Comments on: Magic

By: Mauigirl

Mauigirl — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 17:34:18 +0000

I know what you mean about the Magic Mom things. My mother knows how to fold sheets – even fitted sheets – all by herself, and they come out flat and folded and ready to put away. I never learned this and felt it meant I was not mother material so I never had a kid. Seriously. But perhaps if I’d gone ahead and had the kid I would have magically KNOWN. Ya think? Or maybe it just doesn’t matter? Prob ably the latter.

By: K McQ

K McQ — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:22:23 +0000

hi sweetie! being so far away from family, P & I have always been alone at the hospital and the first couple of days before the family descends. I have to say, especially with the first, it was amazing, amazing to have the first 2-3 days alone just the three of us. It’s time we’ll never get back and I so remember those calm moments. At the hospital, man, just try to keep it to a minimum if you can. I found this to be incredible, for me, as my nurses were so amazing. I was like a sponge asking them a million questions. Not to mention, when they roll you over and check you for ‘roids (and I’m not talking about steroids!), it’s bad enough having your husband there, much less your mother in law or whomever else is visiting!!

Also, the first three weeks after your first labor make pregnancy look like a weekend at the Ritz, so be prepared for that small fact. You’ll be healing and hurting and all that jazz, so keep peeps around who aren’t going to irritate you or you won’t offend when you tell them they are cleaning the belly button incorrectly!!!!

By: Kristabella

Kristabella — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:08:12 +0000

You will be fine! And you won’t be doing anything wrong because you’ll love that little girl to pieces!

I wonder the same thing if/when I have kids. You’d think you would want all the help you can get, but do you want all those extra people around? All the time?

My BFF just had her first baby on Monday and I keep wanting to call her and ask all about it and where are the photos? But I know, that is just me being selfish and I need to give the woman time to heal and get used to caring for A WHOLE OTHER PERSON!

By: Dana

Dana — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:56:42 +0000

I wanted my family there ad then I wanted them to go away! And to come back again! And to go away! I couldn’t decide so we made them hang in the waiting room but as soon as they got wind that the baby was here they all bolted into the delivery room anyway. It was cute and also bizarre as my legs JUST got out of the stirrups.

Also, you crack me up. I too have not learned Magic Mom Things yet. Woe it plagues me.

By: Hollylynne

Hollylynne — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:39:59 +0000

I’m getting panicky just reading your post and all of the comments, and I’m not even pregnant (or MARRIED!) yet. YIKES! White a mine-field!

By: Sheila

Sheila — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:58:48 +0000

Mom Magic is totally all google for me too.

By: Kristin H

Kristin H — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:39:03 +0000

Hello, chiming in again (sorry!) to second TNG’s recommendation for a doula. I didn’t have one the 1st time around, but got one the 2nd, and she made a world of difference. My husband and I were unprepared for the intensity of labor, and how freaked out we both were. Having someone there, who’s on your side and has done it before, is great.

Thus ends my unsolicited advice! At least for now.

By: Blythe

Blythe — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:19:07 +0000

Even though there was no danger of anyone showing up at the hospital (they all lived too far away), we waited until after he was born to call anyone. It was fun to be able to give the big announcement, with his name etc, instead of saying “we’re on our way” and risking a bunch of cell phone calls asking how it’s going, is he here, how dilated is she, etc etc. Some people don’t mind sharing that kind of thing, but I preferred to wait until afterward to decide whether or not to discuss the gory details. I’ve noticed that if they know someone is in labor, people tend to expect them more, and it leads to things like conversations with one’s father-in-law about one’s episiotomy. After it’s all over, most everyone just wants to know whether or not the kid has hair and who it looks like, and you will be totally delighted to tell them all that and more.

By: the new girl

the new girl — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:57:42 +0000

I apologize in advance because I haven’t fully read the rest of the comments. That totally sucks, I know but I’m beat and so that’s that. It is an interesting thing you bring up. I say you have to trust your gut and I generally don’t love to give advice like that because you’re right about being your own lovely snowflake, but I will say this–whenever you decide what it is you want, delegate the execution of those orders to Adam.

If he is not gifted in the area of assertion on your (pregnant/laboring/post-partum) behalf (as my husband was in no condition to do such things for me), go NOW and get yourself a Doula or a labor coach.

Not that she’s going to be keeping your family away or anything like that…I’m just saying your wishes can change, you can experience something that you didn’t expect. For me, pregnancy, childbirth and mothering are some of the very few areas of my life in which I’ve surprised my own self. It’s kinda neat, really. But DO trust yourself.

You’re already doing it.

By: Amy K

Amy K — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:56:45 +0000

Someone besides my husband in the delivery room? Uh, hell no. My in-laws live in the same town so I’m sure we’ll be getting some daytime help from them, but everyone else lives halfway across the country. I’ve already told my parents that we want a couple of weeks to ourselves to bond with the baby and figure out a little bit of the parenting thing before we have out-of-town guests decending upon us like a flock of vultures. And no one is staying with us – they can live in a hotel (our former guest bedroom is now a nursery, so we have an excuse). My mother assumed that they were just going to move in with us for a month+ as soon as the baby pops out, and that’s not how it’s going to be. I get stressed out just thinking about it.