In the Future, When All’s Well
January 29th, 2009
Can I take a moment to kvetch that Top Chef this season is just … meh? I’m not really rooting for a single candidate and there are many that I flat-out actively dislike. (LEAH. SHUT UP.) Okay fine. I liked Ariane, despite her incredible inconsistency, but beyond that? Fleh. And I HATE the new judge. HATE. He’s embarrassingly insecure! And not funny! And … oh, it’s awful. I’m angry at the casting people for making me almost dislike a show that I once loved so, so much.
You bastards! *shakes fist*
Anyway, not to transition to an even duller topic, if possible, but did your family have things like house cheeses growing up? Or a specific kind/brand of jelly? Wow, I am not introducing this well at all, but for example, growing up, we ALWAYS had swiss cheese in the house. Always. Not cheddar, not American, not Muenster — it was always swiss or bust. In fact, I never HAD American cheese until long after I went to college. Not Kraft singles, not Land O’ Lakes sliced yellow American, not a single taste of American cheese of any form! None!
And it was always, ALWAYS strawberry jam — never grape. And now I’ll admit that I never had grape jelly until I met Adam, and I can’t say I like it much, because ew, concord grapes, EW.
My friend Eve grew up in a muenster house, and I know this only from eating far too many sandwiches with her over the years. She will ALWAYS get muenster, and she is, perhaps, the only other person I know who had a non-mainstream house cheese.
These are things I think about now — they’re utterly ridiculous, surely, but it’s weird things like this that make up a child’s memory of how they grew up, provided it was otherwise healthy and loving. What kind of cheese your mom stocked, or whether you ate your macaroni and cheese with ketchup or never had it at all. (We never had it, ever. My mom is Hungarian, so instead, we had things like fried cabbage noodles and chicken paprikash and now that I think about it again, there was an awful lot of sour cream involved in both dishes.)
Since Adam and I both grew up in such disparate environments growing up — his was much more quintessentially American than mine — I wonder what we’ll end up with, and what our daughter will remember. And what’s totally farked is that we’ll probably never really know.
Anyway, you may or may not be interested to know that thanks to your comments, a visit to the doctor today and some (for once) constructive Googling, I learned that my chances of being paralyzed or dying during an epidural are equal to or less than that of dying in childbirth regardless of method. Which, you know, is SPECTACULAR to know, thank you, doctor!
But further, that epidural statistics are factored using the general population, not just pregnant people, meaning that many of those who are afflicted are also sick and/or elderly, with things like infections and compromised immune systems. And — AND! — I have a greater chance of dying in a lightning storm than I do being paralyzed with an epidural. Take THAT, birthy lady! I reject your fearmongering!
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this, but this kid in my abdomen really rarely sleeps. She moves constantly, even if it’s just flinging her fists onto my bladder, though more often, she’s sticking her heels into my ribs and spazzing out like she’s in a mosh pit. I’ve always worried a bit that this means she’ll never sleep when she’s out, but meh, what newborn does, cry me a river, blah blah blah.
However, never have I worried that she’s going to be a totally belligerent little PILL the way I did today when the doctor REPEATEDLY tried to find her heartbeat and she REPEATEDLY dodged the Doppler in what seemed like a caculated fashion. She’d swoop in with the wand, and my baby would swim away, at one point swirling a full 180 degrees to avoid the doctor’s pokes. This went on for a good five to ten minutes, and it would have been funny had I not imagined her standing before me stamping her feet screaming that she wants an Oompa Loompa NOW, Mommy and she’s NOT LEAVING UNTIL I BUY HER ONE AND I CAN’T MAKE HER.
This is not unlike the ultrasound wherein she kicked the wand as hard as she could the second it appeared between her legs, over and over again. I can only hope she’s as vigilant when dating boys. Keep it up, kid. No one belongs in your pants, sister. NO ONE.
I realize this is all unrealistic and I’m totally projecting, but man, it’s hard not to, even over the most happy, benign things.
I hope y’all have a great weekend!
*Morrissey
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51 Comments Add your own
1. pseudostoops | January 30th, 2009 at 12:23 am
We were a jack cheese house. Which, given all the other more delicious choices out there, seems particularly strange.
2. Gwen | January 30th, 2009 at 1:17 am
My mom is Dutch, so in addition to the white American that my sisters and I had in our sandwiches, we always had a wedge of gouda around, with a cheese plane to slice it with. I was completely shocked when I got to college and most people had never even SEEN a cheese plane, much less considered it a necessary kitchen tool.
We also only ever had no-sugar-added muesli or plain Cheerios for breakfast, and only got the good cereal when we went to our (American) grandmother’s house.
3. Heidi | January 30th, 2009 at 2:44 am
It may or may not be an Ol’ Wives Tale, but they say that babies are the opposite as they were in the womb. MINE however, was just as obnoxious in the womb as she is now, at 7 years old. (let’s hope she doesn’t ever hear that, lol, she’d get too much satisfaction out of it). Short story is…….more active usually means more active child. Mine walked by nine months and the progress continues……..she reads above her level, she comprehends above her level, she perfoms (overall) well cuz she’s so active and curious. Enjoy it. Sleepless nights be damned, it’s handy to have an independent, curious little girl.
)
4. sassymonkey | January 30th, 2009 at 7:15 am
We were a cheddar house. Now I have a cheese shelf that always has cheddar but also a big wedge of Parmesan, usually some gouda, maybe some havarti. Oddly Vermont cheddar seems to take up a lot of it most of the year (although we are now sadly out and not making a trip to Vermont to smuggle more into Canada before the spring). And we always had homemade jam – strawberry and raspberry. Now we mostly have raspberry because I’m too lazy to make both kinds. If we buy jam it’s usually from the Farmer’s Market.
I sound like a yuppie don’t I? sigh. I’m just a country girl at heart is all.
5. Marin | January 30th, 2009 at 7:53 am
There’s a store up by where we vacation that sells raspberry jam and we buy that stuff in BULK because we all love it. When it finally runs out around December/January, I am legitimately sad. Mostly because everyone else has more access to the Jam of Goodness than I do, 500 miles away.
Your girl sounds like a firecracker. Enjoy. (No sarcasm, promise.)
6. Julienne | January 30th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Havarti all the way. And every flavour of it imaginable. And if it’s not Kraft peanut butter, it won’t get eaten (I think Kraft PB might only be in Canada though),
7. Sadie | January 30th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Well, I am the only person I’ve ever met whose house only had APPLE JELLY. Peanut butter and apple jelly is damn good. Also, we ate a lot of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and also banana and honey sandwiches. My mom worked in a health food store when I was little so she tried to give us the natural peanut butter with no sugar added, but that didn’t work out so well for her. That said, I am 30 years old and have still never once tasted Fluff, nor do I have any hankering to.
Re: cheese, always white sliced American from the deli – NEVER Swiss. Also lots of cheddar. But the food most closely linked with my childhood is buttered egg noodles with sprinkles of parmesan from a little green can.
8. Shelly | January 30th, 2009 at 9:34 am
I had 2 epidurals. One with each son. I know i would be out of favor with the new age moms, but let me tell you, IT WAS GREAT. Especially for son #2. No pain, visited with my husband and BFF until time to deliver…….had him (VERY EASILY, I MIGHT ADD) and boom…we were a family of 4.
Do NOT let anyone scare, or intimidate you into doing what you aren’t comfortable with. It’s YOUR body, YOUR baby and there are pros and cons to EVERY POSSIBLE SCENARIO. You and Adam do what is right for YOUR family and screw everyone else.
I don’t have any lovely foodie memories of being a kid. I eat weird stuff now—well not weird, but weird combinations….like tacos. I eat meat tacos when we go out, but when making taco’s at home, I forego the meat, and stuff them with quacamole, olives, cheese and tomato.
My mom made alot of pork chops (blech) and cube steak (blech again). Fried hamburgers (blech). So most of my home made food memories are not good. I mean, not therapy inducing, or anything, but my personal food tastes were probably formed by my lack of enjoyment from homestyle cooking.
I like chinese, italian, mexican and fancy fru fru type things. I’m not much into fried chicken and pot roast. I like seafood and avaodos (not necessarily together), fancy pastas and whatnot.
I am not at ALL a cheese person. the most exotic thing I buy is wedge parmesean. Or romano. wow, huh?
Okay, sorry…as is the norm, I’m blogging in your blog.
9. She Likes Purple | January 30th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Those epidural stats make me feel just worlds better. I have less than a week and paralysis or death wasn’t sounding all that good to me either.
I am clinging to Top Chef this season because there’s just not much else on we enjoy watching together. But you are so right about Leah. I’m convinced she’s constantly high.
10. Raven | January 30th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Dude, I so hear you on Top Chef. UGH.
In my house growing up it was Muenster! I still love that stuff. Strawberry jelly. Celestial Seasonings tea. Land O Lakes butter.
11. 3carnations | January 30th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I went into labor thinking I would do it no meds. I lasted about 17 hours in labor that way til I requested the first meds. After another 2 hours I requested the epidural. After all that, I ended up having a c-section anway.
12. Swistle | January 30th, 2009 at 10:34 am
1. Sharp cheddar.
2. Smuckers strawberry. I didn’t even know there was grape JAM (as opposed to jelly) until I was an adult.
13. Cassie | January 30th, 2009 at 10:39 am
We were a colby household — not colby-jack, just colby.
And Leah is of the Devil.
14. Kristabella | January 30th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I think last season’s Top Chef was so much worse. Besides Stephanie and Richard, I hated them all. And when Andrew and Spike came back this week and were all “we were the best season ever” I threw my shoe at the TV.
I love Fabio and Stefan. Like I have a ridiculous cruch on Stefan and his cockiness. And I’m glad they are both still around.
15. Erin | January 30th, 2009 at 11:09 am
I don’t remember what kind of cheese we had as I have never ever liked cheese, but I’m fairly certain it was orange and/or pre-sliced. As for peanut butter and jelly, I ate Jif creamy peanut butter and Welch’s grape jelly every single day of elementary school. And I mean every. single. day. The other thing I remember about childhood meals was that, unless we got pizza delivered, I had meat and potatoes in some form for EVERY home cooked meal I ate until I hit my teens. Hand to God, the first time I ate a salad I was 20 years old.
16. Anonymous New York | January 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am
We bought 2lbs white American cheese every week at the supermarket. I was always self-conscious about calling it “White American.” Because I’m weird. We also had Cracker Barrel extra sharp cheddar, also white. And pepperoni sticks. We were a pepperoni and cheese family. We had Skippy creamy peanut butter and Smuckers strawberry on Stroehman white bread until wheat bread became “the thing.”
My mom makes chicken scampi that I still ask for when I go home. It’s the meal that most tastes like home to me. And Dominoes pizza with extra cheese and pepperoni, which we ordered every Friday night.
17. Allison | January 30th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
This has absolutely nothing to do with your post but I saw this when I was poking around on etsy and it made me think of you and the knitted uterus.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_gallery_12&listing_id=18458246&ga_search_query=vagina+brooch&ga_search_type=tag_title
You may need to wear this to the hospital.
18. Lori | January 30th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
“White American” ? This is the first I’ve heard of it and I’m 40! We had the yellow, individually wrapped “cheese product” slices for grilled cheese sandwiches and then there were other random cheeses from the market.
I never had mac & cheese until it was offered at school. (Yuck.)
Strawberry jelly was usually in the house, because that’s what my grandmother made. I still prefer strawberrry, grape is gross.
There was always Nisua in the house, but I didn’t eat it.
19. Kate @ Life As I Life It | January 30th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
First off, epidurals: in my birthing class our instructor showed us a diagram of where the catheter is inserted. And it was BELOW where your spinal cord ends. By a couple inches. So the myth of having your spinal cord nicked or something is just crap. With my first kid, I went to the hospital after my water broke and the nurses asked me what my plans for pain mgmt were and I said I wanted to go as long as I could w/o anything but probably an epidural. They had a FABULOUS point: don’t wait too long because a)it’ll be harder to hold still for the epi when you’re at the point of writhing in pain and b)you’ll be able to save some energy, get some rest and have the strength to push when the time comes. All very valid points that I never thought of. So there’s that for you. I’d never do it w/o an epi. It actually made for an enjoyable and memorable experience. And it was WAY easier on my hubby who, had I decided to go au naturel, wouldve left me for the waiting room. He couldn’ve have handled it. (Neither could I, to be honest.)
Cheese: Because my very elderly great-grandma lived with us, she qualified for government cheese, so we had alot of whatever that was. Mild cheddar I think? Now, I love all kinds of cheeses, even though I wasn’t exposed to them growing up. Except American. Not a big fan really.
My son was a very wiggly in utero kid and he’s a very wiggly out of utero kid. Always on the go, always curious, always busy and independent (like a pp said). He’s 6.5 now and a gem. He was so much fun as a baby and toddler. And he slept just fine, sleeping through the night at 4 months. Maybe because he tired himself out with all that wiggling!
20. Kate @ Life As I Life It | January 30th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Oops, forgot to change my email address…
21. ali | January 30th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
my family is ALL about the cheese…so we grew up eating all sorts of cheese that people have probably never heard of. BUT, we always had the american cheese slices for the grilled cheese, because that was the only right cheese for it.
22. Jen | January 30th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Enjoy the constant baby kicking while it lasts, because believe it our not, you’ll probably miss it a little bit once your baby is born. I just said to Roth last night that I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to be pregnant, and how that made me a little sad. I guess that’s why women have more than one baby, huh?
23. jonniker | January 30th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Ali: We had other cheeses, too, for other things. For some reason, I was thinking about wee people’s sandwich cheeses.
Lori: Land O’ Lakes and others make sliced American cheese at the deli in white or yellow. I’d never heard of it until my sister had kids and she got it for them.
And Kristabella, I LOVE Stefan. I forgot about that. He’s so weirdly sexy in his awful, douchey ways.
24. H | January 30th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I didn’t know it at the time, but my dad was the cheapest ass guy on the planet. I thought what we had was what everyone had. Ketchup sandwiches (yes, ketchup on bread), saltines in milk for a snack, denvers were made of chopped bologna and chopped pickles mixed with the eggs. The cheese? Nothing but Velveeta. I know it isn’t really a cheese, but I thought it was until I went to college. It was the 70′s, so I’ll cut him a little slack because I know there were economic troubles then, but we absolutely had enough money to buy some real damn cheese.
25. norm | January 30th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Excellent. You have a few months to go yet? My wife would like to inform you that now is the time to let them know that you would like an epidural.
She’s never forgiven them for that one time when she said, “OK, I’m ready for my epidural now,” and they said “Oh no, honey, you’re 9cm, it’s too late, almost time to push,” and she said something that will send her, me, our kids, and all their descendents to Hell because, hello, Catholic hospital!
26. Hollylynne | January 30th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
We have a white cheddar and parmesan household. Not too far out there . . . but Kraft Singles?!?! NEVER!
Also, apparently, I don’t buy beverages. I drink water, and thats all there ever is in the house. Except for milk, which is explicitly for COOKING and not for drinking. My fiance is working on me about this. He thinks we should stock OJ, at least.
I love the image of your little girl evading the ultrasound want
27. KT | January 30th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I like Josea, if even he did cheat on his girlfriend.
We always had Velveeta in the house. Now it just sounds gross.
28. Casey | January 30th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I’m over this season of Top Chef, too.
29. Cara | January 30th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
We were a sweet muenster household. I haven’t thought about that in years! But we always had it. We only had kraft yeller american cheese in grilled cheese sandwiches, and even then we often used muenster anyways. Mmmm grilled cheese….
30. Jess | January 30th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
We had things that we ate in our house, but it wasn’t so much like types of cheese and jam as it was like meals. My mom had certain dishes that she prepared a lot that I still think of as a childhood thing, you know?
31. heels | January 30th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Muenster AND swiss. ALWAYS.
32. Gaby | January 30th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
We had some generic store brand type of Cheddar cheese, and I remember my friend coming to my house for the sole purpose of having a slice of our cheese! I don’t know why, but she loved that cheese.
33. Rhea | January 31st, 2009 at 12:32 am
When my mom was doing the shopping it was gouda (Gourt’s Gouda). I thought all cheese came wrapped in wax.
34. mar | January 31st, 2009 at 11:52 am
family cheese we always had velveeta slices for grilled cheese and shredded mozzarella (i had no idea what real mozzarella looked like until i was an adult, good thing or i would’ve been even fatter as an adolescent) and later on we branched out to colby jack. we did do the kraft mac ‘n cheese, but for some reason i cannot fathom, mom never put in the whole powder packet of neon orange cheese & i can recall our utensil drawer (not the silverware drawer) containing 3 or 4 partially rolled up silver cheese packets with blue lettering.
we were all over with the jelly though because my mom would make jelly. we had grapes in the backyard, strawberries, juneberries, chokecherry, you name it! raspberry is my absolute favorite and s’s mom made some recently & it is fabulous on toasted oatmeal bread! am hungry!
35. Rhi | January 31st, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I just hope New Judge runs out of bad puns soon.
36. clickmom | February 1st, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Don’t hate me here but you should know that while the epidural itself might not kill you it does increase your chances of having a c-section by a whole lot and then you are something like 7 times more likely to have serious complications, including death but more likely a re-hospitalization due to a whole variety of infections, and your daughter is more likely to have breathing difficulties, respiratory problems, her own infections, and more.
There is no shame in pain relief and no medal for natural childbirth but when all is said and done it is a safer alternative for mother and child.
37. moo | February 1st, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Top Chef has been SO disappointing this year.
I had an epidural and it was fine.
My kid was SO ACTIVE in the womb I was afraid. He’s an active little boy, but he’s not SO BAD that I want to poke my eyes out with hot pokers.
GL!
38. jonniker | February 2nd, 2009 at 8:57 am
Oh, Clickmom, I was waiting for you and your natural childbirth agenda. Thanks for more death statistics! And re-hospitalization! And scary C-section statistics that can be perceived as completely insulting!
Natural childbirth is not for everyone. Sorry. Then again, neither are epidurals and hospital births.
And further, I’m weeks away from giving birth. This isn’t the time for last-minute panic or advice from anyone but my doctor, much less someone with an agenda. I’m sure you remember your first pregnancy, or at least I hope you do — it’s plenty harrowing without stats from laypeople or even my birthing class instructor! Like I said, I’ve done my own research and will do what I’m comfortable with.
And for the record, I think everyone should do what they are comfortable with. Who cares how the baby gets here, as long as s/he’s here safely? (WHICH THE VAST MAJORITY OF THEM ARE AND IF THEY AREN’T, IT IS NOT THE MOTHER’S FAULT.)
39. Heather B. | February 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 am
Kraft singles. The yellow kind. And now all I eat is dill havarti and smoked gouda.
40. Chef | February 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
I also hear that if you have a c-section your baby will actually come out as a purple giraffe.
Do what you need to do, we can’t all be natural birthies, sorry.
That said, those birthing pool thingys look pretty rad.
41. bessie.viola | February 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 am
Would just like to say: My c-section daughter is perfect and lovely. She is flawless and breathes quite well, thank you.
Hate the agenda.
On to business: we were a colby-jack household, and I’ve continued that with my husband. We keep Kraft singles for grilled cheese, but are also likely to have swiss and sharp cheddar in the house. I LOVE CHEESE.
Also, for jam? We always had strawberry, but as an adult I fell in love with strawberry-rhubarb. SO GOOD.
42. Meagan Francis | February 2nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
Obviously, as somebody who’s having a home birth, epidural is not for me. I could be smug about it, I suppose, but then I’d be lying about my motivation (I’m just really afraid of needles and have really low blood pressure, so epi is probably not the best/safest choice for me). We all have to make our own choices and do what we’re comfortable with, I support you and you support me, kum-ba-ya and all that.
43. Kerri Anne | February 2nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I stopped liking this season’s Top Chef after last week’s episode wherein they had the top three chefs up for elimination. I mean, I get that they all fall short sometimes, but Jeff? Really? When they consistently show Leah just not really giving a crap the entire time? Boo.
44. Erica | February 2nd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
That (#36) is just a fucked up thing to say to someone who is about to give birth. It’s actually a fucked up thing to say at any point in time, but it’s worse to say right before someone is about to have their FIRST BABY. It’s scary enough as it is – again FIRST BABY – without someone making you feel like you’re going to die or screw up yourself or your baby somehow by deciding on an epidural.
Jonna I know I don’t need to tell you this, but whatever you decide is what is best for you and your baby. People will always try to make you feel like you’re not doing the right/best thing (I still deal with this and Liv is almost 14 months) but trust your gut and you can’t go wrong.
45. Rebecca (Bearca) | February 2nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Everyone is constantly pushing their agenda when it comes to childbirth and it is annoying. Well, all I can say is that prepares you for once the baby is actually OUT and people will STILL feel free to give you their irritating, totally unsolicited advice. My typical response is a polite head nod with an “oh really?” and then, to simply ignore. Because I have yet to find the person would would stop unnecessary fearmongering based on a well-reasoned counter-argument.
The fact is that childbirth is scary… especially the first time. The great thing is that there are all kinds of resources – whether you choose drugs, epidural, hypnosis, whatever – to deal with it in the best way you can.
Personally? I had two epidurals. It was definitely the right choice for me, but it is not my place to order someone else to have one.
46. Melospiza | February 2nd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
1. In our house it was Muenster (“monster,” of course). Which I didn’t even like. And big half wheels of white cheddar that I would not touch. And Colby. Which was meh.
Today I’m a big cheese fan, but back then? Not so much.
2. Strawberry and grape. At some point I decided I didn’t like grape–that’s stuck. Also, occasionally a jar of cherry or plum jam made by my grandma–THOSE wouldn’t last. Wish I could have some now.
3. Since I’m commenting so late, I feel like I need to weigh in on the whole childbirth thing. But I can’t! I’m a feather! I have no weight! Have a great childbirth! It will be great! Once you are done, which is all that counts!
47. Ms. Molly | February 3rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I have to agree with you on Top Chef. It took me forever to even remember people’s names this season. I’m hoping Leah goes home this week. I would have liked Ariane to win but now I’m rooting for Hosea or Fabio. Did I even just get their names right?!
At my house (not my parents house) we always have Tillamok Colby Jack Cheese. Yum.
48. Sleepynita | February 3rd, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Our house was always medium cheddar, and my Dad would be pissed if I cut it with a serrated knife and didn’t wrap it back up perfectly. GOODNESS the lectures I endured over the freaking cheese.
Now Stewart and I always have Mozzarella, Swiss and Parmesan ready to go in the fridge. Once a month I pick up some sundried tomato havarti as well.
I had an epidural with both of my babies, the first one after 54 hours of labour) I wanted a damn nap already) and the damn thing only worked for 10 minutes and they replaced it twice. With my second kid the doctor missed completely and I had no pain relief at all (although labour was only 7 hours the second time). Just saying (not to totally freak you out) that the damn thing may not work anyways.
Although maybe that is just what you get when healthcare is free in Canada….
49. annabanana | February 4th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I wonder if clickmom refuses novacaine when having complex dentistry performed. Or worse, won’t allow her precious sons to have it. Oy the extreme measures know it alls will go to in order to *share* their experiences, completely void of any impact on others. Rude. That’s all I have to say.
J, you will do whatever feels right at the time and you have to trust your gut, your pain level and your doctors. They may not be perfect but they went to medical school, unlike me, you and others…
nuff said.
Stomping OFF SOAP BOX
With much love
Anna Banana
ps: I LOVED LOVED LOVED seeing you and only wish my car died or something, so we could have had a slumber party at Ann’s house!!! When are you coming back? I’m coming to VT whenever you will have me:)
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