There’s a Doctor
February 4th, 2009
One of the bassinet sheets I ordered arrived today and came with a set of Kotex samples, which, in addition to being rather odd, reminded me that OH RIGHT, I haven’t gotten my period since LAST JUNE. But ah, thanks for the heads up, Kotex! And GAWD, could you imagine if, among the myriad of injustices that make up the pregnancy experience, you got your PERIOD, TOO? I totally think that’s grounds for demanding your money back, or at least standing in a rainstorm and expecting diamonds to fall into your pockets, because that’s what you deserve.
Thank God it’s generally a biological impossibility.
It also reminded me that I have NO IDEA where my, uh … supplies … are, for when that day inevitably happens. Although really, rest assured I’m all stocked up on maxi pads, thanks in part to Adam, who learned alllll about the reasons why in birthing class and is getting quite the gleeful kick out of reminding me that yes, yes, HA HA, maxi pads will be a necessity post-partum. (GAAAK)
Moving on! We had our penultimate birthing class last night, and I’m pleased to report it was our most painful yet. It involved a visit from a local pediatrician, and wow, I did not like her, whereas Adam DESPISED her and ranted for an entire hour after the class ended about how desperately he wanted to tell her to stuff it. The problems were several-fold:
- She’s very pro-vaccine, which, while fine and even educational and admirable, was presented in a way that was actually offensive to those who even QUESTIONED the validity of her position, as a woman in our class did, and HOO BOY did she pay for it. Basically the doctor announced that her children were going to die of meningitis, and if that’s what they wanted for their unborn son, then by all means, go right ahead, just don’t say she didn’t warn them. Oh, and when her kid has a fever, she might as well PANIC and get her ass to the EMERGENCY ROOM. Her point was that these awful diseases are coming back, but I …
I think there could have been a more … gentle way to say that, but you know, I could be wrong.
- And yet … she’s pro-attachment parenting AND pro-co-sleeping, which again is fine, except that that’s the only way she sees it working, because that’s what SHE does with her kids. I mean, she nearly started spitting nails when she referenced the bouncy seat (“worst invention ever”) and I was waiting for her to tell us that Ergo now makes waterproof baby carriers designed so that you can shower with your baby, no kidding, because oh my God, you CANNOT PUT YOUR BABY DOWN. EVER.
And she still sleeps with her seven- and nine-year-old and she loves it! And further, she says, if you start it AT ALL, you’d better be prepared to FINISH IT. FOR LIFE!
In other words, if you sleep with your child until she’s 18 months, you’d better be prepared to sleep with her until she’s 18 YEARS. Why yes! She said that! Did you know that your teenage boy will still want to sleep with you when he’s fifteen? Ditto your daughter who’s a junior in high school. She won’t even want her own room! And if you don’t want that, you’d better never let your child into your bed. Ever. OH MY GOD I’M SO SURE.
- I … oh God, I could go on, but you’d be asleep. And again, it’s not that I don’t appreciate her opinion on some things, it’s the WAY she presented it. She did not see us as unique snowflakes! We are merely PAPER CUTOUTS OF FAKE SNOWFLAKES MADE WITH GENERIC PATTERNS FROM COSTCO.
I really dislike people who only see one way of doing things to the point where they belittle others’ viewpoints (see also: politics). I think the least we can do is hear each other out and treat each other with respect, even while saying hey, I get where you’re coming from, but in my professional opinion, you might want to reevaluate (such as the couple with vaccination concerns). And I’m sure the last thing a concerned, hormonal woman wants to hear is that she’s doing it ALL WRONG. My God.
I only hope that the one (yes, ONE) other pediatrician’s office in town is less militant (we’re going there next week), otherwise ho ho HO, baby girl, we’re driving up up and away for your well-baby visits! STRAP IN.
One more birthing class. Four more weeks of pregnancy. A lifetime of parenting assvice. Thrilling!
Happy Thursday!
*The Who
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34 Comments Add your own
1. susan | February 4th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Oh my lord it makes me want to become a pediatrician and move to Vermont for a pediatric smack down.
A lot can happen in 4 weeks. Maybe pediatricians will be doing well baby checks via YouTube and you can pick one in Paris.
2. Mimi | February 5th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Wow, I don’t like that pediatrician either. So glad that there is at least one other options near to you. The other one can’t possibly be so bad, right?
3. Suebob | February 5th, 2009 at 1:44 am
OMG suddenly I know why I am so screwed up! My parents kicked me out of their bed when I was only 14! No wonder I am a mess!
4. Kristi | February 5th, 2009 at 1:46 am
How horribly irresponsible and unethical of her to be ranting that kind of all or nothing attitude! I have always thought of our ped as the person who handles our children’s MEDICAL issues, and the PARENTING issues are left up to us (you know, the parents.) That’s just me though….
5. She Likes Purple | February 5th, 2009 at 5:25 am
I swear, you have been surrounded by a lot of people lately who like to talk about death and WHO TALKS ABOUT DEATH AROUND A PREGNANT WOMAN? I’m not very happy with any of these people and believe they all deserve a swift kick in the shins. I’d offer to come do that myself if I could … especially because at my current weight, my kick could really do some damage.
6. JMH | February 5th, 2009 at 7:50 am
We go to a family dr. so I have never used a pediatrician. We LOVE our dr. He is so laid back. Basically, he supports all of our parenting decisions. He has actually said to “Just do what is best for you and your family. No one is handing out grades at the end” That being said, if we were to make a decsion that put our children in a dangerous position, I am sure he would tell us. He doesn’t sugar coat things when it comes to illness or other health issues. It also helps that he has young children too. I hope you can find someone like that in your area. It sure makes life easier
7. AndreAnna | February 5th, 2009 at 8:01 am
If you get a nice post-partum nurse at the hospital, ask her to smuggle you some of those Giant Just Had a Baby Pads. Or, stick a few a day in your bag and keep telling them you need more. I used them for the first week and they were glorious.
8. -R- | February 5th, 2009 at 8:08 am
That pediatrician sounds like a genius. Co-sleeping with your 13-year-old son wouldn’t be weird at all!
Ew.
9. Swistle | February 5th, 2009 at 8:53 am
It seems like pediatricians OF ALL PEOPLE should be down with the unique parenting snowflakes point of view. And if they’re NOT, they should be in a practice with pediatricians who take other points of view, so that people can CHOOSE.
10. Hillary | February 5th, 2009 at 8:59 am
That doctor sounds terrible.
In addition to be accepting to others’ views, I really think all pediatricians should take lessons in how to speak in a calm, reassuring manner. My pediatrician’s voice is one of the things I love most about him. I could go in there with The Boy bleeding from his head and my doctor would look at us calmly and say, “Well, that’s quite a bump we have there. Let’s see …” The excessive calm I sometimes find irritating in my husband, I find quite soothing from the doctor.
11. Calliope | February 5th, 2009 at 9:13 am
oh wow. How maddening to have such limited options for doctors. So hope the other doc is less, well, crazytown.
12. Raven | February 5th, 2009 at 9:33 am
They did tell you that you will be um… bleeding after having the baby, yes? It is a great injustice I agree, but regular pads (Kotex or whatever) is surely better than trying to walk in the ones that the hospital provides
As for crazy, I’ll be sure to tell my 13 year old that he can just crawl on into bed and sleep with me; I’m sure he’d LOVE that! It’s like torture when I kiss him, I can only imagine the look when I tell him that, I’ll be sure to have my camera ready.
13. Penny | February 5th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Wow, that had to be a hoot. I think I would have popped a vein trying to hold in the retorts.
On the vaccines, I can *sort of*, *kind of* see why some doctors have started holding quite a militant position on it – because the usual subtle, “it’s best and let’s move on now” attitude has butted against the militant anti-vaccine moms out there, who talk about DEATH and AUTISM with ONE TINY PRICK OF THE NEEDLE!
And yea, after hearing that, as a doctor, 5 million times, my hackles would sort of be raised too. Still, I don’t believe in fighting propaganda with more propaganda.
14. Jess | February 5th, 2009 at 9:51 am
It’s so frustrating when people think that THEIR way is the ONLY way. You would think having multiple children would help this woman understand that not every child responds the same way to the same parenting tactics, but apparently not. UGH. I’m with Adam on this one.
15. jonniker | February 5th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Raven: OH YES, we know ALL ABOUT THE BLEEDING. Ergo, the 250-count maxi pad box lurking beneath my bathroom sink.
Penny: I could, too, MAYBE, but what killed me was that the mother wasn’t saying hey, I don’t want to vaccinate. She was asking if the theory behind spacing them out had any merit. (She got the Dr. Sears book, I think, to which the doctor screeched, “THAT HAS BEEN DEBUNKED. PUT IT AWAY.”)
16. Aprylsantics | February 5th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Don’t get me started on condescending pediatricians!
17. Cassie | February 5th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Wow, she sounds really judgemental and opinionated for a PEDIATRICIAN. Yikes. Hope the other doctor in your town is not quite so…militant.
18. ZestyJenny | February 5th, 2009 at 10:39 am
My midwife told me to get some Depends and I was horrified. But then I was really glad to have them. They were great for the whole day I was leaking amniotic fluid in random gushes and also for the first few days after. Just a thought!
Also, I hate that lady.
19. bessie.viola | February 5th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Yikes. That has been one hell of a class, hasn’t it?
Our daughter has slept in our bed a few times. We all seemed to be a giant pain in the others’ ass, and she returned quite happily to her crib.
She’s, um, 12 months. NOT eighteen years, for the Love of Mike.
20. Misty | February 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Snowflakes! From Costco!
Lordy, girl. You are going to make me pee my pants. Re: Crazy Vermont Doctor Lady: Sometimes, you just have to know it is true, because you can’t make this stuff up.
21. heels | February 5th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
You’d think that someone who is a parent AND a pediatrician would understand that not all families/children/situations are alike. What a freakin piece of work!
22. beyond | February 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
sounds like a lot of fun. some people like shoving things down other people’s throats. it may be a result of their upbringing. not enough co-sleeping, or not enough.
23. TwoBusy | February 5th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I’m with Adam. Not that I necessarily agree or disagree with the Ped on either point… but that kind of attitude (esp. when coupled with implicit threats) deserves a swift and carefully targeted kick to the groin.
24. Kristin | February 5th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I second the Family Practicioner (I don’t think that’s spelled correctly?) comment. That’s who I have as my own doctor, and she delivered our baby, so I liked the idea of having that continuity in care. There are probably situations where a Pediatrician could be better, but at least in our case, the FP is great about giving us referals when issues are beyond her scope; i.e. to a dermatologist when the baby had severe eczema and and allergist later on. It might be a good option for you to check out with such a small selection of Peds in your area.
25. Hollylynne | February 5th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Wow, what a sanctamonious biatch! I think you’re right: there are multipile ways of doing things and most of them have at least some validity. And if you try something and it isn’t working out for you you’re allowed to change your mind . . . thats a luxury you’re afforded by NOT being a sanctamonious biatch.
26. LIsa Later | February 5th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
holy cow! she sounds utterly frightful!
and she’s a DOCTOR??
YIKES!!
my retort to people like her with the whole attachment parenting bollox is: so how would that work for TWINS, huh? including one twin who is attached to an oxygen tank 24/7 for the first nine months of life? HUUUUUUUUUUUUH?
sanctimonious biatch indeedy
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (from the other side of the atlantic)
27. Megan | February 5th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Wow, just…wow. I don’t know if I could have stayed through the whole class. Class is for educating about ALL the options, not just preaching about the ones that worked (if they even did) for HER. Ew.
A nurse friend of mine gave me a sweet bag o’ “presents” (ice packs, Dermoplast, tucks, etc) yesterday, and advised me to stock up on anything and everything that is not nailed down in your room. Pack stuff away in your bags, and ask for more. Once it’s in your room, they can’t restock it, so you may as well take it.
28. Jennifer | February 5th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Ew. I hate people who refuse to see any other way but their own and/or shame other people who dare to hold an opinion other than theirs.
Have a relaxing last few weeks! I hope you’re able to carve out some time to do something nice for yourself!
29. 12ontheinside | February 5th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Obviously not qualified to comment, not having any kids, however… co sleeping till teenagers? What? Sick. Apart from the fact that I’m tempted to suspect co sleeping for any great length of time seems like a sure fire way to ensure a 1 child family. And a frustrated pair of parents. (Although if it works for some folks (but not till that old!), cool, just don’t think it’d work for me, personally).
30. The New Girl | February 6th, 2009 at 6:39 am
You are making me so thankful for my pediatrician, who is very thoughtful and willing to discuss the issues at hand. There is another doctor in the practice, though, who told my friend that if she didn’t vaccinate her kids that she (the doctor) wouldn’t be able to continue treating him. (Imagine!)
Hearing you bring up these issues in such a balanced, thoughtful way just makes me wonder why people CARE so much about how other people do things in their lives, you know? Why do they feel the need to INSERT AN OPINION and/or CRITICIZE another’s decisions?
I love the metaphor of being unique snowflakes and I think it applies to almost EVERYTHING.
31. Jonniker. » There’s a &hellip | February 6th, 2009 at 10:52 am
[...] Jonniker. » There’s a Doctor [...]
32. Pediatrician&hellip | February 6th, 2009 at 11:03 am
[...] Jonniker. » There’s a Doctor (jonniker.com) – February 04, 2009My pediatrician’s voice is one of the things I love most about him. I could go in there with The Boy bleeding from his head and my doctor would look at us calmly and say, “Well, that’s quite a bump we… [...]
33. samantha | February 10th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Okay…That pediatrician sounds horrible but I have to tell you something…my daughter still likes to sleep with me sometimes. It’s nothing crazy, I do have a king sized bed all to myself and the DVD player is usually in here and it gets a little chilly in her room on cold nights and maybe she worries I might be lonely and she wants to keep me company but there it is. We started out with a begrudging family bed (I was exhausted and needed to sleep, she was my third child) and here she is 17 years later wanting to curl up with me. I think it is sweet. I’m going to miss that girl like crazy when she leaves for college next year!!
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