City
April 29th, 2009
First of all, to any would-be breastfeeding mamas out there, if you, like me, idly wondered what it would be like to be engorged, and gee willikers, would I even know? Yes, yes, you would know. It’s like someone took a pile of rocks and not-so-gently placed them into your boobs without warning. I experienced this, by the way, at the hand of an extra-long nap my girl so kindly handed us Monday afternoon. The solution was to nurse it off, and I learned not only by experience, but from frantically e-mailing my friend Amanda, who promised long-ago to offer breastfeeding support when I needed it. (And dude, she’s more than delivered on that front,and has been awesome. They don’t call her Mandajuice for nothing.)
Anyway! I hesitate to say this, but things are marginally better. I mean, I’m still a co-sleeping parent with an elaborate series of ritualistic routines to get her to sleep at night without screaming, but whatever. Small victories, people, small victories.
First off, in retrospect, I’m not sure the specialist was needed for us so much as for the pediatrician on call who handled Sam’s reflux. Dude did not know what to DO with her, and he just panicked, sent her off with a scary diagnosis and ran away. I think he thought since he’d thrown her the biggest gun he had — the Prevacid — that this was time for DEFCON 1-level action. And don’t get me wrong — I’m glad he did, because thanks to him, she’s being treated by someone who has a clue, but really, had he been a little more ballsy, we could have saved a lot of tears. Um, mine, that is.
(Btw, she’s now on Zantac and it seems to be helping. Zantac! Of all things! The pansy-ass first line of reflux drugs! That tastes like melted toothpaste! Gross!)
Now, for my plate of crow: it appears we DO have colic AND wicked bad reflux. How delightful! We shall revel in the screaming! The only consolation is that colic usually resolves in ~three months, ergo, there may be signs of even FURTHER improvement then. I’ll take it.
For the record, the colicky hours-long screams she’s had since the Zantac are WAY WAY different than the painful, ear-searing reflux screams. WAAAAY different. Painful, yes, but not so obviously painful for HER. Who knew I’d be happy about colic? Yay, colic! We welcome your *temporary* presence!
Moving on! You’d think all this screaming put a damper on my TV time, but you’d be wrong. Turns out, when you’ve got a screaming kid, there is little else to DO but either turn up the music or the television while you’re dealing, because there isn’t any other way to cope. And for the record, it doesn’t keep her up or distract her. We’ve tried silence, soothing music (rain! snow! white noise! whatever! I think Adam bought the entirety of white noise offerings on iTunes) and it makes no difference whatsoever.
And so, my child has been subjected to many, many late-night viewings (well, listenings, as her back is to it) of the Sex and the City movie, as it’s on ALL THE DAMN TIME, which features a gratuitous sex scene with Miranda and Steve that honestly, I could have just flat-out done without. It’s awkward, sweaty, strangely unnecessary, and, because I’m apparently a closet prude, I just kept thinking how UNCOMFORTABLE it must have been to film, given that these are REGULAR ACTORS and not, say, porn stars. Or fluffers, even. Jesus.
Also, and I’ve said this before, Sarah Jessica Parker is NOT a good actress, and the character of Carrie Bradshaw is painfully self-centered, and frankly insufferable, and I don’t understand how the series kicked off such a bona-fide phenomenon. I never identified with a single SATC character, experience or relationship, nor did I really have aspirations for any of them. I mean, really, does one really wear a sequin hat with their pajamas with a fur coat out of the house? Really? COME ON. And the LOOK on her face! The calculated, “I am so fashionable, please examine my daring choice of headgear”-LOOK on her face.
God, I despise SJP. DESPISE.
This is likely because I am a homebody with a history of being in the marching band and the fashion sense of an LL Bean catalog at BEST, but still! I lived in a city once! And was single for about five minutes in my twenties before I met my husband! And … oh forget it. I am not its target audience, I accept this.
Further, it dawned on me that my daughter shares a name with one of the women (yes, this just occurred to me), and that there’s a chance people might thing I did it on purpose.
Dude, how good is Real Housewives of New York City this season? And it’s SOLELY because of the Bethenny/Kelly war, and most specifically, Kelly’s stupidity. Oh, Kelly. Easily the best character on reality television for pure dumbassery alone, although I sense she will be outdone with the RH of New Jersey, because really, NEW JERSEY. My almost-homeland (I grew up literally on the border, about an hour from Newark). I’m fully expecting Sopranos-like drama, and will be bitterly disappointed if I don’t get it.
I hope you have a great week. And further, I hope to see you again later this week, maybe. I’ve figured out how to shower almost every day (bouncy seat, y’all), so maybe I’ll figure out how to blog when and if she finally sleeps.
O happy day!
*Sara Bareilles
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
35 Comments Add your own
1. Anne | April 29th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Yay sleep! So glad to hear the poor kid is getting some relief from the reflux. It is SO HARD to listen to a baby in pain like that. Screaming is annoying, but can be put up with. But seeing that pain in their little faces breaks my heart. My old roommate’s daughter had it really bad, and it sucked to feel so helpless.
In other news, Dara Barellis came on my iPod as I was reading this entry. Clearly we both have awesome taste.
2. Emily | April 29th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
So glad things are improving. Even marginal improvement is a step in the right direction, and it is only going to keep getting better. Maybe not for another couple of weeks, but it WILL GET BETTER. I am happy the zantac is working, but happier that you seem to really have a great attitude about it. I know it’s hard, but it helps so much that you have perspective that a lot of people don’t gain until they’re PAST the bad parts. You’re a wise woman, Jonna.
3. hollylynne | April 29th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I’m so glad the Zantac seems to be working for her!
4. Kim | April 29th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
In the frantic emotinal roller coaster that is my ongoing fertility saga, the Real Housewives of NYC have kept up my will to live. I’ve never watched any of the other Housewives shows, but love this one, maybe because I’m from NY? Even though I’m nothing like them, obviously? But yes, I have a feeling the New Jersey ladies will rule my world as well.
5. Allison | April 29th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
That scene with Miranda and Steve made me wildly uncomfortable. And I, too, wondered what it was like to film it. Ew.
6. KBO | April 29th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Yay! for marginal improvements.
I am totally on the what’s up with SATC train. Like pretty much all the white, middle class girls who were in college while it was on, I’ve seen them all, mostly from hungover Sundays where it was all could muster besides getting a Totinos in the oven. But damn, from a critical perspective, that show/movie is all bullshit. One, no brown people. Two, for the most part, rich people with money to spend on unnecessarily-expensive (and often fugly) couture clothing. Three, because their lives revolved around men. Don’t tell me it didn’t; it did. Lame.
Maybe Sam is screaming AT SJP. Just a thought…
7. Elizabeth | April 29th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Glad to hear the Zantac is helping. ANd that you have a sense of humor about it because Woah, it sounds intense.
Also, I don’t know if I will ever get over the trauma of Steve and Miranda and that sex scene. Seriously, I was screaming while watching it. The only worse part of the movie was the plot line based on the Charlotte POOPING IN HER PANTS. Good god was that movie DRECK.
8. Rhi | April 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I love it when Kelly is RUNNING IN TRAFFIC. Now, I will admit, I’ve only been to NYC once, and I don’t really know if people do that there. But, here in Portland? WE DO NOT RUN IN TRAFFIC.
Biking is a whole other story, but running, NO.
9. Ali | April 29th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
yay for zantac! That is what worked for violet as well. I so know what you mean about the difference between colicy screaming and colic+reflux screaming.
Boy, that brings back memories. hehe.
It took me a while to accept that what she had was ‘colic’. I kept wanting to hold out, to figure out WHAT was going on, and I finally just gave up somewhere in the first two months and admitted it. COLIC. Worst 5 letter word I’ve ever heard, I tell you what.
I am crossing my fingers for you that the colic peaks and ends way, way earlier than it did for us. If it is any consolation, if it lasts longer than 3 months, (for us) it did get better, bit by bit, until it was finally gone. So the screaming and stress and all of that when it is at its worst is so not the same beast as what you are dealing with on the tail end of it. And hey, by the end of that time, you will be like, “Screaming babies? Whatevs, bring it on biatches!”
You seriously can survive just about anything after colic. (Heh, especially reflux + colic)
These little girls sure are worth it.
10. Kristi | April 29th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Wow! Congrats on figuring out the showering thing – that took me so much longer than it has taken you!
Also, that SITS scene w/Steve & Miranda makes me sick every time I watch it! I’m so embarrassed for them! Really. Unnecessary.
Can’t wait for RHW New Jersey! Cannot Wait!
11. Deb | April 29th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
From what I have deciphered from a billionty doctor visits for my own colicky/refluxy kids…Colic = We Don’t Really Know Why Your Child Is Screeching Like This, Here Is A Meaningless Word We Pretend Is A Diagnosis For You To Cling To. The only cure is time -I know it sucks MAJOR, but it WILL end and one day you will realize that, hey, today didn’t suck.
Also, for those times when the bebe takes a long nap, a breastpump can be a lifesaver. I can recommend the Medela without reservation. Mine lasted thru two babies who were fed exclusively with pumped milk (read: I pumped 6 times a day for almost two years). Breastmilk stores very well in the freezer (in special bags), and you might want to consider stockpiling some in case Dad needs to feed, or you are on antibiotics or something and can’t give her milk…whatever.
Also – I LURVE the Real Housewives! Oh Muh Gah, that Kelly has a mental illness. I am not even kidding. The running in the street was hilarious – I felt like I was watching some cheesy Spencer and Heidi music video. I am totally Team Bethany, I want her to crush Kelly with sarcastic barbs.
12. Briana | April 29th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Closed captioning is the BFF of parents of small screaming children. It’s the only way we can follow a program now. I even turn on subtitles when baby is in bed to help pay attention to the movies. The sacrifices we make as parents
Also, Ergo carrier is my BFF for whiny baby syndrome. Especially when they get to be 20 pounds and clingy. oh joy-he’s up from his nap!
13. jonniker | April 29th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Deb: I have and love the Medela Pump-in-Style, but unfortunately, during Sam’s nap, I … also napped, causing a rather unfortunate situation that couldn’t be pumped off. I TRIED. OMFG I tried.
And yes, the colic is in addition to the reflux. But it feels SO MUCH MORE NORMAL than the painful acid-y reflux screams. Those were bad, and always had a pattern (and some nice acid barfs) beforehand, plus has the added bonus of the gagging and puking PLUS the screaming. They’ve all been minimized since the Zantac.
14. AndreAnna | April 29th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
1) My daughter also shares a name with one of the characters (Charlotte) which I didn’t know since I never saw ONE episode of the show, but when the phenomena hit and people asked if I named her after that show, it was all I could do not to dickpunch the next person who asked.
2) I live in NJ. Am scared. Very, very scared. (Also: secretly excited)
3) It DOES get better. I promise, promise, promise.
15. beyond | April 29th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
happy everyone is feeling better at your house.
i honestly think that kelly is stoned in every scene. at first i though drunk, but i think not. (rhi, people in nyc do not run in traffic either!) can’t wait for real housewives of nj.
i can’t grasp why people find sjp beautiful. even with professional make-up and good lighting, she always looks a bit… like a man.
16. Raven | April 29th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Oh my hell, I love RHoNYC so much. Kelly is SUCH a moron and completely insufferable, she completely makes me love Bethenny all the more.
Jersey is going to be an oompa loompa tinged thug trainwreck for sure!
17. whoorl | April 29th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Kelly. OMG, Kelly. Running WITH the traffic? With her hair down? Who in the hell runs with their hair down? In front of cabs? GAH.
“Hiiiiiiii”…if I hear that horrid voice one more time, I don’t know what I will do, Jonna.
18. Amy | April 29th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
First time commenter, here. My son had reflux and was on Zantac (seemed to work a while), then Prevacid (major diarrhea… had to stop that), and now we’re back to Zantac again (increased dose). One thing the specialist recommended was hypoallergenic formula. We started him on that 5 days ago and OMG, the difference! MUCH less spit-up = happy and (knock-on-wood) SLEEPING baby! FYI, we’re using Nutramigen — very $$$ and tastes awful, but hey, it seems to be working
19. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com | April 29th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Good luck with the sleep. And I’m glad that you were able to get some better help diagnosing Sam. I hope things clear up before the three month mark, but if not? Hey, there’s worse things than memorizing every line to the SATC movie.
Oh, wait.
Okay, there’s not. But at least you’ll get a few showers in!
20. mar | April 29th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
glad the zantac seems to be working for you. i just had an allergic reaction to iv zantac today which was used in lieu of benadryl to which i’d also had an allergic reaction as a premedication not to have an allergic reaction to my 7 weeks infusion of meds. hah! am a freak!
also, don’t know what the dealio is with satc. sure, i watched it in re-runs when nothing else was on weekdays & pub library’s dvd stock had not much else to watch. still haven’t seen the movie. definitely didn’t consider renting a limo & dressing to the nines like my bff of 25 years did with her pals in fla. ergh!
21. She Likes Purple | April 29th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
You are so, so, so, so right about the whole colic is actually a silver lining thing. I could handle the regular screaming, I could not handle the you-must-be-ripping-off-those-poor-baby’s-toes screaming because of how much obvious pain he was in. I think we had a combo (man, it’s all so HARD to diagnose) of reflux and colic and it’s so much better now, I would tour the country endorsing parenthood. But, really, I think because it was so Hard and Difficult and did I mention Hard, I am loving it so much more now than if it had just been smooth sailing the entire time. Every smile NOW is like a victory and is 10x more glorious because I really feel we earned those smiles, you know? Or is that what I’m telling myself to make the whole experience seem less GOD AWFUL and HORRIBLE?
Also, we just switched cable packages and got a free month of HBO and Mike screamed the other day, “HBO SUCKS. THE ONLY STUPID THING ON ALL DAY IS THAT SEX MOVIE IN NEW YORK CITY. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH ALL THE WOMEN WHO AREN’T PRETTY.”
22. Jennifer | April 29th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Kelly reminds me of a piece of fruit leather combined with a shriveled ankle strap that fell off a clog of mine a couple of months ago. What a reprehensible human being. I really don’t think there’s any way to explain her behavior other than drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.
As for the RHNJ? BRING IT THE FUCK ON. Mine eyes have seen the glory, folks.
23. claire | April 30th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Glad to hear that you know what’s happening with Sam’s screaming now. That must be awfully scary before you have a diagnosis. Jeeze. Poor baby.
I think i heard the other day that Sara Jessica Parker is pregnant now? With twins? I’m not sure if it’s true, but if it is, well then congratulations, Horse Face! (I keeed, I keeed) I never saw SATC when it was running for the first time (no HBO) but i had been trying to watch the seasons on-demand and then got bored and gave up. Ah well.
24. Kristin | April 30th, 2009 at 8:55 am
“A piece of fruit leather combined with a shriveled ankle strap that fell off a clog of mine”–thank you for that. Seriously…I am home sick, sick, sick with an upper respiratory infection and even though I just laughed so hard that I triggered a 5 minute coughing fit…it was worth it. So true.
Glad to hear that things are better in the Jonniker household. Here’s to hoping that every day gets better and better! Oh, and I hear you about the engorgement. You definitely know!
25. Jess | April 30th, 2009 at 9:02 am
I totally agree with you about Carrie Bradshaw, and yet I love SATC. I don’t know what it is. It just calls to me.
26. Meg | April 30th, 2009 at 9:20 am
If it is any consolation, the only character on tv with my son’s name was on One Life To Live and it is the only time most people have ever heard the name. (although it is in the Bible and sometimes people will know that) I would give anything for STC.
27. Aprylsantics | April 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
That is so funny! My daughter would stop DEAD IN HER TRACKS when the Sex and the City theme song came on the television.
BTW, will they let you give her some gas drops? I found that helped a lot. If you give her some before feeding, it helps to reduce the size of the gas bubbles that are formed in the digestion process, while the Zantac will help to reduce the acid. Just a little assvice for the taking.
28. Kari | April 30th, 2009 at 11:58 am
You know, I agree with the SATC assessment generally and the SJP character in particular. That said, there was a scene in the movie that positively stunned me, as it was totally out of character for Carrie Bradshaw.
It was when she got out of bed when Miranda called on New Years’ Eve and actually went to Miranda’s place (in that ridiculous outfit). That would have never happened during the series’ run – Carrie was a completely self-absorbed character that never ran to her friends’ sides.
For me, at least, that was the saving scene of the whole movie.
29. Amanda | April 30th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
You have no idea how happy it makes me to help you! Seriously! I have an encyclopedia of boob knowledge rotting away in my mental library right next to the memory of boobs that didn’t used to sit on my stomach.
It’s funny you mention SATC because over this past weekend I realized that I am a married version of Samantha. Get me alone with my friends and it’s all I can talk about. I become a sex evangelist. IT CURES EVERYTHING! Especially boredom and upset husbands, but also headaches! (Stop looking at me like I’m CRAZY. I swear it comes back to you… eventually.)
Jonna, you are the poster child for grace under fire. I’m endlessly impressed.
30. anne | April 30th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Oh thank goodness you have at least reached someone who can give you answers and some relief. I was in such pity for you.
I think you have a perfectly fair analysis of SATC – it is all those things and probably more. Plus you have a fair perspective that you were probably not their target audience. But! Yet I have to defend it because I’ve always loved it. It just has a place in my heart. Probably more so the watching of the show than the shot itself at this point. However, I think that no one related to 1 character in particular, but a combination of all of them – that is from one time or another. There was always something on some level you could find to relate to and make you feel better to know you are not alone in the dating/finding yourself morass.
Further, my feeling was that it was supposed to be over the top. No one lives like that, no one dresses like that – but it was fun. It was exactly like all couture and fashion shows are- it is not meant to be worn directly, but it is for a show and enjoyment. Yet you can take a piece here and there and translate it to your needs. I always felt that this was the same thing. Not to be taken exactly literally. (Sorry to go on (and on and on) but like I said the show held a special place in my heart.)
31. Shin Ae | May 1st, 2009 at 9:51 am
Yay! Glad something is helping her.
Today is my birthday and my gift to myself is Real Houswives of New York City reruns. I am soooo excited.
32. The New Girl | May 1st, 2009 at 1:48 pm
All I could think of with that sex scene was OMG! How in the hell did they film this??
A humiliation situation.
A total break in the suspension of disbelief, that.
You know, you have me thinking that it was possible that we had BOTH colic and reflux also. I’d never thought about that before, really, because I’m always like, what IS colic anyway?? But, hmmm. I wonder.
33. Mrs. Wilson | May 2nd, 2009 at 7:02 am
I can’t stand SJP either. At all. And I also think she is a HORRIBLE actress.
I’m glad you’re finally getting in an almost-daily shower! Good for you!!!
34. Sam | May 2nd, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I’m glad things are getting better, well, except for boob issues. Those are never fun! But I must chime in re: Kelly from RHoNYC. She is an idiot! The running in traffic! The arguments that MAKE NO SENSE. The flirting with that cute Max guy…okay, that’s fine. The late to her own party! We could go on and on. I can’t wait to see her squirm on the reunion episode, for sure.
35. Kristabella | May 4th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I am glad things are getting better, My friend and her screaming baby turned a corner around 12 weeks.
I am a SATC fan and yet, like you, so didn’t relate to them or envy to be them. I’m not sure why I enjoy the show so much. Maybe because I’m a sucker for stories about single women, older like not in their 20s, who end up finding happiness because I AM a single woman in her 30s who is a spinster with cats.
Kelly is just ridiculous. I wasn’t always the hugest Bethenny fan until Kelly came along this season.
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