52 Comments Add your own

• 1. Mimi  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm

  My dog loves dirty diapers too. It took me a while to remember to never leave them laying around, or within his reach EVER. Because as soon as I forgot JUST ONCE he would find it and eat it again. Dogs are so gross.

• 2. stephanie  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  Kelly linked to you. That’s how I found your blog. I don’t have a baby, but all I can say is, oh, my, you are funny.

• 3. Danielle-lee  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  OMG. Damn dog. I wonder if she is rolling in it? To, you know, put her sent on the kid’s crap? I mean, dogs do that with other dogs sometimes. It’s odd. F-ing dogs.
  You aren’t alone-I ignored my babies (2 labs) after having my girl. I didn’t mean to, it was just so consuming and I would forget to feed them, or leave them outside for HOURS, omg, I felt so guilty. But, slowly, I stopped being so consumed, and slowly, I was able to find time to love on them, and the terrible digging in the middle of the yard stopped. Imagine that?? Maybe a bit more positive attention will calm her ass down?
  Poor you!

• 4. Anne  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

  Oh man, that is so gross with the diapers. Ew! More proof that our beloved animal BABEES have the brains of a gnat, yes?

• 5. The New Girl  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

  OMG.

  In this case, I CAN tell you what to do…go and get a Diaper Champ. You use regular garbage bags in it but it has a flip-top, like, and she won’t be able to knock it over and get into it.

  OMG.

  Despite that, you will love her again, I swear. Just in time for number 2 to come…

• 6. samantha jo campen  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

  I never ever ever EVER thought I’d neglect our cat after the baby was here but OMG. It’s not uncommon for her to meow and meow and meow when all of a sudden we look in her bown and wonder when was the last time we fed her. And I used to work at an animal shelter! I feel horrible. I used to scoop her litter box twice a day and now I’m lucky if I do it once a week. I suck. So no, you’re not alone.

  And what kind of diaper pail do you have? We have the diaper champ and I can’t see how a dog would be able to bust into that bad boy. But then again, I’ve never met the likes of Sunny.

• 7. Hillary  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

  Yes. That is the problem with all those baby books — no one can tell you exactly how to deal with your specific baby. Everything is really just best guesses and might be total crap for you.

• 8. Jess  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

  It makes me so sad to think that someday we’ll feel this way about Montana. I don’t think she’ll appreciate it either, being the attention-desperate rescue dog that she is. I know we’ll still love her, but priorities will shift. But OMG PLEASE DON’T LET HER TRY TO NURSE. NO NO NO.

  Also, I love how you say, “Is everybody here?” “Definitely not.” I love that.

• 9. Swistle  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm

  I always have SO many things I want to say after one of your posts!

  1. When I had my second baby, my first child seemed like such a Wondrous Big Kid to me. Like, he was only two years old but he could BE OF ACTUAL ASSISTANCE TO ME. It was amazing and made me love him more. Like if you could say to Sunny while nursing, “Sunny, sweetheart, could you get me my book?” or “Sunny, baby, can you get me a kleenex?” AND SHE WOULD DO IT.

  2. Target always gets in some nice big plastic cups around summertime. Probably they are not 32 ounce, though. My guess is 24 ounce. I could go measure, but meh. Too lazy.

  3. I find that when my youngest baby is about 2 years old, I start feeling ready to give affection to my pets again. And to my husband.

  4. You are so funny and cute.

• 10. kirida  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

  When nathan was born and the cats did anything to his stuff, I got LIVID, especially when they jumped into his crib.

  I have also gone to the restroom with a baby in an Ergo. I had no choice.

• 11. TwoBusy  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

  Unfortunately, that “No! Sunny, no! No! No!” will get transferred to Sam when you have your twins in another two years. Because just as Sunny now acts out to get your attention… so will Sam when you’re suddenly burdened with little Brady and Bruschi.

  Btw: fuck the Baby Whisperer. Seriously.

• 12. She Likes Purple  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:25 pm

  My frustrations with Molly are solely tied to her barking. Oh my god, dog, I know your dad is home and you love him best but SHUT UP WITH THE BARKING ABOUT IT ALREADY. I had/have been so short with her for so long because her barking is really the only thing that wakes Kyle up after he’s gone down. I was feeling major guilt about it until last week a reader mentioned that she doesn’t like how I call myself Molly’s mom because I’m obviously not, and I got all mama bear and emphatically stated multiple times YES I AM HER MOM, DO NOT SAY I’M NOT.

  Also, is everybody here? Hmm. I don’t think so for me either, which blows my mind. We should be done. This process has been so hard and so humbling, and it’s JUST STARTED and, yet, no, I don’t think everyone is here yet.

• 13. Holly  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:33 pm

  Just wanted to point out that the “Baby Whisperer” actually died in 2004, so hunting her down probably won’t be very effective.

• 14. jonniker  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

  OMFG Holly. I am torn between hysterical laughter and crippling guilt.

• 15. Jessica  |  May 20th, 2009 at 1:48 pm

  Irreverently snorting with suppressed laughter over the RIP baby whisperer.

  Ahem.

  So, I have two outside dogs (it’s the country, y’all) and you should see what happens when they get their mitts on an entire pail full of diapers. It has never occurred to me to film it because it is too horrific.

• 16. Jamie  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:04 pm

  oh my sweet Jesus. and here I thought our family dog was awful when she ate the crotches out of all of our underwear. at least that didn’t require a carpet steamer to correct.

  you officially have my sympathy. and if you drive to chicago, you can also have my hoover steam-vac, if that would help.

• 17. Kristina  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:21 pm

  This made me laugh out loud. My dog wasn’t into diapers, but loved dirty nursing pads. SICK. Also, when he looks at me I can tell that if he could talk he would say “What have you done to my life bitch?”

• 18. Katie R  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

  YUCK! my dog does that too, i forgot to throw a diaper away when we left the house (I KNOW…YUCK) and i came home and Honey had unwrapped the poopy diaper and ate the contents..YUCK YUCK YUCK!!

  and i totally agree with the whole dont love the same way as before..i have 4 dogs ( yeah its really that hectic) and i want to lock them in the other room ALL THE FRICKEN TIME!! but i still love them…kinda…

• 19. Kristabella  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:43 pm

  I was going to reply on Twitter about the EASY method and ripping on my friend who thinks that is the BIBLE, but then I remembered that she just joined Twitter.

  I’m screwed if I ever have kids because I feel guilty about liking one cat more than the other. And the one I ignore gives me the evil eye and probably pukes in my shoes.

• 20. Sarah  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

  This exact thing happened to us too (more than once, aren’t we smart!) – and it is gross. And I think we have the same sofa as you.

  Also didn’t think I could ignore the dog ever, but sadly it has happened. Also hope it doesn’t happen with a second child!

• 21. Holly  |  May 20th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

  (I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty!) I should’ve clarified that I only found out that she was dead because I had the same reaction to her when I read the book in 2004, (especially the liberal use of Luv this! and Luv that!) yet still went online to find out more information.

• 22. H  |  May 20th, 2009 at 3:09 pm

  When our son was born, our dog started behaving oddly. She slept all the time, seemed lethargic when she was awake and would not “look” at us or would often turn her back to us. So I took her to the vet and the vet said she was physically fine, but she was depressed. The guilt! She was my baby too, before I had a human baby.

  Also, our current dog (RIP the first beagle) is like Jamie’s and eats the crotches out of our underwear, my exercise capris and, once, ate the crotch out of my son’s Under Armour briefs. Gross.

• 23. laura  |  May 20th, 2009 at 3:12 pm

  i’m sorry i’m laughing my ass off, but only because i have been down this road! it gets better! everyone is still adjusting. my poodle is a champ she has been delt with a 3 y/o, 2 y/o and now a 3 month old, they learn and you once you have “time” ha! it will go back to “normal” again. love your blog!

• 24. Blythe  |  May 20th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

  The tone of that Baby Whisperer book made me want to scream. Even if I did imagine it with a British accent. And then I found out she died of breast cancer and felt simultaneously terrible and glad I would never feel obligated to read The Toddler Whisperer (shout out to you, Harvey Karp). And the most unfortunately thing about that book is that some of the advice was quite useful to me, but I almost couldn’t bring myself to try it just to spite her and her condescension. That’s right! I was trying to spite a dead person.

• 25. Kristin  |  May 20th, 2009 at 4:33 pm

  Don’t feel guilty about the Baby Whisperer. I so hated that book. I read tons of books the first three months after my son was born and you know what I kept coming back to? Dr. Spock. My mom gave it to me at my baby shower and I thought it was so old fashioned. It festered on my bookshelf while I read Dr. Sears and What to Expect the First Year and the Happiest Baby on the Block and many others. Then one day I opened it up and I loved it.

  I love how the basic advice is that you are the parent and you have to do what works best for you and your family. It has such a non-judgemental tone. It kind of empowered me. I was always looking for the “right” answer and it helped me to learn that there are often many right answers and you have to choose the one that is right for you. I don’t hold to one speciifc parenting philosophy, but borrow from all of them.

  My son is now 2 and a half and I still refer to the book all of the time.

• 26. Amy K  |  May 20th, 2009 at 4:52 pm

  A Diaper Champ might change your life. I know what you mean about Dog after Baby – our two corgis are so lonely now that they’re more excited than we are when friends come to visit, because it means someone will play with them and pet them and never tell them no. I feel so guilty about not spending enough time with them, but after entertaining a baby all day, I have a hard time finding the willpower to throw a ball.

• 27. Mama Bub  |  May 20th, 2009 at 5:03 pm

  Swistle is right, our baby is almost two and I find myself noticing the dog again. The dog, about whom my husband wondered if he could have the same amount of love for a human baby. And not to speak ill of the dead, but the Baby Whisperer, NO. I could not wrap my head around her schedule. But what if the baby eats and then falls asleep. THEN WHAT? Do I hurry up and get my Y time in NOW? Or wait until the next cycle and hope he gets with the program?

• 28. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com  |  May 20th, 2009 at 6:18 pm

  Being around dogs with diapers is the one thing that finally convinced me that dogs, no matter how cute and wonderful, are absolutely disgusting.

  Tell Sunny to watch it, though. One of my coworkers had a dog that ate the whole diaper and it killed the dog by absorbing all the water, etc, in the belly. The vets couldn’t get it out and it just dehydrated the poor critter =(

• 29. Jinxy  |  May 20th, 2009 at 7:20 pm

  My Hubby and I are having the same problem with our 3 cats. Ok they don’t eat diapers but they were the babies before Lily was born and now they drive us crazy. I’m glad we aren’t alone in this.

• 30. Trista  |  May 20th, 2009 at 8:10 pm

  Um, yes, I have peed with my daughter be-slinged on my chest. It was that or wake her up, and I was so not waking her up. And I’m totally with you on the “baby expert” books – they can suck it. Worse still was the “What to expect” series, which really should be re-titled something like “What to expect if the absolute worst happens.”

  We have two cats that we probably treat like furniture now that the baby is here. I find myself saying things like “Ohmigod stop complaining, no one cares” to the meowing cat. And then I feel terrible, because they got so so much more attention before the competition arrived. Hopefully this will pass. As for the dog eating diapers, I second the advice of many above – try a diaper genie/diaper champ, it has a lid that clicks into place and the dog would need opposable thumbs to get it open.

• 31. Casey  |  May 20th, 2009 at 8:21 pm

  I’m going out on a limb (with two of your other commenters, if that’s possible) to say that while, yes, another baby will make Sam seems so big (!) and helpful (!) in comparison, when she chooses not to be so big and helpful, it will make you want to tear your hair out. That’s where I am with my 5 1/2 year old and almost 2 year old. Most of the time, big sister is a DREAM and I can’t believe my luck. But when I’m low on sleep or patience or blood sugar (or, hell, Ritter Sport bars), she does bear the brunt of my impatience. I’m trying to rein that in, but when the older one has such a magnificent grasp of the English language (compared to the baby) I guess it only seems natural to have the argument with her (instead of the baby). I’ll pay for her therapy. I promise.

• 32. Casey  |  May 20th, 2009 at 8:24 pm

  Oh, and vis-a-vis books. I really tortured myself with some of those that you mentioned, all the while nursing a baby who wouldn’t sleep more than 1 3/4 hours at a stretch for over a YEAR. The first book I found that made me feel good about totally spoiling her and forgoing a decent night’s sleep in over 365 days was The No-Cry Sleep Solution. And I will admit, right here and now, it did not improve my daughter’s sleep habits (because I probably didn’t implement the suggestions correctly). BUT! It did put my mind at ease and help me relax about it all, which was sorely needed at the 5 month mark.

• 33. Kristin H  |  May 20th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

  I haven’t read all the comments yet so forgive me if I repeat something, but the dog thing? Yes. Just…yes. I loved–LOVED–my two dogs. But after Sophie was born? Well, they took second place. I’m sorry, it’s hard for people without kids who love their dogs to understand. And my dogs didn’t even eat diapers.

  It wasn’t at all the same with kid number two, at least for me, presumably because we’re talking about human and not a canine. I did find myself being more short with Sophie after Aiden was born, but it’s probably for the best. If we hadn’t had Aiden, we would have really spoiled Sophie.

• 34. robyn  |  May 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm

  My dog used to be my baby, too. And when the real baby came along, he became just The Dog. My baby (real) is now seven years old, and the dog’s still just The Dog.

  As for the Baby Whisperer, I totally recall being first annoyed, and then offended by her stupid pseudo-soothing schtick. I found E.A.S.Y to be a bunch of crap. Especially the “Y”part.

• 35. page  |  May 20th, 2009 at 11:27 pm

  The Dollar Tree carries those big-gulp looking convenience store-type cups. I know because after my WW 32 oz mug died a sad death, I bought them in bulk. Need me to send a stack?

• 36. JRM  |  May 20th, 2009 at 11:44 pm

  My dog has a similar obsession about dirty kleenex. So gross. Sometimes I toss her clean ones just to entertain her.

• 37. Summer  |  May 21st, 2009 at 12:08 am

  I totally went to the bathroom with my son attached to my boob ALL THE TIME. You are NOT alone. Everyone else seems obsessed with the dog, but I had to let you know haha.
  And sometimes he still sits on my lap.. He is 15. months that is 15 months haha

• 38. Meg  |  May 21st, 2009 at 6:37 am

  I grew up in a house full of dogs who ate my siblings’ diapers (and probably mine, though I don’t remember that). When we went to buy our diaper pail, I took all the models off the shelf and started hitting them over with great force. Any that came open were returned to the shelf. After several rounds, only the Safety First brand was still standing. The process also has the benefit of being very therapeutic. And the dog has only gotten it open once.

• 39. Shin Ae  |  May 21st, 2009 at 8:38 am

  When I had my second child, my first was two years old. Up until that point, I had never yelled at him, even once. Very patient was I. Unfortunately as soon as the baby arrived, the yelling began. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him as much, it was that he was (1) two years old and (2) faster, more persistent, more everything that I could really deal with at the time. We lived in the woods but near a busy road & he’d run off into the forest on the way to the car…how to chase him when I’m carrying an infant? With my voice was the only way I could think of. That sort of thing. Sooo…things were loud for a while. But I adjusted, and the yelling and impatience eventually (oh, after 4 years) stopped and we are all good again. He (first child) did seem so grown up as soon as the baby arrived, the others are right about that. I liked that aspect of things.

• 40. Misty  |  May 21st, 2009 at 9:40 am

  Ok. So the diaper thing is gross, granted. But you know what I can’t get over? How CLEAN your house and carpets are! You know, aside from the diaper fiasco.

  I don’t have a newborn and my house NEVER looks that good.

• 41. Crystal  |  May 21st, 2009 at 10:38 am

  After watching that video, SO GLAD I DON’T HAVE DOGS. Eck.

• 42. Maggy  |  May 21st, 2009 at 5:31 pm

  I’m so glad my dog is not the only one who eats the crotches out of underwear. It’s never the old, ratty underwear that really needs to be thrown out; no, it’s the cute, new underwear. My four year old had a stomach bug the other day. He came to tell me there was poop on the kitchen floor. “Doggies ate some of it.” Yeah, kid, they do that.
  I thought for sure that my little boy’s first word would be the dog’s name (because I yelled it so much). It was “kitty.” We don’t have a cat.
  How is your house so clean?

• 43. Jo Anna  |  May 21st, 2009 at 6:51 pm

  hilarious.

  i mean, not, but yeah.

• 44. Anyabeth  |  May 21st, 2009 at 10:58 pm

  1. Of course I’ve been while nursing a baby in the middle of the night–it was that or pee into one of her diapers.

  2. I’ve never met anyone who had great luck with the Baby Whisperer (now humming Dead or Alive–I’m a bad person). I think most of those books just exist to tell you how you have already doomed your precious snowflake already anyway.

  3. If it helps, I stopped being irritated with my dogs a littler earlier than the other commenters. I think because they are small (one is a pug even) and they loved her so much. Now I just get annoyed that she keeps feeding them all day long.

• 45. clickmom  |  May 23rd, 2009 at 6:52 am

  LMAO! I had a shepherd mix that LOOOOved the diapers! And he was my baby until I had an actual baby and then he was (who cares it’s just) THE DOG.

  I had the same fears when having #2 but rest easy there, jonniker, when #2 rolls around you will be just as shocked and amazed with your overwhelming yet somehow completely different love for him/her. And it is good!

  But THE DOG? By the time #2 rolls around, you just might find yourself trying to figure out why you ever had a dog in the first place.

• 46. Sarah  |  May 24th, 2009 at 9:53 pm

  Maybe she’s like a bear and you have to *hang* the diapers so she can’t eat them? She’s short enough that I’m guessing if the dirty diaper bag were about 3 feet off the ground she’d be plum out of luck. I use a polyuerethane laminate (PUL) bag for my diaper pail. It’s washable, works great and would definitely be hangable!

• 47. Mauigirl  |  May 24th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

  I can sympathize. Our dog’s favorite thing is to get into the cat box and eat the “tootsie rolls.” Ugh. It isn’t quite as messy in terms of carpet damage, since she consumes them entirely – but the grossness! The utter grossness of it all! That’s what gets to me.

• 48. Corinne  |  May 27th, 2009 at 12:28 pm

  I feel really guilty about it, too, but I’ll just come out and say it (don’t yell at me! just DON’T) I don’t have any time at all for the cat anymore. I just can’t be bothered. I don’t know what happened, and I ponder it quite a bit, but there it is. Just isn’t there anymore.
  And no, it’s not like that with the 2nd kid, although I did have several months (!) of wondering when the love would kick in like I had for the first. But it eventually did, I don’t know when, and it’s ok. No, better than ok, it’s awesome.

• 49. Kerri Anne  |  May 27th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

  The things Iggy will find joy in eating never cease to amaze (and disgust) me. If he had his way I’m pretty sure he would lick my feet for hours, but only IF they’ve recently been encased in sweaty running shoes.

• 50. Shea  |  June 1st, 2009 at 11:24 am

  Are your reading Anne Nahm (http://annenahm.com/). She is going through it with you right now. She perfectly descibes my first child. My 12 week old has acid reflux without the colic. There is a distinct difference. My thoughts are with you.

• 51. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy  |  June 8th, 2009 at 1:57 am

  I love 32 oz drinks. I’m (sadly) pumped as hell that McDonalds has them for just $1 during the summer. How good is a 32 oz McDonalds coke in the early morning. ‘Tis bliss.

• 52. SampsonCASSANDRA19  |  March 29th, 2010 at 3:54 am

  When you’re in a not good position and have got no cash to get out from that point, you would have to take the personal loans. Just because that will help you definitely. I take commercial loan every year and feel myself good because of this.

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