Giving up titles at this point, because, seriously.
OH THAT’S RIGHT I HAVE A BLOG.
God, clearly this writing daily, or even three times weekly thing is not working. Perhaps it’s because I’m not sleeping. PERHAPS. We’ve begun Operation Get Sam Off of Mom’s Chest, and it’s … well, it’s fine, honestly, it just highlighted a problem that was already there, which is that she gets up constantly, and has never slept more than two and a half hours at a time, save for rare, one-off occasions totaling three (3) times. Not in three months. To those of you keeping score, this means that *I* have not slept more than two hours at a time in three months, and it’s about as painful as it sounds. In fact, as I type it out, I am trying not to cry, because it’s CRAZY MAKING. CRAZY MAKING.
We’ve had little success getting Sam to take a bottle, which means it’s all me, all the time and HOO BOY, if you imagined that things were bordering on bleak around these parts for a little while, you sure were dead on the money, my friends. I mean, Adam tries to help where he can, which at this point is literally limited to plucking her from her crib in the middle of the night and helplessly passing her to me. But, you know, at least I don’t have to become vertical for any length of time, although it explains why every time someone says, “It’s [my husband's] night to get up with the baby!” I AM FILLED WITH IRRATIONAL RAGE, and also tempted to dope Adam up with some lactation-inducing drugs just to see what happens. After all, the guy’s got nipples. I see no reason why we can’t make this work.
[Edited to add: not because he wouldn't get up with the baby at night -- he would, for he's a night owl and could easily, and I mean EASILY, handle the shifts up to 2 or 3 a.m. It's just that she doesn't take a bottle, so what's the point? HE CAN DO NOTHING.]
ANYWAY. The solution we’ve enacted isn’t really a solution, but rather, I just sleep with her at my side, pretty much attached to my boob all night (IN A SAFE CO-SLEEPING ENVIRONMENT OMG). Because YOU try getting up every hour (no, really. Every hour. You think I’m kidding, but OH I AM NOT) and applying the alternate soothing method, which is to re-swaddle her ass and bring her into the bathroom while running water from the sink at full bore. For now. Beyond that, we’re going to figure it out, but, and I know this isn’t popular, and I don’t mean this in a crazy-ass sanctimonious way, but I don’t have it in me to sleep-train in the, uh, cry-it-out sense, for a variety of personal reasons. So, we’re going with Pantley, but not until four months. Until then … pray for us.
So! That’s where we’re at! We’re not sleeping! And losing our crazy-ass minds! And … well.
OH LOOK. THE BABY’S UP AGAIN. GOTTA RUN. And I had so much more thrilling things to report! A broken washing machine! Locking ourselves out of the condo with the baby! HIJINKS!
43 comments June 14th, 2009