My List
July 7th, 2009
So, as it turns out, people weren’t lying to me, and four months was the major turning point when my baby became not just a baby, but pure magic. I’ll admit it, folks, I didn’t believe you. Sorry about that, but it’s hard to, when NO ONE YOU KNOW has had a kid who screamed like yours did, and you end up assuming that exactly how it is RIGHT NOW is how it’s going to be forever, even though logically that makes no sense, no sense at all. I mean, I don’t know many 15-year-olds who wander the halls of high school screaming incoherently, then pass out cold on the floor while swaddled in a Kiddopotamus product.
Anyway, it wasn’t forever, and now, she is so much fun I almost can’t wait for the day to begin. The laughing! The roly-poly thighs that demand to be eaten! The giggling while she’s being kissed! She loves it when her daddy talks business, and there’s nothing funnier than watching her giggle wildly while he recounts a meeting at work in a Very Serious Tone. The second he starts to pay attention to her and talk to her in Baby Voice, she loses interest and gets frustrated. The kid’s going to be a sucker for the Very Long Board Meeting, I can tell.
Of course, all this joy means that I want another baby now now now. Is now good for you? Okay then. NOW. And thank Jesus for things like LOGIC and ADAM and oh yes, BREASTFEEDING IMPEDING MY FERTILITY, because I realize that another baby right, um, now, is pretty much the stupidest idea in the world. This is why I tend to put on weight, my friends. One cupcake is never enough. I need the whole DOZEN in order to be satisfied, and even then, I’ll go on a cupcake BENDER and make cupcakes every day until I never want to see another cupcake again. Something tells me it’s a bad idea to repeat this pattern with children. Not that I’m giving up on more, because oh no, there will be more. Just not, you know, six dozen.
Onward! Things could not be less thrilling over here, what with the constant baby-wrangling and playgroup-attending and I am embarrassed at the mundane nature of my life right now, but boy howdy, am I ever happy. I’ve made comments before about how little of my old life I miss, and that I don’t sit around wistfully thinking of Things I Should Have Appreciated, but there ARE a few things I think about occasionally that I’d almost forgotten about, but will surely recapture some day:
- Reading. I haven’t read more than five pages of a non-baby-related book in months. The last book I read cover to cover was the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and while informative, it wasn’t exactly thrilling, unless you count learning more about your child’s sleep habits to be up there with Sookie Stackhouse.
- Cooking. I’ve made eggs. And re-heated things. Oh, and made tuna salad for sandwiches. Miss miss miss cooking, like a whole lot. Also miss eating non-reheated things desperately.
- Cleaning. No, really. My standards have dropped, and though I still clean the toilets, I cannot believe how FAST I clean them, which leaves me wondering if I’m getting all the important bits, or if we continue to sit on Lingering Pee Molecules. See also: showering. Also, fun fact: my kid likes me less when I’m showered. Apparently I smell more mom-like when I’m at my dirtiest.
- A Caribbean and/or Mediterranean vacation. I’ve had a vacation fund going for a while now, and normally it’s the kind of thing I’d be all excited about, because we could finally get back to turquoise water-lounging, napping and beach reading. Excuse me while I go laugh until I pee myself. Because riiiiight. I’m thinking that’s a more appropriate goal for, say, 2035.
- Writing. God bless you for reading this and/or anything I cobble together, because my skillz are RUSTY. Not to mention I don’t have time to edit for shit, so I’ve sent more illiterate e-mails than not lately. The novel I started? HA HA. So on hold right now.
Oddly, sleep is not on this list. Why? Because, and I don’t even want to say this out loud, but co-sleeping has, for the moment, solved all of my problems. I’m not WELL RESTED, per se, but I am functional enough to be happy, and here’s a dirty little first-kid joy I’ll tell you about: for her morning nap, I have started to simply bring her back to bed with me, where we sleep together for a good two hours and sometimes, as a result, we don’t get up for the day until 10:30. She would NEVER sleep that long on her own, but frankly — and this is where people tell me I’m screwing up — I DO NOT CARE. I’m still in guerrilla mode, where I obtain sleep by any means necessary and besides, it’s SO snuggly and nice.
People warned me not to do a lot of things that have already worked themselves out with a little help from mama, and I know sleeping will, too. Yes, yes, it will be hard, and yes, she’ll probably sleep in our bed longer than most people would like, but you know, in the blink of an eye, she’s going to be sixteen and telling me she hates me just before slamming the door in my face because I wouldn’t buy her the sweatpants that say “Juicy” on the ass. And since I only have one kid and can get away with making such grievous errors, as no one else is clamoring for my attention, I’m going to go ahead and do so with pleasure.
I mean, if this was your kid, wouldn’t you?
Yes, yes, she’s losing her hair. Yes, it’s sad. But also kind of a little bit funny, as she rocks her half-bald look.
Happy Wednesday!
*The Killers.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
36 Comments Add your own
1. slynnro | July 7th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Presh, presh, presh.
You and the kid.
2. Camels & Chocolate | July 7th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Welcome back! She’s adorable.
3. Nothing But Bonfires | July 7th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Oh god, if that were my kid, she could sleep in my bed until she WAS sixteen, even doing so while wearing the sweatpants with JUICY on the ass. She is GORGEOUS, Jonna — I want to reach through the computer and cuddle her. Tell her Auntie Holly will buy her a pony when she’s old enough. Or, you know, ten ponies.
4. Arwen | July 7th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Ah, nap co-sleeping. Loved it with my first; still trying desperately to make it possible now that I have two.
You already know this, but ignore the ppl who tell you you’re screwing up the sleep thing. We co-slept big-time with our screamy daughter and yes, nightweaning later was hard. But I don’t regret a single moment of co-sleeping cuddle time. Only thing I’d change is the energy I wasted fretting about it.
You will do what works for you, and it will be the best thing for you. Amen.
5. Hilary | July 7th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
That is the one thing that’s easier about having a second kid — you actually understand that everything is temporary, and that all annoying habits or routines will melt away with time. In the first few sleep-deprived months with my first I really thought, deep down, that it would never get better. And that is exhausting. And scary. Glad you got through to the other side. It just gets better.
(PS I went to Midd, and am totally jealous of the amazing scenery you get to see every day.)
6. She Likes Purple | July 7th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Enjoy the cosleeping. I tried pretty hard to get Kyle to sleep in his crib and now when I’d just like to snuggle a little with him or take a catnap with together, he’ll have none of it. And it kills me a bit. I wish I had just chilled some and enjoyed the snuggling more.
7. The New Girl | July 8th, 2009 at 5:46 am
OH! THOSE CHEEEEEEEEEEEKS!!
You know what? I love, Love, LOVE your list. Well, not that you’re not getting to do lots of things that you used to but that you are so HAPPY and that Sam is so NICE to you guys now.
And? There may come a (crazy) time when your kid might like you better showered. lol. My kid is MESMERIZED by my made-up face and blown-out hair. She smiles in wonder and runs her little hand down the length of my hair and says, ‘Mommy got a SHOWER?’
Like, I didn’t know MOMMIES shower. omfg. She’s, you know, TWO.
8. Style Bard | July 8th, 2009 at 7:00 am
She’s just so gorgeous! Sorry, had to say it again. The cheeks stay just as edible, but the older she gets I think you really start capturing the expression and radiance of her eyes. They may steal the show from the cheeks!
9. Mymsie | July 8th, 2009 at 8:12 am
She is a doll! Congrats
10. Ali | July 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am
You made it through COLIC! Yay yay yay!!!
Congratulations, seriously. I’m so glad you can now focus on the fun stuff and put that behind you.
11. Lesha | July 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I think the best thing I read in the No Cry book was that it’s only a problem if YOU (and your husband) think it’s a problem. Just because anyone else tells you whatever it is that your doing is a sleep problem, if your happy with the ways things are, then it’s not a problem. After I read that over a few times, I took a deep breath and then just enjoyed my co-sleeping cuddle time. And I still am, with my 2 year old, he’s a great snuggler and when he’s with his dad I miss having his head all bunched up in my neck.
She is beautiful! Enjoy.
12. Lippy | July 8th, 2009 at 8:43 am
You have such a great attitude. I wish I had been able to see things as clearly as you do with my first. I think I was in a panic for the first year. Now the motto with our third is whatever gets us through the day.
13. calliope | July 8th, 2009 at 8:47 am
she is sooooooo cute!
your posts always crack me up.
14. Jinxy | July 8th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I co-sleep with my daughter. She’s 6.5 months old and I love it and don’t care what anyone says about it. I mean hey I get a pretty good nights sleep and the snuggling is amazing.
You are right 16 will be here all too soon, I’m getting all the kisses, lovin and cuddling in that I can now.
15. Jess | July 8th, 2009 at 9:29 am
PLEASE tell me that those stupid juicy sweatpants will NOT still be popular sixteen years from now. PLEASE.
16. Jen | July 8th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Our baby is just a week younger than Sam, and I can’t tell you the last time our toilets were really and truly scrubbed clean.
I completely agree about the four month magic time – sometimes at night my husband and I will be talking about all the little things she did during the day and we’ll want to go and wake her up to play with her some more! We stop ourselves, of course.
17. Anyabeth | July 8th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Oh the CHEEKS!
Anyone who thinks you are messing up your sleep can suck it. You should be in guerilla mode for now, you can worry about that crap in a couple of months once everything is settled.
Besides, the dirty little secret is that no matter what you were doing some one would be telling you about how you have RUINED YOUR LIVES. Might as well ruin your lives in a way that works for you.
18. Sarah | July 8th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Reading? What is this reading you speak of? Surely you must mean blogs/twitter/the mail, right?
I haven’t read an actual book since Elliott was born nearly two years ago. Books on tape while nursing or working have been a nice respite, though.
Also, despite all my worrying and “work”, Elliott decided when he was ready to sleep through the night and stop co-sleeping. Looking back, we really had nothing to do with it. So just keep on following her lead and I think you guys will be more than fine. I’m so happy she’s emerged from the “fourth trimester”!
19. Adrienne | July 8th, 2009 at 11:07 am
We still co-sleep with our almost 3 year old. Now, I realize that would not work for everyone. But it works for us. He naps by himself in our bed just fine and many nights I can put him in our bed at his normal bedtime and he’ll go to sleep by himself.
I bought the book “Good Nights” to help me shore up my defense for choosing to co-sleep. But I think the proof is in my little puddin’ pop. He’s an outgoing, friendly, well-adjusted little dude who is the light of our lives. Enjoy this time with your babe – you’re right – it flies by.
20. sparklytosingle | July 8th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Cutest picture I’ve seen of her so far! Adorable
I’m glad all is working out so well for you finally.
21. Christine | July 8th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
OH man she is cute, semibalding and all. I wonder if it will come back in lighter? So cute with the chubster arms. Num. As far as the parenting advice, feh, do whatever works for you.
22. MaybeMBA | July 8th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I fought the co-sleeping for 6 months. We spent hour after hour trying ot coax my son into sleeping in his little bed next to hours before relenting around 2 a.m. and letting him snuggle up with us where he felt into a prompt blissful sleep, sleeping as long as I stayed in bed! Finally we ditched the little bed and did co-sleeping all out. Only way I could have survived life with new babe. At one year, tired of waking to a baby toes in our faces, (otherwise loved the snuggling) we bought him his own crib and he soon loved it. Babies were meant to be cuddled. Enjoy!!
(With #2 who is now 2.5 mo’s I was all prepared to co-sleep from the beginning but she didn’t mind sleeping in her little bed at all. In fact, she falls asleep on her own. Unbelievable! I thought that was a myth.)
Anyhoo, point being a woman needs her rest! Happy moms => happy babies.
23. Kristin | July 8th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
The one thing I have learned after having a child is that every kid is different and every family has to figure out what is going to work best for them. I don’t think I had particularly strong feelings either way toward cosleeping before I had my son, and I really don’t now either. It was not something that worked for us, but I could care less if someone else does it. Whatever gets YOU the most sleep is the way to go.
I’m so glad that you’re enjoying this age. I think the 3 to 9 month range is the sweetest time ever for a baby. The horribleness of the first three months are over, and the challenges that start with real mobility and learning they have a mind of their own are yet to come. They are just snuggly and happy and fun to be around. I felt like I was in love. I’m going to work really hard to remember this happens, as I am due in 2 weeks and trying to mentally prepare for the trauma that is newborn screaming.
24. Kristin H | July 8th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Your morning nap sounds lovely. Really, really lovely.
25. Katy | July 8th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Just wanted to say word on the co-sleeping in the morning thing. I did that all the time with my daughter when she was around that age (at ten months she no longer does that sigh). We had no real problems transitioning to a crib no matter what some people might say:) and even now I will sleep with her a little bit in the middle of the night if needed and transition her to the pack and play in our room. So glad you are having a much less rough time! Enjoy that cutie pie:)
26. samantha jo campen | July 8th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
I’m so happy you’re happy! And in the NCSS book she says if you’re OKAY with the co-sleeping then that’s great! She’s for it too! It’s just if you’re not down with it then there are ways to fix it.
Keep on keepin’ on sister!
27. Andrea | July 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Our babies sound so similar and co sleeping was our big magical solution too. Ben cried and fussed and cried and fuss and then he turned five months old and things got better. I found that the more he could do for himself the happier he was.
28. Magnolia | July 8th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Co-sleeping was a god send with my first one..and my second one sometimes I still sneak a sweaty nap with him, all wrapped up and snuggled together and feeling warm and blissed out.
I’m glad it’s getting easier
29. Jill | July 9th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
When our daughter was Sam’s age, we co-slept also. Naps and nighttime. And while I understand every child is different, she is now 13 months old, and sleeps in her crib like an angel. So, co-sleeping doesn’t necessarily mean rough transitions
.
30. giggle with god | Flying &hellip | July 10th, 2009 at 11:16 am
[...] My ListSo, as it turns out, people weren’t lying to me, and four months was the major turning point when my baby became not just a baby, but pure magic. I’ll admit it, folks, I didn’t believe you. Sorry about that, but it’s hard to, when NO ONE YOU KNOW has had a kid who screamed like yours did, and you end up assuming that exactly how it is RIGHT NOW is how it’s going to be forever, even though logically that makes no sense, no sense at all. I mean, I don’t know many 15-year-olds who wander the halls [...]
31. Margie | July 10th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Me Too! My baby was born in April, and whenever I have the chance I snuggle up next to her for naps and do all kinds of things They say I shouldn’t, but I just keep imagining that very soon I won’t be able to catch her to hug her, let alone sleep all cuddled up together, so goshdarnit we are going to snuggle and I am going to love up every second of it! I seriously cannot imagine that loving my sweet baby girl in this way can really do harm. Because, as you alluded to, I may want to hug her all the time, but she still is NOT allowed to buy the sweatpants with Juicy on the butt. There’s well-loved, and then there’s spoiled. Glad to know you do it too! And your fabulous other reader comments make me feel good about my choice too. Oh, and I’m a little behind you – can’t WAIT for the giggles!
32. Kristabella | July 13th, 2009 at 10:58 am
See, now I know how you dealt with the screaming. THOSE CHEEKS! SO ADORABLE!
33. Jessica | July 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 am
My daughter will be 3 in September and we still co-sleep. I don’t sleep as soundly as I would if she slept in her own bed, but I’m not complaining. People still judge (ie, my mother-in-law) but I don’t care. As long as it’s beneficial to both my child and my husband, she will continue to stay in my bed. I agree that soon enough she’ll be telling me to STFU so I’m going to snuggle as long as I can.
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36. Buy an Essay | April 11th, 2011 at 12:24 am
It’s a little late, and others have said it too… But cute kid! It’s been about three years, so I’m sure a lot has changed and they’re an even bigger handful now than ever before!
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