People Are People

Yo yo yo. So it seems I upset at least one of you, but more likely many more, given the one comment, two brief e-mails and a couple of unsubscribes, which I take that there are plenty more who didn’t say anything who are upset, because of that whole two percent thing. Look, I KNOW my words were harsh, and I don’t mean to be a dick, but I just … I think this is one of those things we’re going to look back on and think, wow, that was a mistake, and I can’t believe it was ever like that at all. Kind of like how we wouldn’t let interracial marriages fly in our (very recent) history, for reasons that sound very similar to the arguments made against gay marriage today.

And really, would it have been cool to say that interracial couples can JOIN UP in some sort of nondescript, totally separate way from the rest of the world, but they can’t be MARRIED? Yeah, um, no. Not to me.

Random aside: my name is Jonna, not Jennifer. At least one of you is confused about that, and it’s not the first time, so there you go. Jonna.

I rarely really make THAT strong of a stand on anything here, and can tolerate almost anything. Really! Almost anything! I even COMPLETELY understand why people are pro-life, and I’m as pro-choice as they come! And I have some weird opinions that I expect other people to tolerate, like my ridiculously conservative views on gun ownership (me and Charlton Heston are LIKETHIS on this issue, and probably would have been BFFs, back when he was a donkey or, you know, um, alive) I know! How WEIRD, right? I wouldn’t have guessed it of me either! And I know people think I’m CRAZYPANTS for that viewpoint, and I get that, too. Although no, we don’t keep guns in our home, mom friends who read this.

(Edited to add: you guys, I said this in comments, but I TOTALLY EXPECTED everyone to disagree about guns. And I’m TOTALLY COOL with it, as I would hope you would be of my views. This is one thing I absolutely see both sides of, and I don’t think anyone who chose the other is nuts, BY ANY STRETCH. I just have a different take on it. Again, totally cool. Like I said, guns aren’t people.)

(Unless you prefer Bill over Eric on True Blood, in which case, we will never see eye to eye. Sorry.)

But, I think that the gay marriage vs. civil union thing is equivalent to “separate but equal.” However, and seemingly incongruously, I am all for churches being able to opt out, if it’s against their teachings, and I liked that New Hampshire put that into their law. No, I don’t think the Catholic church needs to be sued because they won’t marry two men — they’re not REMOTELY there yet — and the NH law protects them from that. Besides, churches have always had the right to decide who they want to marry, to some extent, and there are many churches that wouldn’t marry Adam and me, for a variety of reasons, most of which are probably valid in their eyes. I mean, we’re not Catholic and we do all kinds of things that violate their rules, so why should they? And I’m fine with that.

Beyond that, though, for me equal rights for everyone are one of those things that transcend politics or religion and, well, right is right. Or in this case, usually leaning to the left. Or whatever. But it’s just right, and I believe that to believe otherwise is wrong.

Because look, no matter what your religion, the situation is this: as long as the GOVERNMENT is going to recognize marriage as its own institution — which is outside of religion, what with that whole separation of church and state thing, ahem — then everyone should be allowed to marry, especially given that the primary objections to such a thing are religious. If you want to exclude that in your particular religion or church, that is your right. See also: church and state. I’m not going to think you’re the coolest person in the world about this particular issue, and yes, I’m going to think you have more than a little a bit of prejudice bubbling JUUUUUUST beneath the surface, no matter what you say. (And this is why I do not belong to a church, although I like many churches.) (And yes, I think it counts as bigotry, and I think some religious institutions are totally guilty of it all the time, and not just on this issue.)

But no, the government shouldn’t put limits on it, as it violates ye olde church and state separation thing that is, in my mind, the most important piece of our government in so many ways.

And I think, for the record, that a lot of politicians, Mr. Obama included, say they are against gay marriage in favor of civil unions for political reasons. No one likes to admit it, but everyone knows it would be political suicide to say otherwise. Sad.

So there you have it. The cleaner, nicer version of my particular position that isn’t asking anyone to fuck themselves unless they want to.

So! *claps hands* More dashes! Of the benign, non-political sort!

– We are in teething hell. My God, you guys, it’s unbelievable. One minute, she’s laughing and smiling while I, um, gently slap her little tushie between diaper changes (she LOVES it) and two seconds later, she’s screaming like someone is stabbing her directly in the face. Awesome. My shower was abruptly aborted by her ear-piercing screams and I was forced to face the fear that Emily and I have discussed, which is that I had to tend to my child while completely naked. And, you know, wet. And though I regularly feed her with my boobs, it was shockingly awkward.

– Relatedly, washing your hair and frantically rinsing off the important bits does not count as a shower. In fact, it’s worse than not showering at all. I feel just clean enough to know exactly which parts of me are still dirty. GEE-ROSS.

– A few weeks ago, we had our first taste of how having a baby sort of limits you. We led remarkably boring lives pre-Sam, and thus, she really doesn’t cramp our style all that much. But dude, the Roots were playing in Burlington a couple of weeks ago, and though there were tickets available, we didn’t find out until that morning and … well. You know. Baby doesn’t need to be jammin’ out to Essaywhuman?!!!??! at midnight, and a babysitter wasn’t happening. (Am not remotely there yet. REMOTELY.) And it was WEIRD. Like it was the first time it occurred to us that we really were tethered to our house. We were fine with it, but it was still … odd.

– So! Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo broke up. Which, you know, no one cares, but it’s HILARIOUS that People has a photographic RETROSPECTIVE on the couple, as though they were Charles and Diana. Really, People. Really?

– I have a Butter Thing. Butter butter butter. Butter is my favorite thing in the entire world, and I’m not kidding. I can resist almost anything but butter. BUTTER. OH MY GOD BUTTER. Ergo, I am a bit of a butter snob and further, I recently took it upon myself to go on a bit of a world butter tour, trying every high-end butter I could get my hands on. And, as I recently Tweeted, the world’s best butter is Vermont Butter & Cheese cultured butter. Creamy and silky, with just the right amount of salt. Go forth and spread. Um, the butter, that is.

– We’re preparing for an upcoming vacation, part of which will be with my parents, and part of which will be us alone in my parents’ cabin on the lake. And you know, as Diane recently noted, vacations for moms are … the same as being at home, but with more obstacles. Adam keeps making reference to relaxation and really, I don’t even know what to say. In fairness, hanging with Sam and me IS relaxation to him, but you know, it’s not like I’m going to have all this FREE TIME with which to explore the collected works of Voltaire. I’m also thinking that a rustic-type get-away-from-it-all lakeside cabin is going to lose a shitton of its luster with my kid in tow. For chrissake, there isn’t even any CABLE.

Happy Thursday!

*Depeche Mode. HOW TRITE OF ME RIGHT? I couldn’t resist.

73 comments July 15th, 2009