People Are People
July 15th, 2009
Yo yo yo. So it seems I upset at least one of you, but more likely many more, given the one comment, two brief e-mails and a couple of unsubscribes, which I take that there are plenty more who didn’t say anything who are upset, because of that whole two percent thing. Look, I KNOW my words were harsh, and I don’t mean to be a dick, but I just … I think this is one of those things we’re going to look back on and think, wow, that was a mistake, and I can’t believe it was ever like that at all. Kind of like how we wouldn’t let interracial marriages fly in our (very recent) history, for reasons that sound very similar to the arguments made against gay marriage today.
And really, would it have been cool to say that interracial couples can JOIN UP in some sort of nondescript, totally separate way from the rest of the world, but they can’t be MARRIED? Yeah, um, no. Not to me.
Random aside: my name is Jonna, not Jennifer. At least one of you is confused about that, and it’s not the first time, so there you go. Jonna.
I rarely really make THAT strong of a stand on anything here, and can tolerate almost anything. Really! Almost anything! I even COMPLETELY understand why people are pro-life, and I’m as pro-choice as they come! And I have some weird opinions that I expect other people to tolerate, like my ridiculously conservative views on gun ownership (me and Charlton Heston are LIKETHIS on this issue, and probably would have been BFFs, back when he was a donkey or, you know, um, alive) I know! How WEIRD, right? I wouldn’t have guessed it of me either! And I know people think I’m CRAZYPANTS for that viewpoint, and I get that, too. Although no, we don’t keep guns in our home, mom friends who read this.
(Edited to add: you guys, I said this in comments, but I TOTALLY EXPECTED everyone to disagree about guns. And I’m TOTALLY COOL with it, as I would hope you would be of my views. This is one thing I absolutely see both sides of, and I don’t think anyone who chose the other is nuts, BY ANY STRETCH. I just have a different take on it. Again, totally cool. Like I said, guns aren’t people.)
(Unless you prefer Bill over Eric on True Blood, in which case, we will never see eye to eye. Sorry.)
But, I think that the gay marriage vs. civil union thing is equivalent to “separate but equal.” However, and seemingly incongruously, I am all for churches being able to opt out, if it’s against their teachings, and I liked that New Hampshire put that into their law. No, I don’t think the Catholic church needs to be sued because they won’t marry two men — they’re not REMOTELY there yet — and the NH law protects them from that. Besides, churches have always had the right to decide who they want to marry, to some extent, and there are many churches that wouldn’t marry Adam and me, for a variety of reasons, most of which are probably valid in their eyes. I mean, we’re not Catholic and we do all kinds of things that violate their rules, so why should they? And I’m fine with that.
Beyond that, though, for me equal rights for everyone are one of those things that transcend politics or religion and, well, right is right. Or in this case, usually leaning to the left. Or whatever. But it’s just right, and I believe that to believe otherwise is wrong.
Because look, no matter what your religion, the situation is this: as long as the GOVERNMENT is going to recognize marriage as its own institution — which is outside of religion, what with that whole separation of church and state thing, ahem — then everyone should be allowed to marry, especially given that the primary objections to such a thing are religious. If you want to exclude that in your particular religion or church, that is your right. See also: church and state. I’m not going to think you’re the coolest person in the world about this particular issue, and yes, I’m going to think you have more than a little a bit of prejudice bubbling JUUUUUUST beneath the surface, no matter what you say. (And this is why I do not belong to a church, although I like many churches.) (And yes, I think it counts as bigotry, and I think some religious institutions are totally guilty of it all the time, and not just on this issue.)
But no, the government shouldn’t put limits on it, as it violates ye olde church and state separation thing that is, in my mind, the most important piece of our government in so many ways.
And I think, for the record, that a lot of politicians, Mr. Obama included, say they are against gay marriage in favor of civil unions for political reasons. No one likes to admit it, but everyone knows it would be political suicide to say otherwise. Sad.
So there you have it. The cleaner, nicer version of my particular position that isn’t asking anyone to fuck themselves unless they want to.
So! *claps hands* More dashes! Of the benign, non-political sort!
– We are in teething hell. My God, you guys, it’s unbelievable. One minute, she’s laughing and smiling while I, um, gently slap her little tushie between diaper changes (she LOVES it) and two seconds later, she’s screaming like someone is stabbing her directly in the face. Awesome. My shower was abruptly aborted by her ear-piercing screams and I was forced to face the fear that Emily and I have discussed, which is that I had to tend to my child while completely naked. And, you know, wet. And though I regularly feed her with my boobs, it was shockingly awkward.
– Relatedly, washing your hair and frantically rinsing off the important bits does not count as a shower. In fact, it’s worse than not showering at all. I feel just clean enough to know exactly which parts of me are still dirty. GEE-ROSS.
– A few weeks ago, we had our first taste of how having a baby sort of limits you. We led remarkably boring lives pre-Sam, and thus, she really doesn’t cramp our style all that much. But dude, the Roots were playing in Burlington a couple of weeks ago, and though there were tickets available, we didn’t find out until that morning and … well. You know. Baby doesn’t need to be jammin’ out to Essaywhuman?!!!??! at midnight, and a babysitter wasn’t happening. (Am not remotely there yet. REMOTELY.) And it was WEIRD. Like it was the first time it occurred to us that we really were tethered to our house. We were fine with it, but it was still … odd.
– So! Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo broke up. Which, you know, no one cares, but it’s HILARIOUS that People has a photographic RETROSPECTIVE on the couple, as though they were Charles and Diana. Really, People. Really?
– I have a Butter Thing. Butter butter butter. Butter is my favorite thing in the entire world, and I’m not kidding. I can resist almost anything but butter. BUTTER. OH MY GOD BUTTER. Ergo, I am a bit of a butter snob and further, I recently took it upon myself to go on a bit of a world butter tour, trying every high-end butter I could get my hands on. And, as I recently Tweeted, the world’s best butter is Vermont Butter & Cheese cultured butter. Creamy and silky, with just the right amount of salt. Go forth and spread. Um, the butter, that is.
– We’re preparing for an upcoming vacation, part of which will be with my parents, and part of which will be us alone in my parents’ cabin on the lake. And you know, as Diane recently noted, vacations for moms are … the same as being at home, but with more obstacles. Adam keeps making reference to relaxation and really, I don’t even know what to say. In fairness, hanging with Sam and me IS relaxation to him, but you know, it’s not like I’m going to have all this FREE TIME with which to explore the collected works of Voltaire. I’m also thinking that a rustic-type get-away-from-it-all lakeside cabin is going to lose a shitton of its luster with my kid in tow. For chrissake, there isn’t even any CABLE.
Happy Thursday!
*Depeche Mode. HOW TRITE OF ME RIGHT? I couldn’t resist.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
74 Comments Add your own
1. Pam | July 15th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Well, if you’re going to take a stand I’ll stand next to you. And we’ll probably have to make room for a whole lot more.
2. H | July 15th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
I wanted to comment on your last post but was always interrupted before I could get started. I rarely run into someone with whom I can completely agree on this subject, and lo, you are that someone. I’m sure there are friends of mine here who agree, but this is one of those polarizing subjects that rarely comes up in discussion – so I guess I really don’t know for sure how many of them feel. At any rate, I appreciate the thoughtful and respectful way you expressed your feelings. And…enjoy your vacation!
3. Amandam | July 15th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Re: your stance. Could not agree with you more. And the thing that I really don’t appreciate about the opposing POV on this issue is that it seems to almost *fetishize* actual marriage, like it’s some great, giant, amazing thing. I mean, seriously, it’s good, it’s fine, but come on – it’s also a lot of damn work. (Oh god, my poor husband…) Everyone should get to at least *try* it, for Pete’s sake.
At first pass, I thought someone had called you “Jonnifer.”
4. Jessica | July 15th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
My boyfriend’s family wants to go on vacation to their cabin in the mountains in August and I could not be less excited. Maybe vacationing with a child is fun but I have a baby and it’s just more work for me.
5. Stevie | July 16th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Dude. Eric. Those eyes. That attitude. Those lips. That VOICE. I just had an orgasm.
6. Amiable | July 16th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Word. On all of it.
7. Tara | July 16th, 2009 at 3:21 am
Hi, JONNA (see, I know it!),
I just wanted to say that I think it’s sad that people would unsubscribe because you expressed your opinion, to which you TOTALLY have the right to express on YOUR website. If those same people expressed their own opinions on their own websites they would expect respect. I don’t always agree with everything all of my favorite bloggers write, but I respect their right to an opinion about any topic, controversial or not. I adore your blog and get so excited when I see your updates on Google Reader. Thanks for being so real.
You’re Awesome!
Tara
PS I was sad about Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo, as a long-time Jessica Simpson fan, but I agree, the publicity stuff like this gets is ridiculous.
8. nicolien | July 16th, 2009 at 4:28 am
Could not agree more. (Except the guns.) (And Bill/Eric. Who are they?!?)
But otherwise: what Pam said. Make room, I’m standing next to both of you!
9. laura | July 16th, 2009 at 6:20 am
guess im one of those lurkers, but besides why would people even unsubscribe? hello um aren’t they reading you for YOUR thoughts! gosh people..on the cabin thing, we do alot of “camping” i call it but not really because it is in a cabin with the full set up anyways with a 3,2, 4 month it is still work but i just and force myself to be more chill. have fun and whatever you say i will be here reading
10. Angela | July 16th, 2009 at 6:54 am
I’m so glad there are people like you who understand it’s a constitutional issue.
Also, Vermont Butter & Cheese also makes the most AMAZING pepper chevre…and I don’t even like chevre.
11. Swistle | July 16th, 2009 at 6:56 am
I totally agree with you on every point. Separate but equal. Churches making their own decisions, but only for THEMSELVES, and how nice that the rest of us don’t have to follow those religious beliefs any more than the religious people have to follow ours. Butter being awesome. Etc.
12. kakaty | July 16th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Jesus Christ on a Cracker! I’m so happy I found your blog (through the wonders of Twitter) because yep, yep and yep! I’m with you 99% of the way. Can’t agree with you on the gun thing, but you are entitled to your opinion.
Good luck on the vacation. I think the better term is “trip” because until the kid is older you won’t have anything resembling a vacation.
13. kirida | July 16th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I’m nodding so much that my neck hurts. I’m with you, ,Jonna. And laughing at the naked body/tending to a child. I’ve done that so many times.
14. giselle | July 16th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I just love how people come on to righteously announce that they “will no longer read your blog.” As if that is the ultimate punishment. Oh, heavens…how will I go on if someone I don’t know and have never met in person and will never meet in person doesn’t continue reading my blog. Gee, whiz.
Sometimes we are just really full of ourselves…
15. She Likes Purple | July 16th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Yeah, you said it about as well as anyone can. God didn’t recognize my marriage, but I was still allowed to get married. Not cool that another couple (MADE UP OF HUMAN BEINGS) isn’t afforded the same right.
16. -R- | July 16th, 2009 at 8:30 am
I agree with you on the marriage issue, not on the gun issue, but that’s ok. To be honest, I would probably stop following someone who wrote a post about how gay people should not be allowed to get married.
I was flipping through the channels last night and saw part of the intro for the Real World (where they show their faces and names), and I think one of the people on Real World is named Jonna.
I had to jump out of the shower to take care of the baby once, and yes, it was very awkward for me. The baby didn’t seem to care.
The first few times we had a babysitter, she came over after the baby was already asleep, and we were only gone for an hour or two, so the babysitter never even actually did anything. You might try that when you’re feeling ready.
17. Christina | July 16th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Sorry did not go back to read the controversy but I agree with what you said about marriage vs. civil union. I think one day in the future my kids will look back at this odd debate and wonder why we had such odd odd laws about gay marriage (or I can hope that is the case) the same way we look back on the odd ball laws that are still on the books in some places.
I hear you on the teething hell, I am RIGHT THERE with you. 11 month old gettin FOUR big ole teeth, I previously just thought two but then WHOA FOUR. FRACK.
Hmmm Butter… I like cheese. There I said it. Sorry
18. jen | July 16th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I agree with you 100% on the gay marriage issue…right down to the fact that fine, churches can go ahead and be bigoted but the government should not be. Period. I just don’t understand how people can’t get to that conclusion. It is just so LOGICAL.
Anyway, it took me a while to leave C alone…the first time was at 6 weeks and we went to a soccer match and I cried and felt like I was having an anxiety attack and then it didn’t happen again for a while. Maybe around 8 months or so and I agree with -R- at first it was much easier to just leave after he was asleep. We are taking C on vacation in a couple of weeks and I can pretty much guarantee it will not feel like a vacation to me. Although there will be aunts and a gma and gpa to help out so that will be nice. Sounds like you will have extra help for part of the week?
19. Christine | July 16th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Jonna, I really expect a time where we will think back and say to ourselves, “what the hell were we doing with that gay marriage thing.” How could it not make sense that two consenting adults have the right to get married (under the law and not necessarily by a church)? But then again, I have a younger gay brother, gay friends a gay future-grandmother-in-law. So you know, I tend to be a little on the liberal side on gay and lesbian issues.
BUT! I’m with you on the gun ownership thing, although I do believe that there should be strict limits on who can buy a gun and a thorough screening along with strict penalties for those who would buy guns and resell them illegally. I was horrified at how easy it was to buy a gun in PA (as someone who has a legally owned gun in the house.) So easy!
20. Christine | July 16th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Oh! Also we used to get Amish butter from a CSA we were part of last year and YUM. That was some delicious butter. Best savored on bread, but our favorite thing to do was pop some popcorn (on the stove – no microwave) melt some butter and toss w/ copious amounts of Old Bay Seasoning. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.
21. Shelly | July 16th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Totally and 100% percent in agreement on gay marriage and also on guns! Surprised and pleased to hear that stance from you!
Also, butter – yum. And cheese. Quite possibly my two favorite foods.
22. Askew Adventures | July 16th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Jonna, you are AWESOME! I couldn’t agree with you more on the marraige issue. I just wanted to put my opinion out here as one more person agreeing with you and supporting you.
Also, I love reading your blog and twitter and every day you make me want a kid even more than I already did (which was pretty badly). You handle all the craziness with amazing grace and humor.
23. Carolyn | July 16th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I didn’t comment before, but want to now, just to say that I also think that our children will look back on this the same way we now view laws against interracial marriage. I am a Christian, and do go to church, and I am all for churches being protected and not prosecuted for their stance on the issue. (Like you mentioned, a Catholic church wouldn’t have married me either, and they shouldn’t worry about being sued for refusing to do so). But to say that the government should forbid gay marriage is an entirely different thing, and, I believe, something we will look back on later and deeply regret.
24. JMH | July 16th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Very good post. I wish more people would express their opinions in such an intelligent way. No matter what the topic is, I think people should be respectful of others opinions. No one wants to be told that they are wrong, stupid, ignorant, etc. no matter what their opinion happens to be. I try to look at the whole person and figure out WHY they think the way that they do…were they raised that way? Did something happen to them? Once I get to know a person better, I may have to “agree to disagree” with them. Yes, I will stand up for what I believe in, but I refuse to do it in a disrespectful manner. I will use my right to vote and I will raise my kids in the way that I choose, but I will NOT get into an arguement with someone who disagrees with me to try to change their opinion. I will listen to them and I hope they will really listen to me, but I can’t stand it when people yell at me and assume I am stupid simply because I don’t agree with them. I guess since I come from a VERY opinionated family, I have learned not to argue with people who think they are always right…it is just not worth the time.
Anyway, your daughter is gorgeous….good luck with the teething. I remember how hard that stage was
25. Nimble | July 16th, 2009 at 9:04 am
It never occurred to me that people would actually get their noses bent out of shape by your gay marriage opinions. Needless to say, I’m right there with you. Sing it sister.
And butter is gooood. But I had to have a trial separation after last winter. Too much butter love was not good for my shape.
26. Kristina | July 16th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Amen, sister. Amen.
27. clickmom | July 16th, 2009 at 9:14 am
I’m so embarrassed to be living in a world where gay marriage is such a hot bed issue. Let them get married and let’s focus on what is really important. Jeezus people! For goodness sakes.
28. jonniker | July 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
You guys, it’s TOTALLY COOL if you disagree with me on guns. I’m laughing, becaue dude, most people I know disagree and it is TOTALLY OKAY. Guns aren’t PEOPLE.
29. Jess | July 16th, 2009 at 9:30 am
I cannot get over how much I agree with you. I said the EXACT SAME THING when I posted about this (http://duwaxloolu.blogspot.com/2009/05/prop-8-decision-day.html). Seriously. EXACT. The only reasons to oppose gay marriage are based in religion, homophobia, or both. And those things have no place in our government. Full stop.
30. Kristin H | July 16th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Oh Jennifer, you crazy liberal-conservative. : )
When my kids were born, I had serious misgivings about the two guns my husband keeps. Until the day I realized that if someone came into my house and threatened my kids, I would absolutely want a gun at my side. So we locked them up all sorts of ways and let them stay.
31. Kristin | July 16th, 2009 at 10:14 am
I totally agree with you on pretty much every point in this post, including guns. I grew up in what is probably a truly Libertarian household where the thought that someone could bar you from doing something because they didn’t agree with it was a horrifying thought. As a result I am pro-choice, somewhat anti-gun control (I think some restrictions are necessary to protect people), strongly believe gay people should be able to marry, and am VERY pro-butter. Glad to know someone else feels the same!
Also, I think it’s fine that you offended some people and they choose to not read your blog anymore. It’s your blog and you can say whatever you want on it. I stopped reading two blogs last year during the election when I found out the writers were much more conservative than I had thought. I just wasn’t interested in reading their views every day, when they were so opposite of mine.
32. SwingCheese | July 16th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Must laugh. Am in full agreement on both gay-marriage and gun issues (am actually an NRA member, though we have no guns in the house). I just never thought I’d ever find anyone else with the same weird match-up of liberal/conservative
Also, I have done the jump out of the shower to comfort a child while wet and naked thing several times. It gets easier, but that first time…yeah…strange.
33. Sheila | July 16th, 2009 at 10:37 am
So I’m totally with you. I have always been completely confused with the whole gay marriage issue. Church and State are suppose to be separate (see: the first amendment). If the church wants to set up all kinds of rules about who can marry who, then fine. Whatever, that’s their deal. But the government should not be able to, because the government is not the church. I really just can’t understand how this is even a question.
They only thing I can’t agree with you on is the butter. I think butter is fine, as long as I can’t taste it.
34. Lawyerish | July 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I have to say, the gun thing is what I find most surprising about you. I think we discussed it before, and I was so surprised that we were on different sides of that issue. But! It obviously matters not in terms of our friendship. I mean, OBviously.
Of course I support gay marriage whole-heartedly. And, not for nothing, so does my church. (Go Episcopalians! Woo!) It is a discrimination issue, a human rights issue, and a constitutional separation of church and state issue. Also, I see zero — ZERO — merit to the claim that somehow allowing consenting adults of the same sex to marry affects the institution of marriage as a whole. Baffling.
Anyway. Preaching to the choir here.
ALSO, Chicago had really good butter. I could have bathed in the butter at NoMI, the restaurant in our hotel. MY GOD.
35. Suze | July 16th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Bravo, again. Gay marriage, butter, not the gun thing but I can get over it. And, the Real World girl’s name is spelled the same, but pronounced jah-NAY. I should be mortified that I even know that, that I am over the age of seventeen, and that I watched it last night.
36. Christine | July 16th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Dude, I only mentioned that I agreed on the guns, because I don’t think I know any other liberal person in my real day to day that does agree with me. It’s like this whole other universe exists now.
37. HollyLynne | July 16th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Agreed 100% on marriage rights. And on the fact that civil rights issues and political issues are in different categories entirely.
You’re also right on the Eric front
38. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com | July 16th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I can’t believe I missed the post on hermaphraditic engineering until TODAY! This baby better pop out soon because I am clearly missing out on all the good stuff in life.
Also, you know, no matter how much I love being pregnant, I have to admit that it would be FUCKING AWESOME to have my husband take a term. Dude, I’d knock him up right now if I could and we could just get them all out in record time.
39. Artemisia | July 16th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Jonna – I couldn’t agree with you more about gay marriage. But even if I didn’t, I would still read your writing.
I wish more people, and myself included, could civilly disagree and continue to be courteous, caring neighbors of each other. You know?
40. Carmen | July 16th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Jonna, I’m with you there on all points except the gun thing (I’m Canadian & we don’t really have that particular controversy swirling around up here). The thing I CANNOT wrap my mind around is the argument that some people trot out about how their marriage will be somehow less. Seriously? I can emphatically say that MY marriage is not impacted in ANY WAY by anyone else’s marriage – whether that other marriage be same-sex or otherwise. Argh. It all comes down to fear. People are afraid. I am awaiting the day that this craziness is looked upon the same way as women not being able to vote, i.e. totally ridiculous. (Wow, you do pick blog topics that make me rant and write the longest comments.)
41. Carmen | July 16th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
OH wait! I also wanted to say that vacations with babies are not actually vacation for the mom, as you say. But you said the are the same as being at home, but with obstacles. I’d say they’re even WORSE than being at home. First you have to deal with packing up your entire house full of baby stuff. And there’s way more work as you don’t have all the regular stuff to deal with the fussy kid PLUS the struggles of food (which isn’t a problem if you’re in a house but a hotel, hoo boy) (also not a problem if kid isn’t eating solid food yet, but if they are, bleh). And then AFTER the vacation, there’s 439857 loads of laundry. Honestly, sometimes I’d just rather stay home. Although: much of that is mitigated if said vacation is taken with grandparents. Fabulous baby-distractors, those grandparents!
42. Sam | July 16th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Gee, my thought from your last post was, “Wow. I like her even better now.” Shows you what I know.
PS I am pro-guns and pro-choice. Basically I just like killing everything HA HA HA.
43. Penny | July 16th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I agree with your stance, and your rationale, for the pro-gay/everyone should marry bit. Some things need to be said in no uncertain terms, so good for you. Even if not every single one of your viewers agrees.
44. Cobwebs | July 16th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I’m with you on both the marriage thing and the gun thing. As one of the other commenters said, I disagree with the idea of somebody being able to ban something just because they don’t like it.
Also, have you tried Irish butter?
45. Amy K | July 16th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Amen. One hundred years ago, women couldn’t vote in this country. Now we look back and shake our heads and think about how crazy that fact is. Gay marriage will be the same one day. I hope it happens sooner rather than later.
I don’t know about the gun thing, though. I’d feel a lot better if gun owners had to pass a very extensive safety/training course before being handed a lethal weapon. You have to pass a test to drive here. Do the same thing for guns.
46. GingerB | July 16th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
My friend in massage school came over to give me a freebie while I was home on maternity leave, I had to run upstairs and through the house to the bed where baby was, naked, and yes, it was indeed, awkward. But I loved the massage anyway. I agree with you on marriage, boobs, vacations and obviously, butter. I love your readers too – I was even once an Episcopalian!!
I loved you yesterday . . . Lyle Lovett.
And I love you today too.
47. Jen | July 16th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
I couldn’t agree more on the marriage front.
Well said.
48. April | July 16th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
I agree…. I think generations from now people will look back and be like WTF was that on the gay marriage thing?
Also, this steakhouse Flemings that I lurve serves two butters with bread/crackers to start off the meal. One is merlot/something I can’t remember b.c I was so busy stuffing my face full of the champagne/brie infused butter. OMG they were both so good, but I am a brie addict.
49. L | July 16th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Sam (a few comments above) made me spit diet Coke all over my computer screen.
I have a comment about what anon said yesterday: she is not personally against “homosexual marriage,” and has many “gay individuals” as friends, and the only reason she opposes same sex marriage is because of what it would lead to —- according to her, that would be multiple parnter marriage and the legalization of the marrige of a minor. I fail to see how permitting two consenting adults to marry would lead to those things, but apparently her “hotshot” lawyer husband knows better than I. I guess what she fails to see is that the same logic has been used to prevent (or put off for far too long) other equality laws from being passed. Your example about interraical marriage, Jonna (may I call you Jonnifer? I thought that was a most excellent suggestion) brings to mind so many other examples of hysterical reactions to any proposed racial anti-discrimination laws. How many times have you seen those documentaries and newsreels from the the 1950s and 60s (I love the HIstory channel) in which some ranting white person proclaimed that you just CAN’T let blacks drink from our water fountains or sit at our counters or move to the front of the bus because, jay-sus, next thing ya know they’d want to go to our schools and live in our neighborhoods! Please, anon, you ARE entitled to your opinions, and I am respectfully saying that. But do drop the lpseudo-logical justification.
50. TwoBusy | July 16th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Jennifer — I lovv ur blog. UR teh awesome.
p.s. does the cabin does have WiFi, right?
51. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) | July 16th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
I’m standing right up there next to you on this issue. Also in the butter love camp. I’m still in the Bill camp, though, but that could change because I’m two weeks behind on True Blood because, well, for one, we’ve started watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer and there’s a small part of me that is whispering “Angel…”
Vacations when you’re a mom is the biggest avenue of false advertising there is. Heaven bless you for going on one where cable isn’t even an option, though!
52. Joceline | July 16th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I totally agree with you on gay marriage with church vs. state. I am a Christian, and I do believe that gay marriage is wrong ( I know you disagree on that, but for the record, I won’t stop reading your blog, etc. etc.). However, I absolutely believe that the government should allow state-sanctioned gay marriage. Lots of people who do things I don’t agree with get married outside of “my” church, and that doesn’t bother me one bit. I just don’t want churches to be forced into sanctioning any marriages they don’t agree with.
Yes. Vacation as a mom is not easy. We are getting ready to leave tonight to go stay at another couple’s house for the weekend. We had all talked about renting a house in the mountains and then realized that, because we collectively have four children 21 months and younger (because we’re all crazy), it will be so much easier to just spend the weekend at their house with toys, baby equipment, baby-proofed areas, etc. It might not be a true vacation, but we’ll get to hang out with our friends in an environment that is unlikely to cause anyone to be rushed to the emergency room.
53. annabanana | July 16th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I’m just catching up here but you know how I love you tons and agree with on just about everything. Including guns. But gay folk having guns AND getting married.No. THey can just get married! HA! Just KIDDING. It just kills me how people who are against same sex marriage start down the path of arguing that ‘well then what if someone wants to marry a minor? or a horse” KILLS me they go down that road to convince me! Carumba!
Have a great vacation & I hope you have wifi in the cabin. Lord knows I can’t go more than two days without my Jonniker fix.
54. Jo | July 16th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I think I love you in a sort of blog lurker kind of way! I agree with your stance on marriage vs civil union and your stance on butter. I disagree on guns but that is the best thing about America- we can disagree peacefully and no one can punish us for thinking, feeling, believing what we want. Tolerance is the most important skill we can teach our children. Tolerance and how to sleep late in the mornings!
Thank you for your open honesty!
55. Lori | July 16th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Haven’t read any comments, so may be way off base in this one, but am happy to post it. My sister-in-law and her female partner are gettting married next September. We couldn’t be happier. I am so proud of my church and my faith that fully support such a union. If two people are in love – go forth and prosper. I’m so proud of them and so proud that I’ll get to be there (in a church!) to witness it. Our country is making positive strides, keep it up.
56. Danell | July 16th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Well. I thought the hermaphroditic engineering thing sounded positively GENIUS. And I’d also like to add that I think that optimal breeding age should be MUCH later in life…because there was NO WAY I was ready for kids in my early twenties, and even though I am 38 with two very small kids, I probably could have waited even longer to have kids if I hadn’t been worried about having old withered up dried out ovaries. And now I’d love to have yet another one. So…yeah…I think getting to share the whole child-bearing thing AND getting to wait until later in life would be super. Guess that means our life spans would need to be a bit longer, too.
I find the subject of “gay marriage” to be a bit bizarre. I mean, I don’t CARE if two people are GAY or not. If they are two nice people and they want to be together and they have a lovely wedding or whatever…well, then I would just consider them MARRIED. Not GAY MARRIED. I don’t think anybody came to my wedding and specifically thought “Hmmm…this couple is STRAIGHT, so you know what THAT means they’re doing in the bedroom!” At least, I hope not. Actually, maybe that would have been kind of funny…
Also, I can eat a stick of butter like a candy bar. I must try this butter you are talking about.
57. gorillabuns | July 16th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
wow, what’s wrong with me? i totally didn’t get past the whole Eric and Bill thing to know that you wrote anything controversial. Maybe I didn’t see anything controversial at all. To me, controversial is feeding my kids canned spaghetti instead of green beans. keeping them awake until 11pm so i can sleep in. teaching them to open the fridge when they do awake for their breakfast of chocolate milk while watching spongebob squarepants as a babysitter. and these particulars? aren’t really controversial at all.
58. birdgal | July 17th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Jonna, you elucidated the problem perfectly. The main problem is that ‘marriage’ has been co-opted by the state, namely by licensing it and then tying certain benefits to it. Really, ALL people should get a ‘civil union’ license, not a marriage license. Marriage is more a religious term. Therefore, it really shouldn’t be for the state to decide whether two people get married–if a church agrees to marry two people, no matter whether they are gay or straight, they should be allowed to. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I agree with your stand on marriage for EVERYONE wholeheartedly.
59. Gaby | July 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am
To piggyback on birdgal’s comment, I think opponents of gay marriage have conveniently latched onto an issue of semantics (“marriage” vs. “civil union”) to argue their case. Which is ridiculous. And like birdgal said, all married people already DO get a civil union license in order to get married, it was just improperly branded as a marriage license. Change the wording, get the separation back between the churches and the state, allow churches to make decisions that best represent their philosophy, and for pete’s sake, let people who are in love be married. Period.
As for butter? I used to eat the packets on restaurant tables when I was little. Gross? Yes. Delicious? Yep, that too.
60. schmutzie | July 17th, 2009 at 10:45 am
You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/07/five-star-fridays-edition-63.html
61. Sarah | July 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Might I add (why yes, I might!) that when I read your last post I was all “Yeah Jonna!” to your “I don’t suffer bigots” comment. What a cut to the chase, quit fucking around way to say it. Awesome. Completely and totally awesome.
People *are* people and they should be allowed to do whatever they darn well please. I think the problem in this country is that we need to be more like the French (I know, scandalous!). One small ceremony to be recognized by the state at the courthouse and then if you want to get all religious about it, you can go right ahead and get married in a church.
We’ve confused the issue of civil and religious marriage in this country and frankly, it’s whack. We could all save ourselves a lot of trouble if we just split the two out and, you know, actually practiced the separation of church and state.
62. Hashak | July 17th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I just don’t see how anti-gay-marriage arguments hold any water. The main argument being that by letting gay people get married it is somehow devaluing straight marriages. You know what really devalues marriage? Divorce. Annulments. Adultery. Vegas shot-gun weddings. So why are these things socially acceptable? (And you know like 80% of these so-called Christian politicians have cheated on their wives!) Not that I am arguing for any of those things to become illegal, but let’s look at the bigger picture. Straight people have debased the sanctity of marriage all on our own. Why not let gay people have a shot?
I think the sanctity of marriage was trampled on the moment Britney Spears got married in Vegas and then had it annulled 56 hours later, or something.
63. katie | July 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
re teething…have you tried highland teething tablets? i give my son (9 months) them and it helps with the pain
64. Chip | July 17th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
One thing I’d like to point out to the anonymous commenter on your last post is that the exact same chunk of her holy book that says gays are icky also says that eating shellfish and wearing clothes made of different fibers are abominations.
So if she’s ever eaten at Red Lobster or worn a polyester/cotton blend she’s going to hell right along with the gays.
(And you’re not allowed to say those parts don’t apply any more; either the whole thing is the inerrant word of god or it isn’t, and you don’t get to pick and choose what parts you believe in.)
65. djbeat | July 18th, 2009 at 3:00 am
my husband leaves me every time jessica simpson becomes available again. why cant she just figure it out?
on teething – they say (yes they) that if an adult had the same pain babies had when teething – they would go straight to the hospital!! poor little things – bb boy is on #4 (i have no idea how many are left)
i have taken two vacations (w 10mos bb) & i must say vacations with bb should include multi star hotels & top concierge service
66. Blythe | July 18th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
I don’t have time to read all the previous comments because I am on vacation and therefore doing twice as much work as usual. (Or, as Amanda recently said re: a weekend at the beach, the same job but with more sand and a bad mattress)
I’m one of those radicals who believes we should just do away with the tie between marriage and government altogether. Everyone (in whatever gendered pair they wish) gets to go to City Hall, and get their civil union. Then those who wish to do so can toddle off to their church/synagogue/Wiccan chanting circle and be bonded under the laws of that religion. Or not. Either way, our government recognizes the union in the same way. This seems like the separation of church and state we’re struggling to achieve. And this is why no one will ever elect me to public office.
I’m torn about the gun control thing. I come from a culture of hunting/fishing and I get it. I also know people who were wounded while playing with guns as children. Funnily enough, my feelings about this topic are similar to my feelings about the pro-life/pro-choice debate. We need to trust each other by not falling into “slippery slope” arguments (If they take our missile launchers, pretty soon we won’t be allowed to bow hunt! And if we want to discuss restricting abortion, pretty soon someone will come into our medicine cabinets and confiscate our birth control!) and have an intelligent national conversation.
We had tickets to see Gwen Stefani when my son was eight months old and we ended up selling them because the venue was changed to a place with standing room only that was over an hour from our house. And even though I’d wanted to see her for years, I just couldn’t do it. She (and The Roots) will be back.
67. Adult Dating » Blog&hellip | July 18th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
[...] from the rest of the world, but t hey cant be MARRIED? Yeah, um, no. Not to me…. source: People Are People, [...]
68. Mauigirl | July 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Jonna, excellent stand on the gay marriage issue. Well said. Your beliefs mirror mine completely. I hope someday people wi ll look back on this era and say WTF were we thinking? Love is love.
69. AndreAnna | July 20th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Dude, how come Sam gets no play? Or Hoyt for that matter? I love me some Hoyt.
70. willikat | July 20th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Wow, we agree on things. I just thought I’d stand up and say that I’m also pro-choice (but can understand a pro-life POV as long as it isn’t crazy zealot), I also believe in being able to own a gun (though I don’t , I wouldn’t like the government telling me I couldn’t, I come from a hunting family, I believe in the Bill of Rights, which guarantees us the right to bear arms), and I’m all for whoever wants to get married, you go RIGHT AHEAD. I’m afraid that when I have grandkids, they’ll ask me the way I ask my grandparents and parents about institutionalized racism. Like, WTF were you thinking??? Plus, ain’t nothin’ wrong with love. I love Blythe’s idea about completely separating marriage into civil and religious unions. Hell yeah! More separation of church and state, I say!
71. Susan (Trout Towers) | July 24th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
We used to pull a box truck up behind the stage of a nightclub where my husband works so I could see shows (from behind) after Sugarplum was born. She’d sleep in the pack & play. We are CLASSY.
Equality comes in many forms, including getting moms to live shows.
72. Anti-aging Health Products | July 27th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Love transcends all boundaries. <Cheesy, yeah.
But people should just respect the love they share. And if they want to get married. Go ahead.
Anyway, making a stand about something defines someone. If people just always go with the flow without thinking for themselves, that's a totally boring life.
If anyone shits on your face because you feel strongly for something, throw their crap back at their face.
73. Perfect Pancakes : Ka-Ka-&hellip | August 11th, 2009 at 7:00 am
[...] We both use plain, old Trader Joe’s butter but I suspect that I may soon go the way of Jonniker and Metalia and seek out some cultured butter to try. As for M, she rarely eats more then 2 bites [...]
74. pinkyxx | September 9th, 2010 at 12:20 am
hi, this is good stuff, Im happy I found this article cause i been searching for something like this since last weekend. thank you!!
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