Nightmares
September 21st, 2009
I made an appointment to get my hair cut and colored this coming weekend, and dudes, I could not be more excited. Since having Sam, my appearance in general has gone … how do I say this? DOWNHILL. VERY STEEPLY. And you know, for the most part, I haven’t really cared because I haven’t had the energy or time to care. And that is really very sad, but I’m inclined to cut myself some slack in that my daughter just started sleeping in actual multiple-hour stretches in the last three weeks, you know?
I used to have great hair. Seriously great hair. The kind that people stopped me on the street to talk about! And since I got pregnant … not so much. In fact, I would go so far as to say I have BAD hair. BAD. BAD HAIR.
The time of Bad Hair has to end, and I’m going an hour to the big city (ha, um, that would be Burlington, pop. 38,000) to have my hair colored by someone who went to a beauty school outside of their grandmother’s garage. And though my hair may be bad, it rewarded me this fine morning with a fine imitation of Mike Score from Flock of Seagulls:
This is all sounding very vain, and normally, I’m not a fan, but you know, the hair is becoming a little symbolic for me in terms of how I’ve sort of … let myself go. I’ve gotten snippets of myself back here and there — I’m reading again, and started taking baths, and my evenings are free — but it’s been a long time since I gave the slightest shit of what I looked like, and I can’t help but think, MAN. It’s time. And at the very least, we’ll start with hair. Then maybe we’ll talk about finally following goddamn Weight Watchers, rather than EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE OMG.
Onward!
– It’s fall here in Vermont, and you guys, it’s freakin’ IDYLLIC. Beautiful weather, stunning leaves, apples everywhere. And while I love it, and I’m trying to soak it all in, all I keep thinking is, WINTER IS COMING. FUUUUUUUCK. SAVE YOURSELVES. And then I start thinking about having a baby during the Era of Swine Flu and I need a paper bag. Seriously.
– Not to bring it back to boobs, but you know whose I covet? Christina Hendricks. You know, Joan, from Mad Men. The woman is a BRICK SHIT HOUSE and her boobs … ah. If only.
– My Vera Wang jeans are starting to … TURN on me, and it’s all making me wonder if the reason Mom Jeans are named such is because once you become a mom, everything shifts in sad, unmanageable fashion and suddenly, you’re left with Mom Butt and you HAVE to buy Mom Jeans, because nothing else FITS. And Jesus, if THAT isn’t a case to get my ass (ha ha!) back in gear, I don’t know what is. Please, someone shoot me before I start wearing jeans with NO POCKETS.
That’s all she wrote, my friends. I’m pooped, and I am off to take a bath with Sookie Stackhouse and a glass of wine.
Happy Tuesday!
*Flock of Seagulls
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24 Comments Add your own
1. She Likes Purple | September 21st, 2009 at 9:20 pm
I refuse to talk about Swine Flu. At least not with a paper bag handy in which to hyperventilate into.
2. Nothing But Bonfires | September 21st, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Jeans with no pockets! Ha! Like sweatpant jeans! Sweatjeans! Man, I think we might have just collectively had a million dollar idea.
3. -R- | September 21st, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Your hair is funky in that picture, but what really gets me is that squinty face you’re making. Too funny.
4. Penny | September 21st, 2009 at 10:08 pm
God, it’s even harder after 2 kids. The sags get worse and the sleep gets thinner and I don’t even remember what it’s like to fit into fashionable clothing anymore.
And I’m growing my hair long just to avoid the Flock look.
5. Megan | September 21st, 2009 at 10:10 pm
I am so dreading the winter. SO MUCH. Maybe I’ll strap some snowshoes on L & I, and hike the 3+ hours up your way.
I relate to your post SO MUCH. I’ve had my hair done a whopping one time since last winter. Once. I used to go every 12ish weeks.
I did start my gym trial membership today…not so much to see if I like the treadmills (note: I STILL DON”T), but to check out the daycare situation. It’s time…sigh.
Have fun at your hair appt!! (And go try Gap’s new jeans, I’m a fan.)
6. Shana | September 22nd, 2009 at 2:56 am
Yes. Dude. I look at Christina Hendricks and begin to understand what it is that guys must feel when they encounter really stupidly-gorgeous women, and why their faculties seem to abandon them in such situations. I really, really, REALLY hope that her body type has a resurgence, because she’s the epitome of gorgeous, and I…don’t see how anybody could look at her, then look at, like, Kate Bosworth or Jennifer Aniston or whatever, and prefer the latter. The mind boggles. It would make TV, movies, magazines, etc. SO much more fun. Imagine a world where the eye candy was equal-opportunity? (Also, John Slattery. I know everybody wants Jon Hamm, but they can keep him. I miss Roger & Joan together. That was freaking fantastic.)
Your FoS hair is awesome. Haaa. Also, am considering Burlington as a possible home for when I settle down, but I keep running up against the population. Granted, I grew up in a town of 3000 people, and I only live in Oklahoma City now, which isn’t NY or L.A. by any means, but the idea of living in a town that small again makes me itch. Still, it’s the home of Seventh Generation, one of my fav companies. There IS that. (Speaking of hippie cleaning products, I think we had a convo about your love of scented laundry, and your lavender detergent spill-road-trip-combo is exactly the reason I avoid scents. Am klutz, would spill, would die of stench. Has the car aired out yet? More importantly, has it put off your beloved lavender?)
Jeans shopping is, what, the sixth, seventh circle of hell? Really, Sam’s SO young yet — it’s not like you’re two years in. You’ll get back to where you want to be. You can doo eet!
7. Cookie | September 22nd, 2009 at 6:20 am
There’s nothing like a good haircut and color for lifting your mood. I just had mine done a couple weeks ago. Except mine was long and limp with visible roots and grown out highlights.
I keep trying to ignore the swine flu and pretend that by getting the entire family flu shots we will be immune.
There’s nothing quite like a bath, good book, and a drink. One of my favorite ways to spend an evening. Glad you’re getting to the point where you can do that again. It’s so important to do things that make you feel like more than a mom.
I’ve always hated jeans shopping, my hips are much wider than my waist and the trendy low-cut jeans always gap giving me the dreaded plumber butt. Curvy cuts aren’t too bad, Gap makes some as does Ann Taylor Loft.
8. Minivan Soapbox | September 22nd, 2009 at 7:10 am
I particularly like the look on your face….Kind of like….”Really? Seriously? THIS is where I am now?” Good luck with the new do….My issue is the gray. Can’t seem to stop it – Can’t AFFORD to stop it. Decided to embrace it.
9. Tessie | September 22nd, 2009 at 7:49 am
Oh dude. I so love this post, and also YOU, and not in a schadenfreude-type way. I think you are well within the New Baby Grace Period and should withhold judgement on the Letting Yourself Go and the Permanent Momass.
I went for a period of around 2ish years not giving a shit about what I looked like and I look back on it fondly. More people should try that sort of thing.
Anyway, good luck with the hair. Nothing in the Kate Gosselin family, plsthx.
10. Lawyerish | September 22nd, 2009 at 8:38 am
I think all is not lost until you find yourself wearing jeans with a yoke and pleats.
11. Jen | September 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 am
I HEAR YOU. I got my hair cut and colored last week after going months and months without having it done, and I felt like a new woman. Seriously. Enjoy every minute of the hair wash (beacuse isn’t that the best part? Or am I just weird like that?)
Swine flu. Can we talk about the vaccine? Wondering whether to give it to Avery is kind of keeping me up at night.
Fall in NY might be close to fall in VT. I can’t wait to go apple picking and get cider donuts. OMG so GOOD.
12. H | September 22nd, 2009 at 9:39 am
I think we’re in a race against time here with H1N1. Coach’s instructions to my daughter’s high school team this week were get rest, eat well and wash your hands frequently. Not that it is a bad thing – but the washing the hands part has never ever been mentioned before and it freaks me out a bit. Makes you want to put your child in a bubble, doesn’t it?
Oh hair. It amazes me how it can make me crabby when I’m in need of a cut. Good luck with yours – I hope you find someone that does a great job and makes you happy. A good hair stylist is a must!
13. Jess | September 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 am
Good luck with the hair appointment! I can’t wait to see pictures.
14. Mauigirl | September 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Enjoy trying to get your hair back! I just chopped mine short because I was so darn sick of it and have gotten a ton of compliments (makes me think it looked like sh*t before…).
Good luck with the WW, I’m sure you are still young enough to avoid the Mom Jeans. I am already so there and didn’t have kids!
15. Christine | September 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
You look so cute! even with the messed up hair.
And YES on Joan. Jeebus. I think she’s turned Tony onto redheads in a BIG way.
16. Kristabella | September 22nd, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Nothing makes me feel better than getting my hair done! Enjoy!
Also, seriously, I CANNOT get any motivation to succeed on WW. Or actually get my fat ass off the couch to work out.
Maybe we can motivate each other. I shall send you stern emails to “PUT THE COOKIE DOWN!” And you can reply with “GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND GET SOME EXERCISE, SKANK!”
17. julie | September 22nd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Enjoy your free nights. I thought I had it made until #2 came along. Now my nights don’t start until close to 9, and I’m in bed by 10:30.
I just joined Weight Watchers online yesterday. I’ve got one word for you. I’m HUNGRY. That’s 2 words. That goes to show you how clearly I’m not thinking.
And I wish I had a fat ass. All my extra weight has settled into a pouch along my tummy. I used to call that “4th grade English teacher” because my 4th grade English teacher had that horribly bloated belly. Now it’s me.
And not only do my jeans not have pockets…they have an ELASTIC WAIST.
Console yourself with that.
18. Leah | September 22nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Congrats on having your evenings free!
And yes–we always thought it was the mom jeans, but lo, it is the mom butt instead. I just dug up my old tape (a tape!) of Buns of Steel circa 1994. Halp!
19. TwoBusy | September 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Sorry to be late to the party, but that? Is a GREAT Flock of Seagulls song. I realize that’s not the actual point of this post, but now I’ve got it going through my head and it’s actually making me kind of happy. Which is wrong on several levels. Nevertheless: thanks.
20. Krissy | September 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Well that’s funny there are only 2 schools in Vermont…. So unless you’re going to Burlington MA …..Didn’t know you could get a license in grandma’s garage, think of all the money that could have been saved!
21. Maggy | September 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 pm
H, really? Washing hands has never been mentioned? Handwashing is the the single most effective way to stop the spread of infection. Yes, I wash my hands approximately eighty gazillion times a day (I’m a nurse.). And, yes, I do want to put my infant in a protective bubble.
In other news, it’s Wizard of Oz day! Check your local movie theatre for a special showing tonight. I’m even paying over $8 for a movie.
22. katie | September 23rd, 2009 at 7:51 pm
i like the hair. very fashionable. also, gap revamped their jeans and arent bad. (i have 2 kids–23 months and 1 year). and am a bit of a jean snob and i like their jeans. so try them and they arent bad in price (about $60)
23. jive turkey | September 30th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I am so angry I have JUST NOW found your blog. I love it, and you, and am trying to devour your archives surreptitiously here at my desk.
I have an almost-6-month-old daughter, and O HAI, my husband just got diagnosed with the H1N1. Like, ten minutes ago. I am kind of freaking out. What is not helping is the fact that my boss got H1N1 back in JUNE, and is still out of the office. Was in a coma & on a respirator for a month. Not that I’m shitting my pants with fear or anything. BUT, that was just his body’s reaction to the virus – he has a 3yo daughter and she was fine.
OK, sorry for the tangent. But I am so glad I found your blog! Stay healthy! Wash your hands!
24. Sam | October 20th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Jeans with no pockets and elastic at the waist. Of course the “waist” I am speaking of is located in this example about 1.5 inches below the armpits. I am having serious jean issues because I was so miserably bed and couch ridden during my pregnancy that I lost weight in my ass. The ass that wasn’t big to begin with is now a wall with a crack in it. And yet my upper body is FAT. Not a pretty picture at all. I am a brick of fat sitting upon two toothpicks for legs.
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