Pity and Fear
October 1st, 2009
In further evidence that I am, in fact, a genius, I have discovered a way to keep my pants from sliding down and exposing my bum: wear a belt. Wear a belt! A BELT. Why yes, I AM available for rocket science and brain surgery consults, thank you for asking. Also, I am embarrassed to admit that I have taken to wearing those preppy ribbon belts with things like fine gauge cardigans and cute flats and it’s all because I got my hair done and it looks adorable, if I do say so myself, and I am not responsible for my brief foray into Melissa C. Morris territory, folks.
(Disclaimer: I love Melissa C. Morris. LOVE. But the preppy look is not one I’ve ever pulled off all that well. But hey, maybe a new dawn is upon us! This summer: Lilly Pulitzer!) (OMG I KID ABOUT THE LILLY BIT)
At the risk of sounding like a completely ignorant slut, occasionally I … grow tired … of all the raging battles against feminism, motherhood and life on Twitter and the blogosphere. I am TIRED of hearing about Nestle, as much as I think the issues are valid. I am TIRED of being mad at Whoopi Goldberg and Hollywood and Roman Polanski, and I just want to sit back and have a nice glass of (non-Nesquik) chocolate milk and talk about something FRIVOLOUS. Or at least not listen to everyone wax feminista about all of it, because apparently, I am finished with my deep thinking for the week. Am I alone here? I think I only have so much rage about each particular issue, and when that’s exhausted by reading about OTHER people’s rage, I feel particularly exhausted. I’m sure this means something deep and thoughtful — or rather, it means I am bending over and letting the patriarchy ram me in the ass — but I’m not sure I actually care to … care at the moment. More likely, however, it means that I am a shallow, thoughtless person who would be better off watching “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”
And with that, I will contradict myself MIGHTILY and mention the swine flu vaccine issue, which Sundry hosted a really awesome discussion about earlier this week. Truly, I was riveted by all of the comments, and in full disclosure, I should tell you that I am, in almost every circumstance, pro-vaccine, including the swine flu vax. I’m comfortable in my decision, and have done a boatload of research to get there, although I recognize and respect that many others have come to a completely different decision with a completely different body of research. And I totally get that, and, given where I live, am friends with MANY non-vaccinators.
But what I CANNOT GET are the people who think that there is some sort of VAST GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY to give everyone the swine flu so that … I don’t know, there could be a vaccine made and make someone lots of money and … well, I can’t even explain it properly, because I’m just LOST, yo. For God’s sake, our government can’t even get a coherent health care bill together, do you HONESTLY think they’re in there indoctrinating the CDC staffers to do something on such a grand scale? It all just makes me wonder if people realize that this is, indeed, real life, and not a movie.
So! The Sookie Stackhouse books. LOVE THEM. They’re ridiculous and not that well written, but they’re as addictive as those giant jelly Nerds with the candy coating and twice as delicious. Except DUDE, the fashion. Y’all warned me, but I WAS NOT PREPARED. You guys, in book three, she wears a strapless dress with … long sleeves that she puts on separately that may or may not attach at the middle finger like something Ann Wilson would have worn in Heart’s heyday, and I had to check the publishing date on the novels to make sure they weren’t done in the ’80s, because, seriously, Charlaine? I know this takes place in rural Louisiana, but … separate sleeves? And banana clips? And the Hairagami? And this woman is supposedly some kind of IRRISISTABLE SEX SYMBOL. GAWD.
And finally, I learned YET AGAIN that I am brutally addicted to caffeine when, on Sunday, I woke up to realize we only had decaf in the house. And despite having drunk ELEVEN CUPS, thinking that the caffeine content SURELY was high enough to be absorbed at that point, because don’t they say that decaf is never REALLY decaffeinated?, I ended up with the world’s largest headache. It was a headache that could not be contained by Advil or Excedrin or Tylenol. It was the Mother of All Headaches, and I just kept thinking that if any other substance caused such extreme withdrawal symptoms, I would bust my ass to wean myself from it. But because it was coffee and therefore, AIR, what I did was run out and buy more, then come home and brew myself the biggest pot under the sun. And then I drank it all like the twitchy little addict I am.
Happy weekend!
**Death Cab for Cutie. Decent band, terrible name.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Nuttin'
38 Comments Add your own
1. Elizabeth | October 1st, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Yes. Every single time someone has gotten their panties in a bunch on the internet lately I just haven’t had the energy to care.
Thus proving I am vastly superior to everyone in the world! Ha!
I must go put on my sleeve gloves and my ribbon belt.
2. Leah | October 1st, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I hardly ever have the energy to rage about anything, in part because I’m not a rageful person and in part because I know that were I to rage publicly (i.e., on my blog), I’d be just asking for the crazies to come out of the woodwork, and you know what takes more energy than raging? DEFENDING my raging. And I just don’t have it in me. Shallow and thoughtless FTW!
3. Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) | October 1st, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Totally with you on the Twitter rage machine. I usually agree with the Bad Thing of the moment when it first comes up but then I find I have nothing to talk about after awhile. I guess I’m short on ire.
I totally did the same thing as you with the Sookie books. I remember reading the first book and the moment she got all fancied up with her banana clip I flipped to the front to check the publishing date. I just finished the third book and yeah…the separate arms with the dress. Wow. And I just have to say that I am sooooo glad that someone is finally agreeing with me on the poor writing of those books. The first half of the first book was a struggle for me to get through. They hooked me in the end though because the stories are so entertaining. I finished the third book last night and I’ve decided that the poor writing-style is actually representative of the fact that Sookie is uneducated and is the one narrated the books. That makes it easier to overlook (at least I think so).
4. willikat | October 1st, 2009 at 10:34 pm
feminists can have fun, too. you go right ahead and do that without feeling guilty.
5. cindy w | October 1st, 2009 at 11:04 pm
God, yes, right there with you. I tried to follow all of the Nestle tweets, and I spent a good 20-30 minutes trying to understand why I’m supposed to be so outraged. In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Same goes for Whoopi. Sure, she said something stupid. Is she the only celebrity who’s ever talked out of his/her ass? I’m thinking no.
Also: government conspiracy whackadoos give me a headache.
P.S. Belts are awesome. They’re required with all of my post-baby pants, too.
6. She Likes Purple | October 1st, 2009 at 11:20 pm
I read these Internet brawls, and I think, Oh, yes, very valid point. I should weigh in. I could easily put some intelligent thoughts together. And then you know what distracts me? THE HILLS. Or Kyle falling on his head and BRUISING it. Or GOSSIP GIRL. Or … well you get it.
There are some things I am very, very passionate about. Very. And I can get riled up with the best of them. But by the time I’ve WRITTEN a ragey, riled post or comment, I’m … not as ragey or riled any longer. I’ve gotten it out of my system and I think, well, this is just ridiculous, you can’t publish this, so I don’t. I delete and move on to something more important, like sleep or drinking or something.
I respect women who are all guns a’blazing and making a difference on the Internet and conviction, conviction, conviction, I really do. Insanely. But … well … the dishes need to be done every damn day and that just plain cuts in on my Take a Stand time.
Also, THE HILLS.
7. Cookie | October 2nd, 2009 at 6:19 am
I don’t have enough time or energy to get enraged about Nestle or Whoopi or Roman Polaski. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough caffeine. Great post, BTW.
8. anne | October 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 am
Spot on point commentary of the vast government conspiracy. My gawd and I have great faith in our government and even I know they couldn’t possibly pull off something like that. Plus even begin to mention the word vaccine to a doctor and they will immediately start to laugh.
9. -R- | October 2nd, 2009 at 7:31 am
I don’t mind people making different decisions than I did about the flu vaccine, but the reasoning of some people seriously disturbed me. And not just the conspiracy people, though I would agree that those are the craziest.
I don’t think I follow anyone who ever gets into Twitter controversy. I’m ok with that.
10. Swistle | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:18 am
What I find is that when I read a WHOLE LOT OF RAGE about a topic, it makes me start doing defense work for the other side. Like I start thinking, “Welllllll…..I mean, it wasn’t THAT bad.” When if I HADN’T read so many “YOU DISGUST ME, YOU ARE THE WORST THING SINCE MAYTAG, I WILL NEVER WATCH ANYTHING YOU DO EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!” things about it, I WOULD have thought it was “that bad.”
When it comes to highly controversial topics such as vaccines, I look for the crazykins points of view and count that against whatever they’re arguing. Because I figure that if there were real arguments against something, we’d hear THOSE instead of the crazy stuff.
11. Kaitlin | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 am
I finally had a Pant Epiphany and recently started wearing a belt. It is amazing to not have to worry about butt exposure anymore – its like belts were specifically invented to hold up my pants! Still feeling a little bit dumb that it took me so long to come to the realization
12. beyond | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:49 am
when i realized that the headache that had me whimpering on the sofa in a fetal position for two days was in fact caffeine withdrawal, i stopped coffee. i’m not anti-coffee or anything, and i may start drinking it again, but so far (about a year) not having caffeine has been good for me. isn’t that headache just terrifying?
13. Daily Tragedies | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:58 am
What you hid in there was a little tidbit about how awesome your hair looks. WHERE ARE THE PICTURES???
14. natalie | October 2nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
All the angsty debates just get me too riled up to form coherent thoughts, so I’ll just agree with your assessment about the giant Nerds. Which I have been known to order on the internet when I can’t find them locally. Really, I don’t have a problem! I can stop anytime I want!
15. Jen | October 2nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
I am always in the dark about the internet drama. No idea what the Nestle thing is. In fact, I had chocolate milk made with Nesquik for dinner last night (not even joking) and now I wonder if I should feel bad about that? But I don’t! Because it was GOOD.
I have never even seen these chewy Nerds you speak of.
16. Carmen | October 2nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
I have a PhD in molecular genetics. A few years ago, someone wasn’t happy with my standard answer that I’m a scientist doing cancer research and pushed until I told him what my PhD was in. Then he started asking me strange conspiracy-type questions. He wanted to know if I thought that AIDS was a bioterrorism organism built by the US government and released in Africa. I had to try to politely explain that a virus that take 10-20 years to kill someone isn’t a terribly effective weapon. He had all kinds of wackadoodle ideas. It was quite interesting to talk with him as most of these things never would have occurred to me. I bet he thinks swine flu was orchestrated as well!
Also? Jelly Nerds? Never heard of them. We really are deprived of cool foodstuffs here in Canada. That’s it, I’m moving to Vermont. Oh wait. Nope. I need to be somewhere close to a Target!
17. Kristin H | October 2nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
See, this is why I love reading you. You are enlarging my universe. Melissa C. Morris! Lilly Pulitzer! GIANT JELLY NERDS. All things I have not heard of.
Also: eleven cups of decaf, then a pot of regular? It may be time for an intervention, dear.
18. Kristin | October 2nd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I totally agree with you about the vaccines. I was also riveted by the comments to Sundry’s post–I read all of them, which I never do (there were like 170!). But getting beyond the conspiracy theorists, it was shocking to me how many people, who are probably very intelligent, aren’t going to get the shots because of their gut feeling about it, or because they’ve heard some rumor and it made them uncomfortable. What? That is so bizarre to me. I hope they read the article in the NYT yesterday which talked about how dangerous H1N1 can be. The statistic that really jumped out at me was that of the 100 pregnant women who’ve been hospitalized in intensive care with H1N1 since April, 28 of them have DIED. Holy shit.
On a lighter note–I am also reading the Sookie series (just finished #2) and the fashion is so distracting!!! I also looked up the publication date! She wears hair bows in her ponytail to match her outfit when she gets dressed up! There can not be enough exclamation points to express my amazement over this detail.
19. scantee | October 2nd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I’m a pretty hardcore feminist and, yeah, the online rage gets old even for me. It seems like every few months there is some new outrage and everyone gets worked up and pissed and then…nothing happens. People forget about it and move on the next drama, it’s too much like high school for me (the Polanski thing extends far beyond the momosphere so that seems a bit different. Also he raped a child, so…) Like that nonsense awhile back about that sling-related Motrin commercial. I guess I expect marketing to be offensive and that commercial barely registered as objectionable. Also, if you think I’m going to boycott the one pain product that works for my kid you have another thing coming (not that anyone is actually boycotting Motrin, like I said, nothing comes of these things).
Vaccinators unite! I am so with you on this one. Do people really think the US government has its shit together enough to organize a wide scale conspiracy? Hardly.
20. H | October 2nd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I love coffee and would not want to live without it. I’m a two-pot-a-day’er. True Coffee Confessions.
21. Angella | October 2nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Oh, Jonna.
The raging debates make me weary. Honestly, I think a lot of people grab on them to somehow get noticed or…something. Everyone jumps on the bandwagon and it makes me wish that the wagon would topple.
They give a bad name to the community, in my (oh, so very) humble opinion.
22. Fiona Picklebottom | October 2nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
What’s the Nestle thing? I have no idea. I heard about the Whoopi and Roman thing and I’m vaguely aware that a swine flu vaccine is supposed to become available (and may be already) and there is debate about it, but the Nestle thing has completely escaped my notice. So while I’m curious as to what the Nestle thing is all about, I’m very sure it won’t occupy even one of my “care about things” brain cells (of which, I should be honest, I have very few) for more than a fleeting moment, if that. I think apathy is vastly underrated.
23. Lauren | October 2nd, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I had to take deep breaths while reading some of the comments on Sundry’s post, and even then I couldn’t stop myself from responding to the whackadoo that was convinced that all pediatricians are Big Pharma stockholders in sway to the overarching powers of Merck and the guv’mint. Riiiggghhhtt. I’ve worked for several biotech companies. Evil conspirators they are not.
Oh, the Sookie books. Once the HBO season was over, I tried to read the first two. Charlaine Harris almost ruined Eric for me (pink Lycra leggings), which I don’t think I can forgive. I just can’t get into them at all, and the “fashion” does not help.
Hope Miss Sam’s teeth are calming down. Jacob’s have been moving upagain, I think he’s getting ready to pop a few more through. Can’t happen soon enough.
24. whoorl | October 2nd, 2009 at 5:40 pm
YES. (And this is why I jumped on Brizzly like a mad woman. THE MUTE FEATURE.)
25. Em | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
ON the swine flu thing, my mother is a nurse and says that 90% of the flu cases they’ve seen this year already have been the swine flu. She says the hospital has stopped testing for it, and that it really isn’t even as bad as the usual flu. The “typical” flu kills more people each year than the swine flu has. Maybe it’s not such a big deal after all?
26. jonniker | October 2nd, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Hm. I don’t really buy that, because while that may be true, the truth is ALSO that humans have no natural immunity to it, and it’s more aggressive in younger people, and I’m vaxing my kid against the regular flu, too. So, why wouldn’t I also vax against the swine flu? I’m not afraid of the vaccine.
27. kim | October 2nd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
omg. love you. it is official. this is my favorite blog. yes yes and yes. oh, and buying the sookie stackhouse novels…um…now!
28. JMH | October 3rd, 2009 at 11:14 am
“It all just makes me wonder if people realize that this is, indeed, real life, and not a movie.” Hahahaha! Love that line!
For the record, I have no idea about Whoopi or Nestle, and I don’t think I would care IF I knew. Polanski I have heard about and I think he is a giant idiot. However, there will always be giant idiots, so I reserve my rage for other things.
29. Cecily | October 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I hear ya on the outrage overkill. When you get it from news, blogs, facebook, and twitter, it all gets a bit wearying. But I am just as tired of twitter parties, tweeted links to contests, etc, and would much rather have outrage because then there is CONTENT. Ya know?
Anyway.
About the vaccines, I just got to tour a vax packaging plant with a vax creator and watch him tear up and look like a little boy when he saw the vax he created on the assembly line, but I’m scared to write about it because I get tired just thinking about the backlash.
30. The New Girl | October 3rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I FORGOT the strapless with separate sleeves! And the HAIRIGAMI! OMFG. The best part, though, is how EARNEST the fashion talk is. Like EVERYONE would find all that stuff SUPAH SEXY. Am I right?
Oh and I’ll be laughing about letting the patriarchy ram you in the ass all. night. long.
31. Stephanie | October 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Had to click over here when I saw your comment at Uppercase Woman because I’m also pro-vax, and the government conspiracy thing kills me. Now that I live in Washington state, which has one of the worst vaccination rates in the country, I find the panic-riddled rhetoric alarming. Obviously, there will always be a fringe element, but when the general population starts paying attention to the fringe element? Ack.
32. laurie | October 4th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Have we discussed my Nerd addiction on Twitter? You know, along with all of our other fun topics?
I’ve recently discovered a candy store in Northern Virginia that stocks many, many varieties and although I had to put a lid on it because my sugar crashes were epic in September, I’m rationing them, oh yes I am.
What I can’t stand is when something that spurs outrage is trending and I cannot tell from the tweets what the context is or why people are pissed off. If it’s that bad it should be more clear. And I’m with Angella that I think sometimes it’s for attention. That said, I tweeted one tiny little tweet about Nike and Vick last week, because I truly supported what someone said and wanted to express that. I’m not afraid to say what I think about certain controversial things, but I more appreciate it when it’s a simple statement and doesn’t turn into an endless, hashtagged, virtual argument where it seems like gaining attention is (often) the thing. When I stop seeing the value I tune out, and lately that’s a lot.
33. Rhi | October 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I think Decaf is just the same as “non-alcoholic” beer. Always just a trace of the good stuff.
34. Rach | October 4th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
you…are…a freaking SCREAM.
Seriously. Followed you over from Cecily’s and glad I did!
35. monkey | October 6th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Oh, I disagree. I find blogging kerfuffles to be hee-hee-larious. I feel bad for the people featured in the slambook sites, but I will say that it’s not like they’re unique to the blogging (or mommyblogging community). Nearly every messagboard community I’ve participated in has one.
And I have to admit, there’s one particular blogger I follow, and I think we’re thinking of the same one in terms of the RP outrage, that I’m fascinated by in terms of her ability to ferret out subjects to write long, meandering rants about.
36. Sam | October 13th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
My pants are falling down, too. Being pregnant sucked all the fat and muscle out of my lower half. Nursing hunger put all the fat in my upper half. I look stupid.
37. Buffy | November 1st, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Everyone keeps recommending Sookie et al but I don’t want to stumble onto another vampire type who might pollute my image of David Boreanaz without a shirt. ‘Cause I REALLY like that image.
As to raging against the machine…the machine always wins. Best to only take it on when you’re properly zen.
38. PatelGertrude22 | February 26th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Houses are quite expensive and not everybody is able to buy it. However, loans are invented to support people in such kind of hard situations.
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