Flavor
November 10th, 2009
You know how I’ve always said nothing grosses me out, like, EVER? Well, then! We have found the secret weapon of UTTER GROSSNESS. And it’s … ground chicken. Benign, right? GROUND CHICKEN! Big deal.
A-HO! Since Sam’s favorite food is chicken mixed with apples and none of the organic brands have any a) chicken & apples together; or b) lone chicken jars to mix with apples, I’ve been doing a fair amount of ridiculous HANDWRINGING over the non-organic, mass-produced CREEPY OF THE CREEP chicken that my daughter was ingesting. I know, oh my God, I KNOW. I’m a yuppie asshole for even thinking such things, I KNOW. But it turns out that the organic chicken combinations are RANK, and though I make most of my own baby food, I could NOT bring myself to grind CHICKEN, because ew, CREEP.
A few weeks ago, I was standing in my friend Meg’s kitchen and she was rooting around her refrigerator looking for something and pulled out a tupperware container, noting that it was her son Toby’s chicken and that she’d ground it herself like it was no! big! deal! And so I thought that I, TOO could grind my own chicken, and it would be no! big! deal! and then I poached some (hormone-free, local, PUNCH PUNCH) chicken thighs and ground ‘em up with some water and I AM STILL RECOVERING. I had to add water! And grind, like, a WHOLE LOT, until it was a PINK PASTE and I am going to DRY HEAVE UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
My Kryptonite, it is homemade ground chicken. Oh, and it’s currently residing in ice cube trays in my freezer, and I’m thinking I’ll have the balls to pull THAT shit out on the twelfth day of never, and tomorrow, I plan to hand an inordinate amount of money over to Gerber, because whatever, Misty Knoll, I ain’t got the stomach for you, and BRING ON THE CREEPY CHICKEN HORMONES. Sorry, Sam!
PHEW. Now that THAT grossness is over with, I’m sort of at a loss as to where to go from here, so I will give you RANDOM BULLETS OF NOTHINGNESS:
– I sort of cringe saying this, given the recent loss of his son and all, but you know, I have never liked John Travolta, and again with the GUILT OF SAYING THIS, but it all ties back to an interview I read in … Redbook? Good Housekeeping? Eh, one of those magazines for houseladies like me (OMG), but in it, he mentioned that he and his wife went through some hard times a few years back because she was so INSECURE and because he was such a giant movie star, she always thought he was going to leave her. And seriously, I just have not been able to move past that, because if my husband sold out my insecurities to RedHousekeepingLadies, I don’t think he would have a penis anymore, because I would have Lorena Bobbitted that shit the second that thing hit the newsstands, yo.
– Speaking of houseladies, occasionally, when reading about celebrities like Jude Law or Josh Duhamel who get themselves in trouble with the great raggedy-ass masses, I feel SO SORRY for the poor peon that they became involved with, because my God, could they be described in more unflattering terms? And then I think about how US Weekly would describe ME if *I* were the one impregnated with Jude Law’s baby (NO THANK YOU), and I just KNOW that they would say something like “overweight suburban mom and housewife,” complete with accompanying pooch-baring photo and OH HEAVENS, let us all thank YE GODS that I am not and will not be having an affair with anyone famous, nor will I ever find myself in US Weekly.
– My kid pretty much begged to go to bed at 6:30 p.m. tonight. This is likely because this morning, she got up with a rather unfortunate diaper situation at 4:45 a.m. (ALL OVER HER. AND HER CRIB. OH MY LANDS), and decided that it was time to be up up UP! FOR THE DAY. So help me MAN ALIVE, if I see her poopy little ass before 6 a.m., you will find me in the car on my way to Green Mountain Coffee headquarters wondering if they have a vat I can go for a swim in.
Happy Wednesday!
*Tori Amos
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
18 Comments Add your own
1. Emily | November 10th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
True story: A man who goes to my church was the cop who found the ah, dismembered… MEMBER of John Bobbitt. Gross! Can you imagine searching in the weeds for that thing? AND THEN COMING UPON IT?
If Lucy ever asks me to ground her up a chicken, I shall just say PASS. I am ok with her continuing to be a carb fiend.
2. Aunt Becky | November 10th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I’ll never grind up chicken for anyone ever. Even Anthony Bourdain who is my television husband.
3. newmom | November 10th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
i understand your feelings on the ground chicken. when my son was eating the purees I too insisted on making my own food…i actually stewed the apples and chicken (and anything else, ie yams/carrots) together until all was cooked and smooth, and then pureed it. would this help?
4. Sundry | November 10th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
May I offer a hearty thumbs up for the frozen Happy Baby organic meal-cubes? Expensive, yes, but so convenient and their stuff isn’t creepy or gross at ALL.
5. Megs | November 11th, 2009 at 1:26 am
We had the 5 am poop everywhere incident for the first time the other day. He was crying and trying to escape, but it was everywhere! No way to pick him up AND avoid it completely, and I still, days later, feel unclean.
We haven’t introduced meat yet mostly because we aren’t ready for the change in poo. But if Sam is so game, I feel bad withholding…
6. Swistle | November 11th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I cut up chicken and put it in the blender, and it was less gross than I’d thought, but on the other hand I used chicken breasts so nothing PINK was involved. *shudder*
I, too, would have to kill my celebrity husband if he told our personal discussions to a national magazine. Also, my guess is that most celebrity spouses have SUPER GOOD REASON to be worried.
7. Hillary | November 11th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I’m with you on the ground meat. Ground chicken in general creeps me out. It’s so pink. Ick. And really, homemade meat purees for baby was pretty much beyond me. I made most of The Boy’s babyfood, but the meat pastes were just too gross. I ended up just offering him well-cooked, shredded, tiny pieces of meat from our plates. Everyone wins.
8. Dina | November 11th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I steam cut-up chicken with any veggies or fruit I’m combining it with (chicken, sweet potatoes and grapes is a good combo!) and then puree it together. That way I only have to deal with regular old chicken breast and not the zombie-fied ground chicken.
9. Kristabella | November 11th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Ugh, I can’t even handle raw chicken breasts, let alone grinding up my own meat. SHUDDER!
10. Sam | November 11th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Just cook chicken and cut it up in pea-sized bites. Make sure it is moist, do a crock pot or something if you like. You don’t need molars to mush it around your mouth and swallow. Egg loves it and NO GRINDING.
11. Jess | November 11th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Now I am super curious as to whether I too would be grossed out grinding my own chicken. I really don’t know. But frozen ice cube trays of chicken sounds nassssss-tee.
12. megs | November 11th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Oh–I second just giving Sam pieces (small, soft) of meat and you can avoid a)buying processed baby food and b)doing anything particularly gross like grinding meat (SHUDDER).
Hank is 8 months, and today he ate a banana. Like, bit off a piece, chewed it sufficiently, swallowed. He is so much more interested in “finger food” (we’ve only done bananas and avocados and a few other soft things) than purees. He only has his two bottom teeth, and they don’t really come into the picture anyway.
We still give him purees of things that are less easy to give pieces of–apple, etc. And anything he particularly likes. But he’ll refuse pea puree and then eat the sh*t out of the very peas (whole, soft) that I give him.
13. Kristin | November 11th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
The thought of grinding up meat of any persuasion is so disgusting to me…I couldn’t do it for my son ever. So he was a vegetarian until he could reasonable chew or swallow small pieces. Oh my god…to think of it in your freezer in ice cube trays; I am having a hard time with this! You’re a stronger woman than I am.
14. Bunnyslipers | November 11th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
A question to the Jonniker Quorum:
Where do you get your baby food recipes? My endeavours have been very limited so far.
15. Nimble | November 12th, 2009 at 9:29 am
JONKR: You hAZ a Flavor!! (I tried to suppress that but couldn’t.)
@ Bunnyslipers When I was a new mom I bought a book called Super Baby Food. It’s written by Ruth Yaron, an obsessive compulsive woman who has lots of (sometimes good) ideas. If you crave step by step instructions, see if someone will give you a used copy. (I already got rid of mine.) You should know that she is anti-meat.
Mostly what I gathered from rearing two kids is that anything is baby food if it’s unseasoned and mushed up enough. Aim for fruits, veges, whole grains and lean meats.
16. Leah | November 12th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I can’t even deal with the pureed meat in a jar. Since Wombat only needs 2-3 oz. of protein a day (i.e., in one meal), I either leave that job to Simon or give the kid tofu or cheese or cottage cheese…pretty much anything but pureed meat in a jar. That stuff smells almost as bad going in as it does coming out.
17. julie | November 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Do you have Mother Hen organics there? Here it’s called Mere Poule, and it’s fresh frozen baby food. For veggies it’s a rip off, but I always used their meats (chicken, beef, veal, lamb, etc.).
http://bit.ly/3AYoCh
18. ed hardy | November 14th, 2009 at 2:37 am
Agree. It’s a good article that I can apply this for my routine. I loved it, so usefully. Thanks
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed