46 Comments Add your own

• 1. Liz  |  November 15th, 2009 at 10:04 pm

  I’m usually a lurker, cuz I am shy, but I just had to tell you that my grandma’s name is Theresa, but her whole life she’s gone by Bebe (pronounced “Beeb”) because her siblings couldn’t pronounce Theresa. Instead, they called her Baby, and eventually it morphed into Bebe. I’ve always thought it was kind of cute, and she was a successful accountant until she retired and I do believe her business cards read “Bebe.” Don’t worry She will change her nickname later if she wants to!

• 2. Susan (Trout Towers)  |  November 15th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

  I took Sugarplum on a business trip when she was a baby and spent the whole time figuring out how to evacuate her out of tall buildings. I think I may have written my phone number on her in Sharpie.

• 3. Anne L.  |  November 15th, 2009 at 10:33 pm

  My Mom’s name is MaryAnn, but her brother couldn’t pronounce it when he was little, and called her Mibsy. To this day (he is 75), he calls her Mibsy.

• 4. beyond  |  November 15th, 2009 at 10:39 pm

  i think beebs is a very cute nickname. plus, she totally looks like a beebs to me.
  is your fascination with right-wing women so great that you will read palin’s book? (i’m kinda curious myself, but i don’t think i could handle it.)

• 5. Marie Green  |  November 15th, 2009 at 10:42 pm

  Oh, the conservative woman thing? Totally get that. I am so fascinated with McMama’s blog, and not just b/c Stellan almost died about 49 times recently (though ZOMG, so heart-thumpingly scary to get the play-by-play on that sitch), Her point of view, though I agree with approx. NONE of it, is so… captivating. Also interesting: the flocks of woman who follow her and HANG ON EVERY WORD.

  Also, I have been looking forward to Sarah Palin on Oprah for, um, weeks now.

  Love Beebs! It’s so original and fitting for her. We often call our youngest Pooks, which I think is shortened from Pookie which I think we got from that Sandra Boyton book about Little Pookie. It seems so normal to us, but to others Pooks must sound a bit weird.

• 6. Nothing But Bonfires  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:09 pm

  Oh, Snookie is small potatoes compared to the women I knew in Charleston. Let’s see, there was a Way-Way (YES, ON HER BUSINESS CARD), a Rabbit, and several ladies named Weezy. Also, Converse. You know, like the shoe. So yeah, Beebs R might want to move to Charleston when she gets older, where she might as well be Jane.

• 7. Lippy  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:09 pm

  Oh, I hear you on the plane thing. Before kids I was bad enough. I actually count the seats between me and the emergency exits, because if the cabin is filled with smoke, I will still know where the exits are located. I also wear sneakers, so I will have good traction. Now that we have three kids, I don’t think we can fly anymore. How will we get all three out? How? Seriously I need a plan.

• 8. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

  I think you’ve probably got a really good handle on this good mom thing. I’d like to think that I do, too, even if I do refer to my youngest son as Bing Bing McBingenheimer, Esquire, most days. Like every day. OK, I mean hourly.

• 9. Tutugirl  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:38 pm

  Due to a language mix up when I was little and my brother was a baby, his nickname as a child is a commonly known Spanish word. To this day, people who knew him before he was 14 years old call him that, even though he’s officially transitioned to his real name. Those little kid nicknames can stick with you, no matter how ridiculous.

• 10. Sundry  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:53 pm

  You seem to pretty much be one of the awesomest moms I know, so even if you’re 40% less awesome than you seem, you still rock in the mom game. Also, please recreate the cookie experiment using cooked, crumbled-up pieces of bacon, because HELLO.

• 11. Sarah  |  November 15th, 2009 at 11:59 pm

  A very wise nurse once told me that I was a good mom *because* I worried about being one and realized the enormous responsibility of the job. So my guess is that you’re doing Just Fine.

  Also, so sorry to hear that the cookies were just cookies! I’ll see if I can get the magic recipe from Teagen.

• 12. Anyabeth  |  November 16th, 2009 at 1:11 am

  Man I was awesome on plans until having a baby and now I have to have a moment at the beginning of the flight to strategize for crashing. Not helpful (to note, when flying with my mother I will hold her because I am stronger but I will put the mask on baby first so my mom has to get her out if I die). HEALTHY I AM SURE.

  I worry constantly about being a good mom. I hate feeling incompetent about anything and yet just when you think you have it down the kids change all the rules and you are an idiot again.

• 13. Nicole  |  November 16th, 2009 at 2:27 am

  I have a friend whose parents did not name her until she was two (in case you’re wondering, they went with Johanna after all that time). Everyone called and calls her Peanut. It’s actually sort of sweet.

• 14. Lesley  |  November 16th, 2009 at 2:44 am

  The thought of flying with my new son (which we must do in January) makes me sick to my stomach to think about (.which is pretty much every day)…and we don’t leave until the end of January…JANUARY! How will I keep my shit together until then?

  Also…what you wrote about your love for your daughter is EXACTLY what I feel for my son…and I am SOOOOOO AFRAID THAT I AM GOING TO SCREW HIM UP!

  It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my neurosis!!!

• 15. Swistle  |  November 16th, 2009 at 7:30 am

  We have one kid we call “T.I.,” and those are not his initials.

  If the TSA steals your baby I will TOTALLY boycott them.

• 16. Kristin H  |  November 16th, 2009 at 8:30 am

  I know just what you mean about being overwhelmed by the magnitude of being a mom. I was feeling terrified once about the same thing, thinking, I have to teach her respect! And to be kind to others! And to stand up for herself! And the list went on and on. Finally I made a list of all the things I want to teach her and I put it away, because I firmly believe that the mere act of writing something down helps you accomplish it. And I also realized that by being a nice person I would set a good example and automatically instill a lot of the values in her that I want her to have.

  Also. Once we were on a ferry out in the water when Sophie was about 1. She had just learned to walk. She toddled over to the little gate that allows people to get on and off. She grabbed on and started shaking it back and forth, the let go and toddled elsewhere. I thought nothing of it at the time, but a second later one of the ferry guys came over and checked the lock on the gate and gave me this look, you know? Like, what kind of mom ARE you? And I realized what could have happened if that gate hadn’t been securely locked and I just about went into shock. WHAT IF THE GATE HADN’T BEEN LOCKED? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OHMYGOD.

  And I *still* obsess about it to this day. I replay the whole (fictional) scenario in my mind, right down to how cold the water would be when I went in after her and how I search frantically until I find her and she doesn’t make it and then I…oh my god.

  All this to say, I understand your panic over the plane scenario.

  And since I’ve already written a book, I’ll add that Beebs is way better than Snookie.

• 17. Cheryl  |  November 16th, 2009 at 9:05 am

  I’m sorry you’re having a hell of a time wrapping your head around bringing Beebs onboard a plane. I’m even more sorry that this made me laugh out loud. Something I desparately needed this morning.

  Here’s the long and short of it. Once you cross that threshhold and they lock the door, everything that happens next is out of your control. That sounds harsh and it’s not meant to be. It’s just the reality of flying. The more time you spend worrying about “what ifs,” before you go, the less time you have to enjoy the day. The more afraid you are once on the plane, the more likely you are to influence how Beebs responds to this historic first in her life.

  If you can refocus some of that anxiety onto preparing yourself for helping her make it through the pressure changes, the better the flight will be for all of you. Pack well, dear Jonnika, for her sake. There is nothing more heartbreaking than listening to a baby screaming in pain each time the pressure changes during take-off, in-flight, and landing. And watching a frazzled Mom try desparately to soothe her little one.

  And as Kristin H said, since I’ve already written a book here, let me tell you a little story. I love lightning and thunderstorms. I go outside in them daring the gods to strike me while I’m wearing my rubber-soled kicks. I laugh like a little kid because this is a little piece of heaven to me. Guess what I just learned? My mother is terrified of these storms. How could I not know this for over 50 years? She didn’t pass her fear on to me or any of my siblings.

  BTW, she’s also afraid of flying. Something else she didn’t ever let on about when I spent 6 years up in the air as often as I was on the ground.

  Good luck, kiddo. You can do this thing precisely because you are a good mother.

• 18. smilingsherpa  |  November 16th, 2009 at 9:34 am

  You are a good mom. You are a good mom. You are a good mom. My sister and I say this to each other every time we talk because we doubt ourselves so often. Hopefully some day we can all believe it.

• 19. Nimble  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:12 am

  Cookies made with bacon grease?! Why?

  Yesterday my husband told me about his father cooking bacon and then frying eggs in the bacon grease. I told him that’s just too porky for me. Eggs should be fried in butter. He winced and said that would be too much butter. I wonder why our fat preferences are different.

• 20. Gaby  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:15 am

  My sister, Mary, is called Re by most of my family. She was first Re-Re, occasionally Reedle, but mostly Re. She introduces herself as Mary to most people now, including her boyfriend, but to us, she’ll always be Re.

  Re used to call me Dod-din when she was a baby. I…don’t know why. Apparently, that’s what Gaby translated to for her? Luckily, that one didn’t really stick, but I still have a qautrillion nicknames associated with Gaby, so I suppose it’s a wash in the end. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I’ll bet Beebs will feel the same way.

• 21. SW  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:23 am

  I am also TERRIFIED of flying.

  I need to schedule a flight for us to visit my family. The trip requires 24 HOURS IN THE AIR. This will be the first flight we take our 2-year-old on…even the thought of booking the tickets sends me into a panic attack. I have NO idea how I will do it.

  24 HOURS IN THE AIR. TWO YEAR OLD. MULTIPLE PLANES.

  (breathe, slowly.)

• 22. Shelly  |  November 16th, 2009 at 11:31 am

  We used to worry that our daughter wouldn’t know her real name either. Everyone called her by a nickname. In our family, everyone had their own nickname for her, so we figured she was going to be REALLY confused. She’s 7 now, and knows her real name and ALL her nicknames. So don’t worry, I’m sure Sam will know all her names.

  I’ll second the person who said the fact that you worry about being a good mom indicates that you are. And the magnitude of your love for Sam is evident here on a daily basis, so I think you’re doing great!

• 23. Aunt Becky  |  November 16th, 2009 at 12:01 pm

  I call my youngest, my only daughter, the light of my life, “Poo.” Not all whimsical “Winnie the Pooh” or because I don’t like her “poo” just “Poo.” This is bad. Sometimes, I call her “Goo.” Or “Boo.”

  Her name?

  Amelia.

  Her middle brother was “Chubbs” so maybe that was no better.

  Maybe I should shoot myself now before I do any more damage to my children, huh?

  (full disclosure, my nickname per my husband is “f*cuker”, and trust me, it’s actually a pet name. I know, it sounds mean. It’s not. Sometimes, he calls me “baby” instead.)

• 24. Kate @ Life As I Life It  |  November 16th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

  OMG, the nickname thing? Is out of control in my house. My son, Sam, answers to Bugsy, Samo, Samalama & a host of others. My daughter is Zoe but gets called Zipper, Zippy, Zo-Zo (long o sound), Binny, Gracie (her middle name is Grace), Zippy G…the list goes on. She answers to them all too. Even the pets have nicknames.

  And I second the thought that if you’re worried about being a good mom, then you probably are.

• 25. Jess  |  November 16th, 2009 at 1:16 pm

  OK, this has just given me something new to worry about. Torsten is ALREADY a Very Nervous Flier. I can only IMAGINE what he’ll be like once the baby is on there too. And I’m pretty sure that my comforting platitudes about how if you die in a plane crash at least it’s an instantaneous death and you’ll never know won’t help. Hmph.

• 26. laura  |  November 16th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

  I am there with you about PLANES! So last year on our trip to Disney yeah we drove with our toddlers oh and i was pregnant. To be honest it was really fun, who new. Love the nickname. i call my 4 y/o Lou, she could never get MOO out and always sounded like she was saying LOU LOU.( real name is Lily) anywho awesome post!

• 27. jenl  |  November 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

  Just had to share…I have a cat named Beatrice, and I call her Beebs.

• 28. Molly  |  November 16th, 2009 at 3:35 pm

  Our son (6 months old) is quite rotund so we started calling him Bubba the Chubba some time ago – this morphed into Booba the Chooba with a little song we sing to him. Well. He now knows his little song and we unfortunately refer to him as The Booba or The Chooba and now other people are calling him Chooba! Poor guy is going to hate us! (his real name is Grady)

• 29. SwingCheese  |  November 16th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

  Funnily enough, my husband just pointed out that our son probably thinks his name is the Willzer, as that is what we (all, grandparents, friends, etc.) mainly call him. It actually is an improvement from his previous nicknames, Willzebub and Kaiser Wilhelm von Grunt-n-fuss. I guess at least part of his name made it in there.

  Side note: I went to college with a kid named Sporto. EVERYONE called him that, and he’d been called that for so long, he didn’t even remember how it had started. He did, however, know what his given name was, too.

• 30. Ang  |  November 16th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  The fear-of-flying thing – you’re just going to have to learn to fake being calm I think. I personally HATE HATE HATE the dentist – I actually worry about it a few weeks in advance when I’m just going in for a cleaning – but I’ve managed to fake it in front of the kids and it’s one of their favorite places to go! They like the people, the prizes, and the new toothbrushes. So hard to do – but it does work if you can pull it off.

• 31. Carolyn J.  |  November 16th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  Sam will either shed or embrace her nickname in early adolescence – I guarantee it. And there is plenty of time for her to learn her full name after she’s been bad – isn’t that when you’re supposed to use it?

• 32. megs  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:07 pm

  I started calling Hank “bubba” for awhile and then suddenly my partner was also “bubba.” Why? I’m sure there are many things that can be said about how when you have an infant your partner is necessarily de-sexualized and everything becomes about the baby and that is why they were both all of a sudden “bubba.” Said in a baby voice. Sigh. I suck.

  But that didn’t stick around long and he’s roughly 1/3 of the time Henry, 2/3 of the time Hank, but here and there Stellar (middle name, womb nickname). At day care they affectionately call him “Tank.”

  …he’s kind of big. And brawny.

• 33. amie  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:29 pm

  We call the baby “the bubbins” which is from two things – “babinski” and this dry-cleaner in our area called Bibbentucker’s. Between those two, that’s what we call him. When we’re not calling him turkey or muffin or whatever.

  My sister is still known as “beppy” after a nickname our cousin called her because Bethany was too hard. 20 years ago.

• 34. monkey  |  November 16th, 2009 at 10:59 pm

  I sympathise, I’m also an incredibly nervous flyer. Actually, I’m planning a trip to Thailand/Cambodia/Vietnam before I go to business school and I’m preparing myself for the flight NOW. Even though the trip might (depending on whether I get in) be next May.

• 35. Leah  |  November 17th, 2009 at 12:05 am

  1. I’m not a great flyer either, but the best I do is when I’m with someone who’s freaking out even more, because then I NEED to be the calm one. Flying with a baby has served a similar role: I NEED to have my shit together for him, and so, miraculously, I do. Maybe this is the beginning of the end of your fears?

  2. We call Wombat “Beebs” sometimes too (a mutation of “baby” in our case), but it merely one among many nicknames, 80 percent of which are way more embarrassing than “Beebs,” poor kid.

• 36. Rhi  |  November 17th, 2009 at 8:57 am

  My parents always planned on calling me Annie for short. BUT, this one lady at daycare when I was a teeny baby started calling me Rhi, and well…here I am 31 years later.

  (Rhi is not on my business cards, but it’s what everyone in my office calls me. In fact, only people I do not know call me Rhiannon.)

• 37. -R-  |  November 17th, 2009 at 11:05 am

  Beebs! That is too cute.

• 38. The New Girl  |  November 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm

  My fear that my kid would totally fucking KIRK OUT on the plane COMPLETELY undercut any fear of flying. LOL. Hope it works for you the same way.

  I am a super nick-namer. I nick-name almost everyone I know. I don’t even want to write all my kid’s nicknames (which I ALWAYS want to spell ‘knicknames’ WTF?) because I’m paranoid. BUT, I think they are totally sticking.

  Beeber McSteebs? I’m in LOVE.

• 39. Shana  |  November 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  Okay, this is unabashedly political, but, like you, I can’t come up with a good way to dance around it: how can you NOT be intrigued by (IMO) blatantly anti-woman women? I expect it from men, to a degree, but it’s just traitorousness from those lacking a Y chromosome. For cripes’ sake, they’re…arguing against their own rights, freedoms, and interests! It’s deeply puzzling to me, and if they were on what I feel to be “women’s side,” with us constituting 51+% of the population…things would be SO different (for starters, rights, pay, property ownership, government representation more in line with our actual numbers…).

  We called my littlest sister “the baby” until she started grade school (I kid you not, she was SIX when we started using her name), and she knows it now and doesn’t remember her “baby” days. Fear not, Sam won’t be Beebs forever!

  I cannot imagine what possessed you to put bacon grease in cookies. OMG. You culinary daredevil, you.

• 40. cindy w  |  November 17th, 2009 at 4:43 pm

  For the plane: Klonopin. Get the lowest dose you can get (I think it’s 1/2 mg), then cut it in half. Will make you chilled out and maybe a little drowsy, but not unconscious like Xanax. (Of course, I have no idea if it’s contraindicated for breastfeeding, so you might want to check that out first.) Or, you know, just take a Dramamine and knock yourself out and leave the baby duties to Adam.

  I’m a ridiculously bad flyer too. As one of the earlier commenters said, I also count the number of rows between me & the nearest exit, just so I know it in my head. You know, when that whole plane-on-the-Hudson thing happened, one of the passengers said there was a woman with a baby who was climbing OVER the seat backs with her baby in her arms trying to get to the exit, and I thought, “Well, YEAH.” Your instinct to save your baby is probably stronger than the one to save yourself. You’ll be fine.

  Oh, but keep an eye out for those TSA agents. I hear they’re a bunch of baby-stealing assholes.

• 41. Kristin  |  November 18th, 2009 at 4:41 pm

  Beebs is a super cute nickname. We have called my son (real name, Will) “Booters” since he was in the womb. He kicked me hard, constantly for the last three months, and I complained that it felt like he was wearing steel toed boots. Hence, Booters. Some of our friends also call him that. I am less worried about him being known as Booters as an adult than I am about him being called “Wiyam,” which is how he pronounces his name (William).

• 42. natalie  |  November 18th, 2009 at 5:26 pm

  Am amazed… we called (and still call) our older child Beebs, as a variation on baby/bebe/beebee. She’s 3 now and objects to all that cuddly stuff, but I still do it in my head.

• 43. Victoria  |  November 19th, 2009 at 11:16 am

  I totally get you on the planes thing. I stare at the flight attendant whilst they do their safety song and dance JUST IN CASE I might have of missed something important the last time I flew. I have quite often had visions of clutching my children to my chest and hurdling over seat backs just to make it to the exit row. And my husb once told me that sitting in the back of the plane is safest and, whether or not this information is true or not is of no consequence because WOE to the check in person who doesn’t seat me in the last row.

  Lastly, I am also strangely fascinated by ultra-conservative women. I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. And I just recently discovered these uber conservative blogs written by these women who could not be more different from me as well. AND WHOA. Home Management Binder is ALL I HAVE TO SAY. I mean, I kind of wish *I* was that organized. Just do yourself a favor and GOOGLE it.

  Really, really this is my last thing: I’ve read you for the longest time and I’ve never had the nerve to comment. I always felt other people said it way better, funnier, and smarter than I ever could. But I’ve seen the way the innernets have rallied around Anissa Mayhew these last few days and I’d like to be able to give back and to be a part of something larger than just me. And in some small way, beginning to comment on my most loved blawgs is my way of doing that. So anyway, you’re fantastically funny and I love the way you write. Rock on, sistah friend.

• 44. monkey  |  November 19th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  Oh I am just crazy fascinated by the Home Management Binder. Good call, Victoria.

• 45. Kristabella  |  November 19th, 2009 at 3:31 pm

  Beebs! I love it!

  My cousin is Bubba. His real name is actually Steven, but he’s been Bubba his whole life. We still call him that, but he’s Steve to all his friends and at work.

  Also, I know I only know you through this here blog and online and stuff, but I think you’re a fantastic mom. Like someone said above, the fact that you worry about it, makes you an even better mom! Sam, I mean BEEBS, is lucky to have you as her mom!

• 46. Jill  |  November 27th, 2009 at 5:52 pm

  Don’t worry! The TSA baby-stealing fiasco was all a pile of crap! Check it out: http://www.tsa.gov/blog/2009/10/response-to-tsa-agents-took-my-son.html

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