Pig

Oh HELLO. I am here to tell you a very sad story, with an accompanying Very Sad Photo. Because our flights last week! They were the GIFTS THAT KEEP ON GIVING. What, you ask? How can that BE, you are wondering? HOW CAN THAT BE?

Well, if you follow me on Twitter, this is not a surprise. If you don’t, then I have two words for you: SWINE FLU. Yes, my daughter is currently battling the dreaded flu of the porcine variety. IT HAS COME. High fever that popped up OUT OF NOWHERE! Malaise! Stuffy nose! Inability to stay awake for more than an hour without needing to sleeeeep! Fussiness to win some kind of FUSSY COMPETITION.

Let us pause for a moment to laugh at the IMPOTENCE of my FUTILE HAND-WRINGING over getting her the vaccine. The vaccine! That I secured! BUT ONLY HALF. OH HA HA HA. She’s getting the other half next week ANYWAY! OH HA HA HA.

But first! Our Thanksgiving was wonderful! There was some of this:

However, later that same day, we had our first appearance of this, taken earlier today (Sunday. SUNDAY. IT GOES ON FOREVAH):

I don’t know about you, but this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. For real.

And with that, I’ve got to go, because Flubaby could wake at any moment, and once she wakes up the first time, I bring her into bed with me, because HOO BOY, she is not into sleeping alone when she’s this sick, and I can’t say I blame her. I am surprisingly okay with this, given what happened the first day, when the Tamiflu made her so fucking sick that she PROJECTILE BARFED all over my bed. And me. Oh yes, we had Flubaby AND Barfingbaby all at once!

If anyone thinks I’m flying with my child ever again, they are CAH-RAZY. I shall take the train! Or never leave New England again! WHICHEVER!

Happy Monday!

*Dave Matthews

32 comments November 29th, 2009