Womanizer
December 9th, 2009
So! Look, I can’t help myself, I am effing RIVETED by the Tiger Woods saga. The more sordid and nasty it gets, the more interested I become, sick as it sounds. It’s fascinating to me for about, oh, A THOUSAND REASONS, but the way celebrity images are so carefully constructed, despite our tabloid culture, is amazing. Yes, there are many celebs who are overexposed and victimized by the paparazzi and tabloids, but there are several who seem to be shrouded in a cocoon of safety, and the media plays right along, because if they didn’t, they’d be denied access. Tiger Woods was SO PROTECTED by the media, particularly the golf mags, because they needed him. Like, they KNEW he was a dirty dog, and yet they totally looked the other way. FASCINATING.
And then? BADAM! Some shit hits the fan and all bets are off. Michael Jordan. Kobe Bryant. Tiger Woods. It’s FASCINATING. Oh, they were the GOLDEN BOYS. And then … not so much. Incidentally, Angelina Jolie is still protected, and her bizarre hold over the media was explored in a killer NY Times article that I am too lazy to go find, but dude, it makes SENSE and her day of reckoning is COMING.
It’s so INTERESTING, as both an avid celeb-watcher and former-but-sometimes-current journalist. An assload of rules and disclosure and reporting just … ignored, for the sake of access and continuity. Sarah Palin only WISHES she had that kind of protection from our liberal elite media.
The OTHER THING — and I know this is unpopular — is that I think that if you’re going to marry a famous person, particularly a professional athlete or a rock star-type, then you should know what you’re getting into. In other words? Expect infidelity. Sorry. SORRY! I’m not saying it’s RIGHT, but I am saying it’s LIKELY, and I’m not sure, given the insanely INSANE circumstances surrounding certain types of celebrity (rockstars and pro athletes have groupies! And naked women throwing themselves at them ALL THE TIME), that it’s even a REALISTIC EXPECTATION that your husband will be faithful. In addition to the hot naked women throwing themselves at you, there is ALSO the creepy sense of entitlement and sycophantic entourage brought on by a lifestyle of always getting EXACTLY what you want without having to work for it. I mean, marriage is HARD, and if some woman over there in a thong promises an escape, maybe even a better lifestyle, one in which she will never wear her period underwear or nag you about taking out the garbage? A little tempting, but resistible. But HUNDREDS of them, asking nothing in return except the thrill of a dalliance with a celebrity and maybe a little cash? HELLA IMPOSSIBLE TO RESIST, I’m guessing, especially if your lifestyle exploits AND masks your character flaws.
And all of this, for some people, can give them the sense that they are untouchable and, I don’t know, DESERVE naked romps with bethonged floozies, and that if they indulge, they won’t get caught, because bitches, don’t you know who I AM?
But let’s pretend that I went into a celebrity marriage with the knowledge that infidelity was inevitable. OH YES, LET’S. Even *I* would be pissed off that it came out that my husband had no fewer than ten LONG-TERM mistresses. I mean, it’s one thing to take the attitude that Dee Snider’s wife has — that sex with whores and floozies doesn’t matter, and I know this because I watched VH1′s “Rock Star Wives” oh yes I did — but QUITE ANOTHER to have relationships that go on for YEARS behind my CHILDBEARING HIPS, you motherfucker, you.
Incidentally, all of this is something that Adam and I have discussed multiple times and once, it led to a ridiculous near-tears altercation wherein I tried to make him promise on his LIFE that if he ever became a (oh my God) FAMOUS RAPPER, that he wouldn’t give in to temptation no matter how many women threw their underwear onstage, and that he would always love me, stretch marks and all. I should point out that my husband is a technology geek-type who is, as far as I know, in no danger of becoming a rapper of any kind, much less the next Eminem, AND he’s the most faithful guy who ever lived, AND right about now all the men reading are silently thanking God that they are not married to me.
And you know what ELSE? I am immensely irritated by people who claim to be above caring about such things. I mean, I GET that not everyone is all in to pop culture but MAN it really grates my cheese when Twitter is abuzz with a bunch of sanctimonious snobbypants who rant and rave that what Tiger does with his penis is HIS BUSINESS and it is NOT NEWS and how celebrities are JUST HUMAN and OH SHUT UP WE SHOULD ALL BE FOCUSED ON REAL NEWS. And it happens EVERY TIME there’s something fluffy that’s in the news. PUH-LEEZE. For God’s sake, I was a JOURNALIST. And yet? Schadenfreude! It’s what’s for breakfast, lunch AND dinner, and I’m sure it will be in even greater abundance when Miley Cyrus releases her version of Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” because OH MY GOD, SERIOUSLY.
Why yes, my friends, I DID just devote an entire post to Tiger Woods, but everyone in my real life is just plain OVER me talking about it all the time, so here! You get to hear ALL ABOUT IT.
*It’s Britney, bitch.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
76 Comments Add your own
1. Nic | December 9th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
I’m really excited for the day Angelina’s media wall crumbles. I will make popcorn for that.
Do you think this was Tiger’s wife’s first inclination that something was up in their marriage? The man has had at least ten relationships, who knows how many other minor dalliances. She knew something was going on. I love speculating about what is really going on with celebrities.
2. Lori | December 9th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Is this the article in question (re: Angelina Jolie)?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/business/media/21angelina.html?_r=1
Pretty interesting, that.
3. Jess | December 9th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I totally agree. RIVETING. Also, in addition to the general expectation of infidelity that probably comes with marrying a celebrity, I think PARTICULARLY with this guy who is known to be a misogynistic asshole and always has been, that his wife should have gone and perhaps even did go into this marriage with eyes wide open. But who knows?
Also, I was very intrigued by the Angelina thing, so I looked it up and I think I found the piece. Is this it? If so, what exactly is it that makes you say her time is coming?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/business/media/21angelina.html
4. Jess | December 9th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Let me expand on this. Obviously this is pure speculation. But I personally wonder if they didn’t have some type of agreement. Like, she gets tons of money and everything else she wants in exchange for helping propagate his image as the perfect family man. Which is why they’ve reportedly offered her many millions of dollars to stay married to him for another five years? And on his end, his job was to be discreet? And maybe she was so angry because the National Enquirer got wind of the whole thing, you know? So he didn’t uphold his end of the bargain.
Because really, it seems almost impossible for her not to have known.
5. NGS | December 9th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
This author wrote a book called “Brangelina” and he was interviewed on our local radio station and said that he gives the Brad/Angelina relationship 12-18 months before it implodes. If that happens, you might see her get her comeuppance!
6. amandam | December 9th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Oh yeah, I’ve been way into this drama, to the point of having contracted a mild case of TMZ-itis (I crapped out somewhere around the time the Perkins (Perkins?!) waitress came forward with her “revelations” – “Do you want to get laid?” LOLOLOLOL) Tiger as a phenomenon has always interested me and I remember reading years back that he really liked to get his party on with the Vegas ladies. Guess that never changed. His marriage was always a bit of a ? or more to me; something about it struck me as staged from the start. Guess that may also may have never really changed, either.
7. Terri | December 9th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
This whole Tiger thing sickens me. That there are people who so elevate themselves above common decency appals me. The whole hero worship thing….my goodness. I am just so sad about the whole thing. About his children who will leanr way too early what an ass their father is…about their mother who had to know that things weren’t right and even possible contemplated being paid off to stay with him. She who has his children could “take” him for that same amount by walking away from him. If she should accept this bribe money then she is the lowest along with him. And his mother, can you imagine what she feels? There are not enough therapists to go around!
8. Blythe | December 10th, 2009 at 12:34 am
I don’t really get why the celebrities ever marry. Except, I guess, to lend an air of legitimacy to their images and maybe to have babies? But why not just be the George Clooney of golf and have all the ridiculously hot women that you want and get over yourself?
9. Sara | December 10th, 2009 at 3:27 am
I totally agree with you. If you marry someone famous, probably expect infidelity. I mean many or most famous people put some effort into becoming famous. That right there takes some ego. The same sort of ego to lead you to believe that you can cheat on your husband/wife and no one will find out.
It doesn’t surprise me, and it doesn’t anger me. I agree with Blythe. Why bother getting married? No one hates on George Clooney!
10. Raven | December 10th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Thank you for calling out the people that are “above it all”, drives me BATTY!
11. JMH | December 10th, 2009 at 6:59 am
I am with Nic..I will enjoy it will Angelina falls apart in the public eye…I know that is sick and wrong, but she really bugs me.
12. pseudostoops | December 10th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I sometimes wonder when I see such a spectacular celebrity image meltdown what the people involved would have been like had they not become famous. Like, if Tiger Woods was just a golf pro at a country club, or if Kobe had been an insurance agent or something- would they have engaged in such outrageous behavior? I’m not suggesting that the celebrity excuses the behavior, but I have to wonder if you reach some critical point of famousness where the entitlement kicks in- where you’ve become so far removed from non-famous reality that you start to really believe that yeah, this is part of the deal, I get to act like a total philandering jerk with no one ever finding out, and no real consequences even if they do.
13. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 7:46 am
I think if she stays, at this point it’s because of an agreement. But no way do I think they had one at the beginning. I think Tiger’s squeaky-clean image probably translated in the beginning, and she really didn’t know. But … what do I know?
As for Angelina, I think she has a comeuppance coming because she DOES manage her image so tightly. At some point, something will set off the people who have been protecting her — and no one knows what that will be — and they will take a remarkable amount of relish tearing her down.
14. Cheryl | December 10th, 2009 at 8:53 am
It isn’t sanctimony nor self-righteousness that has kept me from following this so-called news. I’ve been a Tiger Woods, the golfer, fan from early on in his career. He has an amazing talent and works his ass off too maintain his edge. We, the fans and the media, put him on that pedestal. I have been a fan of his talent period. I never paid any attention to his media image back then, why would I want to start now?
Here’s what I’ve read: the first articles about his accident, the early headlines about his alleged infidelity, his statement to the press, and one commentary from a journalist, http://www.kansascity.com/sports/columnists/jason_whitlock/story/1613268.html, before I stopped following the media frenzy.
I honestly believe it’s none of my business. Here’s an example of what that means to me. If I read that you were in an accident with your child in the car and charged with a DUI, would it be my place to throw my opinion of you around? Absolutely not. I would be concerned for you and your baby, but I wouldn’t write about it. It’s your story, not mine.
If that attitude is sanctimonious, I’ll gladly wear the label. To me it’s just human decency.
15. A. | December 10th, 2009 at 8:56 am
I haven’t really been following the Tiger story since it broke. Not because I’m above it all, but because, embarrassingly enough, I’m just so disappointed. I guess I’m not surprised, but as a huge Tiger fan, just disappointed. It doesn’t matter who the guy is, and how wholesome or nice or together he is (whether Tiger or MJ or whomever), they ALWAYS cheat. And while I understand your point that’s probably inevitable, it doesn’t make it OK. Be stronger than that, dude. Be different than everyone else. BE A MAN. And with that comes diapers and garbage duty and whatever else. It’s so pathetic, and so obvious, yet with some celebs it still breaks my heart. (And sure, I know women are unfaithful too, but not at this rate or in these numbers.) And no wife should EVER put up with it, even if it’s just “part of the biz.”
16. Shelly | December 10th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I am so glad that you DID devote an entire post to this, because I am riveted, too, and my husband and I have discussed it ad nauseum. We are gleefully snarky about celebrity meltdowns.
And I think, even in a non-celebrity marriage, that I would be much more inclined to forgive a one-night stand than a long-term affair. A one time thing can be a mistake, but a months or years long affair? Nuh-uh.
17. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Cheryl: Thanks for your comment, as I do like it when people disagree with me. IMO, your attitude is FAR different than the people who ARE sanctimonious about it in that they pretend that they don’t CARE about celebrity news because they’d rather be reading Proust.
I will say, however, that I do still consider myself a pretty decent human, despite my interest in this trainwreck. : – )
An accident with my child and a DUI is FAR different than a celebrity having a bajillion affairs and behaving as though he’s too special to get caught . When someone has a legitimate problem like drug addiction or even — EVEN! — in the case of David Duchovny, when it’s an admitted sex addiction? Totally forgiving, and hell yes, they deserve privacy. But if you’re going to behave, as a celebrity, like you’re above reproach and flaunt your affairs and have hootie hai with whoever you want and assume everyone will just ignore it because of who you are? OH HELL NO. Fame, to me, is a double-edged sword. You reap the benefits — the money, the special treatment, the hot Swedish wife — and there is, unfortunately, a price.
And for me, I am FASCINATED by the way his image was carefully — and falsely — cultivated to be that of the consummate good guy, built with complicity from the media. FASCINATING.
And A — I agree, it doesn’t make it right. But I *do* think that the same type of personality that drives someone to become famous is susceptible to temptation. And I ALSO think that the culture of fame breeds it. I mean, look at what fame does to people, honestly. You have no real friends, because everyone is falling over themselves to keep you happy and I think it is VERY easy to lose your sense of self.
But I also think some wives put up with it happily, because of the other benefits they get out of the marriage. And, oddly, if they can live with it, and it’s an understanding they have in a marriage at the outset, then hey, who am I to say it’s wrong? It’s DEFINITELY not for me, but then again, I married a very different personality type.
18. H | December 10th, 2009 at 9:18 am
I, too, find this absolutely fascinating. Celebrity, fame, money and power — it amazes me how many seek these things despite the overwhelming evidence that, most of the time, these things have nothing to do with happiness and fulfillment. Also, every single time a celebrity (and I use that term very very loosely – JON & KATE GOSSELIN!) is interviewed, I wonder what has been going on in the background, what we don’t know and what the interviewer REALLY thinks about the interviewee.
19. Molly | December 10th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I agree that it seems like womanizing and celebrity go hand in hand and it really is too bad. I’m not saying that sports players should be role models but unfortunately in our culture they are and it really sucks that men with such admirable physical talents (Lance Armstrong, Tiger, Michael Jordan, A-Rod etc) always, always turn out to be such bastards.
As far as the rest of the Hollywood set – I have always found it bizarre how just about every celebrity out there has literal “generations” of children, a few from each long-term relationship or failed marriage. I especially love the Grandpa aged celebrity men who have children that are nearing 40 and also 5 year old twins – GAH!!
20. kakaty | December 10th, 2009 at 9:33 am
I’m really not following the story that closely but am pretty sure I know the bullet points. I totally agree with you that marrying a famous person…hell – who am I kidding…marrying a famous MAN…means the wife should assume infidelity and the promise of discretion about that infidelity the man’s part(s). And I think that maybe in this case that was true and boy did Tiger f’up on his side of the deal. When it comes to celebrities I think LeBron James has done the best thing – he has not (and most likely will not ever) marry his long-time girlfriend and mother to his kids. They live together as husband and wfie but he’ll never have media up in his grill about accusations of infidelity.
The one thing about this that strikes me (and so many other stories like it before) is how colossally stupid Tiger was in his actions. I mean, the dude has had decades of media training and some of the best ‘handlers’ in the industry yet he hooks up with known fame-whores and then leaves a text/voicemail trail? What the hell was he thinking? He had everything to lose and was their ticket to their 15 min of fame.
And I swear I’m not trying to be sanctimonious but when this is the lead story in several major news outlets (not the more tabloid-type/populous outlets) for nearly 2 weeks, then there is something totally f’ed up about our media.
21. ali | December 10th, 2009 at 9:41 am
here’s the one thing I just don’t get in all of this. What are ALL THESE EFFING WOMEN looking to get out of this whole scandal? fame? um, do they really want to be famous for being just another hole for Tiger to rest his club (a port in the storm, if you will) money? really? Tiger to come out and say that he LOVES one of them? um, really? did you hear that interview where one of them said she MADE LOVE to Tiger? No, lady, you didn’t make love. You PORKED him. that’s all.
22. Chelle | December 10th, 2009 at 10:04 am
A-to-the-men! Especially the part about Angelina.
23. alice | December 10th, 2009 at 10:17 am
i have to admit, i am usually HIGHLY FASCINATED by these stories, but this time i feel like A.: i’m just so DISAPPOINTED. i should know by now that no famous man is “different,” and that even when every sign points to them being decent and a family man, HAHAHAHAAA just kidding! they’re boning everything that moves! sorry, mother of his children! ARGH. i’ve recently noticed that i maaaaybe have a bit of a, ahem, PERSONAL issue on this very particular subject of infidelity, so i think i am more upset at tiger than anyone who, say, has never met him should be. but UGH. i had to stop paying attention because it was making me lose all faith in all men everywhere to ever NOT FUCKING CHEAT HOW HARD IS IT DUDE I MEAN REALLY.
(um, see above re: taking this too personally.)
24. JudithinNYC | December 10th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Girl, you know how to warm the cockles of an old lady’s heart. I am awaiting Angelina’s day of reckoning with bated breath. (I am usually a very loving and forgiving person but not when this woman is concerned.)
25. The Maiden Metallurgist | December 10th, 2009 at 10:20 am
I do that with my husband too- any infidelity, and car accident, any plot to any Law and Order, CSI, NCIS, you name it we have the “I swear to god if you ever…” conversation. To the point wher he automatically just offers up a pledge never to [fill in the blank]. Crazy. It’s contagious.
26. Jennie | December 10th, 2009 at 11:02 am
You know what pisses me off, it isn’t the infidelity or the porn stars at his own bachelor party or the total disregard for any sense of morals or principles, it’s that it’s rumored he PREFERRED not to be protected. Like, I’m Tiger Woods, I’m above STDs! I’m Tiger Woods! Chlamydia can’t touch me! (Cheat on me, total shame on you, cheat on me and possibly give me herpes, SHAME ON YOU AND GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.)
Yes, it shouldn’t be a surprise (sadly, and it IS sad that this isn’t surprising, it is), but that poor woman. Seriously, to be humiliated on THIS scale. With a child the same age as Kyle at home. I feel for her, I do.
Also, totally agree about all the people who are “above” this. Especially from the people who seem to pick and choose what celeb news they’re above. Doesn’t work that way, to me.
27. Li | December 10th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Angelina’s day is coming… and it won’t be pretty…. meanwhile, you are 100 percent right — Tiger’s belief that he could chosoe these women, have long-term relationships with them, and leave a communications trail in the digital age without getting caught is among the most egregious instances of hubris we’ve seen in a long while.
28. TwoBusy | December 10th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I always wondered why you guys moved to small-town Vermont, and now I know: because it’s the most logical starting point for Adam’s inevitable rise from whiteboy tech nerd to international rap superstar.
You can’t argue with that kind of strategy.
29. samantha jo campen | December 10th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I love you.
That is all.
MWAH!
30. metalia | December 10th, 2009 at 11:31 am
This is far and away the best takedown and analysis of TigerGate that I’ve read. I ask only that if and when Adam DOES become an improbable rap star, I humbly request that he release a single called “Bethonged Floozies (Throwin’ ‘Emselves At Me)”. Please?
31. Tabatha | December 10th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I just recently discovered that my husband — an inner city high school teacher — had been cheating on me throughout the latter part of my pregnancy with our first born up until this past July (so a total of about six months). He had the dirty texts, the emails, the phone calls, all of it. And so I’m STILL fascinated by the whole Tiger thing because I’M LIVING IT except my husband’s not a celebrity. Though it did take a great deal of strength to not lose my shit when I found him playing Tiger Woods Golf on the WII last night — the direct correlation between the two’s behaviours was just a bit much. I wanted to scream “WHAT, IS HE YOUR IDOL NOW?” but I didn’t. I just left the room.
Infidelity happens to everybody. We’re fascinated by it because we either fear it or remember it from either the cheater or cheatee standpoint.
32. melospiza | December 10th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Like you, I’ve been pretty riveted by the Tiger Woodsgate saga. I believe I argued with my MIL not 12 hours ago that hell no, it wasn’t shocking and disappointing–it was totally entertaining, and I wanted more of it, please. It helps that I was never particularly interested in Tiger as an athlete or a father (some celebrities/ celebrity marriages are just so CUTE and heart-warming-seeming that I AM disappointed when they fall apart–but Tiger only ever seemed perfect, not cute.)
But, for a total change of subject: you know who I REALLY want to hear about, and am slavering for a long, detailed, New-Yorker-style dishy article on? Amanda Knox. I mean, horrible. Yet FASCINATING.
33. Brooke | December 10th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I haven’t really read a whole lot about what’s going on, not for lack of caring or being above anything.. I don’t really know why.
Here’s what I don’t get. Why even get married?
34. Susan C | December 10th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I actually work with a number of professional athletes and you are absolutely correct. Expect infidelity. I see the way women throw themselves at these men and I can see where after time it could become difficult to resist. It really is part of their mentality and maybe some weird sense of entitlement. Do the women think it’s possible that their men will cheat? Probably not. However, I’ve seen it proven again and again, so the Tiger thing really doesn’t surprise me at all. I wish I’d been following the saga more closely all along, because I think it’s fascinating! I do believe that when you are in the public spotlight you open yourself up to more scrutiny and the expectation of privacy should be lessened due to your chosen profession. Off to TMZ!
35. Elizabeth | December 10th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
For some reason, I haven’t been paying attention to the whole Tiger Woods hoo ha – there’s something boringish to me about him for some reason. Which obviously makes me totally superior to everyone else ON THE PLANET.
Ah, no, I do love a good celebrity disaster. Can’t wait to read the article about Angelina.
Anyway, this kind of thing always reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: “If you don’t want it printed, don’t let it happen.”
I mean, you did a bunch of totally shady things and now you’re mad people found out about it? The way for no one to find out about it and for no one to talk about it was for you NOT TO DO TOTALLY SHADY THINGS.
36. Nic | December 10th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I saw this link and thought of you. That is a very carefully crafted public image: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b157293_blab_blab_blab_tiger_family_man.html?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_awful
37. la | December 10th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
You don’t buy that some people really don’t care about this and aren’t convinced that it’s any of our business anyway? I’m a former journalist, too, and the coverage of this story and the coverage of the White House party crashers have made me more glad than ever to have left that business.
38. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Of COURSE I buy that people really don’t care about this. OF COURSE. But to pretend that it’s because they are somehow superior and above it is laughable to me. We ALL have dirty little habits and vices, and I’m sure you have a few that I would find distasteful and/or superficial. Judge not, lest thee be judged, in that respect, is what I’m saying.
And as you know, the news IS about what people want to hear, because it is a business, as distasteful as it is to a lot of us, even me. (That being said, I’m eating it up, sorry to say, but not for all of the sordid reasons, but because of the whole IMAGE thing, which is just. so. fascinating to me)
But no, I am not convinced that it’s none of our business. I believe, quite firmly, that making money off of a public image opens you up to scrutiny. Tiger Woods made an ASSLOAD of money off of his golden boy image — the American public bought into it, products were sold off of it, and he made a mint off of it. He’s not selling only golf products, he was selling HIMSELF.
And I am NOT talking about his golf game. Were he just a golfer and a private person outside of that, I’d say yes, well, he’s just making money off of golf — a profession no different than say, an accountant. But he courted endorsements off of his image as a family man. We were lied to, deliberately. I see uncovering that it’s all bullshit as no different than discovering that a product isn’t what it purported to be.
You want to sell an image of being a clean-cut family man? How about you try actually BEING a clean-cut family man.
39. Jess | December 10th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Your last comment reminded me of a column I read recently in the Denver Post about this. The columnist, whom I generally like, hit it right on the head, saying basically the same thing you just said: Tiger gave up his right to privacy when he invited us into his life as a way to make a ton of money for himself. It’s an interesting read: http://www.denverpost.com/ci_13922758
40. Betsy | December 10th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I have been known to be intrigued by celebrity drama, but I don’t really care about the Tiger Woods thing. I think I just don’t care about sports, so there you go. I’m not above it, just…meh on this one.
I do agree that the women that marry these guys should know what they’re getting into. One of the few things I’ve read about the Tiger Woods thing mentioned “his good friend, Kobe Bryant”. That alone should have been a red flag for his wife. Do you really think when those two get together they just hang out and talking about their feelings?
Be sure to let us know when Adam’s album drops. LOL!
41. laura | December 10th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Okay you made my freaking week with this post! I am all over this Tigger crap and love it. ANd now you gave some hope about Angelina YES! Only thing I was thinking about the wife and perhaps this is TMI but god i hope he had condoms!!!! lordy…
42. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Oh and Cheryl, that KC article is a good one, and is ABSOLUTELY TRUE about the media. However, I disagree that his downfall is something we should ignore and/or isn’t interesting. Again, a CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED IMAGE of lies. He did it ON PURPOSE, and he made money off of it. He sold himself out. He’s a fucking billionaire because of it.
43. Kristin H | December 10th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
So do you think it works the other way too? If a woman is famous and marries, does her husband need to expect infidelity? The role gender plays in infidelity is interesting to me. Are famous men more likely to cheat because, e.g. for pro athletes, they’re more likely to be well-known (than pro-athlete women) and therefore they have more opportunity to cheat?
PS: People who proclaim they’re not interested are annoying because if they truly weren’t interested, they would not be part of the conversation.
44. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
And Tabatha, I am just so sorry about your situation. Truly, I am, and please understand that I do NOT think infidelity is acceptable.
Kristin: I’m not sure. I don’t think so, because I don’t think there are hordes of men lining up to lure Angelina Jolie away from Brad Pitt in *quite* the same way. And also, I think that there is some biology involved, in terms of the differences between men, women and sex drive/behavior and natural inclinations. (I KNOW. UNCOOL OF ME.)
And Jess’s article nailed it: Letterman is an OUTSTANDING example of how to handle something. Are we still talking about David Letterman? No. No we are not. Because a) he was up front about it; b) he handled it FAR differently from a PR perspective; and c) He did not build a public image based on being a squeaky clean dude.
45. Lara | December 10th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
This post is my favourite thing on the whole world wide webernet right now.
46. Swistle | December 10th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I could go through line by line telling you every place I totally agree with you, but instead I will just say WOOT. And also that I will be a little sad when Angelina Jolie’s wall comes down, but I agree that it is to be expected.
47. shriek house | December 10th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
You are one of the few — perhaps ONLY — writers who can discuss pop culture items in which I am nominally interested and get me REALLY interested. Smart commentary on public idiocy, when done well, is enormously satisfying, yet occurs so rarely. So, yum, thank you, well said.
Oh and how much do I love that you, too, have had tears and woe over Hypothetical Horrible Spousal Activities. LOVE.
48. Tweets that mention Jonni&hellip | December 10th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by She Likes Purple, Plain Jane Mom. Plain Jane Mom said: Go Read It Today: Womanizer- So! Look, I can’t help myself, I am effing RIVETED by the Tiger Woods saga. The more… http://bit.ly/80ZuO5 [...]
49. Li | December 10th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
seconding the desire of another commenter to discuss and dissect amanda knox! FASCINATING!
50. la | December 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Maybe my feeling that this is none of our business is less about Tiger Woods and more about his wife. As a wife and mother myself, I’m trying to imagine being in her position with the addition of the media feeding frenzy, and it makes me want to barf. Just becasue the way he makes a living may have entiled – nay, invited? – us into his life doesn’t mean we have to accept the invitation when it’s about more than him.
51. Kerri Anne | December 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
It’s honestly interesting to read about so many fans feeling shocked and disappointed re: Tiger and his harem. While being able to appreciate his talent, I always thought Mr. Woods was a bit shady (Um, pun only marginally intended).
I’m Character Flaw Psychic! (Which, not really, but I think I just named next year’s Halloween costume.)
Come to think of it, maybe I’ve just fully embraced your theory that if you give super famous people enough time, they’ll prove they are not so scrupulous as first they may seem. (Though that statement of human nature doesn’t begin and end with the celebs, obviously. Lord of the Flies anyone? ANYONE?)
52. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I’m a wife and mother, too — I know where you’re coming from, but ALSO, in her case, she married a public figure, so to a certain degree, she, too, knew what she was signing up for.
Aside from that, I’m not sure, quite frankly, if the media frenzy makes it any worse. I’m really not — and I’ve thought about it a bit. It’s a pretty hideous situation, and she’s garnering PAH-LENTY more sympathy from it being made public than if it were private. Yes, she’s humiliated, but she’d be humiliated regardless. Maybe she wouldn’t have found about about the kajillion mistresses, but chances are she would have — and did, before this started — discovered at least one, probably more, on her own accord.
53. Leah | December 10th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
What always surprises me is that although celebrities certainly have more opportunities to cheat, I’d think they’d be paranoid as hell because (a) everyone everywhere knows them, so there’s no going to the next town over to have dinner with your mistress and (b) wouldn’t they worry about their mistresses going to the press for $$? If I were a celebrity, I’d be scared out of my mind to do anything even a little bit questionable.
54. Christine | December 10th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Whoa, who knew this would be the next Diva Cup controversy.
I’m shamefully riveted by this, and yet I’m usually the one screaming “shut up” about the fluffier stories. Not because it’s a celebrity’s business, but because I can only hear about Carrie Prejean/Octomom/Brangelina/Tiger so much before my head explodes. As to it being a celeb’s own business, well, they open themselves up to media scrutiny by virtue of being a celebrity, you know?
Now, when they posted the story about Tiger’s wife having to call 911 on behalf of her sick mother, that made me angry because c’mon. BUT then again, I really hate that people replay 911 tapes at all when they feel so private.
I will say that my plan is now to get Tiger Woods a plenty wasted, wake up next to him in bed and simply demand some money to keep my mouth closed. Although in light of the fact that he got some criticism over only dating “Barbies” maybe going over to someone pleasantly plump would help his image
55. norm | December 10th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
If we weren’t both already married I’d probably fling a proposal at you just for the use of the word “bethonged.” I actually couldn’t read past “bethonged floozies” because the tears of laughter were obscuring my screen.
56. Suniverse | December 10th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Delurking to say:
1. I read that Angelina article and it totally makes sense.
2. I know I should be above it [i have many degrees! and actually read! for fun! and seldom watch t.v.! and enjoy classical music!], and yet, like you, I cannot stop myself from digging in when shit like this goes down.
3. My husband and I had a similar conversation, during which he said, “I’ll tell you right now, if I was rich and famous, there is no fucking way I would get married. That just brings trouble.” To my stink eyed look he went on to say, “I mean, I’m already married, to you, and so I wouldn’t do anything NOW, but, if, say, we hadn’t gotten married, then there is no way I’d get married.” Uh huh. I got you.
3.a. I also would not get married in similar circumstances.
4. There was an NPR thing on basketball players wives and the shit they have to put up with. I cannot fathom dealing with that kind of crap.
5. Totally off-topic, but that post you did on the quidditch match? My daughter and I are totally going next time! I miss college!
57. babs | December 10th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
You’ve said EXACTLY what I’ve been thinking… it’s fascinating how Tiger’s image was “managed” for so long. He made millions off his squeaky, clean image without any of these dalliances making it into the press. And then, his whole downfall comes about through his own one-car accident? I call that compelling.
Have you been watching The Good Wife? I can’t stop thinking about it with all the talk of this story.
58. Lawyerish | December 10th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Oh my gosh, I totally agree that if you marry a professional athlete, musician or movie star, you have to know that you’re more likely than not to be cheated on. I mean, you really have to EXPECT it.
This does not mean I approve of infidelity in ANY way, but you just have to look at the facts, and there’s nothing that indicates to me that marrying someone of that ilk means having a secure, cozy family life. How COULD it? As you say, these men have women HURLING THEMSELVES at them 24-7, and many of the guys are on the road more than they’re at home with their wives and kids. It’s just not a recipe for a non-cheaty marriage.
Also, I really want to pee myself every time I think of Adam launching his rap career. OMG.
59. Katrina | December 10th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I have to say that I don’t quite understand the comments about how his wife should have expected him to be a serial philander and that she must have known about it and therefore she is somehow complicit in this. Somehow because she is married to somebody rich and famous she isn’t allowed to be devastated when she finds out he is (spectactularly) unfaithful. When you are in love with someone and that someone stands there on your wedding day in front of all your family and friends and promises to be faithful to you, yeah, you should believe them. We all believed his family man image so why wouldn’t she?
And I really don’t think we can judge anybody else for their reaction to infidelity – staying or leaving, especially when there are kids involved. Marriages are complex things and the forces that pull people together or push them apart are hard to explain. And she certainly doesn’t owe any of us an explanation whatever her choice. If she does stay it won’t be for the money. She’ll be getting money either way. I just feel so bad for her. To find out your husband has been unfaithful must be life shattering but to then have the whole world know about it and the media on your front lawn to boot…shudder. Lets show her a bit of compassion.
60. parkingathome | December 10th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
man, if I didn’t read blogs i would have no idea whats going on in entertainment news. When I started reading this post I was all “tiger woods did what, now?” and now i have to go find stories on it
61. jonniker | December 10th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I’m not sure this particular situation makes her complicit. My comments — and I can only speak to MY comments — were about the culture of celebrity in general, which has been proven to foster … less than faithful relationships, and professional athletes in particular are WELL KNOWN for their philandering. Suniverse’s comment is true — there are a LOT of discussions around NBA wives in particular. The realm of the professional athlete IS rife with groupies and temptation and a culture of indulgence — and, I’m learning, golf is the same.
I cannot say whether Elin had any idea. I can’t speak for her motivations, or what she does moving forward or how she reacts to this situation. But I HAVE to say that his image in the golf community was NOT that of family man, and it’s all coming out now that they knew all this about him for years. She came from that world — how could she not hear the same? I agree that maybe she believed him, but I also believe that if she did, it was with a bit of suspicion underneath the surface, because I do not believe she’s stupid.
That doesn’t mean I blame her for being upset or shocked or anything — no one can blame her for being horrified and humiliated. NO ONE. It just means that I think that yes, there has to be a different expectation and/or set of rules to navigate around professional athletes, and if *I* know that, then how can someone who’s married to one not know that?
This commentary — none of it — is about whether she deserves compassion. She of course does. OF COURSE.
62. CharlieSue | December 10th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
AMEN. Yes, I am interested. And it’s because these people are in the news all the time for ALL SORTS OF THINGS. If you get to be in the news for making a hole in one or winning some championship, you get to be in the news for having multiple affairs. THAT IS HOW YOUR LIFE WORKS. Why is one “ok” and the other isn’t? By the same “it’s his PRIVATE LIFE (whine, meh, meh, meh)” token, his AWARDS and INTERVIEWS and STUPID COMMERCIALS are all out there for me to see so who gets to decide when it gets shut off for my greedy little gossip consumption? (Hint: I get to decide.)
Also- yes! YES! Who marries a famous guy and isn’t the slightest bit worried that he’s doing a bunch of random girls? Shock seems a little… late? Something. I would think that someone with his money would either: a) make a (financial?) arrangement which enables the wife a comfortable life and he won’t embarrass her and he’ll be a perfect family man at home OR b) HIDE HIS DAMN TRACKS A BIT BETTER. AND USE CONDOMS. Sheesh.
(Whoa, I’m obviously not over talking about this either…)
63. Nicole | December 11th, 2009 at 12:15 am
So, about seven or eight years ago (I can’t remember), my brother found his (then) girlfriend in Tiger Woods’ hot tub, drunk, etc. My brother (lamely) tried to get up in his face for “messing with his girl” (oy), and Tiger was VERY nice and mellow, and was like “no, she’s been talking about you all night”, and said “if you hit me, i’m not going to hit you back”. All ended with calm, but Tiger certainly behaved with the utmost respect for everyone in that situation (the girl, my brother, etc.). So perhaps the clean-cut, nice guy image comes from a place of truth, but has been altered over the last decade of fame?
64. angelynn | December 11th, 2009 at 1:57 am
OK, now ‘Every rose has its thorn’ is stuck in my head. Thank you. It’s such a sad, sad song.
65. Kader | December 11th, 2009 at 10:49 am
I don’t know if anyone else saw Tiger’s alleged texts to Rachel U. They are SO sad. He sounds like a lovesick 16 year old. I mention this to point out that, despite his skill as a golfer and what seemed to be skill in promoting a public image, he seems to just be an insecure teenager. I think that that, more than celebrity, is the reason he engaged in so many “transgressions”.
As for Elin, my guess, based on her reaction which appears to have involved throwing a phone and swinging a golfclub at her husband, indicates that she didn’t have a sense of how extensive his extramarital activities were. I’m just saying…
Obviously, I’m watching the train wreck as well. Just can’t turn away.
66. monkey | December 13th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I don’t know, I feel like the same argument can be made of wealthy men generally. It’s not exactly limited to celebrities. The average investment banker/hedge fund manager/partner attorney/plastic surgeon earns enough money to f*ck high-end hookers. Should there be entire categories of men that women ought to expect infidelity from/limit their complaints/expectations? I guess so by that rationale.
My personal take on this (borne from experience) is that high-functioning narcissists can be extremely charming. Men and women who both ambitious and bright (or gifted) tend to have certain personality traits-narcissism and histrionic especially, it seems (they’re crucial to drive). They also tend to be reasonably personable. So it’s hard to separate out the clues regarding their self-centredness when you are otherwise charmed by them. Add in the fact that narcissists frequently lie to themselves about what good people they are leads to a tendency to almost split their lives in half. So to their families the have these devoted fronts that their trusting families buy into until they slip up and are exposed to the dark side. Which usually involves addiction,infidelity…you name it.
67. Trenches of Mommyhood | December 15th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
This is the best post I’ve seen written about Tiger. Coming from someone who knows wayyyyyyy more about the whole situation than I can (admit and) write about. Lemme just say that I’ve known for over 10+ years now that he is a Dirty Dawg.
68. slynnro | December 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Yes, Yes, Yes, and YES!
69. Mauigirl | December 15th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Not only do I wonder whether the woman goes into these relationships with her eyes open, but also the other side of the coin – why do men like Tiger (who must have had these, um, urges, and acted on them, before marriage) even bother to get married? Derek Jeter is hot, and probalby has lots of girlfriends, but he’s not married, so go for it Jeter! I don’t get why these guys get married and then do all this stuff. I also don’t get why he had to pay for sex with prostitutes (which was of course another piece that came out). And yes, I too am fascinated. It’s like watching a car wreck. You have to look.
70. Kristabella | December 17th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
I shouldn’t comment because you currently have 69 comments. Heh.
1) I refuse to ever believe Michael Jordan is/was a womanizer. I still have him on a pedestal.
2) Not all pro athletes cheat. I worked in sports, so I know a lot of decent dudes who didn’t and were committed. But like you said, A LOT do. And the more famous you are, the harder it has to be.
71. uberVU - social comments&hellip | February 18th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by shelikespurple: I flat-out adore @jonniker. Partly for posts like this: http://www.jonniker.com/2009/12/09/womanizer/….
72. jodifur | February 18th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
me too. Totally.
My excuse has been I write for a pop culture blog. But yeah, they whole thing. FASCINATING.
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