Family Snapshot
December 28th, 2009
Oh Christmas, how I am happy to be on THIS side of you, rather than the BEFORE side. I believe it was … three days, maybe? … before Christmas, that my effing toilet exploded all over everything and at one point, without going into details, led to me traipsing through the house with a bucket of water that could only be described as SULLIED. An entire day of plunging and waiting, plunging and waiting, and at one point, I listened to Google Plumber and found myself dumping a large amount of Tide into my toilet bowl. Yes, TIDE. It didn’t work, and I don’t recommend you give it a whirl (OH A TOILET PUN, HOW CHARMING), because it will only result in BLUE sullied water, and multiple trips through the house with buckets of sullied blue water.
But Christmas itself! Oh, man. Samantha has no real awareness of WTF Christmas even IS, but I can’t say it wasn’t fun anyway. And then, two days later, I turned 34. 34! To me that seems objectively OLD. Cougar-like. NOT YOUNG. I mean, it’s my MID-THIRTIES, for chrissake, and any hope I had of retaining age-related envy by anyone under the age of, say, sixty, evaporated when I blew out the candles. I feel 32. I feel EXACTLY 32, and while I realize that’s not a significant difference in any way whatsoever, I suspect that I will feel 32 for many, many years. I would like to stay 32. Old enough to know who you are, but young enough to still be considered youthful and vibrant. 34 is inching out of that sweet spot, is all I’m saying.
I know 2009 sucked for a lot of people. I know it did, and I hate that. But man, for me, it was nothing short of the best yet. I can’t imagine a bad day, week, month or year, so long as Adam and wee little Beeber McSteebs are in it.
I hope you had a fantastic holiday, and are hurtling toward an outstanding new year.
(Edited because I realized it wasn’t clear and also, a comment: Good holy SHIT, these are NOT ALL FOR HER OMFG. These are all the gifts for NINE — no, TEN — people. And three of the gifts are for the DOGS. And some of the gifts are SOCKS and AS SEEN ON TV GADGETS.
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32 Comments Add your own
1. Katie | December 28th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I love the picture of her sitting on your lap, but i have to say the picture of her crouched down behind the dog like that is my fav! we have lots of pictures like that and they never get old
2. Kerrie | December 28th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Holy Shit On A Stick! PLEASE tell me that multiple families have gifts under your tree…because if not…You, my darling, are totally screwed when that kid gets older. There is no way you can go UP from here. Unless, like maybe, each box has…like A sock. A pacifier. A sippy cup. Then I’m okay with it.
3. jonniker | December 28th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
HA HA HA, Kerrie, yes. That’s for three kids and six adults. Sam got like, NOTHING this year, and I’m not kidding. We got her … three gifts? I think? SHE KNOWS NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING.
4. Anne | December 28th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Isn’t it a little fun to stack up presents for a whole bunch of people in one pile like that? It just makes everything seem so HUGE and I love it. Our present pile looked a lot like that before we started the Christmas Travels involved in our five Christmases.
Poor puppy looks so put-upon. She’s touching my tail AGAIN and I’m being NICE. Santa better be showing up for me, is all I’m saying.
5. Christine | December 28th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Oh man do I have nothing but sympathy for you on the toilet front. Youch.
But man is your daughter cute. And Sunny, oh geez, the cute.
6. Marie Green | December 28th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
It should be illegal for toilets to break during Christmas. That’s all I have to say about that.
Also, I can see that Sam and Sunny have a very special relationship!
I’m so glad your Christmas and birthday were great. I am 34 as well, but I have to say I’m stuck, mentally, at 28.
Finally, I too am OVERJOYED to be on this side of Christmas. And now that we are home, my bed? Has never been cozier.
7. kirida | December 28th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
I love the present pile-up, even if it’s for several people and not just one adorable baby.
8. She Likes Purple | December 29th, 2009 at 12:13 am
We got Kyle three gifts and that was too overwhelming for him. He tried to crawl out of the room more than once, so we ended up opening them ourselves (oh man, what we do for our kids, wrap a gift the night before only to unwrap it OURSELVES the next day). But, yes, not many presents for him FROM US at least. From the rest of the family…sigh, let’s not go there.
How do you say nicely on a birthday invite, NO PRESENTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
9. beyond | December 29th, 2009 at 4:47 am
your toilet broke during the holidays? geez.
the photo of sam examining the sunny’s tail is priceless.
i’m 34 too, a few months ahead of you. (how on earth could i be in my mid-thirties?!? how did that happen?)
10. Swistle | December 29th, 2009 at 6:24 am
“Inching out of that sweet spot”—YES.
11. Gaby | December 29th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I love the picture of Sam and Sunny! Also, where did you buy the onesie that Sam’s wearing in that picture? I love the color AND the long-sleevedness of it.
12. jonniker | December 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Gaby: It’s, um, a Carter’s onesie, which is great, but also? It’s THANKSGIVING THEMED, and I think it says something awful and lame like, “Thankful for my mommy!” and has a TURKEY on it. It was $1.99 at TJ Maxx, and Adam gave me so much shit for her wearing it at Christmas, which is NOT THANKSGIVING OMG.
I buy a ton of onesies no matter what they say, because she wears them under sweaters and long-sleeved shirts to keep her belly covered in the winter.
13. H | December 29th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Sam is so cute. And Sunny! Oh, I love her without really knowing her just because she sat so nicely during her tail examination. We had a beagle before our kids came along and she was perfect like that too. She was poked, prodded and, yes, they rode her like a horse. And each of our children, at about Sam’s age, enjoyed opening their mouths to allow her to lick the roof of their mouths because it tickled – and was apparently hilarious!
Hope your 2010 is even better!
14. Assertagirl | December 29th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Aw, so glad you had a great Christmas! We did, too, although it was fairly low-key. Sam is getting so big!
I’ll be joining you in our mid-thirties in January when I turn thirty THREE. GAH.
15. Jen | December 29th, 2009 at 11:17 am
I feel your pain. My birthday is in just days and although I am turning 31, somehow I am still allowing myself to mourn my 20s. Are they really OVER? Sigh.
I just love her crouching behind Sunny. Little Love Muffin!
16. The New Girl | December 29th, 2009 at 11:30 am
That picture of Sam and Sunny is the CUTEST! EVER! PICTURE! I love it so, so much.
Dude. I’m FORTY-ONE. To be FORTY-TWO. And I still feel 32. Geezuz.
Happy new year!
xo
17. Kristabella | December 29th, 2009 at 11:46 am
The photo of Sam and Sunny is awesome! That expression on Sunny’s face is priceless, like he saw a vision of how THIS would be his life for many years to come!
Happy New Year!
18. Kris T | December 29th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
As a pug owner the pic of Sam & Sunny is priceless….pugs will endure soooo much as long as they are appreciated at some point. The pug tail is greatly unappreciated. I hope you and yours hadf a lovely day
19. Kristin H | December 30th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
You should consider every birthday from here on out the Xth anniversary of your 32nd birthday. While people try to do the math in their head, you can steal their food and run away.
20. Mocha | December 30th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Oof, that cuteness! Those thighs! I would love to just chomp on those delightful bits of flesh.
I, too, was hopeful that you were sharing the presents under your tree with like…5 or so families on your block. Sorry, it’s just that we had a sparse Christmas. Ok, so *I* did. On Christmas morning when we doled out the gifts I had one. A really pretty scarf, but still. I spoiled those ingrates I call children.
Ugh! How did I just DO that? How did I turn this around to a pity party for me when I started out wanting to chomp on those baby legs?
Glad you had a merry one. Here’s to many more.
21. Kim | January 1st, 2010 at 9:37 am
(Sorry to post a comment about your writings in other venues here – that’s why I’m whispering – but just wanted to say that I really loved what you’ve had to say regarding the whole fat/fit discussion. Although you seemed not 100% done thinking things through, your good processing helped me process my own thoughts to a greater degree. Even better, you were in the fray on behalf of those you felt could feel hurt or unjustly criticized. I’m here to say, it was great of you. I especially appreciate the way you seemed so willing to go out on the proverbial limb. It was funny to come across the idea in Harry Potter, but the quote goes something like: It’s hard to stand up to your enemies, but it’s even harder to stand up to your friends.” I think you did it lovingly.) Best wishes for the new year!
22. Kim | January 1st, 2010 at 9:40 am
(I was speaking about your comments @ Swistle and @Krisin’s Aqufit site.)
23. New Year’s Survey: &hellip | January 1st, 2010 at 12:58 pm
[...] and how old were you? This year I turned 34. That seems so so super old. I feel sorta like jonniker about 34…I wanna stay 32–that seems a good number. But I did have a super fun time on my birthday [...]
24. leigh | January 2nd, 2010 at 12:26 pm
+1 on Kim’s comment.
Also checking in to say:
Regarding the toilet situation: So sorry! And um, why does this sort of thing seem to always happen to you? Is it because you write about gross better than anyone on the internets?
Regarding Samantha: She is the cutest baby ever.
25. leigh | January 2nd, 2010 at 12:28 pm
And also:
Your captcha is discriminatory to those of us of a certain age who may no longer, ahem, see so well (and who are too vain to actually wear our reading glasses)
26. Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo | January 2nd, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Seriously, that pic with the dog and the LOOK ON THE DOGS FACE?
That needs to be framed or freaking KNIGHTED or something.
27. page | January 2nd, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Sunny’s a trouper, and so are you! Toilets backing up during the holidays should be on some sort of purple-heart type list (please, medal lovers, no flaming!).
In other news, Sam’s the cutest. It’s just ridiculous.
Happy 2010!
28. Beth | January 3rd, 2010 at 9:05 am
Love, love, LOVE the photo of Sam checking out Sunny’s tail! What a precious baby!!
29. leigh | January 3rd, 2010 at 11:42 am
Also checking back in to say:
Sunny!!!
I love him.
30. Jess | January 4th, 2010 at 11:49 am
These pictures kill me. I love you and your family so much. Happy New Year!
31. ali | January 5th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
did google tell you to use a coat hanger too?
because that’s what it fucking had me doing when Isabella clogged the damn toilet.
no. it didn’t work.
32. slim | January 7th, 2010 at 10:18 am
I came over from Swistle’s blog to declare my love for you and now I love you even more.
That is all.
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