The Mystery Zone
January 24th, 2010
We’re going through a bit of a stressy situation over here at chez jonniker that really isn’t worth going into for right now, but on levels of family stresses of the largeish variety is about as mundane as it gets. However, what is frustrating me most about this particular stressy situation is that we PLANNED for it and are WELL PREPARED for it, as much as one can be, and there is no real reason for me to stress at this exact moment. And yet, I am. And do you know WHAT I am stressing about?
The fact that I am not really stressing. Ergo, I am currently mired in a delightful circular pattern of worrying about my lack of worry, because, as I mentioned as recently as last week, I believe that worry is PROTECTIVE, because after all, nothing I’ve really worried about has come to fruition. No no, I am usually BLINDSIDED by things I did not worry about. Then again, there is this dangling bit of irony in that I DID worry about this particular thing, and PLANNED for it so that I did NOT have to worry about it, and here I am! Not worrying about it, except when I am WORRYING about not WORRYING ABOUT IT.
Did you get that? This is why I am unabashedly medicated, friends.
In other thrilling news of the mundane variety, my Wii Fit workouts were becoming a bit too easy, which made me embarrassingly proud until I remembered that they weren’t really designed to be workouts, but were designed to be GAMES, but whatever, Wii! Nine and a half pounds down and STILL THE MII MUFFIN TOP PERSISTS. Up yours! So, like everyone else, I started doing the 30 Day Shred, figuring that meh, it’s 20 minutes, how bad can it be? The answer is: very bad. Very, very bad. Except that it IS only 20 minutes of Very Bad-ness, which is eminently survivable, except at the very end of the first cardio circuit, when I am fairly certain that my FEET, of all things, are going to detach from my body like a faulty set of airplane wheels. And of course, afterwards, when my quadriceps felt like I’d been in one of those World’s Strongest Man competitions and used my legs to help lift a monster truck over my head.
My arms, strangely, are FINE, thanks to daily push-ups and almost eleven months of hauling a small person around, but oh, my LEGS. MY LEEEEEGGSS. A friend of mine is back in town visiting, and after witnessing me literally hobbling up the library steps to meet her, naturally asked what in God’s name I’d done to myself. And when I mentioned the Shred’s 20-minute convenience, she announced that it was PERFECT, then, because then she could do it TWICE a day! Once in the morning and again in the evening! Oh ho Ho HO! She was off to get it right away, then!
My reaction: *blink* *blink* *blink* *blink*
Because really, come on. No.
And finally, two things:
– I am currently engaged in a Maytag-like, uh, discussion-slash-rant about Pampers and how they have RUINED CRUISERS FOREVER. I am enraged, y’all. They “updated” Cruisers to be WORSE than Baby Dry, as if such things were humanly possible, and now, in addition to a truly wretchedly ineffective diaper (LEAKS AHOY), the chemical smell emanating from my daughter’s ass will burn your nostrils off. Tomorrow, I am calling the company to discuss and, in a move I can’t believe I’m making, see if I can get my money back, because I am stranded with $45 worth of diapers that I can’t even use.
This is all somewhat irrelevant except to illustrate to you that I cannot believe my life has come to this. This is the most worked up I’ve been in ages, and it’s about PAMPERS changing the formula (?) of my kid’s DIAPERS and I’m reading this, and my related tweets about it, and wondering where I went wrong. How have I turned into a suburban housewife who’s all RAGING AGAINST THE PAMPERS MACHINE?
– Book Lushes! Oh I know, I beat you over the head with this shit, but you know, the forums are so much fun, and I’m getting some seriously fantastic recommendations in them, from memoirs to vampire novels to the best kids’ picture books. And, a lot of people are wrapping up the first book and starting to discuss it (but if you haven’t, and are nowhere close, that is FINE. You are not behind! It’s just that some people are mysteriously AHEAD!), but most importantly, we’re taking nominations for the next book, and we’re aiming for something a little older, cheaper and available at libraries and in paperback, so if you missed the first one, consider the next! Or if you’re just looking for recommendations in general. We’re your peeps!
I’m finishing The Help tonight, for what it’s worth. After that, I’m returning to the slogfest that is Suite Francaise, as I alternate easy reading with something more challenging, and while it’s interesting, it’s not exactly FAST-MOVING and I feel like I’ll be reading it until KINGDOM COME, although I am emboldened by the fact that I survived The Historian, for which I strongly feel I deserve a commemorative T-shirt.
I hope you have a fantastic Monday and beyond!
*Spoon
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Book Lushes,Nuttin'
34 Comments Add your own
1. Navigating the Mothership | January 24th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
1. Excellent work on the exercise.
2. As a fellow Shred-er, I just have to say: it drives me batty that the workout is more like 27 minutes than 20. Good one, Jillian. Luring us in with your 20 minute promises.
3. The Shred gets easier. Well, easier-ish.
2. rachel | January 24th, 2010 at 9:56 pm
I am so upset about the pampers. We started my son (23 months) on Pampers and then switched to Huggies, I think because of availability at Costco. But then I picked up some Pampers because we ran out in the middle of the night and I was at Target. And we haven’t had a leakage issue, but dear lord….why do they smell so bad? Why can I smell his diapers coming? That smell makes me wonder about what horrible chemicals I am wrapping him in every day. That smell!!
Um…..what I mean is….Yeah, I understand the rage.
3. Melanie Kerton | January 24th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
i have never liked pampers, i am a huggies fan ALL THE WAY they worked great for my son and they are still working great for my daughter!
I am doing the wii fit thing now, and i am so out of shape, that it does indeed feel like a workout….someday I hope to need to get something more challenging!
4. Melanie Kerton | January 24th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
i have never liked pampers, i am a huggies fan ALL THE WAY they worked great for my son and they are still working great for my daughter!
I am doing the wii fit thing now, and i am so out of shape, that it does indeed feel like a workout….someday I hope to need to get something more challenging!
5. Melanie Kerton | January 24th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
sorry about the double comment, still not sure how i managed that
6. Penny | January 24th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Suite Francais! I read that too. It started out good, I thought, and then…yea. Kind of a slog-fest. Still, pretty amazing that the author just kind of started writing it and it was described as some kind of first draft kind of thing, not really in publishable-quality yet they published it anyway. That part is kind of super.
Book lushes is great by the way, thanks for putting that together.
Have not returned to pampers since the babies left the “swaddle me” stage. Older baby pampers are just not right.
7. JCF | January 24th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
1. I loved, loved, love The Help. I could not put that book down and was regularly in a rage at various characters, which just served to confuse my husband.
2. I keep hearing bad things about those Pampers. Gross. I hate disposable diaper chemical smell, so if this is worse? Sorry that happened to you. I recommend getting yourself a dozen and a half Bum Genius pocket diapers and finding the love (and the cuteness!! OMG The Cuteness!!!) there.
8. Ann | January 24th, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Try the Target brand diapers – Up and Up. I was always a Huggies fan, but I think these are just as good and they are cheaper.
9. Blythe | January 25th, 2010 at 1:31 am
We still use the Baby Dry (size six, since my three-year-old shows no intention of ever becoming potty-trained, ahem). We used the same ones when we lived in Germany – same packaging, etc – but the German ones did not have licensed characters printed on them (love Sesame Street but how much Elmo is enough, I ask?) and had no fragrance at all. I thought it was a cultural thing – Americans need to smell minty fresh at all times and the Germans, as you may have heard, don’t worry about it so much – but, now that I think about it, it also probably has something to do with the stricter laws about additives etc in the EU.
Not that this is helpful information to you, except that if you do ever talk to the Pampers people, you can tell them you KNOW it’s possible to make unscented diapers. I’m sure they’ll FedEx you a box from Berlin. (Ha!)
10. Cheryl | January 25th, 2010 at 6:35 am
Finally some honesty about Wii Fit. Everyone around me is so gaga about it I’d become convinced this was for me. Easy exercise. Ya right! Fun exercise. Are you freakin’ kidding me?! And still, I will probably buy the whole schmeer including Wii Fit Plus.
Go ahead and worry. 99% of what we worry about doesn’t happen and I agree with your thinking ~ it’s protective. Just keep your eyes peeled for the blind-siding stuff.
11. jive turkey | January 25th, 2010 at 9:20 am
Wait, what? Something has gone wrong with Pampers?! I was not aware of this, and am ready to chew my arms off because my in-laws just bought us a huge box of Cruisers. If they are suddenly as bad as Baby Dry (which HAR HAR HAR has the most ironic name in diaper history, says my couch and about 8 of my t-shirts), I will shit. (And do that shitting in a Huggies, I suppose.)
12. Mrs. D | January 25th, 2010 at 10:04 am
1. Congrats on the nine and a half pounds!! That is great!
2. I do the worrying about not worrying thing all the time. And then I worry about how ridiculous I am being for worrying about not worrying. It is the Scylla and Charybdis of the mind, I tell you. Horrible any way you look at it.
3. I envy your 30-Day-Shred-Invincible arms. Because mine are jello after the first set of push-ups and shoulder raises. My legs, however, don’t seem to be making any sort of progress whatsoever.
13. Jess | January 25th, 2010 at 10:40 am
I AM JUST LIKE YOU. Worry IS protective, because whenever we are seriously freaked that something is going to go terribly wrong, it never does, ever. The bad things always come slamming out of nowhere, entirely unexpected. But you can’t FORCE it. You can’t TRY to worry in hopes that the worrying will prevent the worst from happening.
Hence, for example, I’m not worried about not being able to get pregnant, except that then I worry that not being worried means that I really won’t be able to. But still, I’m not worried. I’m just in a “we’ll wait and see” mindset. Since there’s nothing I can do about it until we actually start trying, anyway.
14. Raven | January 25th, 2010 at 10:49 am
EA Active for the Wii is where I went when Wii Fit got too easy. That program is a lot more intense and you can move through levels (easy, med and hard) as you progress, you can also add the 1lb weighted gloves to add even more to it.
I really need to get back to it but haven’t felt properly motivated lately.
15. Shelly | January 25th, 2010 at 11:04 am
Oh, the 30 day shred is hell. Just plain old hell.
Book Lushes is the best ever! I am loving. it. Finished The Help over the weekend and I adored it. Laughed out loud several times. Can’t wait to get over there and discuss it!
16. JMH | January 25th, 2010 at 11:22 am
The 30 Day Shred works. Here are my results if you want to check it out:
http://www.bodiesinmotivation.com/2009/02/i-did-it-or-how-i-survived-the-30-day-shred-with-jillian-michaels/
I did the workout every day for 30 days just to see if I could do it. I was HARD, but effective. Good Luck!!
17. Sadie | January 25th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Ha! I have nothing to add re: Pampers< but your post about the 30 Day Shred is timely…I bought it two years ago and did it religiously for a couple months before a wedding I was in. But I never got past Level 1 and I only did it every other day (60 Day Shred, then). Still, it was quite effective.
BUT! I started doing it again on January 2, since I am winter-fluffy right now, and I have been doing it EVERY DAY, and I have advanced to Level 2. and in 3 weeks I have seen a big difference, and lost 7lbs. And, ohgod, yesterday I was dying for a DQ cheeseburger so I did Levels 1 & 2 *in succession.* And today I can no longer lift my arms and I have to slide down stairs on my ass.
18. Jen | January 25th, 2010 at 11:51 am
I am right there with you, completely enraged about the Pampers issue! My husband and I kept commenting about the smell of the diapers and were blaming it on her pee! She’s getting older, we said! More solids, more smelly pee! Now I know it’s those dang diapers. I bought a huge box on clearance at Target not too long ago and I couldn’t figure out why it was on clearance. I should have bought them all, because they were the GOOD Cruisers!
Also, Book Lushes is awesome. I wasn’t able to get the first book from my library in time, but I have high hopes for book 2!
19. Suzanne | January 25th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Oh God, it’s the DIAPERS. The baby has been sick for a few days and I’ve been desperate to figure out why his ass smells like he’s been eating raw sewage instead of just lovely breastmilk. But he’s not smelly. It’s just the new box of Pampers. With their new improved smell of death.
20. Morrigan | January 25th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Jonna, I rarely de-lurk to comment, but I think I’ve been a little bit in love with you ever since you introduced me to the wonderful world of the Diva Cup a couple of years ago. And I think that perhaps because of that intimate bond coupled with your perfect articulation of all things True Blood, I believed we must be kindred. Which is why I am so completely aghast to hear that you are finding Suite Francaise a slogfest.
I actually wept at the end of Suite Francaise knowing that Nemirovsky had been killed before finishing it and that her incredible voice had been silenced. The world actually felt like a darker place to me knowing that. The only other novel to cause me to weep like that was The Mill on the Floss. Please don’t tell me you dislike Eliot; I don’t think I could take it
21. jonniker | January 25th, 2010 at 1:56 pm
HAHAHAHA, Morrigan, fear not. I haven’t made my final verdict on Suite Francaise yet — I’m just honestly struggling, because I find all of the characters so repugnant and unpleasant that caring is a bit of a challenge.
What I DO find interesting about it, however, is the notion that she portrays Jews so hideously. I am really interested in her motivations behind that. Coupled with her personal conversion to Catholicism, it either speaks to self-loathing or a desire/need to deny oneself in light of the horrifying situation that was WWII and the Holocaust.
Either way, and no matter what, I can tell you that I am beyond glad I’m reading it.
22. Kristabella | January 25th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
I know I should comment on other things, other than the last part of the post (I swear! I read the whole thing! Pampers! 30 Day Shred! Worrying!) but Suite Francaise, UGH!
I think once I finished, I liked it. It took FOREVER for me to get through. I actually put it down after the first “book” and read something else. But I think I liked it and it was good.
23. Leigh | January 25th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Go you! 9.5 pounds is great.
Um, my 15 year old is no longer in diapers, but we always used Huggies. I found them superior to Pampers in every way.
Also, I know all about the worrying about not worrying. I have to worry. I am keep the Earth spinning on its axis by doing so.
24. Lori | January 25th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Protective Worrying- I totally get it (and participate.)
25. Caro | January 25th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Delurking to say that I, too, am slogging through Suite Francaise. I’ve only read about 100 pages but I am so tempted to move onto something else. But for the sake of the author and the circumstances under which it was written, I feel like I owe it a chance!! Oh the guilt.
26. The New Girl | January 25th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Oh, raging against the pampers machine. THAT is a classic, my friend.
I just did the 30 day shred today for the first time and I think? I might hurt myself if I continue to do that workout. I feel like my heart can take it and my muscles can take it but my knees? They are like: EFF THIS SHEET, YO.
I don’t know.
GO BOOK LUSHES! (which I inexplicably types as ONE WORD all the time, wth?)
27. Deanna | January 25th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Just wanted to chime in on the Yay, Book Lushes love. It is a great place, and my To-Read list has grown several pages already.
Also, I started the Shred today, and I fear I may not be able to make it down the four stairs off my porch in the morning! The arms are fine-they’ve been carrying TWO babies around for nearly 10 months-but the legs are JELLO. I better lose at least 10 pounds this month!
28. Corinne | January 25th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
I started to Shred again today after two months off – and decided Level 2 was a good idea. Am still wheezing an hour later. Tomorrow could be bad.
29. Erin (Snarke) | January 25th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I finally had to explain to my husband that I do not think that 90% of the things I worry about will happen but I have to worry about them and talk through them anyway because then in the very unlikely event that I am faced with that exact situation I will have A PLAN.
I don’t worry so much about the not worrying though. I worry more that if I’m open about the things I worry about that I will make them happen…only worse. Because the whole universe revolves around my twisted psyche.
I don’t have kids yet but now I know: No no Pampers a-go-go.
30. Morrigan | January 26th, 2010 at 7:58 am
Jonna, I struggled with Nemirovsky’s portrayal of Jews as well. In Suite Francaise I think it is largely a product of self preservation in that moment in history. I’ve been reading some of her earlier works and any criticism there feels more like a critique by an insider.
Most of the characters in the first book are repugnant and it was difficult to feel for them, but the relationships in the second book are more complex and human somehow.
31. mar | January 26th, 2010 at 8:08 am
muahaha! i’m going back to read the comments later, but i just returned my netflix of the shred after neither watching nor participating in it because my wii fit plus is possessed. except i’m not sure that i stuck it in the mail yesterday. maybe i should pluck it back from its neglected status and try it tonight. or i’m possibly insane because your ‘recommendation’ wasn’t exactly glowing. and now i’m talking to myself…
nevermind.
32. H | January 26th, 2010 at 9:57 am
I worry about worrying too. I worry that I worry too much. I worry when there’s nothing to worry about, because surely that means something bad is around the corner!
33. SwingCheese | January 26th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
I always assumed that the worrying I did was a byproduct of a Catholic upbringing, but perhaps it is a female trait?
I always knew that we were the ones who kept the world running smoothly
I love Costco diapers. I have no idea what I’m going to do when we live in a place without Costco…
34. Mary | January 26th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
If you want a harder workout in the same vein as the Wii Fit, try the Wii Sport Active, the one that comes with the resistance bands and the leg holster. That’ll make you sweat and tone!
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