Never Ending Math Equation

April 1st, 2010

One of the fun facts I neglected to mention about the Bitter Days of Fluedom was that in addition to waking up barfing my face off, there was yeast. YEAST! You guys, my doughy boobs returned with a vengeance and so, in addition to fever, puking and general desire to off myself as quickly as possible, my boobs! My boobs! MY BOOBS WERE ON FYAH!

Anyway, honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I had bigger issues, so I barely noticed. But to close the yeasty loop, in the event that this will help someone else with the Endless Pattern of Thrush, I’ll tell you, we kicked it without a second dose of Diflucan OR Nystatin, neither of which were very pleasant to deal with. The Nystatin because it made Sam gag, hork and cry, and the Diflucan because it made her tummy so upset she was screaming for two hours every time she took a dose. So …

Probiotics, y’all! I SWEAR. How crazy hippie is that shit? I hit up the natural foods store, and loaded up on this stuff for me, and the Baby Jarro-Dophilus for Sam. Plus, um, kefir and yogurt, for good measure, like, three times a day, BARELY sweetened with agave only if absolutely necessary, and THE YEAST IS GONE. POOF. IN LIKE 24 HOURS. Die, yeast! DIE!

***

I’m a budgeting wizard — no, seriously, I can squeeze the shit out of any budget and maximize savings like nobody’s business. Honestly, I am SUPER financially responsible, and get a total kick about saving money and … well. It’s a nerdy hobby, but very effective. It’s also a bit consuming, because there are so many opportunities to go overboard, when really, sometimes it’s just not worth it.

The other day I got myself in a totally pointless tizzy because I discovered that each of the three places I shop — or can shop — has the best price on something totally different. Ergo, for me to REALLY get the best price on everything, each grocery trip should be to three different stores, which … seriously, that’s just stupid. I have a baby, for God’s sake, and she’s usually with me. But then it’s so frustrating because sometimes it’s a swing of like THREE DOLLARS AN ITEM. The hummus at two grocery stores is $2 more than at the tiny grocery store (for half a pound), and the deli I like is $5.99 one place, but $3.99 another, and DO YOU SEE HOW THIS COULD MAKE SOMEONE CRAZY?

(Or no? Have you decided that I’m crazy? You have, haven’t you? I don’t blame you!)

Which brings me to something I just haven’t been able to do. Now, this may be shocking, but I don’t use coupons. Are they worth it, or do you find that you just end up buying things you don’t need?

***

Dude, did you guys SEE The Millionaire Matchmaker the other day? With the guy who brought a second girl on their date? And the girl who was all, he wanted to pick me, so it’s only fair that I’m here? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. Oh, how I love that show, you guys. It’s horrible! It’s SO HORRIBLE! Everything about it is horrible, and yet, there I am, parked in front of it on Tuesdays.

However. I have a big problem with Patti Stanger siding with Jill Zarin on the Real Housewives of New York City. BIG PROBLEM. And I’ll admit, I’ve lost a little respect for Patti. And worse? I am genuinely bummed about it, as I am Team Bethenny all the way and it’s … well, it’s impacting my ability to enjoy The Millionaire Matchmaker.

Also? I want to see Kelly’s Playboy spread. Judge me if you must.

Have a great weekend, you guys.

*Modest Mouse

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Entry Filed under: All Riled Up,Food follies!,I Love Television,Pop! Goes the Culture

32 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ali v  |  April 1st, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    My husband is all over coupons, to an obsessive extent. I’m pretty ambivalent with one exception: dog treats. You cab get great deals on those thing, and I have zero brand loyalty because the dogs don’t give a hoot. Granted we have three large mongrels to your one little dog, so the savings may not be as substantial.

  • 2. Sheila  |  April 1st, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Coupons are always for brand names, and in my experience, even with the coupon factored in, the brand name is still more expensive than the generic store brand.

    However, my Grandma is a coupon nut. She’ll do the double coupon thing and then wait until that item goes on sale to buy it, and she can get some great deals. I’m not that organized or patient, but its fun for her, so thats great. Its her hobby. I’d rather just buy the store brand and be done with it already. I don’t mind going grocery shopping, but I wouldn’t call it FUN. The less time I have to spend on it, the better.

  • 3. Jennie  |  April 1st, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    Oh, I need some of your mighty budgeting ways.

  • 4. Sam  |  April 1st, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I just can’t get into the coupons. I have friends who are coupon divas and get all sorts of stuff at CVS (which is a lot of stuff that we don’t use or NEED!) and more power to them. I try to use the ones Kroger sends me, but most of them are not for the stuff we buy. Hello, where are the coffee coupons!?

    I do not judge you for wanting to see Kelly’s Playboy shots. When my friend and I shamelessly indulged in The Girls Next Door on a regular basis, she actually went out and got the Playboy they were in. We were so curious! And I was like, THIS is barely naughty!

    It doesn’t surprise me that Patti has sided with Jill. They’re both pretty similar personalities, and I still LIKE Jill and think she’s pretty. I am actually sad that she and Bethenny are no longer friends. I am too invested in Bravo reality TV!

  • 5. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)  |  April 1st, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    Hard core with the coupon thing here. It takes some time and you do have to hit up a few different places, but I can practically steal cereal and personal care items when combining sales and coupons. Yeah, from time to time, I get something I normally wouldn’t (last week it was a little box of heaven I like to call Oreo Doublestuff Cakesters), but mostly, I shop smart and have been pleased with the savings I’ve experienced.

    (I also makey own laundry detergent and cleaning products, but that’s a whole other bit of Duggar-like business!)

  • 6. Raven  |  April 1st, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    1) I have a hard time with the grocery thing ahead of time because I can’t meal plan for shit. I do know the prices of things off the top of my head though so I know what things to get where based on price, so that helps with the grocery budget.

    2) I want to do coups because the idea of saving appeals to me. I so love a deal! Um…I’m just also sometimes lazy and they seem to be so much work.

    3) I saw that episode and if I were the first girl? OMG! How did she not hit him or dump a drink in his lap? I was SO SHOCKED! It was insane!

    4) I am also so shocked at Jill! I really can’t believe the whole thing. Did you see tonight’s ep? *sigh*

  • 7. Julie  |  April 1st, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Oh my yes, I am with you on the budgeting obsession (not necessarily a fair word, but in my case, not far off point, some would say). And it drives me up the wall and completely over it when the best prices require hopping from store to store to store. I have not yet figured out how to beat it, so it’s nice to know someone share my frustration. Not that I wish the frustration on anybody.

    As far as coupons, I try very hard to read through circulars looking for things I already use. I don’t always succeed (oh, shiny object I suddenly might have to buy at $1 off), but if you like to save a penny wherever you can, it can be effective. More often I forget I have a coupon until after it expires.

    And it always feels good at the end of a shopping trip to see those coupon values come rolling off the total. Cha-ching.

  • 8. Marie Green  |  April 1st, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    I went through a coupon phase but it was short lived. I quickly realized, as someone said, that store brands are cheaper than name-brand-WITH-coupon. We buy store brand of most things already (I refuse to be victimized by brand loyalty!! and marketing!!! Ahem.)

    Also, not sure about your wee town, but in this small town, none of the stores offer double coupons.

    Also, been there with the yeast. We did diflucan and probiotics (but for me only, as the girls were newborns). It sucked. Suuuuuuucked. I’m so glad you found a solution that works (and quickly!)

  • 9. Jen  |  April 1st, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    We did couponing for awhile, and eventually it drove me insane, sorting through the endless piles of clipped coupons, trying to figure out what I should buy each week, and keeping up with expiration dates, etc. I even went so far as to subscribe to The Grocery Game, which recommends what to buy each week based on the weekly flyers and coupons, and oh, it was crazy-making. We’d end up going to three different stores, none of them near each other, and for what? To save a few dollars when all was said and done? Not worth it. Instead, we set a grocery budget, and we just stick to it. We also joined Costco after much debate about whether it was worth it, but so far it’s been a good thing, as we try to only stock up on the thing we need, like diapers, apple sauce, dry pasta, things that don’t expire quickly.

  • 10. Jen  |  April 1st, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    Oh, and I forgot to add that one week while we were couponing, I went crazy for a sale on boxed cake mix, and stocked up on like 10 boxes. We never just have boxed cake mix around, but because it was on sale AND I had a coupon, I had to buy enough for an apocalypse. Ditto barbecue sauce and Zatarains rice mixes.

  • 11. Shana  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 12:09 am

    No coupons. They’re useful if you buy a lot of name brands, particularly a lot of name-brand processed foods, but I don’t.

    Now. Bloodhound Gang reference in discussion on yeasty boobs? High-five.

    Am amused at your amusement at hippie methods of getting rid of yeast. We know what we’re talkin’ ’bout! Sometimes heavy-duty chemicals are required to solve problems, but said requirement is much less frequent than we’re sort of programmed to believe. I’ll pull out the big guns if absolutely necessary, but only then, and am glad you had good luck with the acidophilii. :)

    My mom used to shop at three different grocery stores, and she had four times as many kids as you do. If it’s crazy for you to go to three places, comfort yourself with the fact that there are far, far crazier people out there (and that you’re not related to ‘em).

    Saw one interview with the MM chick, and I had to shut it off. She didn’t seem to respect the men or the women, and had a sort of gross “here are all the ways you’re going to have to change yourself in order to satisfy some rich douche” thing. She also declared that women should straighten their hair, because basically, men only like straight hair, and if you don’t have straight hair, that’s a big reason you likely don’t have a man. I was already thinking she was obnoxious, but that comment pushed me over into eff-you-lady territory. If refusing to relinquish one hour out of each 24 to straightening my ultra-curliness is what it takes to get a guy, I’ll pass on both, because life is already too short.

  • 12. Tessa  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 12:18 am

    I coupon, but only on stuff I would normally buy anyway. And my grocery store doubles (and sometimes triples/quadruples!) the coupons, and I stock up on stuff when it’s on sale and I have a coupon. Therefore, my husband has enough deodorant and soap to last until next summer, should it become necessary. Last week I saved 45% on my groceries stocking up on said soap (oh, and a GREAT sale on diet coke) and I almost high-fived the checkout clerk. She was sadly not as into it as I was.

  • 13. Leah  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 12:21 am

    Totally down with the coupons and I’m even aaaaalmost over feeling weirdly embarrassed about them when, honestly, COME ON, I should be proud because I just got that $1.79 loaf a bread for a buck–booyah!–so I say go for it.

    But! As a fellow deal-crazy person, I’ll pass along the advice that I only allow myself to clip coupons from stores we’d go to anyway, and only for items we’d regularly buy. Because, yes, I’m sure $2 for a jumbo box of kettlecorn is the steal of the century, but I don’t even like kettlecorn.

    The best part about being forced to shop in the next town over rather than at the nearest ghettomart is that there’s a Safeway and a TJ’s right next to each other, for maximum bargain efficiency. Winner!

  • 14. Cheryl  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 7:06 am

    Probiotics rock! All that hippie stuff never really went out of style~our doctors went over to the dark side with pharmaceutical companies.

    As for going to multiple stores, if they’re far apart I’m always doing the math on the gas mileage vs. the savings. Math geek in the house! Coupons expire~nuff said.

  • 15. Sara  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:12 am

    Wow. I’m glad that you guys are better, even with the “hippie” solution. Nursed two kids and never got thrush, thankfully.

    Have to argue about the coupons, though. Did you catch Nightline a week or so ago? Had a segment on “extreme couponing”–one of the people mentioned runs a great website. I have a huge binder of coupons, and save at least 60% when I go to the store. The website is all about people looking at their ads, and then finding the best deals with the coupons. Then you buy a bunch (you can order coupons from a clipping service to get more) so you don’t have to buy it for a while. For instance, I got my dishwasher tablets for about .75 cents a box, and I bought 20 boxes to last me for a year. And they do have coupons for veggies, soy milk, chicken, etc. I don’t want to be a commercial for the website, but if you want it, let me know.

    And I have seen some of the MM, and she is so overbeating! Yikes. I totally haven’t caught up on the Real Housewives, so I don’t even know what is going on there.

  • 16. Life of a Doctor's Wife  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:19 am

    I was AGHAST at that episode! What was wrong with Blondie that she was OKAY with being the tag-along on someone’s date? And why oh why did the brunette chick stay after Blondie showed up at the weird dress-fetishizing session? At least she got some good digs in during dinner. And loaded up on free wine. But I would have said sayonara the instant Blondie showed up.

    I hadn’t heard about Patti taking Jill’s side. I am having a hard time hating Jill, after two seasons of loving her. But I too am Team Bethenny. And I too am curious about Kelly’s Playboy shoot. Particularly after Ramona’s characterization of her boobs as being all wonky.

    Clearly I am much too invested in these people’s lives!

  • 17. Swistle  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:23 am

    I am the same way about grocery stores.

    I usually don’t use coupons. However, sometimes the Target register prints me out a coupon I DO end up using.

  • 18. Sara  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:38 am

    Okay, I was trying to say that Patti on MM was “overbearing”. Hmmm…overbeating? Maybe a freudian slip? ;)

  • 19. Gaby  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:54 am

    I know you live in a tiny town (or at least relatively tiny, based on what you’ve said about it), but do any of your stores price match? Some grocery stores and many of the bigger chain/box stores will match competitor’s flier prices, so if there’s something in the ad that is cheaper than the store you’re currently in AND said store will bring their price down, BAM! You’ve saved yourself money and a trip, all without having to shuffle through coupons.

    Personally, I look at the ads in the Sunday paper, tear out some that relate to what we typically buy, then usually forget I have them in my purse. Awesome technique, no?

  • 20. Jamie  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Sean gets Playboy, so of course I read it every month. Seriously. I love love LOVE some of their interviews. Naturally, I pored over every word of Kelly’s spread (photos, too, I guess) and walked away with a general sense of ICK. The retouching is subtle, but her face and posturing is a little awkward. I think it might be her age (me: centerfold ageist – who knew?!) Also? Disappointing work from Gilles B – not his best.

  • 21. Shin Ae  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 10:36 am

    Oh, huge sigh of relief because I love Bethenny with all kinds of proud love like she is my child, and I’ve been afraid to say so because I try to not weigh in on things like that (as much as I could weigh in, because it’s rare that I don’t have a strong opinion about something) because I do get so upset when I, myself, inadvertently become involved in an Internet drama, and I was afraid it would make people upset, how much I love Bethenny, that is. Because I do think it makes my husband a little upset, or at least perplexed (like, why can’t she shut up about Bethenny, already?). I do like Jill, too, but I think she is wrong about Bethenny. That’s the thing about the New York Housewives…to me, they’re all likeable, each in her own way, even if they are a mess.

    Super excited about the yeast news! How great!

    I’m not the absolute best with money (snort), so take it with a grain of salt, but I try to go with shopping at a couple places where I can get what I need and even out the extra I may pay for one thing by paying less for another. Also, I found I save money if I shop at the nice supermarket, even if things cost more, rather than shopping at Wal-Mart or Target because I don’t go home with a bunch of fun impulse purchases. It sounds like you don’t have that problem, though. I almost never use coupons because I forget to use them at the store. And, I find coupons for things I will actually use are few and far between. My mom does really well with them, though. Before my kids were born and gasoline cost so much, I would go from supermarket to supermarket to get the best prices. I would take my little circulars and coupons and a cooler. I was pretty hardcore. Now, I figure, saving my sanity and gasoline and wear and tear on our (rather old) cars is important, too.

  • 22. Kristin H  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    I clip coupons from the Sunday paper for things we already buy, but that’s it. I can’t do the coupon websites. But I do stock up on things when they’re on sale. One time the bread we buy was on sale for a dollar a loaf and I bought about 10. (Obviously, this is easier to do when you have a spare freezer.) I have also been tempted to try Alice.com for non-perishables, but I haven’t actually made the plunge yet. Every time I go there I think, okay, $11.49 for 64 oz of Era…now is that the same size I normally get? And how much does it cost at the store again? And I just can’t deal, so I end up ordering nothing. I switch over to Facebook or something.

  • 23. Suniverse  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    I very, very seldom use coupons, because I don’t buy the stuff the coupons are for. Every once in a while I’ll get a coupon for something I actually use, like toilet paper, but I usually only try to use it once it’s expired. Way on top of stuff. No wonder I have horrific money skills.

  • 24. Artemisia  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    I, too, am a budgeting nut. I looooove to budget and stretch our money. It is partly out of necessity; our bleeding heart career choices and itty bitty town don’t offer much for salaries.

    I have tried to get on the coupon bandwagon, but have found it mostly ineffective.

    We have moved closer and closer of the past few years to cooking nearly everything from scratch. Most coupons are for processed stuff, so they are no help. When there is a coupon for flour, then I am all over that shit. I also keep an eye on coupons for toiletries, but sometimes generic is still less expensive per unit.

    Sometimes, though, there really are some good deals. So…

    Glad you are feeling better and have, the, um, yeast under control.

  • 25. Sarah  |  April 2nd, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    Oh, I love me some Real Housewives of NYC. I’m so sad about this Jill and Bethenny break-up. There was crying and shouting and oh! pass me a tissue. Jill is being immature and petty, but I generally like her. I hope that they resolve their issues before the season is over.

  • 26. Sam  |  April 3rd, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    My 13yr old just got thrush!!?! and he said:

    1.super painful/itchy, to the point of teary misery
    2. nystatin tastes NASTY

  • 27. Sam  |  April 3rd, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Coupons in the grocery store are frequently on processed crap that I don’t buy. I tend to use coupons on other things like crafty/scrapbooky items where I can get 50% off, or Blood Bath and Beyond 20%.

  • 28. willikat  |  April 3rd, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    OMG you’re a budgeteer and don’t use coupons??? I use coupons, but in moderation. I love Target’s coupons (sorry, I know you don’t have one) and I especially love when, say, peanut butter goes ON SALE and then I use a DOLLAR OFF coupon, and my PB ends up being like ONE DOLLAR. I get the Sunday paper for the coupons. The Sunday paper ends up being free, plus I save money at the grocery store.

    You can print a lot of coupons online. I know you like to be health-mama, and if you subscribe to certain newslists you can sometimes get discounts on good, organic food. I can give you names if you want. Sometimes I’ve saved up to $60, all on stuff I’d normally eat, or wanted to try but didn’t want to pay for.

    However, I’m not super anal about it, so sometimes I have them and sometimes I don’t.

  • 29. Jessi  |  April 5th, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Coupons, yes, I use them. Sometimes it’s cheaper to get the store brand, but many times, not necessarily. I know you can get the best deals by shopping at multiple stores, but then I ask myself “is it worth my time?” So I check out what store has the best deals overall for the week and that’s the one I visit. So I might pay full price on a few items, but not on everything. With that strategy, I stay within budget. (and I only clip/print coupons for items I use or will need.)

    You should see some of these coupon blogs – photos of people’s haul. While it’s inspiring to some degree, I think “WHY do you need 15 boxes of…” That’s when it gets crazy in my mind.

  • 30. Super Mario Galaxy : Toy &hellip  |  April 15th, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    [...] Never Ending Math Equation | Jonniker. [...]

  • 31. Simon  |  April 25th, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    I clip coupons from the Sunday paper for things we already buy, but that’s it. I can’t do the coupon websites. But I do stock up on things when they’re on sale. One time the bread we buy was on sale for a dollar a loaf and I bought about 10. (Obviously, this is easier to do when you have a spare freezer.) I have also been tempted to try Alice.com for non-perishables, but I haven’t actually made the plunge yet. Every time I go there I think, okay, $11.49 for 64 oz of Era…now is that the same size I normally get? And how much does it cost at the store again? And I just can’t deal, so I end up ordering nothing. I switch over to Facebook or something.

  • 32. HERNANDEZJillian21  |  June 7th, 2010 at 3:20 am

    Houses and cars are quite expensive and not every person is able to buy it. Nevertheless, home loans are invented to support different people in such situations.

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