Gives You Hell
April 25th, 2010
HELLO TEAM!
(Wait, are we all not on a team? Are you not on my moving team? Do you want to be on my moving team? Quick! Come wrap some glasses! GO TEAM!)
So, we’re moving. And I am MUCH happier about it, as I suspected I would be once I figured out where we’d be going, and I went back to the area and we figured out where we want to live, etc. etc. SO MUCH HAPPIER ABOUT IT. Thank you for talking me off of the ledge. We found a house! That we love! With a giant yard for pug and baby to roam freely! And it’s so PEACEFUL out there, which is nothing like where we used to live in Boston, and … what a grand idea this is suddenly seeming like. Now, if only I could bring my friends.
Can I please bring my friends? Friends who are reading this, would YOU like to move to Boston?
That remains the saddest part of it all, and REALLY, by me acting okay with the move, it does not mean I won’t miss you. I PROMISE. I AM BEREFT.
MetroWest Bostonians, holler at me! And further, if you see someone who looks like me in the Natick Mall, it could very well BE me! Look at that!
So, that’s the good news. Really! The good news! Other good news: We got some actual sleep in the hotel, as we got a suite, as per EVERYONE’S recommendations, and HOO BOY, it was a NEW WORLD up in this piece. Sam slept! We slept! We woke up in the morning without wanting to die! LOOK AT US GO, SMRT PEOPLE THAT WE ARE. WE GOT THE BABY HER OWN ROOM.
JEENYUS.
At any rate, that’s kind of where the good news ends, and don’t get me wrong, it is all good news, and I will take it served hot, with a spoon and with a hearty helping of pleasure. What is not good news is that I lost my wallet somewhere in MetroWest — err, MetroNorth? What is Lexington, anyway? — and I had to go through EVERYTHANG and cancel all my credit cards and get new insurance cards and put an alert on my credit in case anyone tries to steal my identity and BAH BAH BAH. What perfect timing! Tomorrow we get to ride for an hour to visit the DMV so that I can get a new license and begin the process of reconstructing the flexibility I once had. You know, to leave the house by myself with access to money and the ability to drive.
And this was all happening RIGHT before an in-depth, up close and personal examination of my credit history! HUZZAH.
(All seems to be well. Identity secured, precautions taken, etc. Mess with me at your peril, malfeasance-doers!)
We COULD be moving in like, um, a week. Maybe. On the fast end. Which is insane, but it might happen if the movers can’t do anything later and hello, does anyone have a paper bag for me to breathe into? My whole body aches from bending over and packing and dragging boxes through our once-tidy house, and this afternoon, Sam came royally undone as we packed up a good portion of her room, because there we are, putting her precious possessions in boxes and it’s like, what the hell, Mom and Dad? Where my books at? You said that stuff was MINE and you LIED and … oh look! A toy hammer! All is forgiven.
Well. I also packed all the silverware and had no spoon for my coffee this morning and then later, oh HO HO LATER, Adam went on some kind of CLEANING FRENZY and decided, for reasons that still make no sense to me at all, to dump an entire FAMILY-SIZED JUMBO BOX of Hungry Jack instant mashed potatoes (HUNGRY JACK. Is that supposed to be appetizing? Like a hungry … lumberjack?) down the disposal and added water! HOT WATER. As in, he MADE AN ALARMING AMOUNT OF INSTANT MASHED POTATOES IN OUR GARBAGE DISPOSAL! And they expanded! And blocked the sink!
Which, you know, DUH. And for some reason, he insists that he asked me if this was okay and I guess I said yes, but I was distracted at the time, and you know, I didn’t think he’d put the WHOLE BOX DOWN THERE AT ONCE and I don’t even know why he didn’t just pack them or throw them away or … oh, what’s the use in dissecting it all, really. Just imagine, if you will, having this conversation with your husband:
Me: Is it clogged?
Him, exasperated beyond all belief: OF COURSE IT IS. I AM MAKING A BOX OF FUCKING HUNGRY JACK MASHED POTATOES IN OUR SINK.
Oh, hindsight, you are a cruel bitch. A cruel potatoey bitch.
This certainly puts the mild irritation of two-day old apple juice spilling in your diaper bag into perspective, doesn’t it? (Hint: it smells like a bar floor that’s been mopped with Woodchuck. DELISHUS.)
What’s saving me right now? I’m embarrassed to tell you. It’s … it’s the Glee “Power of Madonna” soundtrack, and y’all, I don’t even LIKE Madonna. It’s Jesse St. James, who I now have a futile crush on, and yes, of course I checked and yes, of course he’s gay and as it turns out it doesn’t matter! I crush anyway! And yet, I checked! EVEN THOUGH I AM HAPPILY MARRIED AND HE IS GAY. You see how these things work?
Me neither.
Hey, have a happy Monday!
*Um. I only have it from the Glee cast, so … Glee cast! Rachel Berry! Wait, you mean there’s someone else?
Entry Filed under: Boston!,Moving moving moving,Nuttin',The anxious anxiety,What the fuck?
43 Comments Add your own
1. Accidents | April 25th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
We are going on a family “trip” (an overnight, one city away) in JUNE and I’m still fretting about the sleep thing. We have just gotten to the point of mostly sleeping through the night (sleeping through the night, mostly, sometimes, and he’s only 14 months!). This will be one night, all in the same hotel room, and I’m sure it will undo everything good that has happened re: sleep until that point. But I guess I have until June to enjoy sleep while it lasts.
2. jonniker | April 25th, 2010 at 10:08 pm
Accidents, I don’t know how to explain to you that you need a suite. Like NEED. MEGA NEED. What … I … HOW DO I IMPRESS THIS UPON YOU THAT EVEN IF IT IS ONLY FOR THE NIGHT YOU NEED A SUITE.
3. samantha Jo Campen | April 25th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
YES YOU NEED A SUITE! We are broke-ass bitches and STILL get a suite when we travel because it pays you back in spades!
Ahem.
You know I’d help you pack if I could. The good news is it will all be over soon. Once you’re there the stress is on YOUR time schedule and you can unpack when you want. What I did was have a blogger I’d never met come over and spend the weekend after we moved in (@jayesel). THAT will get you unpacking in a hurry
4. beyond | April 25th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
i don’t know anything about sleeping in a hotel with a baby, i’m glad it’s jesse st. james and not jesse james you have a crush on… : )
5. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) | April 25th, 2010 at 11:08 pm
I swore to God before sitting down to watch last week’s Glee that I absolutely would not buy the soundtrack because I pretty much get annoyed by most things Madonna, but damn those plucky fake high school kids! Before they were even done singing Like A Virgin (“Come out so we can at least talk about it. Or sing about it.”) I was ripping into iTunes for my copy (complete with a Jesse St. James bonus track! Huzzah!) and now I can’t stop listening!
p.s. – I tossed some turkey gravy down the sink today. Had I known, I’d have swung by with it.
6. leigh | April 25th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Wait. You don’t like Madonna? I am considering breaking up with you.
But, congrats! on getting everything worked out (with lightening sped I might add).
7. Marie Green | April 26th, 2010 at 12:27 am
I’m sitting her sputtering at the thought of YOU being MOVED by… NEXT WEEK?????? I mean… I just… HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Will you have to stay in any sort of interim housing?
Also, the mashed potatoes things is totally something that would happen around here. I can see myself- or my husband- standing at the sink, spraying hot water on the flaky mound, while my (or his) brain is slowly working out the logistics… and *about* the time the flakes are now drain-clogging mashed potatoes, our brains would catch up and be all OH YEAH, I just *MADE* mashed potatoes.
I hope things hop themselves into boxes and you get all moved in a jiffy.
8. Cheryl | April 26th, 2010 at 4:59 am
Who’d a thunk you could make mashers in the sink? JEENYUS! Musta been pretty damn smooth after the garbage disposal got done mashing them for you.
Around here we call Lexington posh and one hell of a location. If you like J Jill, you’ll be happy to know there’s a store right next door in Acton. All of those colonial towns are so sweet with their black shuttered white houses. Great place to grow a kid.
Good luck on the speed move. Eek!
9. jonniker | April 26th, 2010 at 5:40 am
Marie: If we move to this house, no — it’s empty, so we can go right away.
Cheryl: We’re not moving to Lexington — it’s just where I lost my wallet. We’re moving to a town firmly in MetroWest. But I agree, Lexington is SO pretty. And also wildly out of our price range.
10. sassymonkey | April 26th, 2010 at 6:37 am
Moving? In a week? Oy. I shall start stress drinking and sleeping for you immediately.
11. -R- | April 26th, 2010 at 8:14 am
I prefer Finn. Which I know is lame, but I can’t help it! I admit Jesse is a much better singer.
12. Sara | April 26th, 2010 at 8:52 am
ROFLMAO at Adam making potatoes in the disposal! Totally sounds like something I would do.
When I saw the post title, I wondered if you were referencing Glee. Fellow member of the Jesse fan club here. Jesse and Rachel singing “Hello”–loved it. And the Madonna episode rocked!
13. Christine | April 26th, 2010 at 8:58 am
I’ve started watching Glee on Hulu because I couldn’t deal with my husband snorting at it during prime time. I mean, c’mon.
Thankfully no crushes have emerged from Glee I keep my crush to Marshal from How I Met Your Mother. The fact that both Tony and I have seen him full frontal from Forgetting Sarah Marshall makes it all the better.
And dude, the wallet thing is one of my greatest fears. Really. But then, I lost my passport in Tokyo’s airport, and thank goodness for the good people of Japan who turned it into the front desk because otherwise Tony would probably have had a nice relaxing flight and a week or so without me while I worked it out. Who does that? I hypothesize that I lost it while stuffing my face with pre-long ass flight cream stuffed frozen mochis. (They were delicious.)
14. Caitlin | April 26th, 2010 at 9:10 am
Hooray! So glad you found a house!
And, ah, mashed potatoes. Wow. Also: YUM. (NO.)
15. Melis | April 26th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Oh, man – packing, moving, house searching, wallet losing, in-sink potato making. Well, at least you figured out the travel-with-babe sleeping arrangements.
Oh, and this is totally crazy, since I almost never comment — other than to tell you you’d see people wearing polar fleece to a “formal” gathering in VT — and only know you via your blog, but I’m kind of excited to know you’re moving to my area. I moved here several months ago from central NH, and am still trying to meet other women my age in the area to hang out (read: gossip about Glee and True Blood and books and food) with… If I ever get that book club I keep planning started, you are totally invited.
16. monkey | April 26th, 2010 at 11:18 am
I’m from Lexington, and never thought of it as Metro anything, honestly. I didn’t even know about those terms until I read them here.
17. Penny | April 26th, 2010 at 11:34 am
I can not stop singing the “like a virgin” song from Glee, and I do not care for Madonna NOR that song (is it “or”?). In fact, I’m sort of creeped out by the whole song sung by Glee as well, and yet. The song, it sticks.
The mashed potato thing gave me a good laugh, thank you for that.
18. alimartell | April 26th, 2010 at 11:42 am
your move is happening too quickly for me…I can’t even imagine how you are feeling. heh.
19. badger reader | April 26th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
Oh Jesse St. James is awesome, but Mr. Scheuster (or at least his hair and the ability to revolve an entire episode around making fun of it) still holds my heart. Also, the original song is All American Rejects, and is the first song I did not like on Glee. I heart the original angst too much I guess. You are my hero for handling this move like a champ. I so would have lost my shit and just buried my head in the sand and cried.
20. Beth G | April 26th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Yay for finding a house!! We live in Waltham and love it but I work in Westborough and enjoy that area as well.
MA just rocks in general
)
21. Kader | April 26th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Oh the irony. You’re moving 2 towns away from where I lived for 7 years. Oh well. Maybe we’ll be forced to return someday. Who knows.
Anyway, I’m so glad you’re feeling better and that you know where you’ll be. MetroWest is a nice place to live. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.
22. Kader | April 26th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Oh the irony. You’re moving 2 towns away from where I lived for 7 years. Oh well. Maybe we’ll be forced to return someday. Who knows.
Anyway, I’m so glad you’re feeling better and that you know where you’ll be. MetroWest is a nice place to live. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.
23. Kader | April 26th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Oh the irony. You’re moving 2 towns away from where I lived for 7 years. Oh well. Maybe we’ll be forced to return someday. Who knows.
Anyway, I’m so glad you’re feeling better and that you know where you’ll be. MetroWest is a nice place to live. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.
24. Kader | April 26th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
Dude. Sorry.
25. Hannah | April 26th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
I live in MetroWest! I spend a disproportionately large amount of time at the Natick Mall – it’s only twenty minutes from where I live. Congrats on moving to Boston!
26. Kristabella | April 26th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
OMG, I downloaded the Glee Madonna episode soundtrack on Friday night after watching the episode. I love Glee, but when I heard Madonna, I wasn’t all that excited because I don’t really love her. BUT, ZOMG! SO GOOD! The “What It Feels Like For A Girl”? AWESOME!
Congrats on the house! And good luck on the move!
27. halloweenlover | April 26th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
That Glee was the first I’ve seen and my mind is officially blown. Loved it. Want to go back to high school and learn to sing and then be in glee club.
I will be on your moving team! Hurray! I live in Metrowest although I don’t love the Natick Mall, but I do love the fudge cake at the cheesecake factory at the Natick Mall. I also love the organizing loveliness of the Container Store at the Natick Mall, so perhaps I will see you after all. My daughter is almost the same age as your cutie, I think.
A week until moving is crazy, but I’m sure you can do it. Like ripping off a bandaid- quick quick quick!
We once did the same thing with oatmeal. Keep those tins away from Adam.
28. Leah | April 26th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I love you and your madcap adventures.
29. slynnro | April 26th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
AHAHAHA. POTATO SINK!
30. twojams (Shannon) | April 26th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
My lands, this was funny. Was giggling throughout, even reading it a day late and a brief Twitter-conversation short. Good luck with the move!
SMRT, do I note a SImpsons reference there? If so, yay! If not, I am now revealed as a Simpsons-quote-nerd.
31. TwoBusy | April 27th, 2010 at 6:08 am
I’d like to say that I’m not cackling like a madman over the mashed potatoes story, but we both know I’d be lying.
Well played, Adam. Well played.
32. mdog | April 27th, 2010 at 7:44 am
i am laughing loudly and horrifiedly at the image of mashed potato sink goo monster.
also, for the record: *all-american rejects
33. Sarahviz | April 27th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
See you at the Natick Mall then! My stomping grounds! (Meaning I head there EVERY SINGLE day during lunch!)
Let’s set something up to meet IRL once you get settled, m’kay?
34. Debbie | April 27th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Just watched it today (recorded it from yesterday) and it was brilliant (The Madonna Episode) I have been hooked since the very first episode. Jesse St James is the new guy from the other team who has just joined Glee right? Personally I have a crish on puck, minus the mohican of course x
35. Shin Ae | April 27th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
(1) That sounds kind of good. I’m hungry.
(2) Have moved in a week. Totally difficult, and not envying you at the moment. I hope you get to sit down and breathe soon.
36. Rhi | April 27th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
And now I want mashed potatoes.
37. Aunt Becky | April 27th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I would have done the same thing with the potatoes. Except I’d have eaten them.
CAN WE BE FRIENDS?
38. angelynn | April 28th, 2010 at 12:50 am
Congrats on the house. I’m so glad you’re excited about the move. It is insane to change houses let alone change states and do it all while replacing every little thing in your wallet. Wow. Did you at least get to update everything with your new address? I do have to say the potato situation was pretty funny to me today because obviously it wasn’t me.
39. Blythe | April 29th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
1. Give me a Residence Inn over the Four Seasons any day. Separate bedroom, thanks very much.
2. Jesse St. James is my newest TV boyfriend. I would also like to meet his hairstylist.
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41. jenfromboston | May 18th, 2010 at 11:54 am
I live in the Irish Riviera (the south shore) and OMG – you’re moving (er, moved)! I don’t know what town you landed in other than it’s MestroWest, but do you know they call Needham “Breedham”? My friend Suz lives there. You’re only about 20 or so mins from me.
Holla!
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