Pieces of What
June 6th, 2010
Let’s see, let’s see … let’s do quick takes, shall we? Because it’s all just bouncing around my head up in here, and there are so! many! things! I want to talk about, none of which are particularly interesting or post-worthy. How’s that for a fun set up?
1) I can’t believe I’m the mom who takes her 15-month-old to, um, gym class, but there you go. The truth is, I do kind of hate myself when I’m sitting in a circle singing some inane song about CIRCLE TIME! WITH FRIENDS! but dude, it’s with Megan & Lila (love!), it’s out of the house at the PERFECT time of the morning, and it’s cheaper than spending my life savings on cheap jewelry I’ll never wear at Target. And she’s faceplant-caliber exhausted after class (HA HA CLASS, like they learn anything), which is worth every penny right there, although honest to God, I feel SO RIDICULOUS when I’m cheering as my wee child is careening down a makeshift zipline in a plastic swing. Yes, that’s right, a zipline. I don’t know, either.
(A ZIPLINE)
(It was kind of awesome.)
2) At said gym, the one thing that makes me NUTSO is that they never refer to the moms by their names, nor do they even ASK WHAT OUR NAMES ARE. There’s this singsongy introduction, and we all share our kids’ names, but since the age group only goes to 22 months, aren’t … well, aren’t the moms more important? For God’s sake, this is really about US, let’s be honest. It’s OUR sanity on the line here, not the babies’.
We had some shifting of our gym days, and when they called to confirm, they were sure to point out to me that “Lila’s mom” agreed to the other day as well. And though obviously I know Lila’s mom, I was like, WHO? WHO IS THAT? And when they told Lila’s mom that they were switching, they said they were going to talk to “Samantha’s mom,” too, and I’m like, GYM LADIES. MEGAN AND I HAVE NAMES. OR SHOULD I JUST CALL YOU GYM LADY?
3) I do believe that I have finally, and for real this time, given up on Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t see the season finale, nor did I TiVo it, and after hearing of the horror of horrors and what a totally stressful scene it was, I’m just like, really? Really, Shonda? I’m done. I don’t care about Mer, Der, Christina, Owen, Teddy or whoever the eff the next stupidly-named doctor who joins the scene is. I don’t care. I’m finished with you! FINISHED! FINISHED.
4) I am also all set with bathing my child. ALL SET, PLEASE. AND THANK YOU. We’re going through what is very clearly A Phase, but it is an UNPLEASANT phase, one that involves a refusal to have any water on top of her head, which means I can just barely wash it, but conditioning and combing it out? OH PLEASE. At this point, the back of her hair very clearly resembles a NEST of some sort, and isn’t that something we say to be funny? My hair looks like a rat’s nest? HA HA. Hers actually does. The back of it is all tangled and screwy and like, STUFF GETS STUCK IN IT back there. I pull lint out of it on an hourly basis, and I am not kidding, this morning I had a very frustrating moment removing the Velcro arm of a very tiny monkey. There are MONKEYS in my kid’s hair, for crying out loud. MONKEYS.
5) GUESS WHAT STARTS ON SUNDAY? Oh that’s right. TRUE BLOOD. Guess what comes out shortly? MY TRUE BLOOD BOOK. I’m giving away copies this week, so stay tuned! WHOO. Also, I’ll be writing updates throughout the season on Smart Pop’s site, so keep your eyes peeled this season. For my part, I hear that Eric has a new love interest, and while the prospect of more Naked Eric is very appealing, I am strangely possessive over Naked Eric (what?) and am really only interested in Naked Eric with Naked Sookie, even though I don’t even LIKE Sookie that much. How do you even explain this? You don’t.
I also hope Bill is eaten by wolves. Which, given the trajectory of the novels, is not entirely outside of the realm of possibility. (Oh stop, that’s not a spoiler. I only WISH he was EATEN by them.)
6) OH YOU GUYS, WITH THE DINNER SUGGESTIONS. I want to hug and kiss and love on each and every one of you. I have taken them all to deep, deep culinary heart, and have implemented a few of your ideas already. And, in fact, this week is Ground Zero for testing, and I’ll update you as we go. I should also add that explaining the many nuances of Adam’s culinary tolerances is sort of impossible, but that “saucy” does not apply to things that are supposed to have sauce, like pasta.
Ergo, tonight’s meal was pasta with sausage, peppers and onions and it was DELICIOUS, if I do say so. I picked up two links of hot Italian chicken sausage at Whole Foods, chopped it up and sauteed it with some onions and red/yellow peppers, topped off with Trader Joe’s puttanesca sauce in a jar, served over whole wheat rotini. SO GOOD. I sauteed the sausage/veggies during naptime, threw the sauce over it, and just left it on low until dinner, when I boiled the pasta and baked a take n’ bake loaf from TJ’s as accompaniment.
Not that you need any tips from me, much less the Food Douche kind, as YOU are the culinary geniuses, but I almost never make my own tomato sauce anymore, since every blasted can of tomatoes has BPA in it, and I’m also kind of freakish about which jarred sauces I’ll use, because an alarming number of sauces have HFCS in them, which, I’m sorry, what? Tomato sauce and corn syrup, what? GROSS. And also, WHY? Plus Trader Joe’s sauces are almost always delicious and superinexpensive and … oh yum. It was great, and we all ate together at 5:30. Only downside: It was a bit too spicy for Sam, as a lot of our meals are, so she had rotini with butter and cheese, plus fruit.
And yet: highly recommend. Also? Leftovers out the ying yang. WIN.
Happy Monday, y’all!
*MGMT
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Boston!,Food follies!,General jackassery,I Love Television,True Blood
88 Comments Add your own
1. Dr. Maureen | June 6th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Hair monkeys! HAHAHAHAHA!
My babies are bald, so I cannot relate to this,. Jack is STILL practically bald. Seriously, he got clippered two haircuts ago and his head was clearly visible through the sparse little spikes of hair. No chance of monkeys hiding in there.
Monkeys. Snort.
2. Suniverse | June 6th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Do not fret about taking your 15 month old to the gym. I did. Not only that, but I took my 18 month old to PRESCHOOL. Yes. I did. It was the best thing that every happened, because it was a cooperative preschool, so it was super cheap, and it was OUT OF THE HOUSE. LOVED it. Saved my sanity.
What is the BPA in canned tomatoes? Now I’m paranoid.
3. Megan | June 6th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Laaaaaaughing at the gym stuff. What, Sam’s mom, WHAT UP? (I think that’s the work of the new-ish girl–we used to tell our names too, the first few times I went. New Girl doesn’t know the words to stuff yet, you’ll be watching for this this week now.)
Just think of all the $ you’re saving by not buying the trampoline, the swing, the ball pit…oh, wait…
I’m totally putting my foot down and going to TJs this week. J is afraid of it. I may need your help, that place scares me–mostly the checkout counters.
4. Cora | June 6th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Ha! I love that the gym doesn’t call you by your real names. We go to Gymboree and they just refer to us as “grown ups.” We do get name tags, though. So I guess that counts? But I’m right there with you. We will NEVER miss a week because he is SO SO SO SO tired afterwards.
5. Allison | June 6th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
The kids in Maggie’s daycare class all call me “Maggie’s mommy” if they want to get my attention on the playground. I love that!
6. jonniker | June 6th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
Suniverse: Can lining has BPA in it, which is part of that whole BPA IS THE DEVIL! line of thinking these days. I wouldn’t stress about it, except that we eat tomato sauce, um, a LOT. Sam eats it every day, and for me, I’m not so worried, but for littles, I don’t like it. However, I’m not a judgy douche about it, I swear.
Allison: HA! I wouldn’t mind if it were the KIDS doing it, but since half our kids can’t say much beyond, “UP?” and “BALL!” it’s not an issue. But the moms! I never know the other moms’ NAMES!
7. A'Dell | June 6th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Oh yes, all the day care ladies who can’t seem to recall my name just announce my entrance into the room with, “Oh look! It’s Claire’s Mom! CLAIRE! YOUR MOM!”
It’s like, the most obvious I-forgot-your-name crutch ever and it reminds me of men who say things like “Hey…..guy/buddy/man/dude.”
8. SwingCheese | June 6th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
A friend and I once spent about 15 minutes bitching about how we are no longer called by our first names at the pediatrician’s office. Even when I’ve called with a question, I’ve been referred to in the call-back as “Will’s mom”. Drives me INSANE! I’m a horrible feminist, in that I rarely get offended when I should, but this? Angers me every time, in the “I didn’t give up my identity just because I had a child” way.
Or maybe it’s my only child complex, in that I think everyone should know my name. But I also think that my birthday should be a national holiday, with no work
9. Marie Green | June 6th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
I’ve taken “mommy and me” type classes with all of my girls, starting at about Sam’s age, and the moms (or sometimes dad/grandmas) ALWAYS were referred to by name. I actually think you have a good point there, and that the gym could use so (gentle, OBVS) feedback on that. As you said, you are there to meet other MOMS, moms that have kids your kid’s age, so why not facilitate that more??
Also, Grey’s… that finale was REDICK. So totally completely unrealistic. Basically 1 man with 1 gun takes down the whole hospital, and NO ONE tries to stop him. And the SWAT team has him in their sights- shoots him even!- and then just lets him walk away, without following him, so he can go terrorize more people. Also, no one knew where anyone was in the building, and I was all.. um CELL PHONES. Are you telling me that NO ONE had a cell phone??? Anyway, you probably heard all of that elsewhere, but you got me all het up about it AGAIN. (WHY do I keep watching???)
Finally, your dinner made my stomach growl. True story.
10. Pieces of What | Jonniker&hellip | June 6th, 2010 at 11:08 pm
[...] I picked up two links of hot Italian chicken sausage at Whole Foods, chopped it up and sauteed it with some onions and red/yellow peppers, topped off with Trader Joe’s puttanesca sauce in a jar, served over whole wheat rotini. SO GOOD. …Next Page [...]
11. Suebob | June 6th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
When I went mule riding in Yosemite with my friend, the guides told us we would be called by the names of our mules. So it was “Ringo! Stop him from eating lichens!” and “Vegas! Get back on the trail!”
I am mule, hear me roar.
12. Pieces of What | Jonniker&hellip | June 7th, 2010 at 2:07 am
[...] I picked up two links of hot Italian chicken sausage at Whole Foods, chopped it up and sauteed it with some onions and red/yellow peppers, topped off with Trader Joe’s puttanesca sauce in a jar, served over whole wheat rotini. SO GOOD. …Read More [...]
13. Cheryl | June 7th, 2010 at 5:34 am
Jonna STOP with the WF and TJ references! You’re killing me here. I’m nowhere near either and my heart is broken into tiny bits about it already. Now this, THIS move to the burbs where you can have it all! I miss when you lived in VT.
14. Debbie | June 7th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Check and see if a store near you sells POMI tomatoes. They come in tetra-packs and you can get them strained or chopped. They are a bit more than canned but no BPA.
15. Marianne | June 7th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Inspired by your dinner post, I had a whirwind cook fest during nap time yesterday. Made 3 Tamale Pies for the freezer (love Cook’s Illustrated The Best Make Ahead Meals) and I grilled half a chicken, a pork tenderloin, and some sausages. We had the pork that night, we’ll chop up the sausages and add them to pasta or a fritatta or something, and then we’ll have the chicken tonight. That’s 4 meals this week, done!
16. H | June 7th, 2010 at 9:48 am
I’m glad pasta salads and dishes aren’t considered saucy!
17. kalisa | June 7th, 2010 at 10:06 am
pasta with butter & cheese is MY favorite meal.
18. Liz | June 7th, 2010 at 10:45 am
WHAT? Eric has a new (non sookie) love interest! NO!
I mean, um, whatever, I’m like totally not invested in this fictional character dating people (also fictional) that I do not know.
Ahem.
19. Steph | June 7th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I haven’t ever watched True Blood. Apparently I am the only one in the world.
My daughter went through that phase with water on her head. Unfortunately she has fine, blonde hair and if it’s not washed it’s greasy. Stuff doesn’t stick to it because it just slides right off. UGH! Thankfully it passed.
20. Melissa | June 7th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
I just started reading the Sookie books. Need to grab #3 from the library. Also, True Blood Season 1 is waiting for me at the library. We only get DVDs for one week so there’s no way I’ll be able to get through them all.
Yeah, I didn’t have anything of any value to add, I just felt the need to share apparently!
21. Alyce | June 7th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Spray detangler. It will save your life. Or Sam’s (rat’s nest) hair. I think Johnson’s makes a No More Tangles one, but as an adult I am not too familiar with it.
22. Christine | June 7th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
The image of a monkey hanging from Sam made me giggle. So funny.
And for reasons beyond me I did not know that my beloved canned tomatoes contained BPA. I guess I’ma have to start shelling out for Pomi in the cardboard type container (which is supposedly BPA free, but who knows.) BAH!
23. Deb | June 7th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
After TWO YEARS of listening to little girl hysteria the minute I brought out the hairbrush, I finally remembered: OH YEAH. Johnson’s No More Tangles Spray. TWO YEARS. I am a dumbass.
24. slynnro | June 7th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Well, fuckity fuck. I feel like I TOTALLY FORGOT everything that even happened on True Blood last year. DAMN YOU HBO.
25. Life of a Doctor's Wife | June 7th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
I’m very sorry to hear about the hair monkeys. That sounds awful for all involved!
But so glad to hear that your husband’s distaste for sauce has bounds. (I am the only one who cares about the sauce thing, I think.) Not that I am judging – I have a lot of Weird Food Issues, including that I love veggies unless they are cooked and that I have a blanket NO against casseroles. But I am adamantly Pro Sauce and Pro Saucy, so am abnormally fascinated by the idea that someone would be Anti either. I’m going to stop going on about this now, although I am seriously curious as to what the “rules” are regarding sauce/no sauce.
Anyway.
Looking forward to hearing about your food adventures!
26. Kader | June 8th, 2010 at 5:21 am
I had to read the hair monkey paragraph aloud to the whole family. That might have been the funniest paragraph to date, at least as far as Beebs is concerned.
Do you think they’d let Sam ride the zipline BACKWARDS? Perhaps that would help shake some of the detritus loose…
27. jonniker | June 8th, 2010 at 6:28 am
You guys, No More Tangles doesn’t even come CLOSE to cutting it. I know! I know that sounds crazy, but this kid’s hair is INSANE. It’s SUPER CURLY and SUPER THICK, and I have to empty almost half a bottle of it into her hair before it has any effect at all.
Last night I left in about a dime-size dollop of my grown-up conditioner, and it worked. Yes, yes, I put in about $1 worth of effing PUREOLOGY into my toddler’s hair, but what are you going to do?
28. -R- | June 8th, 2010 at 8:28 am
I am stuck on the zip line. A zip line for babies! I cannot imagine what that looks like. It sounds awesome!
29. Mika | June 8th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I second or third the spray detangler recommendation. No strong preferences for a particular one, but they definitely do help with rats nest hair! And monkeys too.
30. marilyn | June 8th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Gah, no one is defending Grey’s here?!!? What about Alex?! And Callie/Arizona! BAILEY! And I do not believe you that you do not care about Christina and are totally over it. Don’t believe it!
Of course it was over-the-top, as that is what they do with their season finales lately, I guess, but there were plenty of sweet moments and heck yeah ones too.
MONKEYS!
31. Swistle | June 8th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
No, no, I TOTALLY want your meal tips, because some of us are a step below even asking for help, and so WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. Because if it works for you, MAYBE IT WILL WORK FOR US TOO.
Elizabeth has fine, non-curly hair, and EVEN SO I often use my own expensive leave-in conditioners because GEEZ. She gets these huge spider-web tangles that are astonishing. I HAVE the Johnson’s leave-ins (the spray and the conditioner), but they’re water guns in the face of Godzilla.
32. Nicole | June 8th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
It’s June and I still don’t know a couple of mom’s names in my younger son’s pre-k. I think of them as Keith’s Mom and Liam’s Mom. At this point, I can’t really ask.
33. Sarah | June 9th, 2010 at 6:54 am
I feel you on the baby gym. I took my 5 mo. old son to baby story time at the library the other day (still working on a post about that!). So you’ll understand how much of a jackass I felt while we ‘danced’ around the circle singing ring around the roses. Me and my son, and all the nannies and their charges. Sigh.
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