Worry
July 7th, 2010
Oy, so OY. Many of you know this thanks to Twitter, but … oh man. Sunny. MAN. I didn’t know they were such high strung little beings, I really didn’t. And you know, all those people who tell you that having a dog is NOTHING like having a baby, let me just say that my dog has been exactly like a child, when it comes to the ass-pain factor. In the last six months, I’ve had more than one sleepless night thanks to the little shit darling, and look, I’m down with my kid pulling this stuff, but my dog is a grown-up. A GROWN-UP. For goodness’ sake, she’s 34 in dog years! She’s MY AGE. The prime of her life!
AND YET.
Without killing you with detail, she had some bloody, uh, stuff, the other night. Then, suddenly it was all blood, and my entryway looked like a small family of rabbits was murdered and then stealthily eaten in their entirety by some kind of predator. At that point, I realized that perhaps the emergency vet might be a good idea, because, well, that’s not normal. It was decided that I would go, because I am totally not grossed out by anything, as it turns out, even copious amounts of blood shooting from my dog’s ass. Even when it gets on my HANDS, for chrissake, it seems I just CARRY ON.
It’s good to learn about yourself, I think.
The vet is in Waltham, which is a large-ish town that is both nice in areas and SO COMPLETELY SKETCHY in others (not unlike the town where I reside, frankly), and while I was thrilled to find out I was in the mostly un-sketchy area of Waltham, I was NOT thrilled to find out that even if an emergency vet clinic is located next to David Ortiz’s house in tony Weston, there will be the sketchiest people you’ve ever seen in your life in there. My GOD, people. There was yelling! Hysteria! BLOOD! Dog blood! Scary people looking VERY ANGRY and like they’re about to cut a bitch! A totally thuggy and terrifying bald white dude who looked like he was THISCLOSE to joining the nearest Nazi organization, if his tattoos were any indication, was in with his girlfriend, her mother and their (oh I am sorry to say this, as I hate stereotyping dogs) pit bull, who had, as it turned out, bitten his fourth victim. Police were involved. Euthanasia was recommended.
WAILING ENSUED. At one point, the girlfriend ran out of the clinic screaming, “BABY MURDERERS!” which, when you think about it, is a bit ironic considering that it was HER dog who bit a kid and … well, there’s no use nitpicking now, is there? Two other dogs came in, one bleeding, one having a seizure, and by this point, Sunny had bled all over the floor and OH, I WAS DONE. SO DONE. What started out feeling like a little kid-free vacation (how sad that a waiting room now holds allure) was quickly turning into a bloody nightmare, and seriously, who expects this at an emergency vet?
Oh, well, as it turns out, apparently everyone knows that they’re scary but me. Lesson learned.
The net/net of all this is that my dog, MY DOG, has stress-induced ulcerative colitis. And while I’m ready to admit that an interstate move is probably stressful on a dog, I am not yet ready to fully grasp how I am supposed to reduce the stress of this dog’s life, which is what the vet tasked us with. Come on. OH COME ON.
Would the lady of the house desire a manicure? Would she prefer fresh beef instead of kibble?
Seriously, people. Seriously! What am I to do? What kind of DOG gets … colitis? FROM STRESS.
I … I’m lost here. And yet, I also feel terrible for Sunny, getting herself worked up into such a state that she just POOPS BLOOD. It’s the lawnmowing that really does her in, is the thing. And yet, short of getting blackout shades on all the doors and windows, I cannot shield her from this reality. REALITY IS HARD, SUNNY. GRASS GROWS.
In other news, swimming lessons for Sam went reasonably well, despite all of my anxiety — we were at a low-grade whimper throughout, but there was no all-out screaming, and for that, I am grateful, and consider it a rousing success.
Gym class, however, took a terrible turn for the worse, when a Russian newcomer spied Sam’s toddler-walk, declared her pigeon-toed, and announced in a heavy accent that “She vill neet leck bresses! From HEEP TO VAIST! That child EES PEEJUN-TOAD! Is VEDDY VEDDY DANGERUSS!”
And then she kind of left. Which was awesome. Thanks, angry Russian Gym Grandmother! We’re all over that shit!
(Except not really, because Sam just learned to walk two months ago, and this is totally normal and FOR THE LOVE, LADY. FOR THE LOVE.)
Happy Thursday!
*Widespread Panic
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Sunny The Pug
41 Comments Add your own
1. Suzanne | July 7th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Oh poor you. And poor Sunny, but mostly poor poor you. My mom’s cat has all sorts of stress-related diseases/conditions (similarly, HOW is that possible? You are a CAT. Your hardest life decision is lie on the bed or lie on the couch?) and they put her on Prozac. For serious. Straight up people Prozac and now she is the most mellow, laid back cat you’ve ever seen. I think she’s taken up jazz music and smoking pot in her spare time.
2. Kate | July 7th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Yeaaah. My dog is on an anti-anxiety medicine. For dogs. And like you said, HE’S A DOG. It is $60 a month and…. he’s a dog. But a nice calm dog, at least.
3. Deb | July 7th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
You hate stereotyping dogs! That’s the funniest sentence I read all day!
I got nothing for the dog/blood/anxiety situation, except – EW.
So! Helpful!
Cats on Prozac = second funniest. Oh, that threw me a thought….we have medical marijuana in my state. Maybe the vet could hook a girl up…although I can’t quite picture the delivery method.
4. Hillary | July 7th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
As the owner of two pugs I just read your post outloud to my husband and we were laughing so hard we were almost crying. Not to demean Sunny’s “issues” because…poor Sunny!…but it just so fits a pug to have anything stress-induced. And having done the emergency vet before (with oriental rugs in the exam rooms no less!) hopefully you got out relatively affordably. When our guy got pneumonia he had his own private nurse. And they insisted on running my credit card for $3k. “just in case.” so $1,500 felt like a bargain. A speedy stress-free recovery to Sunny!
5. Manda | July 7th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Poor dog! If it’s any consolation, my older dog used to have terrible seizures (stress induced) and separation anxiety. He actually ate halfway through A DOOR trying to get out and find me once when I left him for oh, 30 minutes. Our first solution was to get another dog … while it helped HIM, having Juicy just made my life A MESS (he’s a basset hound. While they are cute in a weird way, they are also very stubborn, smelly, whiney, barkey, and all around PAINS IN THE ASSES). Even then he still had seizures, although not as much. The only thing that helped poor old Henry was bringing our baby home. I’m not even lying. In the two years of her life he has had maybe one seizure. it’s like he found his new purpose in life and it is this little girl. He protects her, plays with her, puts up with all her tugging and slapping. WEIRD. But whatever works because there’s no way in hell I’m getting him doggie prozac. Yet.
6. Angie | July 7th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Oh my, I’ve never had such an experience at an emergency vet. They’ve just been empty when we’ve shown up. Apparently, I should be thankful. My sister was given a kitty prozac (or you know the feline equiv), perhaps they have this for dogs, too?
7. cindy w | July 7th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
WTF? ALL toddlers are pigeon-toed. If she wasn’t pigeon-toed, THEN you should be worried. Crazy Russian Grandmother Lady is… well, insane. But you knew that.
And oh lord, poor Sunny. Not that it helps – except that it’s kind of funny – but my 14 year-old cat is on a daily dose of kitty prozac for her anxiety, and OMG I wish I was kidding about that. But she wouldn’t stop peeing on the carpet, and the kitty prozac makes her not pee outside of her litter box, so hey, thanks modern veterinary science! I’ll take the kitty prozac, thank you very much. In liquid form, with the triple-fish flavor. For over $50 a month. (Again, soooo wish I was kidding.)
8. Blythe | July 7th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
I want you to write an entire post in the Russian grandma accent. That made me laugh out loud. Will you do it if I promise to comment in my best German swim instructor accent?
9. Personal Care 101&hellip | July 7th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Worry…
I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog
…
10. -R- | July 7th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
It is kind of cool when you discover you have a previously unknown ability to deal with crises and grossness. Yet you are not actually making me change my mind about not wanting a pet.
I always diagnose toddlers and prescribe complicated medical devices when I’m out in public. I’m surprised you’re not ok with that.
11. Lori | July 7th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Poor, poor Sunny. My husband had ulcerative colitis — it sucks. I’ve never heard of a dog getting it — that’s just weird. I hope they make a doggy steroid to solve that problem. Poor little thing. And poor you at the emergency vet. Why can’t these things ever happen during business hours? Sigh. Hope Sunny feels better soon. My son was a late talker. He understood us, he got his point across, he just had no interest in chatting. Plus, he’s a little shy, so there was no way he was talking to folks in public. You should’ve heard all of the things “well-meaning strangers” diagnosed him with. People are always so, um, helpful.
12. Carla Hinkle | July 7th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
I just … I don’t … I have nothing. Nothing. Bloody dog, um, stuff, and scary emergency vets and $50 a month for kitty Pr*zac … this is why I don’t have a pet, people. Good lord.
13. Becky | July 8th, 2010 at 7:12 am
Our first dog had a bout of colitis and it was AWFUL. None of it happened inside, thankfully, but hoooooo boy was that nasty. Once she started feeling better, though, we started mocking her with the Beatles singing: “A dog with co-liiii-tis go byyyyyy…”
You’ll never hear “Lucy in the Sky” the same way again. You’re welcome.
14. Anne | July 8th, 2010 at 7:52 am
I think my favorite part of this entry about stressed-out dogs, whimpering-toddlers is that you were listening to Widespread Panic while writing it. Hee.
15. Mandee | July 8th, 2010 at 9:03 am
First of all – -bless your heart – and I mean that in the most non-passive-aggressive Southern way possible.
I had to take my Weimaraner to the emergency vet one Super Bowl Sunday and we all got freaked out when the Nigerian doctor started yelling, “STAPLES! STAPLES!” over the wailing of the poor poodle he was working on.
My parents’ weim got more and more neurotic and anxious as he got older and he ended up on Prozac, too. Much more bearable to be around once he was medicated. I can see my 8 year old taking that same path, and it’s driving me crazy.
16. H | July 8th, 2010 at 9:10 am
This week a friend mentioned that a kennel owner she knows uses melatonin to ease fireworks anxiety in dogs over the 4th of July weekend (with permission from the owner and dosage from the vet, of course). If you end up going down the medication path, that might be something to ask about. I’m guessing it would be much less expensive than Prozac. She swears by it. We have gone the over the counter route for a pet before – our previous dog took glucosamine rather than expensive joint medication and it worked great.
I love my dog, really I do, but I agree about the level of effort and stress involved. Yesterday I had to induce vomiting (with direction from the vet) because our dog ate ANOTHER pair of underwear and it was vomit or potential bowel obstruction.
Good luck with Sunny! I feel for both of you!
17. Melissa | July 8th, 2010 at 10:03 am
I have a neurotic dog and she gets a melatonin daily, dropped into her breakfast bowl. I try to stock up when they’re on sale buy-one-get-one. It’s something you could talk to your vet about anyway – who knows if it would help Sunny.
Hope she’s stress-free soon, so you can be!
18. Jamie | July 8th, 2010 at 10:27 am
Someday, when we meet in person, I will regale you with all my stories of being at the emergency vet on the west side of Chicago – tears (human), bloodshed (canine), seizures, a homeless man with a mouth-foaming-husky, a beagle who was running himself into a wall, YOU NAME IT, it was there.
(actually the beagle made me really sad)
Glad to hear you all made it through OK.
19. Nicole | July 8th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Sorry about your dog and the, um, emergency drama. Sometimes people just scare me, you know? I don’t like to stereotype dogs either but it seems to me that most – most, not all – of pit bull owners are, um, like that. My neighbour has one – who is a very good, well-behaved, 14 year old pit bull – and my neighbour is also an avid hunter who walks around shirtless and flabby and who once kept a field dressed deer in his yard for an entire summer. And I live in a city. Anyway.
Also, for some reason some people must always comment on your child in some weird and negative way and I just wonder what their lives are like, that they have to be so weird.
20. Diana | July 8th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
As a pigeon toed American, I would like to set the Russian busybody straight! I have never needed or worn legbraces and while I am not exactly the most graceful creature (deer on ice) my pigeon toed-ness has never presented any danger.
Side note: my SIL recently photographed me, my brother and my nephew walking away to document our collective pigeon toed-ness. We apparently all walk alike.
Oh and I hope dear Sunny adjusts – poor gal.
21. Joe | July 8th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Sorry about Sunny, but holy (bloody) crap, this post was funny.
22. Li | July 8th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
try the Tufts vet school animal hospital’s ER the next time you need an emergency vet. i hear it is far less sketchy than many other places.
Beyond that — so sorry that happened to Sunny and to you!
23. Christine | July 8th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Oh dear, we did the emergency vet when we first got Ninja, and it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t nearly as dramatic.
Poor Sunny. Did your vet suggest any anti-anxiety type meds? I know someone whose cat is on Prozac (or similar) maybe something for the pup? I mean, it’s got to be better than blood shooting out of her ass, no?
24. Thesaurus | July 8th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Poor you and poor Sunny. Have you considered Rescue Remedy for Sunny’s stress? http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm. Sounds mad I know but it really does make a difference – and has got to be better than Prozac!
25. Barnmaven | July 8th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
And here I was going to jump in and smartly suggest Doggie Prozac to show off what a know-it-all I am…but of course someone suggested it on the FIRST RESPONSE. That’s what I get for coming late to the party.
Good luck with her…I feel bad for the poor thing. Colitis sucks for people, can’t imagine how it feels for dogs.
26. mar | July 8th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
poor, poor sunny! i was diagnosed with colitis when i was 20 (oh, 11 years ago) and i know it’s no fun at allo, but poor doggy not knowing what’s going on. i don’t know pugs, but i’m glad i haven’t had to make an emergency vet trip. almost had to when our scottie grover was 5 months old and ate an entire pack of my birth control. luckily we just had to induce vomiting (fun!)
and regarding sam’s pigeon toes: isn’t it a bit early for russian lady to be diagnosing? love people and their ass-vice. my bro had to wear leg braces for his turned in feet for a couple years when he was learning to walk, though. and he’s a perfectly well-adjusted almost 30 year old.
27. Laura | July 8th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Our collie had the same thing. Bloody diarrhea all over the house every time there was a thunderstorm. Possibly the foulest thing ever, not to mention hours of clean up and gagging on my part. The vet prescribed Xanax for him. I remember sitting in the pharmacy, waiting for the dog’s meds and thinking I was experiencing one of the most ridiculous days of my life.
28. lizgwiz | July 9th, 2010 at 10:44 am
I used to have a dog who had the exact same malady. It’s much less scary after the first time, since at least you know what’s going on. And hopefully yours will calm down when the move is a little further in the past.
29. Kristabella | July 9th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I don’t have kids or a dog and I had to deal with this stuff this weekend from my brother’s dog! And I’m pretty sure that I got whatever the dog had and have been sick the last three days.
Dude, I know a dog isn’t a kid, but a sick puppy has to be the closest thing to an infant. Except you can’t put an infant in a crate.
This is why I have cats.
30. SwingCheese | July 9th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
We have a cat with GI issues. Meaning that, for oh, say, about every 3-5 weeks, she has 3-5 days of puking several times a day (think like 12 times or so in a day, all over the house), along with bloody diarrhea. That she doesn’t cover. B/c even she can’t stand the smell. We’ve taken her to the vet I don’t know how many times, trying to figure out what is going on. No worms, no blockages, nothing (we’ve paid for the blood tests and x-rays to prove that), all she needs is a constant, low level of steroids. For the rest of her life. She is 6.
It is just lucky for her that she’s cute
31. Jersey | July 12th, 2010 at 11:03 am
As a human with ulcerative colitis (and yes, it gets worse when I’m stressed), I feel your pain. Well, really Sunny’s pain. I “do a #2″ about 12 times a day, At lease there is rarely blood. Maybe she needs a day at the beach or something…
Good luck!
32. Leigh | July 12th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Two words: Doggie Prozac
33. KT | July 13th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Oh no your poor doggie! We are lucky in that our dog has moved a gajillion times and no longer gets the shits from stress. We are moving again in a month…..
34. christian louboutin outlet | October 13th, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Thanks for taking the time to talk about this, I feel fervently about this and I take pleasure in learning about this topic. Please, as you gain information, please update this blog with more information. I have found it very useful.
35. north face fleece | October 26th, 2011 at 11:20 pm
It’s good to see this information in your article.north face.
36. moncler jackets women sale | November 7th, 2011 at 1:36 am
I feel fervently about this and I take pleasure in learning about this topic. Please, as you gain information, please update this blog with more information. I have found it very useful.
37. north face outlet | December 17th, 2011 at 2:16 am
All Pandora jewellery is created with only the very best materials and top-quality engineering and design.
38. North Face Denali | December 17th, 2011 at 2:33 am
Apart from, many North Face Denali Jacket of ever having a functional bilateral North Face Fleece with the USA.We have enormous respect for cheap North Face Fleece and his team. Thank you.
39. Michael Kors Bags Outlet | April 20th, 2012 at 4:37 am
I have found it very useful.
40. art oil painting | April 23rd, 2012 at 1:32 am
Art oil paintings for sale:Our online art gallery support including art oil painting, abstract or landscape paintings for sale.
Buy Original oil painting on canvas with us is fast, easy and security.
41. christian louboutin chaussures | April 25th, 2012 at 3:53 am
Very good article, not only feel good, I nearby of all the friends all say this is a very good article, the content of the novel, clear view, fully show the author rich writing ability and life experience, hope to see more of the good article to share.
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed