9 Crimes
July 12th, 2010
Hi ho! We’re … well, something. Honestly, we’re probably doing what the rest of you are doing, which is merely surviving in this brutal heat. It’s like Florida up in here, which would be fine if I were actually IN Florida, but instead, I’m in Massachusetts, where this kind of thing happens only rarely, and when it does, everyone sort of freezes like a bunch of deer in headlights, and then we bitch about it non-stop. Of course, if the opposite happens, and it is chilly and raining, which is equally possible during the summer, we whine about it like someone ate our firstborn.
We’re miserable people, I guess.
On the Boston front, I’ve been meaning to tell you that after all of that hand-wringing and worry about how I was going to HATE it here and OH, THE STRESS, I … well, as it turns out, I’m home. This is where I think I was meant to end up. For all of its annoyances and failings and frustrations, I really, really love it here. I’d forgotten just how much. It all comes down, I think, to the type of people you can relate to, who make you feel most at home. And, having spent every minute here during the first ten or so years of my adult life, these are the people I recognize the most — the ones who seem like a reflection of myself, and my general outlook.
Oh, and Boston! If you haven’t been, you need to come visit. I am constantly surprised at how lovely it is, and I can say without further qualification that it is my favorite American city, although I may be biased. Maybe.
So there’s that loop. Closed, but in a good way, although I still miss my friends like peanut butter misses jelly. And now! Random bullets!
- What the everloving EFF is going on with True Blood? Look, I’m a fan — a big one — I mean, OBVIOUSLY. But there was all this ridiculous neck-twisting and crazy, upsetting … was that sex? and werewolves with some kind of Nazi tie to vampires and … what? Friends, if *I* am frustrated and cannot, for the everloving LIFE of me, figure out what’s going on, and why any of us are supposed to care, then I fear for the future of the show. Alan Ball, you are on notice.
Speaking of True Blood, you can catch recaps that may shed some light on the subject (or not, as they are probably as confused as we are) on Smart Pop, as done by the authors of A Taste of True Blood (I’ve got episode nine!), and as always, you can catch them on Mamapop, where Kdiddy continues to kill me, season after season. (“Debbie, bless her heart, looks like Tiffany after one too many mall tours.” HA HA HAHAHAHA)
This doesn’t really help me figure out what, exactly, is going on up in here, but at least I can be enterTAINED.
- I became violently, hilariously ill en route to a barbecue this weekend at, of all places, the Natick Mall — oh, excuse me, NATICK COLLECTION, because it is fancy now that it has a Thomas Pink — Adam was dropping his laptop off at the Genius Bar and I took Sam and … oh dear. OH DEAR. And then I ran! To the bathroom! In Lord and Taylor! WHICH WAS CLOSED FOR CLEANING! But I went in anyway and … well, that poor male cleaning guy. And then! There was more! So I went to Macy’s! And my kid SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. Apparently high-speed stroller runs through public places followed by the sounds of her mother vomiting are SOOTHING.
(I’m fine now; I think it was something I ate, although I WAS mysteriously queasy on Saturday, too. But most importantly, because I know someone will ask, and then INSIST I AM WRONG: No, I am not pregnant. If I was pregnant, I would not be telling you this story, because I know you’d be onto me with this shiznit.)
(NO, SERIOUSLY.)
(Also, we obviously did not go to the barbecue, which pretty much sucked, but I saw my options as staying home and being miserable OR throwing up at my friend L’s house in front of all of her friends and family. I opted against public humiliation.)
– Sam is at this delightful stage where her version of playing independently means playing with a toy by herself while in my lap, preferably on the floor, although she likes to wrestle on the couch, too. This includes the water table, which means I spent most of this afternoon soaked to the skin, as she found it HILARIOUS to pour water onto herself, and by extension, me. Over and over again. I’d like to pretend I find this irritating, because OH I JUST WANT SOME SPACE!, but in reality, I think it might be my favorite thing ever.
I am acutely, painfully aware at how fast this is all going, despite the fact that she is not yet a year and a half old, and I’m writing this part down for my future self, more than anything: I know people say to appreciate every moment, because it goes so fast and one day, they’re telling you they hate you and asking you to buy tampons, for the love of God, and I have to tell you, I am. I really, really am. I DO appreciate the way her little body feels all snuggled up on mine, and how desperately she wants nothing more than to be with me, her mama.
I have a genuine hormonal reaction when my kid’s all snuggled up in my lap on the couch watching Yo Gabba Gabba (we TiVo it, because I think I’m kind of in love with DJ Lance Rock). I’m just so RELAXED, and it’s not a mental response, it is very, very physical and kind of crazy.
– Speaking of my friend L and the ill-fated barbecue that wasn’t, I was at her house the other day, and PEOPLE! She was waxing philosophical about her Shark steam mop and said (FOR REAL!) that she envisioned her Swiffer WetJet being cast aside, singing mournful tones about a woman from afar, THAT IS HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HER STEAM MOP.
And then Elizabeth wrote about HER Eureka steam mop on Style Lush, and every night, I fantasize about steaming my floors. I have not yet bought either one, but I AM FANTASIZING. A LOT.
I think this means my life is very sad, at least on paper. Very sad, indeed.
*Damien Rice. And did you notice that starting last season, True Blood started naming their episodes for songs? I THINK THEY GOT THAT FROM ME.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Boston!,True Blood
26 Comments Add your own
1. Ashley | July 12th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
I’ve been having the EXACT SAME fantasy about the steam mop. And with all the rain (and mud) we’ve been having lately, I am THISCLOSE to going behind my husband’s back and buying one. But I will only use it in private. While listening to some old school Boys II Men. With my Swiffer propped in the corner, watching
2. Suzanne | July 12th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
I was counting the seconds until you posted about True Blood because DUDE. DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF? I mean, look, not only do I watch the show, I’ve read the books, so I should be able to at least sort of follow what that mess was about. But it was all so…not good. My only guess is they let someone else direct that episode and also allowed his douchey indy cousin to pick out all the music because it was like someone put the soundtrack to Juno over the creepiest porn movie ever.
My only consolation is I know what is (probably) GOING to happen so it almost makes sense. Maybe. I hope.
3. jonniker | July 12th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Suzanne, did you see last night’s episode? Because I read the books, too, and I have NO IDEA what is going to happen next.
4. Anyabeth | July 12th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I am a little embarassed that I have a huge massive crush on DJ Lance. It is inappropriate my feelings for him but at least I am not my husband who has a thing for Gina on Sesame Street.
I adore my steam mop but ever since looking at the reviews I kind of want to switch from a Shark to a Eureka. Apparently this is an illness. I am leery about Swiffer ever since they had all those wetjet pet deaths.
5. Trope | July 13th, 2010 at 12:39 am
In order: I know how you feel about needing personal space (and loving the snuggle at the same time), I will never buy a mop device, no matter what, and while True Blood OBVIOUSLY got the song title link going from you, they were doing it all through the first season as well. So they’re not bandwagon-jumpers to your blog; Alan Ball is a long time fan of yours.
6. Swistle | July 13th, 2010 at 7:31 am
Yes, YES: we used to live somewhere I really liked, but when we moved to where we live now, I realized that the culture/atmosphere in Old Place was not where we fit, that THIS is where we fit.
EXACTLY: NO ONE who was pregnant would post about barfing, unless they were deliberately trying to tease, because it is so CLASSIC. It’s how you know in a movie or TV show that a character is pregnant: she rushes to barf, and Then We Know. (On the other hand, a blogger I read once posted a bunch of symptoms, and I said, “Er?” and she said “!!!!!” and took a test, and it turned out she WAS, and that she HADN’T known, and that I HAD guessed right. That was a pretty heady experience!)
7. velocibadgergirl | July 13th, 2010 at 7:31 am
OMG, steam mops! I have been pining for one for MONTHS, and it’s only going to get worse now that my kid is insisting he’s old enough to crawl.
8. Jersey | July 13th, 2010 at 8:19 am
Ok. True Blood. I have been angry this whole season. I know it’s not going to be exactly like the books, obviously there are characters that are involved like Jessica and Lafayette that aren’t in the third book. BUT- I totally agree. Nazi’s? Bill being on some kind of Captive Summer Vacation? CALVIN BUYING V? Weird, Weird, Weird! (But I do love me some Damien Rice, so I’ll just go with that).
I can’t even begin to imagine how wonderful like would be with a steam mop. I don’t even have nightstands yet, or a kitchen table, let alone getting the luxury of a steam mop. But it does sound lovely…
9. Misty | July 13th, 2010 at 8:53 am
I bought a steam mop because a couple bloggers I read really loved theirs…and.
Here, you can have it.
I think it is for folks who clean far more than me. becauise it doesn’t seem to get anything up and I have to scrub so hard to make it look like I’ve done anything at all. Of course, I could win “Laziest Housekeeper of the Century”, so that should be taken into account.
10. Christine | July 13th, 2010 at 8:53 am
OH god, True Blood this season. People, I DO NOT care about Werewolf drama. I do not want to watch a white trash werewolf soap opera. I just don’t care. And what up with Debbie? Really? And the Nazi twists, and Bill is now bad ass, and Suki is still freaking whiny, and I can’t. I would say I am done, but I’m not done just yet, so far Pam, Lafayette and Eric are its only saving graces. Bah.
11. Lara | July 13th, 2010 at 11:46 am
I gave my beloved Swiffer WetJet away when I bought my steam mop. True story.
But I still have my favourite Swiffer thingy ever – the Swiffer vacuum. We have hard floors and we’re constantly in and out to the patio and the gunky, gritty BITS we track in and make their way into our BED make me INSANE.
So, I am constantly whipping around the living areas with the Swiffer vac and I save the steam mop for washing the floors, which I don’t do daily (that usually just gets done when the dog drool all over the floor starts to gross me out) and it works like a hot damn although it’s not as easy to fling around as the WetJet and doesn’t pick up bits as well as the Swiffer.
I will never, ever, ever leave my Swiffer vac or steam mop. EVER.
12. TwoBusy | July 13th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Re: Boston
Knew you’d dig it. Never had a doubt.
13. kdiddy | July 13th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Thanks for the recap love. Glad you liked the Debbie/Tiffany comparison.
After your vomiting story, I started a Bump Watch. But I should call it off?
;-p
14. Suzanne | July 13th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
J – I saw it. I think they’re just sort of doing things…out of order? Because there was a weird Debbie joins the pack thing but it seems to have been combined with the new pack leader ceremony. Although in that case, I demand Quinn IMMEDIATELY. And the king who’s got Bill is going to end up marrying the queen and then THAT stuff is going to happen but I don’t know why they’re connecting the king to the wolves in a way that I don’t remember at all from the books. And like Jersey said, at this point there are entire storylines not at all even sort of like the book (crazy British vampire and Tara?????) so I’ve mostly given up.
15. Suzanne | July 13th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
J – I saw it. I think they’re just sort of doing things…out of order? Because there was a weird Debbie joins the pack thing but it seems to have been combined with the new pack leader ceremony. Although in that case, I demand Quinn IMMEDIATELY. And the king who’s got Bill is going to end up marrying the queen and then THAT stuff is going to happen but I don’t know why they’re connecting the king to the wolves in a way that I don’t remember at all from the books. And like Jersey said, at this point there are entire storylines not at all even sort of like the book (crazy British vampire and Tara?????) so I’ve mostly given up.
16. Lori | July 14th, 2010 at 6:11 am
Getting to snuggle while watching ‘toons is reason enough to have kids, in my opinion.
17. natalie | July 14th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
My Shark steam mop is my other kid (uh, after my actual children and my pets.) HOWEVER. Those other kids are the reason I need the dang Shark in the first place, and it doesn’t disappoint. Particularly for the under-the-high-chair-post-dog-lick cleanup sessions, you know?
18. craftyashley | July 17th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I have a shark, and I was kinda disappointed! It doesn’t scrub, like in the grout. Those pads get full and dirty way fast. I haven’t used it in a year, and I tried to pull it out of the closet and give it another chance… now it refuses to work entirely. I think I’m going to have to break up with Shark Steam Mop.
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