Paparazzi
August 10th, 2010
HI HO!
The short BlogHer version, which will be woefully disappointing to many of you: I had a great time. It was super low-drama. I don’t have a lot of complaints. Everyone I met was lovely, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, in total sincerity, no snark whatsoever.
I realize that makes this kind of boring. I’m sorry. But like everyone else, I have to say it, because, well, I paid for the damn thing, let me have my recap post, please!
First of all, the best part was easily my roommate, Jennie. (Tell me you love Jennie!) I can’t begin to tell you how wonderfully we got along, or how our friendship is sort of, um, epic in its awesomeness (LIKE BEACHES) (MORE ON THAT IN A SECOND), and it was so easy to be with her, and it made the whole conference worth it.
The other best part was that my OTHER, OLDER (in terms of friend-time, not age, although Mer and I are same-aged crones to Jennie’s youthfulness) epic Beaches friend, Meredith, met Jennie. And PEOPLE. IT WAS BEACHES, BUT WITH THREE PEOPLE. They loved each other, and both texted me separately to tell me so, and it might have been the best thing in the world, having two people you love so, so much (so beyond blogging or writing online or any of this stuff, I mean Real Life Friends) love each other! It was a VERY BIG DEAL for me, and I’m touched and tickled and thrilled and excited to see them both again.
Everyone was lovely. And pretty! What’s with all the pretty? I thought we were all supposed to be dorky and smart and socially awkward? I didn’t meet an unattractive person! Not one! Amalah was lovely and funny and exactly as you’d expect, but even prettier! STUNNING, in fact. What’s up with that? Who is that pretty in pictures, then takes it up a whole notch in person? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
People were so nice and friendly and exactly what you’d expect, and if they weren’t, they were better than you expected, even if you had high expectations. Linda! Jodi! The New Girl (who I already knew and is always beautiful)! Kelli! Cass! AndreAnna! Samantha! (btw, I’ve now told Sam I love her eleven times. She is scared.) LEAH! HELLO I LOVED LEAH SO MUCH I WANT TO TELL EVERYONE TO SEEK HER OUT AND MEET HER. SHE IS SO WARM. Metalia! Ali! Slynnro! Kristabella!!
Anne! I loved Anne. And Julie! Julie, for the record, has been the kindest person to me in ways no one even knows about, and I can’t tell you how special it was to meet her. It was a moment, if you will.
Also special was Suebob, whose blog I’ve been reading Way Back When, and is the person you want in your corner, for real. Damn, was she warm and wonderful. Meagan!
Miss Britt! Y! ALEXA. FOR GOD’S SAKE, PEOPLE I MET ALEXA. No, I didn’t just meet Alexa. I FANGIRLED at Alexa and spent ten minutes, dead sober, telling her how talented she is. (SHE IS.) Pseudostoops! Sara! The Ladies of Style Lush! TwoBusy, who I have the ability to see again and again! Ms Picket to YOU! DITTO, BITCHES.
I’m wringing my hands, because I know I’m forgetting great people, and it’s not because they were forgettable, but it’s because I am dim, and it’s almost 11 p.m. and I’m repeating people and picturing faces of people I’ve known for years, and yet cannot recall.
ALLYSON. See? SEE? I cannot be trusted with links. AND LETTERB. Liz! My old boss, who I love and can see again soon! SHIT. I am so fucked with this list. Please forgive me.
However, here are the only two photos I took at the entire conference, because I am an idiot. Behold:
It’s ANNA! I loved Anna even more in person. You guys, she’s funny and smart and beautiful and has a smile that lights up her whole face. And please note: She does not have horns. If you ever have the opportunity to hang out with her, please do so. Just introduce yourself! She is lovely, and I’ll cut a bitch who says otherwise. My bra is also making a special appearance here, as it did all weekend. My right boob, for some reason, did not enjoy being contained.
Worst picture of me ever, but you know, I don’t care, because it’s Holly and AB! AB, you need to know, was my first blog ever, before they were called BLOGS, tied with Mike Monteiro’s Henry’s Diary. I’m all, IT IS AB CHAO, BITCHES. I started reading her … Jesus, I don’t know, ten years ago? When her daughter Mad was in like, THIRD GRADE, IF THAT. (Mad is now one year away from graduating. WTF.) Meanwhile, when poor AB tries to tell me things she did in 2005, I’m all, “Dude, I remember that.” WHICH HAS TO BE CREEPY.
And poor Holly. Poor, poor Holly, who asked about the realities of having kids, and Jennie and I regaled her for an hour and … oh poor Holly. There were a few times I was thinking, “We should be stopping this!” and yet I went on. For many hours.
And AB was with Drunken Bee! Who I also read years ago, when I was jealous of everyone who went to JournalCon and stuff, and yet I had my dorky little overwrought Diaryland account where I think I composed POEMS, OH MY LANDS.
(I was in my early twenties. Please forgive me. I think I was generally an asshole.)
(PS, Drunken Bee does the Friday Night Lights recaps on Television Without Pity. They’re awesome.)
Now for the bad parts: There were assholes. I was treated astonishingly poorly on at least two occasions, one of which was SUPAH SHOCKING and almost funny in its awfulness, but you know what? There are assholes everywhere, and they were not people I knew well or cared about. There are more assholes on my street right now than I met at BlogHer, and that’s a fact. You can’t have a conference with 2400 people and expect there to NOT be assholes.
I just really hope I wasn’t that asshole to any of you. If I was, please tell me, and let me apologize. Unless you are the woman whose foot I accidentally ran over with my bag the first day who yelled at me even after I apologized OR the people next door to Jennie and me, who called security on us for TALKING IN HUSHED TONES. TWICE. You are mean. Also, I’m glad we kept you awake, even when you banged on the wall at 10 a.m. (TEN IN THE MORNING) to tell us to be quiet.
*Lady Gaga. And obviously I was a poor paparazz…ist. Whatever.
Entry Filed under: Nuttin'
51 Comments Add your own
1. TwoBusy | August 10th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
You had me at Hi Ho.
2. Jennie | August 10th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Epic! You’re like my Logan! (Veronica Mars shout out, yo.)
(And, man, do I agree. Two days of drinking, talking, and hanging out, and I feel like (no, I know) we’ll be friends for the rest of our lives.)
I mean, FUCK, we met Padma together.
3. Jennie | August 10th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Also, damn, I could not have loved Meredith more. I seriously felt like I had known her for years. BOTH OF YOU. TO TEXAS. STAT.
4. Nothing But Bonfires | August 10th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Our conversation about the realities of having kids was one of my FAVORITE PARTS of the whole entire conference. You and Jennie gave it to me straight! And I loved that so much.
It was marvelous to FINALLY meet you, and you were so…SMILEY in person! Not that I thought you WOULDN’T be, of course — wow, that makes it sound like I expected you to be scowling and shaking your fist at something, which OBVIOUSLY I DIDN’T — but you just looked so happy and smiley and lovely and fun all weekend. It was a pleasure to meet you. I feel sort of bad about how I accosted you for a photo when you were IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION at one point, so apologies for that.
5. Carla Hinkle | August 10th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
The best thing to me about posts like this, from someone who doesn’t have a blog, and is unlikely ever to have a blog or go to BlogHer, is to check out all the NEW blog-reading fun by checking your shout-outs. It is fun (if a bit mysterious that I read exactly TWO of the many people you referenced … how have I been missing them?).
6. Elizabeth | August 10th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
I am entering into a SEVERE depression that I was not there.
7. jonniker | August 11th, 2010 at 6:45 am
Holly, you could not have been more charming. I was SO CHARMED by you.
8. jodifur | August 11th, 2010 at 6:57 am
It was so lovely to hang out with you and my goal is to get you and Jennie to mom 2.0 and we are going to room together. So, how are we going to accomplish this?
9. Kerry | August 11th, 2010 at 7:37 am
I like your haircut so much that I might actually print it out and put it in my file of Haircuts I Would Like to Have Even Though They Look Good On Someone Else But Not Me.
10. AndreAnna | August 11th, 2010 at 8:01 am
My only regret is that I could not take you home and make you my bets friend in Iowa. 1) Because I have no friends here and 2) You really are as awesome in person as this space you’ve made and that, my dear, is the mark of a true writer.
See you in April when I head to Boston. You owe me a dirty martini.
11. mdog | August 11th, 2010 at 8:48 am
this post makes me want to go to blogher and meet you even though my blog has cobwebs.
12. Miss Grace | August 11th, 2010 at 9:00 am
I’m glad we met and said hi!
13. cindy w | August 11th, 2010 at 9:25 am
You were SO not an asshole! You were awesome! Even though I only talked to you for like 2 seconds, so I don’t know, maybe you were an asshole after I left. (I kid!)
My only regret about the weekend is that there were people who I really wanted to TALK with, and you & Jennie were both on that list, and I feel like I barely saw you at all. Oh well. Next time!
14. Pocklock | August 11th, 2010 at 9:35 am
I love how you were literally the FIRST person I locked eyes with as I was dragging my pregnant ass into the hotel with all my shit (and had to pee so bad because I had just sat in traffic for 35 minutes to go 10 blocks) and yet I had to smile and hug you because, well, it was YOU and damn, I’m really sorry for how bad I must’ve smelled at that point.
You are awesome and I wish we had more time to spend together. However, we have a birthday date in Boston in December. The chocolate cake is ON!
xo
15. Kristabella | August 11th, 2010 at 10:01 am
I could not love you more, for realz, yo! I wish we could have spent way more time together because you are so awesome in person (not that you aren’t awesome online) and it was such a JOY to meet you and talk with and hug you!!
I think you need to come to SD for BlogHer 11 even though it is a long time away!!! Or I just need to visit Boston!!
16. agirlandaboy | August 11th, 2010 at 10:34 am
Every year, I go to BlogHer with an official blog crush in mind–someone whom I love and respect and want ALL TO MYSELF, and whom I must meet or else the whole weekend will be a bust. You were my crush this year, and how lucky was I that I not only got to meet you but also got to hug you (and BE hugged by you) (AND HOW!), and to see that you are everything I thought you’d be times ten. I’m so, so, so proud and lucky to call you a friend. (And you have a collection of quite awesome shirts, I have to say.)
17. Angella | August 11th, 2010 at 11:02 am
I sure hope I wasn’t an asshole. I don’t think I was! I totally forgot to include that photo of the four of you in my wrap-up. I was a zombie when I wrote it. Sorry!
It was great to finally meet you! You’re every bit as awesome in real life as you are online, Even better, actually.
18. Bitchin' Amy | August 11th, 2010 at 11:03 am
I just got to say Hi! but so glad to finally put a face to the twitter presence.
19. Raven | August 11th, 2010 at 11:44 am
I’m so glad we met! Meeting some of my fellow Style Lushers makes me feel all warm and squishy inside
20. saly | August 11th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Oh hahhaaaaaahhahahaha Diaryland. My account at Open Diary is still open and I still visit it to remind myself how douchey the 21-year-old version of me was. Oh dear,
Sounds like you had a great time and met some great people. YAY!
21. Mrs. CPA | August 11th, 2010 at 11:49 am
I really wanted to meet you and Anna, and I failed! Next year.
22. Laurie | August 11th, 2010 at 11:58 am
I’m just glad I got to hug you and have photographic evidence.
23. Hello Ladies | August 11th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Awesome seeing you. And thanks for tolerating me while I ranted in the corner about PR. Nothing has changed.
24. sassymonkey | August 11th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
I’m still disappointed that we didn’t get to meet. Boo for just missing each other every single time.
25. Caitlin | August 11th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Ahhhhhhhh! This post makes me want to go to BlogHer even though I don’t blog! I think this is the best post about BlogHer that I’ve ever read. I think this is exactly why people do this blogging thing and then all go meet each other in the first place and to use Swistle’s word, it has left me with such a glow-y CHEERY feeling.
ALSO. I am SO JEALOUS to hear of all this hugging because somehow I am not surprised AT ALL to hear that you are a good hugger and I want one of your hugs now. (creepy? Perhaps but there it is. JEALOUS.) (Actually it was me that banged on your wall! I just wanted one of your hugs!) (Just kidding, I didn’t bang on your wall. I would knock on your wall like this *knocking noise*) (Just kidding I didn’t knock on your wall because I don’t have any hands! Just kidding, I DO have hands, but they can’t knock they can only talk…Just kidding, Just kidding….Judy Grimes.) (OMG)
And! AND! I am giggling over this conversation with Holly because YES! Holly! I have made her tell me too and it is horrifying and awesome and MORE MORE I always want to hear MORE! Jonna, thanks for telling it like it is to those of us unsure of cashing in our chips to that particular club. YOU DA BEST.
26. Jen | August 11th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
OK, this kind of feels like people are signing your BlogHer yearbook all up in here!
All week (okay, all 3 days of this week) I’ve been seeing the BlogHer pictures and just thinking how neat (Neat! I am a nerd) it is to see so many of my favorite bloggers together in the same photo. You look so happy and cheery and genuine in every photo, Jonna. I’m so glad that it was such a fun experience. I love that you and Jennie are such good friends – you are two of my favorite bloggers, listed one right after the other in my blog list (not my reader because I do not use a reader…how old school is THAT?).
Just plain happy for you.
27. Aunt Becky | August 11th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I’m still bitter that I didn’t meet you. Mostly because I was dying to meet you. And I’m wearing bitter pants today. CLEARLY.
I did not, shockingly, meet too many assholes. Except one. Which I must tweet about now. Heh.
28. Noemi | August 11th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
This is SO SO true:
“Meanwhile, when poor AB tries to tell me things she did in 2005, I’m all, “Dude, I remember that.” WHICH HAS TO BE CREEPY. ”
I mean, not that it’s creepy, but I had this EXACT FEELING when I met Linda (@sundry) for lunch a couple months ago, and I knew what KIND OF CAR SHE WAS DRIVING, and I referenced the LUBE in the BATHROOM, and all she knew about me was that I am a champion complainer on Twitter. Also, I was sweaty and so nervous that my voice was actually SHAKING, and I think I came across like an asshole.
All this to tell you that should we ever meet, I will undoubtedly also be quite nervous and star-struck, but I swear, I am quite nice, and will do my best not to be an asshole.
29. Amalah | August 11th, 2010 at 3:32 pm
If you don’t stop saying nice things about me being pretty and stuff, I’m going to have to slap you. Possibly with my dangly turkey neck that’s now showing up in everybody’s photos, what the HELL.
It was so, so nice to meet you finally, even though it didn’t *feel* like we were finally meeting for the first time, you know? Once I got over being thrown off by your blond hair, anyway.
30. Kerri Anne | August 11th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I’m so so glad the bulk of your first BlogHer experience was so positive. It makes me silly happy to see pink links and exclamation points next to so many names belonging to ladies I (miss! and) verily know are fantastic and lovely.
31. ABDPBT | August 11th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
I’m just happy that my hornectomy was so successful and that nobody noticed the scars! Go me.
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33. Cecily | August 11th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
OMG, it wasn’t me, was it? I wasn’t an asshole. Shit. I’m sorry. I was fried. Tired. You were taller than I expected. And cuter. I was feeling shy.
Crap. It totally was me, wasn’t it?
(it was very nice to see you.)
34. jonniker | August 12th, 2010 at 6:47 am
Cecily: You are crazy. You were lovely. You couldn’t be an asshole if you tried.
35. marymac | August 12th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
It was fantastic to meet you both at check in and when I SQUEEEED and asked for a picture with you and Anna, like a dorky fan girl. That slideshow is running on my blog tomorrow FYI- and btw you are lovely and hilarious!!
36. Anne | August 12th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Dude, it was positively spectacular to meet you, really. I wish Chicago and Boston were closer together!
37. Lawyerish | August 12th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
BEACHES, MAN!
38. Accidents | August 13th, 2010 at 9:38 am
Thank you for such a positive post. Not that I think everyone should necessarily be all hearts-for-pupils about BlogHer all the time, but last year the common practice seemed to be to single out the bad and bitch. I’m oh-so-sick of the comparisons to high school cliques, etc. Barf. Social situations! They can be awkward and uncomfortable! People can group together and unwittingly exclude you! That’s how it works! I think you capture here what a large number of the attendees got out of the experience. Plus, ALEXA! (!!!!)
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