Just a Friend
August 24th, 2010
I’ve taken a bit of a television hiatus, in terms of finding new shows, anyway, because it’s summer, we’ve been busy, and whatever, there’s Big Brother, mock me if you will. But every night before we went to bed, Adam would watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and shake the damn bed with laughter while I glared at him in an obnoxious highbrow manner over the top of my book.
He finally broke me down, and PEOPLE. I CANNOT STOP. It’s easily the funniest, most wildly inappropriate show I’ve seen in years. I’m howling! I’m crying! I’m feeling terribly dirty because I’m laughing uproariously at the absurd pleasure the characters are taking in finding — and trying on — a Nazi uniform, and that sounds worse than it is, kind of, but you must trust me: HILARITY ENSUED. I … oh, it’s terrible and hilarious and so offensive, while at the same time smartly acknowledging its offensiveness, and, well, I feel like everyone should go get it and watch it. Unless you’re very sensitive, in which case, I don’t know what to tell you, because it’s possible you’re reading the wrong blog, maybe? I’m not sure.
Anyway. I have failed to mention that Sunny once again continues to be the bane of our existence, while also managing to be the primary sleep-stealer, making up for all those months that a squalling baby kept her from her deep puggy slumber. While I was at BlogHer, she was overcome with such a disastrous stomach ailment that Adam was up every two hours (like a NEWBORN) to take her outside to either barf or poop, and to be honest, the majority of the baby wipes in this house were being used to WIPE THE DOG’S BUM.
THE DOG’S BUM.
THE DOG’S BUM.
This is how, upon my return, I ended up waiting in a 24-hour pharmacy for a prescription to be filled for my dog. A dog whose prescription was borked (barked?) on four separate occasions because the pharmacist not only could not find my dog as an existing patient in the insurance database (BECAUSE SHE IS A DOG), but was consistently trying to fill a prescription for a human named — wait for it:
Funny Rubin.
FUNNY RUBIN.
After waiting and calling and waiting and calling, and talking and waiting and mass confusion, the pharmacist, who to my knowledge has a DEGREE and everything, stopped and said, “Wait: are you Funny Rubin? I’ve been trying to call you!”
Aaaand, scene.
She finished her last pill today. This is her third round of this flora-encouraging antibiotic (a paradox if I ever heard one) and if I wake up in the middle of the night tonight to wipe her bum, I will seriously consider selling her to the highest bidder. Or perhaps the first person willing to buy me a jumbo pack of Starburst. Whichever.
In other housekeeping-y news, a few of us are in the process of putting together a Boston blogger (and the readers who love them) meet-up. As a result, would you kindly let me know, either in the comments, or via email (the contact form above does go to my email, swearsies), so that we can keep you in the loop, as the kids say?
Also, HA HA, embarrassing fun fact: A reader recognized me in Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago, and she was adorable and funny and a mom! A mom of two! Who lives kind of near me! And I loved her, even though I was shocked and sort of stammer-y, for it happens so rarely to begin with, but it happens even MORE rarely that someone recognizes MY DAUGHTER before they realize who I am. And yes, I had to ask her name TWICE because I was so flustered and … well, so I said we should get together sometime! And she should email me her contact information!
No email. Sad panda. Which goes to show you that apparently there are times — quite a few of them, I reckon — that I translate very poorly in person. So attend the meet-up at your own risk.
(CALL ME, JOANNA. NOT TO SOUND DESPERATE OR ANYTHING.)
(Ha ha?)
Happy Wednesday!
*Biz Markie. Who is coming with DJ Lance and the Yo Gabba Gabba clan to Boston, and I’m totally considering buying tickets and … oh dear. They are not cheap. This is not rational, right? I mean, she might freak out! She might not make it! AND YET. DJ LANCE IN THE FLIZESH. *fans self*
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Boston!,General jackassery,Sunny The Pug
50 Comments Add your own
1. Dr. Maureen | August 24th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Me! Me me! Boston blogger meetup! Keep me in the loop! You’re currently the only Boston blogger I read, though, because I don’t know any.
2. Suzanne | August 24th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Boston is not that far from Connecticut. I would be more than willing to abandon, uh, I mean SACRIFICE TIME AWAY FROM MY FAMILY for a few hours to get to meet other New England blogger-types.
And my husband is also obsessed with It’s Always Sunny. He seems to think he’s the first person ever to discover how horrible and yet amazing it is and won’t shut up about it. He swears we’re going to see the new Drew Barrymore And Justin Long Act All Flustered And Have Relationship Problems But It All Ends Cute movie JUST because the guy from It’s Always Sunny is in it.
3. Heather | August 24th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Oh, how funny a reader recognized you! I once saw Amy/Amalah out with Noah and just looked at her like she had four heads. I was too wimpy to actually speak. I’m sure she thought I was a mental patient. It’s intimidating to meet you guys IRL. Not that you’re scary or anything, just weird to see you in person. And I would LOVE to do a Boston meet-up, but I’m in DC
And Yo Gabba Gabba! We’re going on Saturday to the show in VA. I am looking forward to this more than anyone else in the house, of course the 3yo and 1yo just look at me like I’m crazy when I talk to them about going. Wha?? We’re going to the tv? Hopefully they will appreciate the show, as the tickets were very expensive, more expensive than I have paid for grown up concert tickets.
Feel better Sunny! Alas, I too use butt wipes on the dog. It’s not fun.
4. barb. | August 24th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
Boston bloggers! Awesome. I can’t promise I’d be able to come, but I’d love to try — I live in the South Shore area.
Funny Rubin! I will be inappropriately snorting loudly about that one for quite some time.
I hope Sunny feels better soon!
5. ABDPBT | August 24th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Gabba Live is a must see, I’m telling you. Now, given, Boston is probably going to land you James Taylor as a guest celebrity (we had Sarah Silverman and Snoop Dogg), but STILL, it’s a good show.
6. Nothing But Bonfires | August 24th, 2010 at 11:47 pm
FUNNY RUBIN OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You should have said “Why yes! Yes, I am! And here is my daughter, Hilarious Rubin. My husband, Crackup Rubin, is at home. Can I, Funny Rubin, help you?”
7. squandra | August 25th, 2010 at 12:24 am
OMG Always Sunny! Have you seen the Dumpster Baby episode yet? Amazing.
Also, I am dying over here about Funny Rubin. For real, I am worried I will wake up the boyfriend.
8. Shelly | August 25th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Gabba Live came here and though we weren’t able to make it, we have good friends who went and said it was fabulous! Bootsy Collins was even at our show (b/c he grew up here).
9. Shin Ae | August 25th, 2010 at 7:55 am
We love Always Sunny! It’s hilarious, and it really does give me that Philadelphia feeling I miss so much since I’ve become a bumpkin.
I’m so sorry about your little Sunny. Just, sorry for everyone involved. Yeesh. But also, that pharmacist? Very funny, indeed.
10. Raven | August 25th, 2010 at 8:32 am
I thought you translated perfectly in person, fyi.
Also, damn, I thought getting up three times a night just to let my dogs out or shut them the hell up was bad. I would so be killing someone if I was having to deal with vomit or butt wiping.
11. jive turkey | August 25th, 2010 at 8:35 am
We totally bought tickets to take our 16 month old daughter to see Yo Gabba Gabba live. I ain’t gonna lie — it’s mostly so I can break it down to “I Like Bugs” in person.
Also! I LOVE It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The Dumpster Baby episode is a personal favorite. “We just wanna get him a base!”
Oh hey! Did you know Sweet Dee is pregnant (in real life and on the show) next season?! Cool.
12. Li | August 25th, 2010 at 9:14 am
we will totally attend Yo Gabba Gabba with you! let’s make a plan! cost be damned!
13. H | August 25th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Always Sunny has long been on my list of shows to start via dvd but I see there’s a new season starting mid-September so I guess that’ll do for now). Thanks for mentioning you like it. I don’t know anyone who watches it but I thought it looked good.
Ah, Big Brother Shame. I don’t even know what to say – I love to hate it and then I’m embarrassed to admit I watch it. Yeesh.
14. Shari | August 25th, 2010 at 10:05 am
We’ve been going through Always Sunny on Netflix like there’s no tomorrow. It is just SOO funny, as long as you aren’t offended by ANYTHING. My fave was when they went to pick up chicks at the pro-life/pro-choice rally…is there anything more WRONG than that??
15. Gaby | August 25th, 2010 at 10:27 am
We love It’s Always Sunny here, too. As already mentioned, Dumpster Baby is a great episode, but I personally love the one where Dee’s cat is stuck in the wall. Charlie shines in that one! Is it wrong that I find Charlie kind of attractive? I figure you might understand this, based on your earlier admissions of crushes on the not-so-typically crushed upon guys.
16. natalie | August 25th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
FUNNY RUBIN. Holy pants… I’m crying laughing.
17. Christine | August 25th, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Oh we just LOVE Always Sunny in our house, love it to pieces. In fact we love it so much that we saw them live in Philly. Tony saw Danny DeVito in his elevator at work once and didn’t invite him out and I was livid. Livid because of all the celebrities Danny DeVito would be the one to take you up on your offer! And he’s awesome! I totally stole a flier with Dennis as a child molester since they filmed that section around the block from where I was living.
Poor Sunny. In preschool I got the biggest goober of a mentor because he thought it hilarious that when asked what the weather was like, I said “FUNNY!” on account of my lisp. Damn you preschool mentor!
18. Danell | August 25th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Wait. Did you really just type the word FLIZESH? Really? *snicker*
Also, “this is my daughter, Hilarious Rubin” is…hilarious.
I really wish I could see Sunny’s patient file…just outta curiousity…would love to see if I could figure out what was going on with her. Poor puggy butt.
19. Carrie Q. | August 25th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
My daughter became friendly with the “local celebrity” daughter (they were on the same little league team) and was SO friendly with her that I decided to try a playdate. So…after the season, I emailed the mom. The mom was encouraging…and then I COMPLETELY lost my nerve. Never emailed or called or tried her back again. This was three years ago, and I STILL can’t believe I couldn’t get up enough guts to follow through with that. Perhaps this fan-mom was also star-struck and couldn’t believe her luck that THE JONNA said, “Let’s get together sometime!” …I know *I* would be!
…Am wishing I lived in Boston right now.
20. Aunt Becky | August 26th, 2010 at 11:33 am
I tried to join a book club THAT I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO JOIN so that I could have a friend in the area. I’m all, “oh please call me” and NO ONE EVER CALLED ME EVER.
Dude. DUDE. Depressing.
P.S. I’d hang out with you in a second. Even if you had to wipe your dog’s butt while we hung out.
21. Joanna | August 26th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
It’s me, Joanna! I am down on the Jersey Shore (yes, the very same) with my husband’s side of the family, and we’ve basically been out of town since that day at B&N. I a) thought you were lovely, b) felt like I talked nonstop to you about your OWN life–sorry, c) didn’t want to overwhelm poor Sam by acting too familiar, and most importantly d) will email you now. Thanks for the shout-out/reminder/enthusiasm–and for the record, I called my husband immediately after meeting you and said “I JUST RAN INTO JONNIKER!” So I WAS starstruck, but mostly I was just psyched.
22. Leigh | August 26th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Oh, yay! Love this post and love that Joanna wrote in. HATE that I am in California and cannot meet up in Boston.
And, omg, what the eff is it with pharmacists? Most frustrating hours of my life have been spent in pharmacies.
23. Marieke | August 26th, 2010 at 11:01 pm
I’d love to attend a meetup in the Boston area — count me in! And I third or fourth the pharmacist frustration. Reminds me of a story of a friend of mine who found himself in the position of having to fill a prescription for antibiotics for his son in a ratty little pharmacy late at night in a bad neighborhood of …somewhere in Aruba, I think (point is, it wasn’t the U.S.). The pharmacist apologized that it would take her 5 minutes (5 minutes!!) to fill it. It actually took only 3. Why are things so complicated here??
24. Kerri Anne | September 1st, 2010 at 8:26 pm
It’s Always Sunny is one of my all-time favorite shows. (And the fact I can watch past seasons on Hulu makes me SO HAPPY.) I quote the show ALL the time, but most of the time I assume no one has any idea what I’m talking about because (they tell me they have no idea what I’m talking about, and) most of my friends don’t watch it. (BLASPHEMERS.)
So glad you have been converted! It’s just such great writing, such great comedic timing.
“Stop calling him Junkyard Cat. He has a name: Agent Jack Bauer.”
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