Love is a Catastrophe
September 6th, 2010
Update: Kid has hand, foot and mouth disease. Which may contribute to her assholery. OH DUH.
Thank you for all of your comments on my last post. Because MAN, I felt like I was drowning for a little while there, and dammit, if today we didn’t have THIRTEEN tantrums. THIRTEEN! FULL-BORE! TANTRUMS! With kicking! And throwing herself on the ground to complete said kicking! BAHAHA HAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA
OMFG.
I mean, intellectually, as a parent you know this is coming, right? But when it happens, it’s still just so STUNNING. Also, I will admit that one of the things I’m struggling with is some leftover PTSD from when she was an infant and cried all day, every day. Uncontrolled crying? MUST STOP IT, STAT. This means I spent the first several weeks after the tantrums began GIVING IN to the tantrums, trying to figure out what was wrong. OH HO HO HO, genius move, right there. This, friends, I believe is the reason that we have EXTRA tantrums. Manufactured stress, for the win! Parenting skills worth repeating! RIGHT HERE.
Sorry to go on like this. It’s just so ALL CONSUMING, as you know. And worse, I’m starting to think that I’m just not creative enough for this parenting shit. I run out of activity ideas after the first hour of the day, and then I’m left scrambling, with a tantrummy kid, thinking that surely, there has to be some sort Parent Emergency Pill, like a cyanide-type one used in combat (can you tell I’m reading Mockingjay?), only it doesn’t kill you, but maybe sends some kind of ALERT ALERT WOOP WOOP to the local Parenting Squad and someone — anyone — will swoop in and deposit a nanny or at least someone who knows their way around Play Doh for a few minutes.
Seriously, let’s add “Difficult to Play With” under the challenges of 18 months. Too little to sit still for any sort of prolonged activity (drawing, Play Doh); too big to just feel up a bunch of toys and watch them crinkle, you know?
You know. And you are over hearing about it. ME TOO. WHERE IS MY PILL?
Good thing she’s cute, is all I’m saying, am I right?
Totally worth it, I am embarrassed to admit.
In other scintillating news (wow, our lives are THRILLING these days), Sunny’s Stomach Ailment of Mystery reared its ugly head on Saturday night/Sunday morning, as I woke up at 4:30 a.m. to Adam using a miniature flashlight (so considerate, that man of mine, God bless him) to clean up more of her puke, and HOO BOY, I feel terrible for her, but we are also a bit on the Over It side. And obviously, though it was planned that I would sleep late on Sunday and Adam would take Sam out and about, that was jettisoned, because it’s an unspoken rule that whoever cleans up the puke gets to sleep late, end of story. Especially if the puke happens at 4:30 a.m.
Adam slept later than he had in years, and I don’t know that there is anyone who deserved it more. Seriously, he cleaned up PUKE, in the DARK at FOUR IN THE MORNING. And was a ninja-like, so as not to wake me! Awww.
Whatever. No one said my life was easy, bitches.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Sunny The Pug,What the fuck?
32 Comments Add your own
1. Heather | September 6th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I’d suggest a bit bottle of bubble mix. Ready to use at the drop of a hat and a good distraction.
2. Shelly | September 6th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Not that it makes it any easier, but 18 months-ish was very, very difficult for me. It isn’t coincidental that my daughter was about that age when I went on Zoloft for about 9 months. I am not suggesting you seek meds, but I am assuring you that you are not alone. It is hard, it is frustrating and it is beyond anything you ever expected from this being that you love with all your person. It does get better and it will pass, just in time for something new and also challenging, but different and bearable.
3. Marie Green | September 6th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Jesus, tantrums and barfing DOG? I think you need more than a pill… perhaps a vacation?
I vaguely remember tantruming stages… I don’t think the more intense ones lasted very long. Is that encouraging? …That’s all I’ve got.
Hang in there. Kiss her while she’s sleeping. (That always helped me.)
4. -R- | September 6th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
I know! I had 4 days in a row home with B, and I was out of entertainment ideas by noon on Day 1! We do lots of coloring, and we occasionally throw stickers into the mix. Pretty exciting stuff!
Poor Sunny looks so neglected. Ha.
5. jonniker | September 6th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Heather: We’ve got bubbles at the ready!
Shelly: I’m already medicated. HA HA HA? HAHAHAHAHA.
6. Elsha | September 6th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
I am not one to give in to tantrums (much to stubborn for that) but I find that it helps me not get mad if I narrate the tantrum for her. Oh, you can’t watch the movie again, RIGHT NOW? Better throw yourself on the floor. Okay, now work up some tears. Oh, right, better start kicking. Helps keep me from getting emotional about the whole business. Good times, those tantrums.
7. AmandaJo | September 6th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
I.. This… You’re scaring the shit out of me. My son’s 10 months right now, and he’s just learned this fake cry thing. And it’s weirdly realistic, like some freaky myna baby call- it sounds JUST like his real cry. Not only his real cry, but his real, “MAYDAY! HELP! INJURY! MISERY! WOE!” cry…So every time I put him down and I hear this awful blatting, I break out in prickly sweats behind my knees because even though I know he’s fine, my instinct kicks it into fourth and for just an instant I’m in HELP THE BABY! mode… It gets me every time. I know there are epic tantrums coming, I just know it, and they’re going to kill me dead. Then CPS will come take the baby because zombies are not fit to parent anyone.
We also had the Colic of Doom, so.. I fear it. I fear the crying. Also: Loath. We’re in the same boat, is what I’m saying. And bitch is sinking.
8. Anyabeth | September 6th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
I hate to say this but 18 months was like critical mass for difficult behavior. Just a weird developmental stage and extra grumpy and growing and GAH.
At that age the toy kitchen was the best thing ever and she spent hours with it. Also the baby stroller. It was also the age when she learned to do errands around the house.
It does pass and it gets easier. But I am cringing on your behalf.
9. Blythe | September 6th, 2010 at 11:16 pm
This will probably not be at all practical or helpful but 18 months is when I realized I needed a brief but regular and predictable break, and found childcare for a few hours per week. It was a lifesaver for both of us.
I think you’re right – it was the stage when we suddenly found ourselves with free time, not just moving from waking to diaper to food to diaper to nap to diaper to taking a walk to diaper to lunch to nap blah blah blah, and he wanted actual entertainment that didn’t involve an exersaucer, and I was not cut out for teaching my toddler speed-reading or whatever I was supposed to be doing besides doing anything I could to stem the whining/tantrumming.
Of course, if I were you, I would spend my days playing hair salon because those ringlets are killing me. And I’m not just saying that because my kid didn’t have hair until he was three years old (although I’ll admit it is a contributing factor to my envy).
10. InFamous and DualShock 3 &hellip | September 6th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
[...] Love is a Catastrophe | Jonniker. [...]
11. Suebob | September 6th, 2010 at 11:44 pm
You’re probably just a terrible parent, that’s all.
BWAAAAA HAAAA HAAA joking. You know my idea of parenting is “let someone else do it.” And my idea of parenting advice is “Have you tried duct tape?”
(This is all a ploy to keep from having people ask me to babysit).
You’re a great parent. She’s a fabulous kid. Just outgrowing her own ability to express herself or something. She’ll be fabulous in debate club.
12. heidi | September 7th, 2010 at 6:54 am
Not to sound creepy or anything but I would love to come over and play with Sam for a bit. I love, love, love 18 months. And I miss it! My youngest is 10 now. TEN. Not that I want to start over. Because 4 kids is really plenty, if not bordering on too many. For me at least. Not you. Or anyone else. But for me the 4 I have is quite enough. But back to you… what I wouldn’t give for a little 18 month play time. So hard when you have to do it every day but so fun to do occasionally.
13. Lori | September 7th, 2010 at 7:05 am
Your daughter is absolutely adorable. Love the hair. Eighteen months. Right about the time I had my second child. Yep, that was poor planning. The high point during that time was me chasing a tantruming 20-month-old across a parking lot while lugging a newborn in her carseat. Fun times. For the most part, I’ve completely blocked that time period of child rearing out. But, in case you haven’t tried it yet, I suggest legos, the Wiggles and a sandbox. Those were the only things that helped me live to tell the tale. And if all else fails, give them a bath. My kids are still the cleanest kids on the block b/c if things get too rough, tossing them in a bubble bath seems to make the world right again.
14. Kristine | September 7th, 2010 at 7:20 am
I feel you with the tantrum thing. My first wasn’t too big on them, but his brother is going for world records, I think. His specialty is going boneless. What’s worse is that my eldest (almost four now) seems to be taking some hints from the younger protege & now he PUSHES ME. My days are half spent resisting the urge to cry and half spent resisting the urge to lock them in the closet.
But yeah, the cuteness thing. Saving grace, right there. (And she’s ADORABLE, yes.)
15. Cecily | September 7th, 2010 at 7:42 am
18 months is when we started putting Tori in a “Parent’s Morning Out” program at a local preschool. 9-12 three mornings a week.
Saved us.
16. Jessie | September 7th, 2010 at 7:46 am
Cheap stickers and printer paper is my solution to keeping the toddler busy for a while. She will stick stickers on paper until the cows come home. Even better if it’s some sort of scratch pad so she can turn the pages and stick the stickers wherever she wants. Throw in a crayon and I have a good 45 minutes of time to do what I need to get done. I just make sure she’s strapped in her booster seat so that she can’t get out and put stickers and crayon marks anywhere else.
17. Heather | September 7th, 2010 at 8:07 am
Oh, we are just at 17 months and the tantrums are starting. Mostly when the 3 year old takes something away (which I guess is very annoying, indeed), but lately the screaming starts when he get into the carseat, out of the bath, whenever a diaper needs to be changed or if I’m trying to dress him. I mean, clothes… the stuff tantrums are made of. Luckily my three year old is mostly out growing tantrum, but, not to scare you, the three year old’s tantrums are kind of epic and much worse than the 17 month old’s tantrums.
I am so done with tantrums, negotiating with little people is not my strong point. This is probably a serious parenting no-no but I do keep a bag of Trader Joes organic lolly pops with me at all times. I mostly use them as bribes when I’m without help and have to get a kid to leave the park or get into the car seat – we’re talking maybe once a week I have to pull one out, but they work and save my sanity. And again, I’m not a willy nilly with them.
I ordered these it’s worked wonders with keeping the kids busy -
Puppets http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=3144&f=4893
Lacing cards – http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=3144&f=893
Jar of Stuff – http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=3144&f=6268
Also, if Sam likes music and Laurie Berkner she might enjoy this – it’s the goofiest thing ever but my kids are glued to the tv when it’s on – http://www.amazon.com/Wee-Sing-Sillyville-Joy-Anderson/dp/B00026L7RM
Good luck! You certainly aren’t alone!
18. Life of a Doctor's Wife | September 7th, 2010 at 9:29 am
Yep, at least your tormentors are cute. I imagine it’s hard to stay mad at/frustrated with something when it’s giving you one of those faces. Curls and wrinkles FTW!
(But seriously – sorry you are going through all this. Yuck.)
19. Swistle | September 7th, 2010 at 11:54 am
We have a cat who’s peeing on things such as OUR BED and she appears to be doing it ON PURPOSE, and we are getting just about done with that. But then it keeps turning out that being done with pet issues has about as much effect as being done with tantrums. THEY KEEP HAPPENING OH GOD MAKE THEM STOP!!
20. Home Sweet Sarah | September 7th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
I think we all want to know what Ruby has to say about all this.
21. H | September 7th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
I feel for you, I do. The only consolation I have, and it isn’t much, is that at some point, it all becomes a blur. I know my kids had tantrums but I remember one or two specific instances. Good luck! I hope they stop soon.
Also, she is SO cute! Poor, poor Sunny. (And yes, three cheers for Adam!)
22. Ruby | September 7th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Hey Mommy,
This is Ruby (Sam’s twin within). I was talking to Nonno about your last post. By the way, you know Nanna & Nonno are coming to see you guys on Thursday for a few days on their way to Maine.
Back to the real issue – the “TANTRUMS” – I think you should get some dried pinto beans and elbow macaroni put them in a big plastic dishpan with a few plastic measuring cups, turn on oine of the cooking shows and let Sam have at it. Nonno told me that that worked for you when you were little.
By the way, you do know that Sam and I (Ruby, the twin within) love you with all our being.
Ruby
23. agirlandaboy | September 7th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
Can the puke not wait until later? I mean, 4:30 in the morning? Really? I won’t even get up that early for a basket of kittens and a back massage but PUKE? Oh Adam, they will saint you soon, won’t they?
24. SwingCheese | September 8th, 2010 at 9:52 am
We moved about 2 months ago. We bought a new couch, our first that wasn’t a hand-me-down. Our cat, in anger at the move (I assume), peed on it. And pooped. Also: peed in boyo’s room, peed on clean laundry, peed on the beanbag chair….I could go on, but nothing got to me like the couch. I cried. And she has feline IBS, so she constantly alternates between puking and diarrhea. At least she’s using the cat box again.
And boyo had hand, foot and mouth a few months ago. He was miserable, and I could not keep the fever down. Then I got it, and I was so convinced that I had strep throat that I went to a walk-in clinic. The only time in my life that my throat has ever hurt that badly was when I’ve had strep. Nope – I had hand, foot and mouth, too. And I had even more sympathy for boyo. That virus is HORRID!!
25. An Epic Dem Disaster Nort&hellip | September 8th, 2010 at 11:45 am
[...] Love is a Catastrophe | Jonniker. [...]
26. Melissa C | September 8th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Hand food and mouth is no joke. My daughter had it at 15 months for a full 10 days. The only thing she would eat was rice cereal mixed with water, ice water, and ice cream. Everything else hurt. Do the alternating tylenol and motrin routine. Sorry you have to deal with this – its a bitch.
27. Danielle [Left of Lost] | September 9th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
I have nothing to contribute other than: HOLY HELL SHE IS SO DAMN GORGEOUS! Seriously, I can’t even imagine that sweet little angel having tantrums!
28. Suniverse | September 10th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Diseases suck.
The best thing I ever did with the girl at 18 months was find a cooperative preschool that had a mom & tot program. Preschool teachers have a ZILLION ideas about activities and I gladly copied them at home.
29. I am looking to find a ha&hellip | September 12th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
[...] Love is a Catastrophe | Jonniker. [...]
30. Heather | September 14th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
just an fyi, but when my daughter got the hand foot mouth crud, the dr had me mix equal parts of maalox and benadryl (both chilled) to make a mouthwash. just swirl and spit the pretty pink color. it helped her out and soothed her mouth.
31. Gina B. | September 16th, 2010 at 8:39 am
Meltdown tactic I resorted to this week: Google pictures of puppies. Worked like a freaking charm. My Eva’s a bit younger than Sam but is a diva of the highest order already and… oh, the screeching.
32. I watch Gossip Girl (CW s&hellip | September 26th, 2010 at 6:55 am
[...] Love is a Catastrophe | Jonniker. [...]
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