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September 13th, 2010
As we speak right now, there is a FIGHT brewing on one of my Facebook friends’ pages about the superiority of cats vs. dogs. I’m watching it all and thinking that THIS! This is what’s wrong with the Internet. People are upset! People are saying mean things! And I don’t even know where to go with this, frankly, except to say, uh, wow, we’re talking about pets, not children or even mosques, for frak’s sake.
Speaking of dogs, oh HO HO HO, Sunny’s back at it with her shenanigans, and by shenanigans, I mean the pooping of the blood and other sundry asshole-related things, this time because she got super worked up after I took out the garbage. I TOOK OUT THE GARBAGE. My dog is of such a sensitive petite little flower nature that I can’t TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE without her coming completely and totally unglued and POOPING BLOOD ALL OVER MY FLOORS.
So I called the vet again (OH AGAIN) to see if we could get her back on a third round of the medication that, in my totally professional opinion, because I am a Google-certified VETERINARIAN, she should be on full-time at a very low dose, and do you know how aggressive I have to get for them to listen to me? It’s like they think it’s just PERFECTLY FINE for my dog to poop blood all over my house! Don’t worry, it’s not life threatening, they explain politely. She’s fine! If it keeps up, just bring her in for some IV fluids!
This is dropped all casual-like, as though, a) blood all over my floor is no big deal; and b) dropping $250 for IV fluids every month or so is ALSO no big deal, and it was at this point that I was like, LISTEN, I CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS. THERE IS BLOODY MUCUSY SHIT ALL OVER MY FLOOR.
(Side note: I have bleached and Nature’s Miracled, and it’s all clean, friends who visit, I swear.)
It is at this point that the vet got irritated with me and asked rather snottily if I was considering putting Sunny to sleep, and that to do so for something so minor would be unreasonable.
Ding dong, whaaa? I mean, call me crazy, but I can’t help but feel like I’m allowed to get a little irate when I’ve spent an entire afternoon cleaning up what bore an uncanny resemblance to Talbot’s geleed urned remains. It doesn’t mean I want animals to DIE, it means GIVE ME THE PILLS. THE PILLS. THE PILLLLLLZZZZZZ.
I got the pills, but my God. MY GOD.
This following a few days of horrendous guilt as you may have seen, because I spent all of last weekend complaining that my kid was acting like a tiny piece of whining toddler totalitarian hell, when it turns out she was SICK. SICK! With hand, foot and mouth disease! Which, if you didn’t know, is the grossest disease ever! It involves OPEN MOUTH SORES! BLERRRRRRGHHHH.
Also, I think it goes without saying that not only did I treat her tantrums as … well, tantrums, but I gave her ORANGES for breakfast that day, THEN took her to playgroup, THEN got home and realized she was approximately the temperature of a wood stove, THEN noticed her mouth resembled my lips after my first herpes infection and … once again, Mother of the Year, FTW!
I’m sorry Sam. I’m sorry Sunny. This week will be better, I swear.
*U2, natch
Entry Filed under: All Riled Up,Beeber McSteebs,Sunny The Pug
104 Comments Add your own
1. craftyashley | September 13th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Dr. Vet-
Give that lady the freakin’ pills! I’m assuming pooping blood is no cake walk for the dog, either! Pills! Dispense with the pills!
Yours Truly,
craftyashley
2. ABDPBT | September 13th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Before Mini turned 3 (the age in which the tantrums became a reality), every time his behavior was bad, bar none, I would talk about how he was being bad, and then a day later I would realize he was sick. And then the next time, it would happen again. Often, it was an ear infection, too, to double my guilt. AWESOME. I think it must be part of the parenting rite of passage.
Now that he’s 3, though, fuck that. He’s a hellion.
3. Jennie | September 13th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
My first tweet upon arriving at your house: Internet, she totally lied, she never cleaned up the bloody shit.
4. jonniker | September 13th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
HAHAH, Jennie, too late! Megan will be here tomorrow, and she will be able to refute!
5. jive turkey | September 14th, 2010 at 8:49 am
So, why is it that veterinarians seem so loathe to dole out the meds, but it’s the exact opposite with most fucking PEOPLE doctors?
My cat once got a UTI (translation: she could not pee AT ALL and was in horrendous pain) on a Friday, and the vet would not give me the antibiotics unless I got them a urine sample on Sat. morning. Well, I did (and getting that sample was quite a treat, I assure you), and then they were all “Eh, we’ll get you the meds Tuesday. We’re busy. And going home.” And my friend, I had to literally stage a fucking SIT-IN at the vet’s office to get those antibiotics right then and there. I have never made such a damn scene in my life. Why won’t they just take our money and give us the damn medicine already, good lord.
6. Life of a Doctor's Wife | September 14th, 2010 at 10:19 am
I hope the vet threw in some pills for you because holy god woman, that sounds horrible! All around! For all involved!
Thank heavens for bleach spray, amirite?
7. Emily | September 14th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Wow! Your vet (and Jive Turkey’s, for that matter) is made of MUCH sturdier mettle than mine. Mine, at the slightest hint of anything wrong with our pets, is putting pills and gels and syringes into a baggie (and charging us out the wazoo!) faster than you can say UT-whaaat? Here’s hoping Sunny gets better soon.
8. Nicole | September 14th, 2010 at 10:39 am
There is not a mother alive who hasn’t thought that their child was possessed by the devil, only to find out that the child was actually getting sick. What is wrong with you, you little bastard? Oh, you have a fever. That happens to all of us, so cut yourself some slack.
Also? Sorry about your dog. That totally sucks.
9. Shea | September 14th, 2010 at 10:50 am
Sounds similar to the problem my mother’s dog has. After 6 months of continously trying different medicines and steriods my mom quit giving him all of that and started feeding him pumpkin and acidophillus and he got better. May be worth looking into.
10. tara | September 14th, 2010 at 10:52 am
i dunno, you handled all this better than i would have.
11. Shea | September 14th, 2010 at 10:53 am
Sounds gross but try googling : pumpkin to treat bloody stool Good luck.
12. Morrigan | September 14th, 2010 at 11:12 am
I was going to get my knickers in a knot about you permanently tying images of poor Sunny and her shenanigans to my favourite song in the world, but I forgave you the minute you compared it to Talbot’s geleed urned remains and I snorted tea through my nose. What was with the evil little laugh Sookie gave as she sent them through the garbarator?
P.S. I’m sorry that you, Sam and Sunny are dealing with all of this. I hope you’re all feeling better soon.
13. Danell | September 14th, 2010 at 11:58 am
For the love! Please bring me Sunny so that I may Fix Her Shit for you! Please! For her! For your floors! For me! Lots of irritable bowel cases can be managed enough that TAKING OUT THE TRASH doesn’t cause a flare up!
(for the record, I’m not passing judgement on your current vet’s care…but at the very least it sounds like there’s some poor communication going on! At LEAST.)
14. Melospiza | September 14th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
1. You need a new vet.
2. Or at least say that it isn’t her pooping blood on the floors that makes you want to put Sunny to sleep, it’s the lack of good vet care.
See? This is the other problem with the internet. It makes us take on the battles of sheer strangers as OUR OWN (I may or may not want to call your vet myself, for Pete’s Sake). (I WON’T, though.) (Though it helps that I have no idea who she IS).
15. Alyce | September 14th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I occasionally request medication from my doctor(s). Hope my file doesn’t say I’m trying to commit suicide.
You need a new vet.
Hope both the kiddos are getting better.
16. Swistle | September 14th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
That comment from your vet was uncalled for. UNCALLED FOR.
17. Amanda | September 14th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Um, so. My dog used to do that. She had IBS and she’d start squirting bloody horror out her ass if you looked at her too hard. We had this powder to sprinkle over her food, and it worked really well. I think it was basically probiotics for dogs, but maybe there was some Valum in there too because she was neurotic without it. For instance: She was crated one day because I was drilling a hole in the wall and I didn’t need her losing her shit (ha) all over my apartment because the noise freaked her out, and when I went to get her out of the kennel it looked like someone had put an M-80 in a pudding cup and lit the fuse.
Bad times, man. DARK days. It does something to your psyche, cleaning up all that mucousy nastiness. Good luck with your vet. They can be pretty eye-rolly sometimes.
18. Christine | September 15th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Goodness, I totally missed this. If you’re vet is as asinine as she sounds, it is time for a new vet. Yes, putting a dog to sleep for IBS would be absurd, but it is also absurd that your dog gets worked up over garbage and while pooping blood may not be life threatening it is not pleasant for you OR for her. In fact, if taking a pill meant I wouldn’t shit blood all over myself, well: sign me up. Ugh.
I am testy though, so take it all with a grain of salt.
I do hope Sam is feeling better. Poor kid.
19. saly | September 15th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Did you even imply that you wanted to put Sunny to sleep? Sheesh. Were you talking to the actual vet? At our Vet’s office, if I have a question, it goes to a snotty Vet Tech. I have to push to talk to the real guy.
I hope Sam is feeling better, poor pumpkin
20. Kim | September 15th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
My Sheltie has colitis and does the same thing. The vet put her on a low dose of Metronadizole (or some such spelling) daily. She gets one pill in the morning every day. And the bloody poo stopped! My dog is now 11 years old and has been taking those pills for almost her whole life with no ill effects. Get thee to another vet ASAP. From what I understand this is a common problem and it’s not unheard of for dogs to need to take the pills full time and not just during an “episode”. It’s not like you want a prescription for crack for your dog! It’s an antibiotic for goodness sake. They should be helping you out.
21. spider | September 26th, 2010 at 2:40 am
just found your blog. my dog was diagnosed with ibd after years of switching food, m.e.tronidazole, t..ylan, prescription food, home cooked food, etc.
he then had surgery for bloat and was put on canned food and he was immediately better. no more bloody poop. he is very big and we got tired of dealing with canned food (wellness lamb or venison).we then switched him to raw (natures variety – lamb is the only kind that works for him. i add a spoon full of yogurt, some probiotics and some enzymes. he has never been better. no diarrhea for 4 years and counting.
vets know very little bout nutrition. pet food companies sponsor their prescription food. this has saved our (and the dog’s) life. good luck.
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How to become a product tester for Nike
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