Mistaken for Strangers
October 25th, 2010
Oh look that’s right, I have a blog! Not that anyone cares, because there’s nothing worse than a blogger being all, OH SO SORRY I AM SO SHURE YOU MISSED ME, but man, I missed doing THIS, so I hereby declare to post no fewer than three times a week moving forward, until the end of time, barring holidays and vacations, in the name of Blogging Jebus, Amen.
The reason for my absence this week was that Jennie and Mike were here visiting, and I know the last thing anyone feels like reading is another Mighty Blogger Circlejerk, because it’s ALWAYS Lovely Love My Internet Family, but let me tell you, there’s a significant difference between going out FOR AN EVENING with someone and coming away with a good feeling, and, say, spending FIVE DAYS WITH THEM IN YOUR HOUSE, and then — hand to God — when they leave, having it feel like the time was too short, and perhaps they could cancel the second part of their trip and just stay here, with us? No? Too forward? What if you just moved in then?
And let me tell you it is even MORE DIFFERENT when your husband — one of the most private people in the world — skips doing work each night to hang out with them because he, too, loves them so, and when they leave, have him feel THE SAME WAY, which is to say that they could have stayed another week, and I don’t think we’d minded in the slightest. Nay, we’d have enjoyed it. Their son Kyle, would have enjoyed missing them another week not so much, probably. But whatever, he can move in here, too. Problem solved.
We had SO much fun. They were here sightseeing and wedding-ing and such, but we spent almost every morning and evening together, and I’m sure by now you’re all reading Jennie, but what I think is impossible to capture is, a) how fully cute she and her husband are, in a non-barfy way; and b) how incredibly down to earth they are. Just good, solid, normal people that are so easy to be with — no tension or weirdness or discomfort, and I don’t think either of them has a pretentious bone in their body, for there was ZERO pretense among any of us, and it was SO REFRESHING. It felt like being with family, except without all that weird family tension and history. It was just EASY and COMFORTABLE, like wearing your favorite sweater, and I don’t think that point can be overstated.
I think it was the first night that one of them said something that was so disarmingly NORMAL and charming, that I looked at Adam and said, “These are our people,” to which he replied, “Yes.”
(Self-involved side note: I always use normal to describe people who fit my personal Good People Paradigm, or worse, People Who Are Exactly Like Us. I don’t think this is particularly generous or open-minded of me, but there you go. Apparently I think I’m the definition of Normal, which is so douchey, right? So douchey. AND YET.)
And oh, hey, do you want to see the pictures of us together?
LOOK A BLANK SPOT BECAUSE I DIDN’T TAKE ANY AGAIN. The closest thing I have to photographic evidence that they were even HERE is a picture I took with Jennie’s camera of her and Mike all dolled up for the wedding. If you look closely, you can kind of tell that’s my kitchen. THAT’S IT.
***
Now for the bad: The day they were slated to arrive, I realized that Sam had the most ASS-SEARING stomach virus with some kind of HORRID, FLESH-EATING side effect that left her in … oh dear. It was unpleasant downstairs, and if I so much as glanced at the kid’s behind, she wailed in agony. There was SKIN BREAKDOWN and some BLEEDING AND SLOUGHING and I wanted to DIE, but also, I just felt so bad for her. The solution, if you were wondering, was to ride it out and also, coat the kid in approximately four ounces of Triple Paste per diaper changing, which is how I arrived at the Very Awful Place of going through AN ENTIRE JAR of the stuff in less than a week.
What? You don’t think that’s a big deal? Oh, it’s just DIAPER CREAM? OH PEOPLE. THIS DIAPER CREAM GOES FOR $28 PER JAR WHAT THE EFF.
Which brings me to, seriously, the four biggest surprises to me about pregnancy and having a kid that with all the unsolicited assvice, no one ever told me, so now, I am telling you:
1) While pregnant, you may possibly puke until you pee your pants. Not a little pee, but like, a FULL BLADDER’S WORTH. No, it doesn’t matter if you just went. The pee will materialize from some mysterious reserve your body keeps just for these occasions. What is wise is to puke into a bag-lined bucket while sitting on the toilet. Minimizes cleanup. Oh, and this will pretty much happen every time you cough from now until eternity, THE END.
2) When you give birth vaginally, your post-birth ladybits will be so swollen that you swear — SWEAR! — that another baby is crowning, until you press a little and realize, nope, that’s just YOUR VAGINA, swollen to the size of a cantaloupe. No, I’m not kidding or exaggerating. Okay, fine, HALF a cantaloupe, with the cut half resting on your pelvis. SERIOUSLY. (This does go away, thank you GOD.)
3) Already stated, but worth repeating: worst part of a backdoor stomach virus is not the cleanup, but the SEARING SCREAMING DIAPER RASH. I’m telling you, DID NOT ANTICIPATE THIS.
4) You will gladly — nay, GLEEFULLY — spend $30 on something you spread like peanut butter on your kid’s ass. FOR THEM TO POOP ON.
YOU ARE WELCOME, PREGNANT PEOPLE OF THE WORLD.
Happy Tuesday!
*The National
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Frienz,Nuttin'
155 Comments Add your own
1. Elizabeth | October 25th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
AH, a week with Jennie and Mike!? I am way jealous.
2. kalisa | October 25th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
The surprise to me after I gave birth was the first time I stood up and all the blood GUSHED out of me. I looked at the nurse in shock and asked, “How long is *that* going to go on?” and she said, “Six to eight weeks.” I had no idea.
3. Katy | October 25th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Well, damn. That was awesome.
My big shock was when I peed on myself while sneezing. AT WALMART. Ran out of there so fast it’s not even funny.
4. rebecca | October 25th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
I can’t tell you how many times I stopped to puke on the way to work (while pregnant) and wound up turning around to change my pants.
and the diaper rashes? yikes. CJ is lactose intolerant, which results in craps that smell like rotten milk and beet red rashes…i nearly kissed my doc when she gave me a prescription cream. when it cleared it up in one ONE! application, I nearly offered oral sex.
5. Laura McDonald | October 25th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
My biggest shock was when I stood up for the first time after giving birth and my post-pregnancy belly fell down to my knees like an accordion. I was expecting a flat stomach after the baby was out. Surprise!
Also, Ny.statin is a lifesaver for those raw, bloody rashes. It’s prescription, but clears things up like magic.
6. -R- | October 25th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Holding your kid down while he/she screams in terror and pain as you change his/her diaper – it is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do as a parent so far, I think.
I’m glad you guys enjoyed Jennie and Mike so much.
7. agirlandaboy | October 25th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
What you need is to hire me as your professional photographer. I’ll follow you around and document your life. I only charge a little extra for “lifestyle”-type processing.
Seriously, though, I don’t know who I’m more jealous of–you because you got to hang out with them, or them because they got to hang out with you.
8. Carla Hinkle | October 25th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
Somehow I avoided the large-scale peeing on myself while puking when pregnant with number 1. No matter, I more than made up for it when pregnant with numbers 2 and 3, often (like every day for weeks) pissing large puddles on the bathroom floor while yakking my guts out. NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT WOULD HAPPEN.
I remember being VERY surprised at my post-nursing boobs with baby #1. Calling them “National Geographic boobs” is extremely charitable. “Long, pendulous, tiny bags of flesh” is more accurate. I had no idea! They do shrink/firm up a bit, at least. But still.
9. heidi | October 26th, 2010 at 6:58 am
Total assvice for the future… try lansinol. Yes, the breast cream. It is a miracle. My youngest is 10 – and no, I haven’t breastfed him in over 9 years – and I STILL keep a tube in the house. And maybe, possibly bought a new tube last year.
10. Shelly | October 26th, 2010 at 7:28 am
It wasn’t only the shocking swelling of my ladybits after birth, but also the bits that live up around the corner. Clearly the real estate between ladybits and the pooper is small, but I was not anticipating that even my other hole would be just as enormously swollen.
11. A. | October 26th, 2010 at 7:46 am
I was at a wedding this past weekend and just loved how dancing – just dancing, doing the Electric Slide! – made me pee. I turned to another mother and confided in her about my situation. She was like, “and trampolines and jumping jacks… just say goodbye to those things too.”
12. Suki | October 26th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Sticking my fingers in my ears…la la la la la
13. saly | October 26th, 2010 at 9:10 am
Yes, I was showing my 5yo daughter that I could jump rope, despite her claims that there was no way her mother could jump rope.
Oh, I can still jump rope. But try explaining why you need to quickly run in to the house after about 4 jumps.
14. Shin Ae | October 26th, 2010 at 9:21 am
I loved this post. Yes, there were so many nasty surprises surrounding pregnancy and birth.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: those pee spots on my pants are a badge of honor.
15. Marie Green | October 26th, 2010 at 9:27 am
I’m so glad you had such a wonderful time w/ Jennie. I think that feeling of finding one’s people is so real and so comforting… I also think of people that are like me as “normal”. And I love people that can just be real. It’s what I crave, actually, and what I’ve been very lucky to find in my local group of friends.
Also, I’m so glad Sam’s badonkadonk is all better. I was actually worried about your daughter’s bum- how weird is that?
16. Belly Girl | October 26th, 2010 at 9:50 am
What a lovely post about your visit with them. No doubt they had an amazing time too.
Interesting segway – and I almost peed myself reading about the cantaloupe. So true.
17. Maura | October 26th, 2010 at 10:06 am
All this cough-sneeze-blink-and-you-PEE talk has scared the bejebus out of me. Seriously. I actually asked my mom about it an an offhand-but-tres-awkward way and she looked at me like I had two heads. She said that she had 4 kids and does not pee except intentionally. Then she gave me a hug because I clearly looked traumatized. Hopefully that sort of control runs in the family if I should ever decide to have a kidlet.
18. H | October 26th, 2010 at 10:10 am
We have friends like that – a couple-turned-family that we’ve spent time with for just shy of 30 years. We all refer to the end of our visits as “returning to real life” because we have so much fun and get so caught up in our visits that it seems as though we’re living in a bubble. I’m happy that you’ve found that kind of friendship!
19. danish | October 26th, 2010 at 10:29 am
About 3 weeks postpartum I was with my mom and the baby at the park. We started laughing hysterically at something, as we do, and we both peed our pants so bad, which lead to more laughing, which lead to more peeing. Unfortunately we had a LONG walk of shame back to the car.
20. Kristabella | October 26th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
THIS?
“It felt like being with family, except without all that weird family tension and history. It was just EASY and COMFORTABLE, like wearing your favorite sweater, and I don’t think that point can be overstated.”
SO TRUE! This is how I feel when I’m with Ali and her family. And my friends and family do not understand because we’re so close and we met on the INTERNET! GAH!
But that describes it so perfectly. And I may steal it (with proper attribution) for my post.
21. SBMaya | October 26th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
My mom never complained of this….now I’m going to be duty-bound to ask her and my sister (the bratty baby who has a child so angelic and delightful that I have been infected with a severe case of baby rabies) if they pee when they laugh.
…uhhh…..I’m sure that won’t be awkward…….at..all..
No really, glad Sam’s bum is all sorted out and having Your Kind of People is THE BEST. I wish we had some around!
22. mar | October 26th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Hmm, why do I unconsciously do Kegels when you write about certain subjects?
Glad Sam’s bum’s better.
23. Olivia | October 27th, 2010 at 9:32 am
My baby was on and off constipated for a few months and I never thought I would be so intimately involved in another human’s poop and butt hole. Holding a crying baby who is trying to poop, watching for any progress and even helping it gentley out witha q-tip, well….parenthood brings about the strangest things.
Also, KY lubricant really helps those suppositories slip right in.
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26. maggie may | October 28th, 2010 at 12:37 am
i’m 35 weeks pregnant, and in my 6th month, i caught a god awful cough, the worst i’ve ever had, for TWO WEEKS. and i coughed and peed so much my husband bought me Depends. i wrote about it on my blog, actually, because i was so miserable i had to find a way to make it kind of funny. because it WASN”T.
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Mommie,
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