Shame and Fortune
November 3rd, 2010
Oh let’s kick it old-school with some bullet points that have nothing to do with one another, so holla!
- Because we were out trick or treating for far longer than we anticipated, and hell if either of us was going to miss taking Sam, we missed the hosting part of trick or treating and received approximately five kids over the course of the remaining hour. This is fine, although my sister warned me in a dire tone that this is generally bad form and we will eventually pay for it with, I don’t know, teenagers with eggs or angry parents or something that involves toilet paper. I don’t know. What is not fine is the amount of Twix, Snickers and miscellaneous Reese’s products I have in my possession, and is why, for the last two three days, my lunch has consisted of two mini Twix, a Snickers and a small bowl of canned beets (for fiber and vitamins and … I don’t know).
Speaking of Twix, there is only one way to eat it, which is to gnaw of the caramel, then eat the cookie separately, and I will not be told otherwise. What I will NOT tolerate, however, is the Reese’s Fast Break, which is seriously lacking in crunchy texture (WHY SO MUCH NOUGAT?), and I am terribly disappointed, for I got them mixed up with the Take 5, featuring delightfully crunchy, salty pretzels and you know what, Reese’s? I call bullshit on your variety bag, for there were no Take 5 bars. Bull. Shit.
I will also say that Adam worked from home today, and around 3 p.m., very gently asked how much candy, exactly, I was consuming, because it sure seemed like he heard the crinkle of a wrapper approximately every five minutes. Which: busted. It’s not really lunch if it lasts all day and involves nothing more than chocolate and beets.
- In the vein of Stuff No One Told Me About Birthing A Child, I’ll tell you that since having Samantha, I’ve had zero menstrual cramps. NOT A ONE. Okay, fine maybe half a one, but it wasn’t even worth getting off my duff to get some Tylenol, much less anything with punch. This is a tremendous contrast to the backbreaking, debilitating cramps I experienced before getting pregnant, and that includes after my thyroid levels were regulated (hypothyroidism can cause HORRID menstrual cramps) and I tell you this only because I’m constantly regaling you with tales of horror about THE VAGINA THAT ATE MANHATTAN, but really, there are upsides, for some of us, from this whole birthing kids thing. Besides the actual kid, I mean.
- The new TV fall lineup is truly wretched. Nothing new has piqued my interest. NOTHING. I’ve got three episodes of The Event on my DVR, and I’ve had ZERO motivation to watch any of them, and it just … well, it makes me sad.
- Did I tell you guys I live ten minutes from Shaq? And that in an effort to show Jennie and Mike his house, we ended up FULLY IN HIS DRIVEWAY, which is not something you expect when arriving to spy at a celebrity’s house?
- Did I tell you guys Jennie and I (and a bunch of kickass writers) are now doing Food Lush? Well, if I didn’t, I failed. It’s great, and is designed to be recipes and food-related stuff for normal people who don’t feel like making bastilla from scratch and sure as SHIT don’t have the budget or time to agonize over every little thing. I will say with a mixture of pride and bitterness that this post from Sarah is the reason why I spent the majority of naptime wrestling with an eleven-pound PORK LOIN purchased for $18 a BJ’s, but let me tell you, I got four big tenderloin cuts, four thick pork chops and a giant pile of bits to use for the Crock Pot, and it all works out to less than $1 per serving, including lunches and leftovers and holy cow, you guys, I RIPPED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT PORK LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS ON TOP CHEF OR SOMETHING.
That’s all I got. Pork, chocolate and menstruation.
Happy Thursday!
*Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Entry Filed under: Boston!,Food follies!,General jackassery,I Love Television,Uncategorized
34 Comments Add your own
1. maggie may | November 4th, 2010 at 12:52 am
i have hypothyroidism too, didn’t know about the menstral cramp connect? i have stage four endometriosis which causes horrible period pain, and i do know that for some reason that isn’t explained yet, hypothyroid and endo. often go together (as well as with IBS)
2. Ginger | November 4th, 2010 at 2:08 am
Thank you, I’m not alone on the TV thing! And I love TV, so this makes me sad. Seriously, I have all of The Event, but have seen…one? I watched that No Ordinary Family or whatever, and it was…fine, I guess. Same with Hawaii 5-0 and Raising Hope. I’ll watch them if they’re on, but…meh.
And oh man, how I wish I were in your camp with the cramps thing. Mine are now…well, I liken them to the early hours of my horrific back labor. So there’s that. (they do only last one day, so it could be worse).
3. jonniker | November 4th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Maggie May: Absolutely a connection. It can also cause horribly heavy periods, but like anything related to your thyroid, it SO varies from person to person.
4. mel | November 4th, 2010 at 7:48 am
It is the ONLY way to eat a Twix. I thought I was the only one. Now I must go check out FoodLush
5. Li | November 4th, 2010 at 8:22 am
just have to tell you how much i look forward to your posts. That is really the main reason I am posting a comment.
also, the TV this season does suck. the only new show i started watching was Outlaw, only because i have a thing for Jimmy Smits. Michael warned me that it would/should get cancelled, and sure enough, it has been.
also, SHAQ? i need more specifics – i was not aware that he was living in MetroWest. My thing for Jimmy Smits pales in comparison to my thing for the Celtics.
6. Christine | November 4th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Goodness, this just reinforces my belief that it is high time to go to a real endocrinologist since my primary tested for thyroid stuff, but I totally feel like all is not well in thyroid land between the weight gain, depression and hair loss – I am awesome.
Oh and you can’t talk about the amazing properties of your chocolate chip cookies without sharing the recipe, J. That just is not fair. Thank you and I will be looking for the recipe on Food Lust daily.
7. TwoBusy | November 4th, 2010 at 9:32 am
Poor Manhattan.
8. Melanie Kerton | November 4th, 2010 at 9:53 am
I keep being told by my primary that my thyroid is A-OK yet I still question it…. I get horrible periods and cramps (in fact thanks to heavy flow I am also borderline anemic)…… and I have had two kiddos… The only thing my doc suggests at this point is the Mirena but I am not doing anything with hormones, so thats out. I figure hell, I probably only have 15 or so more years until “the change”
9. Life of a Doctor's Wife | November 4th, 2010 at 10:39 am
I eat Twix the opposite way – cookie first, then caramel. And I so agree with you about the Reese’s Fast Break – chewy is not what I expect from something called “Fast Break.” I expect something immediately crunchy.
10. agirlandaboy | November 4th, 2010 at 11:00 am
I never got cramps before giving birth (it was more like a slightly unpleasant twinge in my lower back for half a day) (I KNOW), but now it’s much worse than that. Nothing debilitating or anything, but DAMN, so unfair.
11. kakaty | November 4th, 2010 at 11:30 am
bullet points of response:
-we always left the bowl of candy on the porch with a note to help yourself to one because I fear the wrath of candy-less kids. The first time we expected to come back to an empty bowl but no, people seemed to respect the sign. This year I stayed home with the baby and it was boring. We’ll be leaving the candy on the porch again next year so I can trop through the streets with a plastic cup of wine.
-Yes, that indeed is the proper way to eat a Twix. Just like you have to eat a Kit-Kat by nibbling off all the corners/edges of chocolate and only then eating the center. No? I’m the only one?
- For me my migraines went away for 2 years after having M. It was wonderful
-Try Walking Dead. I’m not a zombie freak but I liked it.
-Let me know when you almost literally walk into Shaq. You know because you didn’t notice the 7 FOOT MAN standing in front of you, then your too damn gobsmacked to even apologize or do anything but stare at him, mouth agape. I still can’t believe that happened.
-as you know I tried your tomato sauce and LOVED it!
12. Jen | November 4th, 2010 at 11:42 am
Wait, so am I going to look like a colossal culinary douche if I post about bastilla? We actually do make bastilla from scratch (are there actually pre-made versions at like TJ’s that I don’t know about??) every other year or so. Well, maybe some food posts are better on my own blog! *rethinks entire publishing plan for Food Lush*
13. jonniker | November 4th, 2010 at 11:48 am
HAAA. Jen, actually, I want to learn how to make bastilla. I tried one year, to disastrous results. It was the most fussy complicated dish I could think of.
My point was that it’s a blog for normal people who aren’t home all day cooking from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m.
Teach me how to make bastilla!
14. Rebecca (Bearca) | November 4th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
Take 5 are the SINGLE MOST DELICIOUS CANDY BAR EVER INVENTED.
The End.
15. mar | November 4th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
I never had cramps (once a year at most) until the last 2 years in which I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. That explains a lot of things.
Also, S bought Fast Break (& Snickers!) for the ‘treaters. Not a huge fan of peanut butter (freak, I know!), but it *was* much too nougat-y and lacking in crunch. I put potato chips on my sandwiches for extra crunch, for pete’s sake!
And kakaty, of course you must eat the edges off of a Kit Kat!
16. Kristin H | November 4th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I’m sorry, but you’ve got the Twix all wrong. The only way to eat them is FROZEN. Try it. I swear.
My body was confused after I gave birth too. It just forgot to start having periods again. I nursed for 9 months (no period), and I didn’t have another period for ANOTHER nine months after that, when I decided to stop tempting fate and went back on birth control. I thought I might be period-free forever! But alas.
17. chelle | November 4th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Damn, now I want a Take 5. And we just finished our leftover Halloween candy!
Also? I made your spaghetti sauce and I may have to name my firstborn after you. Magical. And made of real food! No more jars for me! THANK YOU!
18. Carla Hinkle | November 4th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Hey, you should watch Nikita. It’s actually pretty good. I enjoy Hawaii 5-0 to pass the time, but Nikita I actually look forward to.
And I assume this means that you (like oh, almost everyone else in America) didn’t watch Rubicon on AMC, which was HANDS DOWN the best show I’ve seen in a while. Maybe catch it on iTunes or Hulu or something? It will probably get cancelled which is a shame since it was soooo good.
19. meeshell | November 4th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Just wanted to say I love reading your blog. I’ve never eaten a Twix any other way than just biting right into it.
Also, I love Food Lush – I haven’t made any of the recipes yet, but the food all looks amazing. And best of all, it is all relatively easy to make and something I would actually eat. I had no idea you were writing on there!
20. Christine | November 4th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Carla! I watched Rubicon! We actually watch all of the AMC shows, because I haven’t found one that I dislike. Hooray! And I hope, hope, hope they bring it back because I will shrivel up without it and I need to know all about what happened the last episode.
21. Miranda | November 4th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
First- Fast Breaks are to be eaten with Teddy Grahams. Squish some of the candy bar between 2 little bears- delicious. Don’t ask how I know this.
Second, I have (had?) endometriosis and being PG gave my endo a chance to die off and I’ve been almost cramp-free (or what seems like cramp-free in comparison to what I’d endured for years) for over 2 years now. Pure awesomness.
Lastly, I heart Food Lush.
22. Josefina | November 4th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Very lucky you. I get worse cramps since having babies.
I am very jealous of everyone’s Halloween candy. I feel deprived as I read of how everyone is trying not to eat it. I think I need to go get some. I think it could be an improvement over the vast quantities of rice pudding I’ve been cramming in my maw.
23. lesley | November 5th, 2010 at 1:16 am
OMG! That’s TOTALLY how I eat a Twix. There is NO other way to eat it. I eat all the chocolate off a kit-kat, then eat each wafer layer by layer! I also eat all the nougat and caramel first on a Mars Bar (Canadian version), then eat the thick chocolate top last! My husband thinks I have a problem.
24. Olivia | November 5th, 2010 at 8:30 am
I like a Raising Hope, but as for the rest of new fall tv? We’ve got a bunch of stuff on the dvr, but haven’t started anything. We’re waiting until we have time to watch them, but with a 1.5 year old in the house that could be another 15 yeas or so.
Cramps, I still get them, but they are sooo much lighter than they were pre-baby. Amen to that!
25. amandapm | November 5th, 2010 at 9:05 am
“That’s all I got. Pork, chocolate and menstruation.” Okay – I was doing okay with that. It was the bowl of beets that got me. When you run out of Halloween candy, what side dishes will you be enjoying with your bowl of beets then?
26. Carmen | November 5th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Neither of us wanted to miss out on taking the kids either, so Leo took them south of our house for a while, returned to the house and then I took them north on our street. That worked out well as we then didn’t have to fear any retribution for not being there.
You are one LUCKY woman re: the cramps. Mine got a bit worse after having Kieran and after Lexi? Debilitating. I want to curl up in a ball & whimper for 2 days.
I’ve been watching No Ordinary Family and it’s not horrible. Although I may have a large soft spot for Darla from Angel, so…maybe don’t believe a word I say.
27. AddyMuck | November 5th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
First – VERY interesting regaring the period/cramps/etc. and hypothyroidism – the drama & horror of high school & college now explained!
Second – Fall lineup – I totally agree. HOWEVER – check out the new Sherlock Holmes on PBS Masterpiece Mystery! – it’s really, really good. We loves us some SH in our house.
Very much enjoy reading your blog – I look forward to your posts!
28. Erin | November 5th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
“Speaking of Twix, there is only one way to eat it, which is to gnaw of the caramel, then eat the cookie separately, and I will not be told otherwise.”
Oh this is so, so correct.
29. H | November 5th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I’m in the group with worse cramps after having children. Also – cramps during ovulation, which I never had before giving birth. Blergh.
The only new show I love is Raising Hope. I also liked My Name is Earl, so maybe I’m just a Greg Garcia fan.
I need to check out Food Lush. I’m struggling to find dishes for 1 or 2 now that the kids are gone so I need to get some fresh ideas.
30. Home Sweet Sarah | November 5th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
YES. You are awesome.
31. Katy | November 7th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
I’d love to comment on pork or chocolate, but I’m too busy laughing at THE VAGINA THAT ATE MANHATTAN. That is some wonderful writing there.
32. Kerri Anne | November 8th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
I sort of think “Pork, chocolate, menstruation” would make an amazing t-shirt slogan. No one (save for anyone who read this post) would have any idea what it meant, and that would be my favorite part.
33. Sabrina | November 9th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I agree with Rebecca. Take 5 = best.candy.ever.
But, um, I think they stopped making them. I have been searching for more than a year. At least in Pittsburgh, they have vanished.
And a small piece of me has died.
34. Deb | November 9th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
All these people talking about your tomato sauce and I can’t find it!
I NEED THE SAUCE.
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