O Tannenbaum
December 13th, 2010
Just after Thanksgiving, I was having a boatload of trouble sleeping — it started with the Black Friday hangover, actually, although that was mostly coincidence. I would lie awake at night, consumed with the most ridiculous, irrational anxiety over, well, ridiculous, irrational things, turning absurd outcomes of improbable events over and over and over in my head until it was 1 or 2 a.m. and I would collapse from sheer exhaustion.
But wait! There was more! Around 4, I would wake up to pee, natch, because I haven’t slept through the night since I was pregnant with Sam, and nope, not kidding, I GET UP TO PEE EVERY NIGHT, IT IS CRAZY MAKING, and then, having been sufficiently roused by fumbling around for toilet paper, I’d be AWAKE! AGAIN! thinking about all of the absurd, irrational things to come, and I’d fall asleep around 6, and and wake up again at 7:30 to the toddler and hey, are you tired yet? Because I am yawning just typing this out.
The culprit turned out to be a variety of medication issues, one of which needed to be increased/changed, and — SURPRISE! — I’d botched my thyroid meds and made myself hyperthyroid, which explains why, in addition to the anxiety, I was PULSATING WITH HEAT and also, twitching.
I went to the doctor last Tuesday, and holy jebus, I’ve been sleeping. Sleeping! LOOK AT ME, WITH THE SLEEPING.
Wait, where are you going? We got our Christmas tree this weekend, though there was some disagreement on the lighting of said tree (I lost, and I’m really quite happy about it, surprisingly), it was so much fun. Adam and I have never been able to have a tree before, really, as we’ve never done Christmas at home — for the last six years or so, we’ve been living away from home, and it seemed pointless and dangerous to put up a tree. Now that we’re home, with family and friends close by, we got to do all the things normal people do, which includes discovering that live trees smell like Christmas tree candles. Seriously, I did not KNOW THIS, having never had a live tree in my own home! How delightful! It seems that there is a REASON that the candles smell like they do. IT EXISTS IN NATURE.
It was soothing for a day or two — seriously, it permeates our whole house, and is awesome — until this morning’s liquid smoke-doused Crock Pot pork mingled with the pine, leaving a nauseating combination of a crisp winter’s day and a Texas barbecue in its wake. Adam gleefully fled the house, his sleeve over his nose for protection, leaving Sam and I stranded in a terrible gas chamber of incongruity. After a few hours I became numb to it all and managed to make it through the day without vomiting and/or throwing the Crock Pot out the window.
Onward! Some Christmas tree photo events as they happened (click to embiggen):
Help! I can help!
{Five-dollar garage sale kitchen in background. Perhaps now you will see why I want a new one for her for her birthday. Also, we know the rug looks like a giant vagina. It came with the house and we haven’t gotten around to replacing it. WHO MAKES A RUG WITH AN ORCHID ON IT?}
I was told I would be helping.
No, seriously, YOU SAID I COULD HELP.
Aaaaand, scene.
I love the spit out of my little family.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Boston!,General jackassery,The anxious anxiety
18 Comments Add your own
1. Jen | December 13th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Jonna! That little Sam of yours is one adorable girl! I can’t believe how tall she is and how much HAIR she has! Seriously – you have seen pictures – Avery has virtually the same amount of hair she had as a baby! We are jealous of the lush curls!
I am glad you are sleeping so well now! I’ve been having those 4am wakeups myself, but I’ve got nothing to blame but my holiday craziness.
As for the tree, we went fake this year for the first time ever, and I’m pretty darn happy about it. I do need to get some sort of tree scented candle up in here though.
2. Nic | December 13th, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Sam! She looks SO OLD. Like she’s going to go to kindergarten or something. Whoa.
3. jonniker | December 13th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Oh, Nic, she’s still a little peanut, I promise.
4. Jennie | December 13th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
You know what I say? Well, it’s just not FAIR that we were just there and now you’re going on like the holidays mean something WITHOUT us. HRMPH.
(SAM! I MISS YOU!)
5. jonniker | December 13th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
HAAA, Jennie, i assure you, our lives are missing you guys terribly, STILL. I mentioned you guys in the context of Christmas cards the other day, and Adam — SHIT YOU NOT — got a goofy smile on his face and shrugged happily, “Oh, Jennie and Mike!” There was SIGHING.
I’m not lying. Not even a little. The distance HURTS, though I am counting the days until your next visit, as promised. I CANNOT WAIT. I am only sad that Mike isn’t coming, too.
6. Caitlin | December 14th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Yes! Why IS Sam going to kindergarten tomorrow? Where is your baayyyybeeeee??! Oh there she is, snuggling on Dad’s lap.
“Also, we know the rug looks like a giant vagina… WHO MAKES A RUG WITH AN ORCHID ON IT?” Ahh HAHA HA HA HA.
True story: I was with my best friend when she got orchids tattooed on her foot (at the time, it was maybe her 5th or 6th tattoo, which I think made it easier to swallow what I am about to say), and when the artist was mostly done I absent-mindedly blurted out “It looks like a bunch of vaginas!” I still haven’t lived it down. And I do feel bad because um, TOO LATE. But it does, it DOES look like vaginas! But at least we can laugh about it now. And by we I mean me and my friend, Vagina Foot McGee.
7. Kristine | December 14th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Holy crap, it DOES look like a vagina! But, really, that munchkin face is adorable.
We got our tree last weekend and I forgot to water it one day (ONE DAY) and it’s already refusing to drink anymore. Now it’s like having a geriatric living in the house, waking up each morning to wonder if it’s completely dead yet. It’s put a morbid spin on Christmas. For me anyway. My husband thinks I’m just insane.
8. Josefina | December 14th, 2010 at 10:30 am
This post was so funny. I had the Trapped-In-the-House-With-the-Smell experience when I made chocolate-coffee cookies, which sound like they should be delicious, but instead I was almost driven to vomits by the pervasive and lingering odeur. So horrible, I still shudder when I think of it.
9. Kristabella | December 14th, 2010 at 11:08 am
That kid is so adorable!
Also, I don’t drink enough water during the day, so for some reason, I feel the need to drink as much as I can from like 8 PM until I go to bed. I get up to pee EVERY NIGHT! And I’ve never been pregnant!
10. Christine | December 14th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Huh, vag rug? Weird. Sam looks like a grown up! And how is she so darned cute when angry.
11. julie | December 14th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
I hate to break this to you, but I only started sleeping through the night (okay, staying in bed w/out going to the bathroom) about 2 months ago. And I still pee a little every time I sneeze.
Or laugh.
12. Li | December 14th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
O. M. G. the cuteness. the attitude. the awesomeness. i must see Sam in person soon! (and speaking of which, i googled your a$$ to find your address so we can send you an invite to E’s bday bash… hope its not some other Rubin family that shows up on January 8!)
Also — the peeing at night thing. I fear it will never end. And to commenter Julie I say “do you mean to tell me that sneezing will always be a touch and go situation?”
13. Katy | December 15th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Her little face–it’s perfect. So perplexed and not happy.
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