27 Comments Add your own

• 1. Jeanne  |  December 16th, 2010 at 6:50 am

  I’m OK with Lunchables, but can’t see why anyone would actually CRAVE them. The crackers taste a little stale, the meat is slimy, and the cheese is not quite right. Plus, they’re usually $2.50 in the grocery store (when not on sale) and it would prpbably cost no more that 50 cents to throw that together yourself out of much better quality foods. Having said that, I do purchase their sandwiches for my 8 yo to take in her lunch now and then.

  I have a friend who chose to get prgnant at 16. Two years later she had another child with the same guy, but they split up during that pregnancy. Since then she’s married and had another child. I haven’t actually asked her, but would guess that she hopes her daughter doesn’t make the same choices. It’s one thing if “things happened” and you got pregnant that young, but to CHOOSE to be a teen mom? That’s something I just don’t get.

• 2. Shannon  |  December 16th, 2010 at 9:25 am

  I’m actually much more annoyed by the Nick Jr. commercials where Salma Hayak and Dora the Explorer nag you to work harder to prepare your kid for kindergarten. I’m sure this is some sort of CYA measure for Nickelodeon so they can be all, “Look, we told you to go do some flash cards with your kid, and it’s not our fault you parked him in front of our network all day instead.”

  But I just get all freaked out, like, “Are we doing enough to prepare him for kindergarten? Salma Hayak and a cartoon told me we’re supposed to be preparing him for kindergarten!”

  And the sad reality is, the only parents who really freak out about these things are the ones who are probably already doing enough to prepare their kids for kindergarten anyway.

• 3. Nimble  |  December 16th, 2010 at 9:25 am

  I won’t buy Lunchables for my kids so they think there’s something precious about them. I predict that they will live off them for a few weeks in college and then move on.

  During my pregnancies I was always jonesing for protein, lean meat protein. A buffalo burger made me extremely happy.

• 4. Maura  |  December 16th, 2010 at 10:10 am

  The pregnancy pacts that were in the news a while back knocked me back, too. And when the friends of the kids on 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom are, like, no, we didn’t use condoms, we just didn’t think it would happen… I want to throw the remote at the TV. This is 2010, chickadees! You have sex ed! IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.

  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a Lunchable… they were too expensive for my family of 6, but I’ve eaten enough other crap to make up for it. Liverwurst? Cool whip? Marshmallows? I’m probably at least 30% chemicals by now. I might be flammable.

• 5. Courtney  |  December 16th, 2010 at 10:29 am

  I’m pregnant right now and just the thought of lunchables has me thinking about running to the bathroom. If you’re going to talk about jelled meats can you put a warning at the top of the post for people with morning sickness? Just kidding, but I am horrified that 16 year olds are ttc and craving lunchables. Both things make me want to puke (not that there is much right now that doesn’t)

• 6. jive turkey  |  December 16th, 2010 at 10:38 am

  I have to admit that while Lunchables thoroughly gross me out (as do those little jars of vienna-sausage-looking things from Gerber Graduates) I am deeply satisfied by the episodes of Maury and the like where the baby-wantin’ teenagers get scared straight by 24 hours of taking care of an infant. I also get a little scared wondering who volunteers their baby up for such a thing, but whatever works.

• 7. -R-  |  December 16th, 2010 at 11:45 am

  I always wanted Lunchables when I was growing up but my mom always packed me a sandwich instead. I am not sure what the attraction is for kids.

  I bet that for 16-year-olds who want to have babies, trying for “a long time” means 6 weeks. That doesn’t make it ok; it’s really just another example of why 16-year-olds are dumb and shouldn’t be trying to have babies! If it happens, it happens, but I can’t imagine WANTING to have a baby at that age.

• 8. laura  |  December 16th, 2010 at 12:46 pm

  i have four children and wanted four children, these teens and certain shows” make me ill. what the freak, insane! this summer i saw a YOUNG, girl at the boardwalk pregnant and i honestly wanted to cry for her. grr breaks my heart.

• 9. The Maiden Metallurgist  |  December 16th, 2010 at 1:32 pm

  As a currently pregnant adult I can attest that there is, right now, not one part of a lunchable I’d be willing to eat, and not for fear of lysteria. Wait- do they still include an Andies Mint? Or am I dating myself? If they do, I would be willing to eat the mint. As long as I didn’t get a whif of jello-meat while going after the mint.

• 10. craftyashley  |  December 16th, 2010 at 1:59 pm

  I craved Lunchables during one of my pregnancies. I was neither a teenager nor a big fan of Lunchables. But I didn’t eat them because you aren’t supposed to eat lunchmeat when pregnant. It has to be toasted (hello, Subway!) to get rid of any harmful bacteria.

  And seriously. I have heard of these teenagers that want to get pregnant to have something love them, keep a boyfriend, so they can prove their an “adult” etc. Messed up. I feel bad for the babies, they didn’t choose that situation, but get a stark crazy teenager for a Mother. Sad.

  And yes, I have seen the baby Lunchables. To their credit, the meat is less slimey. I used them to placate the kids for a while. But really, deli meat and cheese is just as easy and probably better for them.

• 11. jonniker  |  December 16th, 2010 at 2:03 pm

  Ashley: The lunch meat thing is an OB-by-OB thing. Some allow you to, some don’t. The deal is listeria, which you can get, sadly, from a buttload of things, not just lunch meat. It can grow on anything that’s cold-packed, but you don’t see people fleeing from pickles, macaroni salad or chopped liver from the deli, you know?

  Weirdly, this is one of those things that is kind of arbitrary, and it makes me CRAZY. When I was pregnant with Sam, there was a listeria outbreak in packaged potato salad. I was never warned about not eating POTATO SALAD, for frak’s sake.

• 12. mar  |  December 16th, 2010 at 2:11 pm

  I can see how Lunchables & aspic would be entirely unappetizing while pregnant. They aren’t particularly tasty-looking for the non-pregnant as far as I can see.
  But we had an aspic addition to Thanksgiving dinner this year. A Polish PhD student who was a guest at my bf’s parents’ brought a plate of asparagus wrapped in ham slices encased in aspic. 50% of the dinner guests had no clue what it was and I had a difficult time not giggling when it was passed to me.

• 13. Cathy  |  December 16th, 2010 at 2:31 pm

  Question: do you know Shirley Jackson’s “I Hate to Cook” books? If not, ooh, do you have a treat in store for you. Shirley Jackson is a black comic genius, and her cookbooks combine the lurid awfulness of 50s/60s home cooking with a fabulously grim wit about how awful it all is. My very favorite instruction in one of her recipes involves setting a pot of stewed canned something-or-other over a medium flame, lighting up a cigarette, and staring sullenly at the kitchen sink for five minutes. That’s a little masterpiece of gothic domesticity right there.

• 14. Home Sweet Sarah  |  December 16th, 2010 at 3:12 pm

  Oh, the Lunchable debate! Good times.

  Lunchables kind of gross me out, too. Not to mention, YES, how hard is putting meat, cheese, and crackers into baggies?

  I also thought of you this morning when I was handling RAW MEAT. YUMMY!

• 15. SwingCheese  |  December 16th, 2010 at 4:17 pm

  I have a friend who got pregnant during her junior year of high school. JUNIOR YEAR. She wasn’t trying to, she was careless. Her sister just had a baby and her son (who is now 14) mentioned how much he loved taking care of his cousin and how he couldn’t wait to have kids. She (understandably) FLIPPED and it led to a good discussion about how, although she loves her children, it was a hard road and she wants her children to have a much different life with more options than she had. I can’t imagine how much it would break her heart of one of her kids was (or helped in the creation of) a teen mom. And once I had a newborn (and was in what I fondly called “newborn hell”), I really, really, really couldn’t imagine doing it in high school. Or college. Or grad school. Or single. It’s is hard, raising a child.

  And the Andes mint was always the best part of the lunchable.

• 16. Megan  |  December 17th, 2010 at 12:02 am

  Ew. Jellied meat?? Aspic? Lunchables? Damn, I’m not the least bit pregnant, (wtf, 16 year olds?? REALLY??) and that makes me want to hurl. And I like what I think are some gross nasty “foods” (taco bell, “cheese” spread, Hot Fries, ramen). And still. Ew. (For the record, I always wanted Lunchables when I was in middle school. But they gross me out now.)

• 17. Cathy  |  December 17th, 2010 at 12:04 pm

  Sorry, back to say that it isn’t Shirley Jackson — though “Life Among the Savages” is also awesome — it’s Peg Bracken. Seriously, if you dig old cookbooks, she’s so worth reading.

• 18. Elsha  |  December 17th, 2010 at 3:56 pm

  About the watering the tree– haven’t you seen the myth busters where they try to set the tree on fire by getting it to hot? Doesn’t happen. Now, if your lights short out and spark you’re in serious trouble.

• 19. Life of a Doctor's Wife  |  December 18th, 2010 at 11:27 am

  I can’t get behind lunchables in any form. Ever. And I agree with you that it’s a little… sad and creepy that these teens are trying to get pregnant.

  Also, are homes across America combusting every few seconds or something? Because I’m suddenly struck with the Christmas Flame Terror as well. Worrying that our wreath – nowhere near anything remotely hot or flammable – will suddenly burst into flames at any moment.

• 20. Amy  |  December 18th, 2010 at 5:34 pm

  You said Teenage Pickle.

• 21. Cheken  |  December 19th, 2010 at 1:21 am

  True story: You can pay an obscene amount of money at a culinary school to learn how to make jellied meat of various forms and how to cover pate and other offal pastes in it. I still have nightmares.

  Hand to God, I was convinced I was pregnant that whole six weeks for the nausea.

• 22. Erin  |  December 20th, 2010 at 4:15 pm

  I am a tree waterer myself. Drives Scott batshit.

• 23. Sarah  |  December 21st, 2010 at 1:07 am

  That Nick Jr crap is nuts. Just the other day, while driving to, well, somewhere, my 4 year old said “Mommy, dead trees are a fire hazard”…. Um, WTF? I was puzzled as to where the hell she had heard that (Because, I can’t lie, we don’t talk about fire hazards very often. Or ever.), and then I remembered Nick Jr’s perfect Mom. With her fire hazard lists and such. Ugh. Whatever.

  Still, it cracks me up to think about her saying that… Those darn kids.

• 24. shannon  |  December 26th, 2010 at 2:29 pm

  I’m reading this after my pregnant self just handled some turkey breast from Whole Foods as if it were plutonium. I still eat it but I cook it in the oven first. Listeria freaks me out. Even when I’m not pregnant I heat it. Okay, now I just sound crazy.

  Ugh, kindergarten readiness. Isn’t that what preschool is for? I overheard one of the moms at preschool pick up the other day saying how her daughter is already starting to read. I sort of broke into a sweat since my daughter can only trace her name.

  I can’t imagine wanting to do this as a teen. It’s stressful enough as a “fully functioning” adult.

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