Holiday
January 3rd, 2011
If I’d thought about it for more than five minutes or so, I’d have realized that instead of being wholly magical, holidays kind of suck and blow for little kids. Oh, they have their moments of wonder and delight that keep us from selling them on Craigslist, but other than that, it’s like someone took their routine and all the things they’ve come to rely on to keep the fragile threads of tiny drunken sanity together and snapped them like a bunch of broken guitar strings.
There is strange shit! In their house! Like this … Mom, is that a TREE? With crap on it that looks pretty but I can’t even TOUCH? And what do you mean, my nap is being delayed? What are these gifts? Why are these people in my house? What do you mean, I have a BUNCH OF STUFF wrapped in paper that I have to rip open and then — wait, what? You want me to open another one? But I want to play with THAT one!
By New Year’s, we were all done. D-O-N-E, and thank God the holidays only come once a year, because while I loved it — seriously, there really was so much to love — by the Tuesday after Christmas, Sam was screaming before she went to bed every night in an overstimulated, overtired mess of toddler misery. She’s a sensitive one, that kid, and oh, did I mention the Tuesday after Christmas?
HA HA THE TUESDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. Otherwise known as the Day of Pure Hell, the day we I attempted to take my delightful, sensitive, easily overstimulated and/or overwhelmed not-yet-two-year-old daughter to Disney on Ice.
Yes, I will let that sink in for a moment so you can marvel at my stupidity. YES. YES, I DID THAT. It seemed like a bright idea at the time. Who cares if the kid isn’t into Disney AT ALL, and won’t recognize a single character? WHAT WAS I THINKING, PEOPLE. Oh, the guilt. The GUILT. The thing is, a good friend of ours gets tickets for this stuff all the time, gratis, thanks to her husband’s job, so a bunch of us went together. Together, as in I did not drive myself.
(HAHAHAHA. OH MY GOD.)
Sam hated it. She took one step into North Station/Boston Garden and went from being excited about seeing her friends to FLIP YOUR SHIT, and without giving you a blow-by-blow of the entire scene, it involved me holding her the entire time, walking around in circles for about an hour and a half straight. But NOT BEFORE we got locked into a stairwell, thanks to the changing of escalators and doors for people exiting vs entering and I DO NOT KNOW EITHER, all I know is that there was a horrid moment of WOOP WOOP PANIC as I sat there, stuck, for MANY MINUTES until a security guard finally heard me knocking. Worse, my poor friends had no idea I was stuck in such misery, as I LEFT MY PHONE AT MY SEAT, and had no way of telling anyone that, a) things were not going well, OH NOT AT ALL; or b) I AM STUCK IN A STAIRCASE. CALL SOMEONE.
It was hard. It was hard for a lot of reasons, mostly because I felt like a GIANT IDIOT for even attempting such a thing in the first place, because hello, I should have known better, and I am a terrible, horribly clueless mother. But secondly, because honestly, her little friends, most of whom are EXACTLY her age were having this absurdly magical experience. Meanwhile, my kid was behaving as though I was chopping off her toes and feeding them to Princess Ariel while Ursula cheered from the sidelines.
(The flip side of this: there are a JILLION new experiences that Sam loves that so many of her friends can’t tolerate. Animals! BIG ANIMALS! Someone get Sam on a horse, because she SCREAMS with excitement when they come near her. Water play! New, loud parks! Water parks! Sprinklers! AND YET I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.)
Sigh. Lesson learned. Surprise! A not-quite two-year-old is not ready for live shows in large arenas. THIS IS SHOCKING, I KNOW.
Wednesday, we spent a quiet day at home, just the two of us. We watched Elmo, colored, and played with her new toys all day long. She was so happy, you guys. So happy! My poor, sweet, overtired little girl just needed a day with her mama. AND I BROUGHT HER TO DISNEY ON ICE.
And with that, I bid you adieu for tonight. I hope you all had fabulous holidays and happy, happy new year to you! Looking forward to talking with you all more in 2011.
*Vampire Weekend. Man, did Honda ruin that song for anyone else? OH WE GET IT. WE WILL ALL GET HONDAS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. NOW STOP. THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,General jackassery
44 Comments Add your own
1. Kristin | January 3rd, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I can see how it would seem like an appealing idea. And honestly, sometimes the holidays are more than _I_ can take as well, what with all the in-laws and cleaning and baking and cooking and NOISE and shopping and wrapping. Oh, and did I mention the in-laws. I hold out for the moments of wonder an delight too.
2. regan | January 3rd, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Tru so did not get why I wanted him to rip the paper off the gifts. It was a look of total confusion because normally ripping means trouble. He ended up opening zero gifts. Next year, gift bags galore!
3. Ginger | January 4th, 2011 at 12:36 am
Don’t feel bad, I probably would have gone to that Disney thing too–what’s not to like? Disney? Friends? A break from all the holiday themed activities? Lesson learned (by proxy).
For us, Jackson was so overwhelmed by Christmas that at one point he got up and went over to another corner, turned his back on us and “read” one of his OLD books for about 10 minutes.
I guess they’re just not quite old enough to get into the magic part.
4. Meghan | January 4th, 2011 at 9:18 am
You know, when I was younger I was always disappointed when some of my younger cousins didn’t come to Christmas parties my aunt would throw, but holy cow, now I get it. It’s just too much. Too many new people, too much noise, too much food, not enough sleep.
I’m kind of loathe to go anywhere for Christmas now until I have kids who don’t need naps anymore.
5. Meghan | January 4th, 2011 at 9:18 am
You know, when I was younger I was always disappointed when some of my younger cousins didn’t come to Christmas parties my aunt would throw, but holy cow, now I get it. It’s just too much. Too many new people, too much noise, too much food, not enough sleep.
I’m kind of loathe to go anywhere for Christmas now until I have kids who don’t need naps anymore.
6. cindy w | January 4th, 2011 at 9:52 am
I’ve done the exact same thing with my daughter of thinking, “Oh, she’ll love this, it’ll be great!” And I’ve then had it backfire horribly in my face. But the crazy thing about kids this age? They change so quickly, and overcome their fears so suddenly, that I’ll bet if you tried Disney on Ice next year, she’d probably love it. (Or maybe the year after next. After all, they do things at their own rates because each one is a special little snowflake, yadda yadda.)
Point is: you’re not a terrible mother. You just took a chance on something and it didn’t work out. Next time will likely be totally different.
7. julie | January 4th, 2011 at 10:29 am
I’m so guilty of this. All the things we SHOULD be doing. Especially on vacation. This year was the first time I realized they don’t give a crap what we do together, as long as we’re TOGETHER.
This year in Florida we spent 2 weeks hanging out, relaxing and playing together, instead of me running myself ragged trying to create the most brilliant, fun-packed vacation EVER. And it worked. All around.
Next year, Jonna. And just when you think you’ve got it right, she’ll change.
8. DCZia | January 4th, 2011 at 11:19 am
Oh, my sympathies. We’re recovering from the holidays too – where mama & papa were around all the time, plus grandma. Now we’ve all gone back to work, and while the girl was happy to see her babysitter again after 2 weeks off, there is still SO MUCH TRAUMATIC HOWLING when we leave for work. There has been bad sleeping, too FTW! Also? Tried to take the kid on tour of the Capitol with my mom. It seemed like a good idea. Until we had to throw out all food & drink at security (hubby bailed and took our $45 worth of Nalgene bottles and organic snacks home), she wouldn’t let them take her coat away at the x-ray (they did let her hold it); we had to bail 10 min. into the tour because toddlers running full tilt and screaming around the Capitol Rotunda are um, not really appropriate. Then she bashed her head on a marble step in the museum area, so we had a HEAD WOUND to top off our morning. Good times.
9. Christine | January 4th, 2011 at 11:35 am
Ugh, my sympathies on getting locked in a staircase with a toddler full of woe. Little kids are weird, man. You’re not a bad mamma at all.
10. Jen | January 4th, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Chase hardly opened any of his presents by himself. The first round of presents was just too early in the morning and the second round was at afternoon nap time and he actually fell asleep in the middle of it.
Oh and did I mention that all the adults were sick for Christmas and Christmas Eve? How I love the holidays.
Bah Humbug
11. Heather | January 4th, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Oh, so sorry, Jonna. We learned this the hard way when we took Brady (20 months) at the time to a Rocknocercous concert. He FLIPPED the eff out. We ended up leaving. Mind you there were no less than 100 other toddlers up in the mosh pit jumping around enjoying themselves. Of course this summer we were certain Brady had outgrown his fear of loud, crowded venues so we took him to Yo Gabba Gabba Live. He was less than thrilled once again. Of course Matthew enjoyed the heck out of it and he was only 14 months. Kids and their quirky personalities.
But parenting is such trial and error. You did your best so don’t feel guilty! How on earth were you suppose to know Sam would not enjoy herself. Not your fault at all.
And yes, the holidays SUCKETH for the littles. My tree came down on the 26th. My kids are still reeling from the stimulation. My 3 year old and I were arguing like he was a teenager (totally mature on my part!). I mean, if he hadn’t gone back to preschool yesterday I may have shipped him off to teen boot camp.
12. Jen | January 4th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I was seriously considering bringing Avery to the Sesame Street Live show in February, and now I’m thinking I should be seriously reconsidering. Thinking it’s one of those things that I think she will love, but it could definitely backfire. Hmm.
Over here, we’re still mourning the loss of the Christmas tree. Every time we get back to the house, Avery wants to turn on the “Chripmas lights??” I’m feeling terrible when I have to keep reminding her that we put it away until next year.
I’m in agreement with everyone else here though – so not your fault at all. It’s hard to read what will be a great idea and what will totally bomb with a 21/21 month old.
13. Suzanne | January 4th, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Every other toddler we know has recently gone to Yo Gabba Gabba’s live show and while my kid is entertained by the tv version (for about 15 minutes) I would be a CRAZY PERSON to try to take him to an arena for the live version. Crazy crazy crazy pants. He couldn’t even make it through the free 30 minute sea lion show at the aquarium without a screaming fit. But of course I did try that one. TWICE.
14. moosh in indy | January 4th, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Addie’s birthday is December 14th. I should have learned to just quit and pretend the rest of the month doesn’t exist because neither of us wanted to SEE or BREATHE or HEAR each other after THAT day was over (and she’s 6.)
We’ve called her Gramma Addie for over two years now. Sounds like you have a Gramma Sam. They’re lovely little beings as long as you take proper care of them and their finicky behaviors.
15. Deb | January 4th, 2011 at 8:50 pm
You are not a horribly clueless mother. The only reason the rest of us know anything is because we suffered through this stuff in our own lives. Both my kids could not handle more than one event a week (and by event, I mean saw another human or left the house) without turning into an over-stimulated horror show.
I would be embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to clue in on it. Seriously. Embarrassed.
16. Carla Hinkle | January 4th, 2011 at 10:37 pm
You’re not at all terrible! Kids are so quirky, you can’t know when something might freak one out. Though *I* would have freaked locked in the stairwell, that’s for sure.
That kind of show might be too much for her for quite a while. Or not! When I took my girls at 5.5 and 2.5 to Disney Princesses on Ice, it was MAGICAL to the 2.5. So maybe next year! Or never! Ah, the trick of kids. Anyway, you’re obvs not a bad mom. Obvs.
17. Megan | January 4th, 2011 at 11:26 pm
I was so sad for you guys that day. I still can’t believe it was only a week ago. I felt a little less sad when my damn windshield wipers decided to not work on the way home, hello Dangerous Driver, carting our kids around.
And I TOTALLY forgot about Lila’s shitfit at the petting zoo–see? She doesn’t like everything! She totally lost her mind that day, while Sam trotted from one animal to the next, loving every second.
Bottom line–you are SO not a bad mom, by any means. You tried it, it didn’t work. This time. You’ll try again. We all will. Things will rock, things will suck. There will always be booze.
And today was happy enough for me to last a while. LOVED today.
18. Tara | January 5th, 2011 at 8:19 am
I am not exactly what you might call *current* in my musical tastes, unless this is actually 1995, then I’m all over it. So, all I knew about that song was that my 15-month old danced like a crazed person every single time that commercial came on tv (which, you know, happens once or twice…an hour…) (and no, my kid doesn’t watch as much tv as I seem to be implying there, but she loved the Christmas cartoons! I swear!). Then, on NYE, we were in the car with a bunch of friends, and the song came on the radio, and I was all ‘B loves the Honda song! I had no idea it was a real song!’. And everyone looked at me like I was an idiot. Which I kind of am.
Also, I would have lost my mind 1.5 seconds into the staircase entrapment, so it seems to me that you did just fine.
19. Lucy | January 5th, 2011 at 9:46 am
I’m pretty my daughter would do the exact same thing. Have you ever heard of the book called ‘raising a spirit child’? http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Rev/dp/0060739665/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294238480&sr=8-1
I don’t know if Sam is spirited or not, but she might be. I’m not trying to be crazy or mean or anything. I just know when someone finally told me about this book I was like ‘finally, there are kids like mine.’ Hope the rest of your holidays were relaxing (ha! as if holidays with kids are relaxing).
20. Deanna | January 5th, 2011 at 11:03 am
I get this. I SO get it. My friends are all taking their 18-month olds to Yo Gabba Gabba Live and Curious George and Imagination Movers. Me? Well, for one thing, I have twins, so NO, I will not be braving that crowd with my can’t-make-it-through-a-meal-in-the-highchair-children. Secondly though, I know that they would not care AT ALL what was going on on the stage after about ten minutes. They just don’t have an attention span for any of that (or anything much, really) yet.
Maybe one day…but I’ll probably still be disappointed because I’m sure it will be less than magical.
21. jonniker | January 5th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Oh sweet Lucy, you don’t sound crazy or mean at all. That book has been recommended to me before (by Julie, above, in fact) and I think this might be the push to get it.
22. julie | January 6th, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Oh, Jonna, the wonderful effects of that book have long since worn off. Around the time I realized, “So what? None of them are helping me raise this kid!”
Seriously. It is a good read, I just find that as they get older, they’re not as easy to pigeonhole. Which I guess is a good thing.
Right?
23. agirlandaboy | January 6th, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Oh, Jonna, you’re doing the best you can, just like the rest of us, you know? You really COULDN’T have known how she would react because, well…because it was a new experience. Better to try and learn from the mistake than to assume she wouldn’t be able to handle it and stay home, perhaps missing out on the magical ecstacy you’d hoped for. Trial and error, dude. Trial and error (and sometimes success!).
24. Theresa | January 7th, 2011 at 4:11 pm
De-lurking to say how much this spoke to me. We just got back from Christmas with the in-laws in New York. We were supposed to fly home to California on Dec. 26th, but because of the blizzard from hell, got stuck until January 4th. January. 4th. With a 5 year old and a 2 year old who are used to being outside all the time (not in an apartment) and had their routines completely torn to shreds. Plus a time zone difference.
Let me tell you, this has been the week of post-Christmas melt downs, with tantrums, and crying (oh, the crying!), culminating in the 2 year old crying all night long last night. That’s right, he never slept, so neither did we.
So I totally hear you on how disruptive the holidays are for the little ones.
And my 5 year old? Who loves the movie Mary Poppins? Totally bored by the great stage version we saw in NY and would have preferred to stay home and watch DVDs. Can’t win.
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