Kiss with a Fist
March 8th, 2011
So far, having a two-year-old is AWESOME! And if you say that really loudly, with your hands in the air, then you’ve just learned the hot word of the day from said two-year-old. Everything is awesome! Sam, do you like your green beans? AWESOME!
Don’t tell anyone, but I’m, uh, pretty sure she learned this on the Yo Gabba Gabba Super Music Friends Show. Listening and dancing to music IS awesome!
Speaking of Yo Gabba Gabba, we turned it on at playgroup today at the very end, right around the time when all the kids seem to just sort of start coming apart from all the excitement of playing for several hours, and they need a moment to regroup before heading home. Judge away! You will probably judge even more when I tell you that I cannot stop laughing that when the “Boat” episode was rudely interrupted by an emergency broadcast message, all four kids started YELLING like they were just taken out of a trance. Molly yelled, “GABBA! GABBA!” while Lila sadly tried to dance to the ear-splitting tone with her head to her chin, whimpering. Gracie held her head in her hands, shaking it back and forth in abject sadness, and Sam started actually crying.
You know that True Blood scene from season two when the town is at the woodland orgy, and Andy Bellefleur shoots his gun off, leaving all the black-eyed people to go wailing into the woods, lost and disoriented? It was exactly like that, and I’m not even exaggerating a little. I was simultaneously horrified and amused at the power of DJ Lance. I had the same mix of emotions that our first reaction — all of four of the moms — was NOT to be horrified, but to figure out how to get it back on as soon as possible to stop the madness.
My kid makes me strangely sad sometimes, not for any obvious reason, but because she does things that are so naive and endearing that I am, and I can’t put this any other way, embarrassed for her. I mean, I’m not REALLY, but that’s the closest emotion I can put to it. I am weirdly sad for her, because … ah, well, for example, when we pull up to her friends’ houses, and we get out of the car, she starts yelling, “HIII! HIII!” excitedly before anyone can hear her. “HI LILA! HIII! GRACIE! GRACIE!” And I just … oh, baby, no one can hear you, honey. We’re outside and they don’t even know we’re here.
I feel the same twinge when she sees a familiar character on TV and comes racing in to tell me about it, “MAMA! It’s ELMO!” as if I didn’t PUT HIM THERE or (oh my God) she approaches the television when she sees a cat and tries to HUG THE TELEVISION. And — AND! — when she sees said familiar character, sometimes she’ll walk right up to the television and yell, “HII! Hi GoGo! HIII!” (GoGo is Diego, of course.) All because Diego said hi at the beginning in what was meant to be a rhetorical fashion, you know?
Ah, kids. Confusing little monsters that find a way to yank on your heartstrings even when they do something senseless and kind of embarrassing.
Finally, and I don’t think I’m alone here, I have a long list of things I keep MEANING to do, but am starting to doubt if I ever will do. Things like decorating my house like people other than college students live here (seriously, that’s what four years of renting will do to a person), organizing my underwear drawer and finally, oh my lands, finally, getting rid of all the clothes I don’t wear. There is no reason to have two closets stuffed to the gills full of clothes that are never actually placed on a human being’s ass.
You know what else I want to do? Organize our bookshelves by color. Meal plan a month in advance. Start couponing. I DO NOT USE COUPONS. I have no idea where to even START.
Am I ever going to do these things? Am I doomed to have a dresser stuffed full of too-small T-shirts from Target that have holes in the armpits? Will I ever pay less than full price for Ziploc bags?
Seriously. I need to just do ONE of these things, and I think I’d feel better. Instead I’m so tired from all the usual activities of child-rearing, housekeeping, writing/working that by the time I have any extra time, I’m either reading or zoned out in front of Big Love, wondering why I even care anymore, when all I have ever wanted to do is punch Bill Henrickson directly in the junk. Oh, and you, too, Nicolette. And Barb! GET SOME BALLS. RUN FOR THE HILLS.
I hope y’all have a great Wednesday.
Florence + The Machine. Oh, I love her voice and yet, at the same time think she looks to be about forty, when my understanding is that she’s, ah, TWENTY FOUR.
Entry Filed under: All Riled Up,Beeber McSteebs,I Love Television,True Blood
20 Comments Add your own
1. Jamie | March 8th, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Duuuuuude. Florence Welch is 24?!?! Wow. Just, wow. Suddenly I am a little less worried about running out of eye cream.
2. mar | March 8th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Seriously 24? Now I don’t feel so bad off at 32. Love the songs though!
Also I regularly embarrass myself or feel that way for others. Such has been my life; the ability to turn fuschia at the drop of a hat.
Now if only I could get some stuff on my list done, too! Started teaching myself to do amigurumi last night so there’s something.
3. kathleen | March 8th, 2011 at 11:08 pm
oh man, the first half of this post is so fucking funny and the second half is so fucking true. this is why you are my favorite blogger.
4. Christen | March 8th, 2011 at 11:15 pm
She’s 24? I figured she was my age (33). Damn.
OK, my assvice/totally obvious tip for conquering the to-do list: start with one project. Like, clean out the closet(s). THEN move on to another (maybe the coupon one since that might help as you start buying in bulk for monthly meal plans). You’ll get a sense of accomplishment and momentum. Plus, it feels reeaaalllyyy good to purge stuff and the tax write off for donations is a nice bonus. Check out the Never Pay Retail Again blog for coupon help.
5. Christine | March 9th, 2011 at 7:39 am
Seriously, Florence is 24? Wha? I thought for sure she was at least mid thirties, but if most likely older.
Your description of the toddlers as brainwashed little souls made me laugh, thank you for that!
6. Chris | March 9th, 2011 at 8:18 am
Check out grocerygame.com for couponing advice and help getting the lowest prices on groceries in your area. The 1 month trial is free and you don’t even have to clip coupons if you don’t want to. Get the paper, take out the coupon inserts, mark them with the date and then pull them out and clip coupons when your grocery game list tells you to. Easy Peasy!
7. Yaz | March 9th, 2011 at 8:32 am
Can you sort clothes WHILE you watch tv? That’s what I do. It’s totally makes it multi-tasking instead of just being lazy!
8. Jean S Scott | March 9th, 2011 at 8:38 am
My grandson was an animated movie addict. I must have watched Robots 100 times with him. He could recite every line when he was four. At 8, he asks.. “Grandma, do you remember sitting on the couch and watching Robots with me?” “Of course P, why do you ask?” “No reason, just remembering”
Don’t feel guilty about it.
9. Kate | March 9th, 2011 at 9:03 am
When I was a little older than Sam, my parents took me to see a movie at the Smithsonian Museum of American History. It was “The Three Little Pigs.” At one point, I stood up in my chair and screamed, “Hey pigs!! Watch out for the wolf!!” This may or may not be reassuring, given how I’ve turned out.
I would be happy to come and sort your old clothes. I’m not kidding. Not even a little.
10. Slim | March 9th, 2011 at 9:25 am
I used to try to use coupons and I had a drawer full of expired ones and I do not need more clutter. So I buy things when they’re on sale and decide that’s enough thrift for me. I also freecycle and donate what I can, but my overall principle is that buying items not on sale or getting rid of them via freecycle or Goodwill rather than Craigslist or eBay is just the price I pay for having less clutter, and it costs less than hiring a professional organizer. Plus I bet the organizer would make me throw stuff out or donate it anyway.
11. Josefina | March 9th, 2011 at 9:36 am
I loved your description of the little girls when their show was interrupted. I had to just sit here and laugh.
Also, I completely relate about the decorating, purging, etc. I have an attic and a basement full of stuff and I’m not sure how it got there. I don’t need to sort or organize, just take it to the curb, and it seems insurmountable because of all the other day to day activities.
12. Diane | March 9th, 2011 at 10:00 am
I’m still baffled by the age 24 thing. The internet MUST have that one wrong. Whenever I see her on TV now, I really really TRY and squint my eyes and figure this time — THIS TIME — will be the time I can see her as 20-anything. It never works. (Except for her body. Did you see her in the mini-dress on SNL last year? Hot damn. That was what made me look up her age in the first place, because the body and face did not match.)
Still, she’s gorgeous, and I love her music. I’m just … CONFUSED.
13. Robin | March 9th, 2011 at 10:15 am
Okay, coupons. What I do: I clip coupons for anything that we already buy, and ignore all the rest of the coupons. Do not buy things you don’t use because you have an awesome coupon. I keep everything in a mailing envelope helpfully labeled “coupons.” I use the circulars that come in the mail or newspaper, but I make no particular effort beyond that to acquire coupons. We grocery shop weekly, so when I sit down to briefly meal plan and make a shopping list, I also flip through my coupon envelope and pull anything I’m shopping for that week, or any extra awesome coupons that are expiring (say, two for one on our usual dishwasher tabs, even if we won’t need dishwasher tabs for another week). I usually put a little star next to any item on my list that has a coupon so I don’t forget to use it.
Now that I’ve been doing that for a couple of months, I’m better about flipping through the circulars and combining coupons and sales with meal planning. It’s a slow process, though, and I think it kind of develops organically, and you have to just start with clipping the coupons you know you can use. It’s all about getting a system that works for you, and once it’s working a little, you can see how to make it work a little better.
Man, that was boring. Sorry. Coupons.
14. SwingCheese | March 9th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Um, am I the only one who thinks that Florence looks like she’s in drag? My husband and I watched her on SNL and discussed this, to the point where we went online to determine her, uh, gender, and then found that that SHE’S ONLY 24, WTF!!! And, well, I now want to hand her some sunscreen.
15. kirida | March 9th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
I don’t use coupons at all. I am way too lazy for that. I just go to the discount grocery store and get a week’s groceries for my four-person family and only $30 bucks lighter in my wallet.
And I’ve never heard anyone relate Yo Gabba Gabba induced madness to the woodland orgy scene. That was pretty awesome.
16. sarah | March 9th, 2011 at 9:29 pm
Drew and I read this book entitled, simply, “Boats.” Near the end, a cruise ship is leaving the dock and the page reads “Here are the people waving good-bye.” And Drew waves! Waves goodbye! And I feel amused, and proud, and a little sad and yeah, a little embarrassed! Because doesn’t he know they’re not really going away? Doesn’t he know they’re not real?! But damn, it’s so cute I nearly cry every time. When I’m not stifling laughter.
17. EarnestGirl | March 11th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Big Love is making me tired too. Liked the original small-scale (well, ok, if 3 wives is small-scale) family kind of complicated the show was about. now it is all a big soap opera and Bill does indeed need a come-uppance and Barb is alternately making me want to cheer & shake her till she sees sense.
Anyway, skipped over here to say hello after Twitter marriage discussion. Suspect that for another while anyway, you will have to pay full price for Ziplocks. The trick (which I am still trying to get right, so please don’t believe this is any kind of *wisdom*. just coffee table chat), the trick is to choose one of those things and then make peace with the rest. The early years with littles can feel a lot like you are camping in your own life, but also? They are AWESOME. There will always be underwear to fold.
18. Katy | March 11th, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Charlie will watch a little Go Gabba Gabba, but his true love is Signing Time and yes, we will move mountains to make it accessible him.
I’m starting to wonder about my own to-do list. I think that, really, it more like I’m realizing that when you become a “grown up,” you don’t instantly have gobs of money and time. Also? I had no idea how time consuming children were.
19. Violet | March 21st, 2011 at 10:18 am
Ok, so I’m 2 weeks behind on my feed reader, so shoot me…
Anyway, my 2 year old does the same thing; doesn’t really understand that people on tv can’t see him, etc. If you have an iphone or android, you HAVE to download Talking Tom. It’s free, and hilarious. It just repeats back what you say, in a different voice. But he LOVES it. And it was the funniest thing I ever saw him do. He thought the cat was talking back to him – first he argued with it “say truck…’say truck’… no, I told YOU to say truck!”. Then he settled down to “do you have a bed?… that’s nice”. He was so happy they were getting along, and had so much in common.
Try it; there is nothing for kids to push or anything.
20. wedding sms | April 21st, 2011 at 12:16 pm
“Kiss with a Fist” is the debut single by indie pop band Florence and the Machine. It is featured on their debut 2009 Mercury Prize-nominated album Lungs
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed