Opposite Day
March 23rd, 2011
First of all, thank you so much for propping my sorry ass up the other day. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it, and I never, never want to take advantage of your kindness by being That Person, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. (Do you?) So thank you. Truly.
I felt better almost the minute I hit publish, and then I felt better and better with each passing comment or email, and I just FELT BETTER. And now I feel a LOT better. For starters, Sam must have known — don’t they always? — that I was about to sell her to the highest bidder, because my God, she napped the next day. It was a battle, and she wasn’t pleased about it, but that kid NAPPED. Come bedtime, she went to sleep. And the next day? She napped. And tonight? She went to bed without a holler. She’s asleep right now in her special snowman pajamas, clutching her kitty and smashed up against her bee blanket.
(Related: man, I do not miss the SIDS-panic days. She can have a blanket! And buddies! I mean, is it any wonder infants don’t sleep? You practically have to lay them down on a stainless steel deli counter and hope for the best.)
They know. I swear to you, kids know when they’ve pushed you to the absolute brink. THEY JUST KNOW. This is the kind of statement I would think was kooky and ridiculous as a non-parent, but the number of times I am pushed until I think I’m going to burst out of my skin, and then she just shifts into a delightfully easy kid convince me otherwise. It is both crazy and crazy-making, but that seems to be par for the course for this thing.
The hits kept on coming, though, as something kind of annoying and a wee bit tragic and unplanned happened with our house in Florida. (Oh yes, we still own a house in Florida, which is why we rent here in Mass, and I am just catching up the newbies up in this piece!). And the thing is … it’s kind of fine. No, it IS fine. It’s annoying, and it’s something I used to stay up late worrying about, and then it just happened and my general feeling is that it’s … fine. I wish I could put my finger on why this particular bad thing (involving my tenants and floors and maybe a house sale and it’s all so ANNOYING) has made me feel BETTER, but it has. Like, a MILLION times better. I think because it’s something I haven’t worried about lately, and also because it’s something I once fretted about to an extreme and yet the reality of it coming to fruition is … well, it’s really just fine. More than fine.
And then there’s my sister — who is the one having surgery, by the way — who I talk to almost every day, and calms me down by calling me out on my shit, and tells me when I’m going all Bloody Beef, and whom my daughter ADORES, to the point where she is the only person Sam might prefer to me. God, that kid loves her Tee, and screams for her every time she sees her photo, “TEE! TEE! TEE!” (Short for auntie, which we pronounce AHN-tie here in Massachusetts.) My biggest fear about her being in the hospital, aside from the obvious, is visiting her with Sam and seeing my daughter bereft that her beloved Tee can’t pick her up and hold her and tickle her. At least not for a little while.
My sister, who still to this day refuses to believe that she’s the reason I live here — the reason this place has always been my home, as I moved here after college because of her, and to be closer to her. Hell, when I was younger, I wanted to BE her. So yeah, I love her, too. And then I read this, by Laurie White, and I think, well, of course I have to be brave and have a second kid, because THAT. That right there is a gift I want to give my daughter, and myself, if I’m being honest. For the record, I am the younger sister — mine is twelve years older than me, so that resonated on a million levels, mostly on Katie’s (Laurie’s sister). I have been mothered when I should have been sistered, but I have never really thought it could be any other way. Now, I appreciate it so much.
(Aside from that, it’s amazing, and you should read it now.)
Fuck yes, I will be brave and do it again.
So yes, I feel better. Much better. Thank you.
*Andrew Bird
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Gettin' thinky with it,The anxious anxiety,The Floridian Nightmare
19 Comments Add your own
1. ABDPBT | March 23rd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
That’s exactly why I decided to get pregnant again, even if it took me almost four years to do it, and how I get through every day lately. That, and the fact that I never have to do this ever again if I can just get through it this time. You can, too.
2. Shauna | March 23rd, 2011 at 11:18 pm
“You practically have to lay them down on a stainless steel deli counter and hope for the best.”
Omg, this made me die out of laughter! So true!
I completely agree about the sibling thing. I have 2 older sisters and if I ever have a girl, I’ll have 100 more kids just until I get that girl because I have to give her the gift of having a sister!
3. Laurie | March 24th, 2011 at 12:03 am
The age difference is really interesting, isn’t it? I always tell people that it could have gone either way, we just as easily could have been checked out of each others’ lives entirely. But that’s not really how it works in my family, so that was probably unlikely too.
My sister is back here for her doctoral program, and I do enjoy living in the same city. It just makes it easier in some ways that are more important than the ways that being away from the family might be.
Glad Sam is doing better. And if anyone can be brave about anything, it’s you.
4. Laurie | March 24th, 2011 at 12:04 am
Oh! And thank you so much. Coming from you these words mean a lot.
5. Amy {Frugan} | March 24th, 2011 at 5:51 am
It’s good that my husband is not home right now because this post catapulted me into SHE NEEDS A SIBLING NOW! mode.
Hooray for the return of naps, and for generally feeling better. Think you can spare Sam for an hour or so? I need her to come talk some sense into my two-year-old, who, when she sensed herself fading into dream land last night, kept herself awake by doing hand stands in her bed.
6. Gaby | March 24th, 2011 at 8:28 am
I know people will try to poo poo the idea that having more than one kid *guarantees* that they’ll be best friends at some point, but I say that if by having more than one kid I can provide the opportunity for a lifelong friend like I have in my sister then by God I WILL try to provide a sibling for my son. Preferably another boy. And then I’d want to have two girls. Because I have this weird idea that brothers and sisters are a sort of bond that is truly unique, and I’d want my kids to have a sibling of the same sex. Irrational, yes, but it’s what I think.
7. Christine | March 24th, 2011 at 10:00 am
So glad to hear you’re feeling better. I wish your sister a complication free and relatively easy surgery and hope she’s back to 100% as soon as possible.
8. TwoBusy | March 24th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Everything Christine just said? I second wholeheartedly.
9. Life As I Know It | March 24th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
New here and fellow MA suburbanite…
I’ve been through it, too – 13 weeks. And you know what? I wish I was brave enough to do it again. I wasn’t; and now I think it’s too late. So from me to you – go forth and procreate. Everything worth doing is a little scary, right?
10. kathleen | March 24th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
so glad you are feeling better.
i have an (18 months) older sister, and when she called to tell me she was pregnant with her second daughter we both happy-cried because, YES. sisters are the very very best.
you are right. the chance for sisters is totally worth being brave for.
11. Page | March 24th, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Bloody Beef cracked me up. Laurie White made me cry. And you? You made me smile. Give your seester some extra huge hugs from all of us, and save a few for yourself and the fabulous Sam. Girl, you’re gonna make it after all.
12. Lawyerish | March 24th, 2011 at 3:43 pm
I hope your sister’s surgery goes well and she is back to full strength ASAP. I love that you live close to each other and talk so often and just get to be a part of one another’s family lives on almost a daily basis. You’re both awesome.
And as you know, having a brother (or brotherS) is great, too, so whatever you have next time, Sam and her new sibling will be lucky to have each other.
13. Veronica | March 26th, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I’m glad you’re feeling better. Hope everything goes well for your sister and that healing time is fast, because no one wants to miss out on hugs and tickles!
I don’t have a sister and wish desperately that I did. I have a baby brother, 5 years younger and I mother him and I love him and I couldn’t imagine life without a sibling. But I want to give my daughter a sister, because I hear sisters are awesome.
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19. Marsha Wesley | May 22nd, 2012 at 4:44 am
I do enjoy living in the same city. It just makes it easier in some ways that are more important than the ways that being away from the family might be.
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