Question of Time
March 30th, 2011
So the other day Sam cut her finger after dropping a coffee mug she wasn’t supposed to have in the first place. Now I, as her mother, should have realized that she had it, because whenever she has something she’s not supposed to have/realizes she no longer wants, she immediately hefts it over to one of us, repeating, “THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” over and over again, as if to prompt a similar response from us. So there she is, rather obviously struggling with something as she croaked out, “THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” and I turned to corner to see what was in her hand and crash! Coffee mug everywhere and clean-up.
What I didn’t notice was that apparently she’d cut her finger, but when I put her in her booster seat, you guys, OH MY LANDS, I could actually smell blood. Smell! Blood! It was like Carrie exploded all over our kitchen from an effing tiny cut, and she wouldn’t keep the Band-Aid on and oh my God, that thing bled for HOURS, and I thought, seriously, that we were going to end up in the ER from a cut the width of a needle, and it would be like Adventures in Babysitting, where that Indian doctor announces in a heavy accent, “One stitch! All better!”
It also made me realize that I may not be equipped for serious injuries, because I fretted over that stupid cut a little more than was healthy. The kid can clonk her head a thousand times on our ceramic tile floors and I don’t bat an eyelash, but blood apparently is enough to send me nearly apoplectic. By the way, our floors? Are HARD. We live in a slab ranch, so it’s basically concrete covered in ceramic, and if you think that carrying a wine glass isn’t harrowing enough, you should try toting them through our house. It feels death-defying, really, because it’s a guaranteed shatter and you can NEVER get up all the little pieces and it’s just a crapshoot whether you’re going to slice your foot open or worse, your TODDLER or DOG is going to slice themselves open and my God, my God, I need more area rugs, MY GOD.
Tomorrow I’m going to visit a preschool for Sam. Yes, PRESCHOOL. My baby is going to PRESCHOOL. It’s a grand total of like, six hours a week, but still. PRESCHOOL. I can’t not write that down in all-caps, because, PRESCHOOL. I am remarkably conflicted as to whether I want to do one or two days a week — the two-day program is five minutes from my house, while the one-day program is in the next town over, and would be a huge PITA to get to in morning traffic (hello, Route 9, I do not want to SEE YOUR FACE).
The cost difference, shockingly, is significant — more than double — although not out of the realm of affordability and IF YOU GUYS ONLY KNEW the agony this stupid decision is causing me. IS CRAZY. It’s like I am acting like whether I’m deciding to send her to Harvard vs. Yale. HARVARD VS. YALE. Or no — NO! — it’s as if I’m choosing between those two schools, but there is a POSSIBILITY that one of those schools will turn from Harvard or Yale into Podunk Technical College where they teach hair weaves and axel cleaning instead of mathematics and literature.
In other words, I am taking this way too seriously. As for the question of why put her in preschool at all this early, my feelings are that if we DO have another child, having an outlet, even if it’s only for less than six hours a week, would be a GODSEND. Plus, all her buddies are doing it, and she’d be in class with some of them, and God, this is the most boring analysis OF THE YEAR, right here, and it’s not even covering my feelings on the topic, which also include, MY BABY IS OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO PRESCHOOL WHAT THE HELL?
She’ll be three next school year. THREE. THREE. THREE. I mean, holy badongles, time flies.
Happy Thursday!
*Depeche Mode
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs
27 Comments Add your own
1. Veronica | March 31st, 2011 at 4:46 am
And breathe!
My week sort of feels like that, only with less smashed crockery (there was some, it was contained) and about the same amount of blood (seriously kid, leave the scab alone. ALONE I SAID.)
2. Kate | March 31st, 2011 at 8:29 am
I will weigh in in favor of the 2 day a week plan. Why, you might ask? Because it will be easier for Sam to have 2 days with the same location and structure than it will be to only do that once a week. Jacob goes 3 days a week and, hoo boy (to quote you), when he is sick and only goes once a week, he’s a mess. When he goes all 3 days (which actually happens once in a while), he’s so happy to be there. So, I think that repeating the different structure of school vs. home during the week is great for kids. Plus, and not to be minimized, NO ROUTE 9. I hate Route 9 even from another state.
3. danish | March 31st, 2011 at 8:30 am
Why NOT put her in preschool for just 6 hours a week? She will love it, meeting new friends and playing with new toys and learning new stuff, and you will get that little break. (I know you know this.) Its not like 5 days a week for 8 hours a day right off the bat, you’d be easing her into it. You are so lucky to have had all that time home with her–I just put my 3 month old baby in full time daycare 2 wks ago because I had to go back to work.
4. Suniverse | March 31st, 2011 at 8:44 am
I took my daughter to preschool at 18 months [it was a mom & tot class once a week, but still] because we both needed the outlet. By the time she was 3, she was beyond ready to have me leave her there to enjoy her space.
Also, you can transfer from Harvard to Yale if Harvard decides to beef up its nail tech program.
5. Christine | March 31st, 2011 at 9:00 am
But think of the awesome weaves in your future. F’real.
For what it’s worth on the blood thing, my mother could not look at blood at all and my sister was accident prone. When my sister was about 8ish, she ended up slamming her finger hard in a drawer that was difficult to close. She probably should have had stitches, instead 10 year old me held it closed while my mother ran for a neighbor to bandage it. When she was 12 while eating cookies, Diana somehow got her tongue hooked on one of her braces in the back of her mouth. My mother ran across the street to get our neighbor the proctologist (Dr. Sam!) to unlodge her tongue (Dr. Sam ran to us in his towel as he had been in the shower). The fact that my sister had a proctologist’s hand in her mouth was the source of teasing for a good long time.
So, you’ll be fine! blood squeamishness or no.
6. Kristina | March 31st, 2011 at 9:18 am
Damn having kids is so hard. The blood, the bumps, PRESCHOOL, all of the GROWING UP WAY TOO FAST. It seems like just as soon as you get comfortable with one thing, it all changes again. But if I can weigh in on the preschool thing, I send the going 2x a week. When my son only has preschool 1x a week, it’s kind of hard on him. I think that a week between visits is just long enough for a 2/3 year old not to understand that it’s part of their schedule. Just my two cents!
But please, can we all invent some kind of time-stoppage machine???
7. Meghan | March 31st, 2011 at 9:25 am
You know what also bleeds a lot? A cut on the face. A certain someone over here tripped and fell onto one of those clementine boxes and gashed open her face and OMG the blood, the tears (mostly mine). It happened in December and she still has a tiny scar on her cheek and I feel creeping guilt every time I kiss her sweet cheek.
8. Ris | March 31st, 2011 at 9:38 am
Our floors are so unforgiving (dyed concrete–so cold and HARD) that whenever I start to drop something, I usually just give up and try to get out of the way. It will fall, break into seven million pieces, and we will all be wearing our shoes inside for the rest of our lives. I actually have dedicated “I broke something” flip flops for this purpose.
9. Deb | March 31st, 2011 at 10:33 am
The other day, my daughter was “helping” me in the kitchen and fell off the stool. Her usual level of hysteria ensued, and I gave the usual amount of hugs and sympathy. When she kept on fussing, I might’ve rolled my eyes and said “dude, cowboy up, I’m busy here”
And then 5 minutes later saw the blood pooling under her foot.
Gah. Awesome Mommy moment #6832.
10. Cherie Beyond | March 31st, 2011 at 10:34 am
As someone who is now expert at shipping her kids off with barely even a shrug: the 2-day program is the way to go. The kids who only go to my daughter’s day care/preschool once a week are, frankly, a mess. Once a week is too far apart for them to find it a routine especially since this is, what, a half-day program? Yeah. Twice a week. Trust me.
After two weeks you won’t shrug either.
11. Carmen | March 31st, 2011 at 10:57 am
I hear you on both counts. Kieran slashed open his finger on the furnace air return grate when he was still crawling and it bled everywhere. You cannot convince an 8 month old to keep a bandaid on, you just can’t. That thing bled forever as well and I do remember thinking that an ER trip for this would be ridiculous.
Also? Kieran turns FIVE on Wednesday. Holy badongles, indeed.
12. Carla Hinkle | March 31st, 2011 at 12:07 pm
My kids are experts at cutting themselves where Bandaids cannot go. Lips, eyes, little fingers, you name it. Gah.
Re: preschool: I agree with the above who vote for 2X/week. While I happily ship my kids off to 5-morning a week preschool at age 2.5, so I am rather heartless, I agree that once a week isn’t really enough for little kids to grasp the schedule/routine. They have practically forgotten all about it by the next week and separation/etc is really much harder. Also, minutes from your house vs next town over? NOT EVEN REALLY A DECISION because do you really want to be COMMUTING to preschool???
13. jonniker | March 31st, 2011 at 12:11 pm
You guys are so right. I can’t even TELL you how much I value your input. I sort of considered the routine thing, but not really as strongly as I have now that I’m hearing real-world examples of kids who are a mess.
And yeah, Carla. COMMUTING to preschool on Rte 9, which is a major commuter route — it’s not far, I mean, our towns are smallish and on top of each other, but MY GOD, yes. Plus, if I go to the one up the street, I will be with moms who live near me — including one of my best friends, whose daughter is one of Sam’s.
14. Olivia | March 31st, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Not that you asked, but I vote for the 2 day a week program. Keep the location convenient should get sick and you need to pick her up, and I’ll bet she will love going so 2 days will be something she likes.
My 2 yr old started daycare in Jan and she really likes it. All the kids to play with plus all the activities and toys is like nirvana for her. Our house is BORING compared to daycare.
15. Li | March 31st, 2011 at 2:02 pm
I know you’re convinced, but I second the motion on 2 days a week. E did 3 days a week from the beginning (her pre-school has a toddler program, so she started at about 20 months). We only had about 2 weeks of tearful goodbyes and now she barely acknowledges us when we drop her off. She loves it so much that we signed her up for 5 days a week next year.
Also, re: Harvard vs. Yale — my MIL is all over my ass to switch her to a Montesorri and the fact is, while I am sure that would be great for her, she loves her friends, and we love the teachers and the other families and well, I don’t think keeping her at the JCC is going to hamper her opportunities later in life… so don’t worry too much about sending her to MIT vs. Velvet Jones’ school of VCR repair at this point!
16. Melanie Kerton | March 31st, 2011 at 2:31 pm
My Allie girl turns 3 end of May, I already enrolled her in a 2 morning a week program her brother did for the fall. I think preschool is just SO FREAKING GOOD for kids, I wish I could say that my son would be as much a rock start in kindergarten if he had just hung out with me at home, but I kinda know better… plus I kinda like my kids to get all exposed to all the germies in preschool, so hopefully they aren’t missing “real” school as much later.
17. Ginger | March 31st, 2011 at 2:38 pm
FWIW, we put our 18 month old in daycare one day a week and…wow was it hard for a while. It took him a good month, month and 1/2 to get used to the routine. We would have done two days, but just honestly couldn’t afford it–but if we had the money, 2 days would have been so so so so much better for him getting the gist of what was happening.
There’s also a thought in my head that maybe if he were there 2 days not one he might not get sick EVERY week still, but maybe that’s just grass is greener thinking.
Also, the agony I suffered trying to find the damn daycare for Jackson, I’d swear I was trying to solve the problems in the middle east. This place was too this, that place was too that. Moaning, wailing, rending of garments. Finally, we just chose the place that was closest that we could afford and felt comfortable with, and voila. (Bonus? It’s close enough that if he gets sick there, my husband can walk, yes WALK to pick him up).
So, uh, yeah, that’s my input.
18. Lynnette | March 31st, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I think preschool is awesome, but in my area (LA, CA) and in my playgroup, EVERYONE is putting their kid in at 2. (T-W-O!) My 19-month-old seems so much like a baby still. These friends of mine see it as an important step in the education of their children. I told one mom this morning that I’m going to start looking at the schools in my neighborhood soon, and she looked shocked. “You mean… you haven’t yet?” Not in a judge-y way, just genuinely surprised.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, my daughter is obviously advanced, both in a cognitive and physical sense. If I want to send her to preschool early, it’s because I want her out of the house.
19. Page | March 31st, 2011 at 11:48 pm
PRESCHOOL? Holy WOW. But then I think about it, and I was in 3 days a week when i was 3? 4? I’ll have to ask my Mom. And I loved it. new peeps, new toys, new everything. And I LEARNED. It was great. I still remember it, believe it or not.
20. Amy (Frugan) | April 1st, 2011 at 5:08 am
Agree with everyone about the 2 days, and see from Twitter that you went with that. It will be awesome.
But the worry and nausea is understandable. My babe goes to daycare/preschool (they are the same in Sweden) four days a week so you’d think I’d be used to leaving her. Yeah, no. Every time I go out for an hour or two I obsess to my husband: “Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?”
But seriously, 2 mornings is perfect. You will both enjoy it so much.
21. Alyce | April 1st, 2011 at 10:02 am
Used to work at a Montessori school(both ad teacher and admin staff). So my assvice is based on that.
Kids need structure. In their day in their week. Beyond that depends on the kid.
Choose 2day. Get her there on time everytime so she can do the same morning activity each time she’s at school – circle, story, painting, whatevs. Let her carry her own things (coat, snack, show and tell, whatever). Let her walk herself into school unless ground is treacherous, then hold her hand.
She’ll be fine. If she cries, it’s likely crocodile tears for *your sake. Unless they’re mean doodoo heads which is unlikely. It is NOT separation anxiety of her own.
As always, I know you will choose whatever is best for your family.
22. Nikki | April 1st, 2011 at 10:13 pm
As someone breathing in a paper bag over kindergarten in the fall, I feel you. KINDERGARTEN! She’ll ride a BUS! It cannot be so.
23. Juli | April 2nd, 2011 at 3:30 pm
My formula–which based on nothing other than my own opinion–is one day at preschool for every year of their age. So age 2 = 2 days.
It’s good to think a lot about it. Early education is so important, etc. As you already know. xx
24. Sharon | April 3rd, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I say the 2 day program is better. Once a week, even at a great program, just isn’t consistent enough, IMO, especially if you have any concerns about separation anxiety.
25. mbt shoes | April 13th, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Once a week, even at a great program, just isn’t consistent enough, IMO, especially if you have any concerns about separation anxiety.
26. hollister | March 28th, 2012 at 7:31 am
shi er zhi bing lang quan kan si le
27. abercrombie and fitch | March 28th, 2012 at 7:31 am
ping dao zhi shi xiao ,mei gong fu li ta
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