Ashes and Wine
April 4th, 2011
So that happened, and by that, I mean a large, terrifying chunk of my next-door neighbor’s tree crashing down on both of our cars in the wee hours of Friday morning.
HAAAAAAA. Yes, seriously! Seriously! A tree crushed our cars! There’s really nothing else to say, because my car is as close to totaled as it can get without actually being totaled, although the jury is still out. We woke up at 5:30 to a too-quiet house and an alarm system that wouldn’t stop beeping, which meant we had no power. Sam, she of the 8 a.m. daily risings, was pretty pissed off that not only was she awake at such an ungodly hour, but there was no Yo Gabba Gabba to take the edge off. It wasn’t until we’d been sitting in the dark for a good fifteen minutes when Adam looked outside and saw this:
I know! It doesn’t look that bad … does it? I mean, it certainly doesn’t look like our cars are DEAD or anything. Adam’s is actually fine — for the love of God, he drove it to work a few hours later — mine, however, is smooshed. Paint gone, hood smashed, windshield in smithereens. The tree removal guy rang my doorbell and sheepishly handed me a PIECE OF MY CAR, asking, “So, ahhh, what should I do with this?” Bits of the engine are sticking out all over the place! The tires are falling off! The fender! IS DANGLING OFF.
What started out as a $5K estimate is rising by the minute, and all I can really say is, thank God for car insurance, AMIRITE?
As a result, I have been tooling around town in a Dodge Caliber, and I hate it. I hate it! It’s tiny and handles terribly and GAH, I hate it! WHERE IS MY HONDA? CAN I GET A HONDA, ANY HONDA? Oh, rental car companies and their hard-on for American made cars. (OH I KNOW. I KNOW. I JUST LIKE MY HONDAS.)
I have to be honest in that I find the whole thing sort of hilarious. Despite the inconvenience and the, ah, smashed car, I just … I don’t really care, honestly. It’s just a car. I’ve got a $300 deductible that will probably be picked up by my neighbor’s home owner’s insurance (it was his tree), and I just … well, it’s just a car, you know? It’s a car, and a memory, and after the year we’ve had, I don’t really give a rip what happens to any inanimate object of mine, and so long as my kid, husband and dog are safe and sound, I am happy. Ergo, I can’t help but find the whole thing so goddamned hilarious, I can’t stop snickering about it. My CAR was smashed by a TREE. What are the fucking CHANCES?
(Apparently pretty high, for when I talked to my insurance agent at 8:30 a.m. that day, I was the *fifth* tree-smashed car that day. Heavy snow and high winds = a bad combination.)
ANYWAY, thanks to all of you, at least in part, Sam is registered for two-day preschool. Which means that I will have six glorious hours each week to while away doing glamorous things like steaming the floors and doing laundry ALL BY MYSELF. It’s very exciting and also sick-inducing, as I know you are fully aware, and ultimately, I think it was the right decision.
See what I just did there? Talked about it like it was Harvard again. GEEENYUS.
Besides all this crap, I’ll tell you two things that are killing me right now, mostly with excitement:
1) Vegas. OMFG, I have never been so ready to go on a vacation in my life. I just want to SLEEP and take BATHS and go to the POOL and READ and I know, those are not things one thinks of in Vegas, but I’m telling you, THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING. I am less excited about leaving my little beanpole, who at her well-baby visit today was declared The Tallest Two Year Old In All The Land, clocking in at 38 inches tall and in the 99th percentile for her age. Her weight is a delightfully proportionate 30 pounds. And while I am dying to sleep and read without interruption, I am so sad to miss her, because she is …
2) God, I love Sam right now, tantrums and all. How can you not be excited about this kid? Come on.
She never makes this face unless the camera is out.
You can’t see it, but she’s also wearing a swim bubble. And has also found my stash of Trader Joe’s wine.
Sunny, too, deserves an award, because this happens, like, a JILLION TIMES A DAY and while she loves getting love, let’s be realistic, the hugging is a bit aggressive.
Hey, have a great Tuesday!
*A Fine Frenzy
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Things that suck,What the fuck?
24 Comments Add your own
1. H | April 4th, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Oh, that last picture brings tears to my eyes. Our first dog was 2 years old when our son was born. Our daughter was born 2 1/2 years later, so they both grew up with her and loved her to pieces. I watch videos of her with them and all their aggressive love, and I am so thankful for her patience and tenderness. So cool.
Enjoy Vegas!
2. Catherine | April 4th, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Wow, that is tall! My almost two-and-a-half year old is barely 35″…despite her dad being 6’5″. I guess my short genes are holding her back!
3. Carla Hinkle | April 5th, 2011 at 12:13 am
Holy cow, I know Sam is tall, but I always forget HOW tall. She’s the size of my 4 year old!!! What a cutie.
4. Jennie | April 5th, 2011 at 12:40 am
I am leaving Kyle in May for NINE DAYS and I can’t even talk about it. I need a nap and a cry and a bottle of vodka whenever I even THINK about it.
I know, I just left him for eight days in October without nearly as much vodka/crying, but it feels different now. He’s this person I have conversations with and eat breakfast with while TALKING ABOUT OUR BAGELS TOGETHER and HE’S MY PAL, YOU KNOW?
I need to stop talking about it. The tears, they are starting.
5. Devan | April 5th, 2011 at 7:57 am
VEGAS! Wooooo! I could take a vacation to just about anywhere and my list would still be read, sleep, eat in peace… ha
Sorry about the cars. A large tree fell on our fence yesterday, so trees smashing things must be going around.
6. DCZia | April 5th, 2011 at 8:18 am
We had a Dodge Caliber rental recently. It was the worst car I have ever driven. We called it the “Low Caliber” during the whole trip. In sum: Boo! Crushed car. Yay! VEGAS! Yay! Adorable giant toddler! You’ll have a great time in Vegas – it is a great place to lounge, actually.
7. Megan | April 5th, 2011 at 8:19 am
How fun is it to have a tall kid? Then when they act 2 (tantrum) people look at you all “why is your 4 year old doing that?” good times! (my oldest was tall, although not that tall! My middle is small, small, small so we had the opposite going on….”your 2 year old is a genius!” yeah, well, he is 4 actually.
8. Megan | April 5th, 2011 at 8:20 am
Oops! Throw in a ) up there! Gah !
9. Tara | April 5th, 2011 at 8:50 am
I am so beyond jealous that you’re going to Vegas…I love it out there! I am a little less jealous about the tree on the car situation, but I’m glad it was just your car and not your house. Having the car towed away to be fixed is probably easier than dealing with a hole in the roof.
The Sam and Sunny picture cracks me up…you can just tell that Sunny is willing to deal with the hugs, but she’s less than enthused about it. My big dog can handle anything my 18-month old throws at her, but my little terrier? The minute Brigid starts moving towards her, she’s heading for the hills. B is too twitchy, I think
10. Kristina | April 5th, 2011 at 8:54 am
When I took my daughter to her 9 month check up (she’ll be 1 Saturday, OMG) she was in the 100% for height AND weight. ONE HUNDRED. Meaning there is no 9 month old anywhere, ANYWHERE bigger than her. I was, um…concerned. Dr said well at least she’s proportionate, she’s just the size of a regular 2 year old. Great. Overfeeding my baby, FTW!
11. Kristabella | April 5th, 2011 at 9:20 am
I love your kid! I need to come visit you because I’m pretty sure Sam and I would be best buddies! And then I would have to steal her because she is so awesome!
12. KT | April 5th, 2011 at 9:30 am
Yikes. Sorry to hear about your cars.
Sam is adorable. I love the picture of her and Sunny- he does look a little hesitant about the hug.
13. Ris | April 5th, 2011 at 10:10 am
Renting a car is just an opportunity to remember why I love my foreign-made car so much more than the American crap that’s out there nowdays.
14. Corinne | April 5th, 2011 at 10:31 am
I don’t know – that’s exactly what I do in Vegas and I don’t have kids.
15. Cherie Beyond | April 5th, 2011 at 11:40 am
You know, I have been looking for a living room carpet for two years now and I just realized that I haven’t been able to find one because YOU HAVE IT. I WOULD LIKE MY CARPET, PLEASE.
Oh, yeah, and your kid is cute and who cares about the car and yay Vegas and no kidding, tell me where you got that rug.
16. jonniker | April 5th, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Ack, Cherie, I got it at Target a little more than a year ago.
17. Cherie Beyond | April 5th, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I supposed this is why I should go to Target more than once a year. Dang.
18. Cassidy | April 5th, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Just had to chime in that I also have a giant toddler (was 37″ at 2 year appt and 38″ now at 2.5 years old). She towers over my friends’ 3-4 year olds – ha.
Love the pic with Sunny – nothing cuter than kids and dogs.
19. Christine | April 5th, 2011 at 8:06 pm
That middle picture is just aces. I have entirely too many pictures of myself with similar expressions. Most of these photos were taken in college.
20. Josefina | April 5th, 2011 at 8:31 pm
I loves me Hondas, too. We only have one now, along with a Subaru Forester that I adore but that is a total lemon. It’s in the shop right now, actually. But Hondas are the best. I hope you’re in one again soon.
Pictures of Sam crack me up. She’s so darned cute.
21. Page | April 6th, 2011 at 10:31 am
LOVE Vegas. Is pool time not essential? My boss took me last year, and when I was not being a slave to the conference, it was all pool, al the time.
Damn, that sucks about the cars. Both at once is really bad. And I am still snorting at the “Low Caliber” comment above. Those cars suck.
Sam is quite possibly the cutest thing evar. And Sunny looks thrilled.
22. Lynnette | April 6th, 2011 at 7:47 pm
I love that last picture; sweet, yet malevolent. Those ruby-red lips! The arched eyebrows!
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I love that last picture; sweet, yet malevolent. Those ruby-red lips! The arched eyebrows!
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