The Cave
June 21st, 2011
First of all, I found your comments FASCINATING re: having a childcare provider bring her own kids to the job. It’s funny, I listened to all of them, and thought of the few ways that I’d be cool with it, and none of them presented themselves to me — i.e., the nannies who had babies and then BROUGHT their babies after they had them (and were well established at the family to begin with)? Well, of course, DUH, I’d be fine with that. A kid at or vaguely around Sam’s age, who would be into keeping a similar schedule who wasn’t, say, a total bully asshole? I could be OK with that, too. See also: if I were in their home and not mine, for the reasons I mentioned in the comments.
There’s something about your own kid in your own house that you can just … relax a little. I mean, of course Sam is always supervised, but I know every corner of this house. I know when her silence means she’s concentrating (i.e., in the back playroom, where her fuzzies and crayons are) and when being quiet means DEFCON 1: GUARD THE SUDAFED because she’s in the bathroom, sifting through the drawers. These are sounds, for better or for worse, you’re trained to listen for in your own house. Someone else’s, not so much.
Anyway. It’s moot, sort of, because I found at least one sitter who’s coming tomorrow (today for most of you reading this) and will be paid an ungodly money for the sole purpose of having my tubes ‘n utes shot through with dye and examined under an … I don’t even know what, as I had this before, I SWEAR, but the thing is, I HAVE NO MEMORY. I have very little memory of the whole pre-Sam shenanigans, and I don’t know why. I hope it’s the same if I get to the second baby portion of our show, that this all becomes kind of … faded.
We’ve been still, ahh, sick at our house, and it all started with Sam and her ridiculous beach-bound illnesses, and then there was me, who was misdiagnosed with a sinus infection (non-contagious! HAA!), who then passed it on to Adam, who is lying beside me right now, wheezing into his Wheat Thins. Both of us will very likely be passed out cold by 10 p.m., which happens in this house, mmm, pretty much never. Good thing I’m on antibiotics, though! I am what’s wrong with pharmacology today, man. I told you.
The flip side of all this is that I am dropping weight like a saddle bag of hot potatoes. This is what happens when you can pretty much taste nothing for two weeks. Food becomes remarkably uninteresting if you can’t taste it! Who knew? Truth is, I’ve been fantasizing about cupcakes and peanut butter bars pretty much non-stop — and I’m a savory gal! — for no other reason that they are the only things I can really remember the flavor of. I can’t smell anything either, so changing diapers, too, is a surprisingly pleasant task.
I thought about marketing this as a weight-loss tool — invite everyone to my house! Give them the disease and then VOILA! Watch the pounds fly off! There’s got to be an infomercial I can make out of this, maybe featuring Suzanne Somers. Sinus Camp 2011: It’s Infectious! I think, is our tagline. Unfortunately, I have moved beyond the contagious phase, and thus, everyone would have to get in close quarters with Adam, instead, and that’s … less appealing than you might think, although I imagined I was about as delicious-looking while I, too, was coughing until I vomited.
I think my revenue options may be limited by the gross-out factor, but I’m not ruling this shit out! WEIGHT LOSS IN A CURABLE DISEASE.
In recent days, however, I’ve been able to taste a little more, and by that, I mean I can taste sriracha, which is why my last three meals have consisted of various noodles and/or sandwiches drenched in more sriracha than a normal person could probably handle, and it burns like FIYAH, but at least I’m ALIVE. This must be why people tattoo their bodies to FEEL THE BURN! Walk on fire! LET US LIVE. GIVE US THE SRIRACHA.
(Side note: there is something depressing about losing 10+ pounds and being acutely aware that you still have, um, FORTY, or so to go. Seriously. FORTY. I am usually pretty chill about my weight/body image, and for the most part, I am — I mean, I’m not really all that consumed by it — but something about feeling my clothes FINALLY fit much looser has given me enough of a taste that I’m all LET’S GO, WEIGHT! BRING ON THE SIZE SIX!)
(HAAAA I SAID SIX. What an ass.)
Anyway, I’ve GOT to tell you that I’ve been watching NOTHING on television. NOTHING. Should I be watching Game of Thrones? I mean, on HBO.com, that is, because I know it’s over. The Killing? Falling Skies? True Blood is back this week, thank GOD (well, Sunday), but that’s … all I’ve got. And I miss TV. A lot. (Already seen FNL, so it’s not NEW.)
Happy Wednesday! Or as it’s known around here, Tubes, Utes and Babysitter Day! Oh, God.
*Mumford & Sons. The Cave being my uterus. OH I KILL ME.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Infertile Myrtle,Miscarriage,Teh Second Baby
42 Comments Add your own
1. Suzanne | June 21st, 2011 at 10:16 pm
YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING GAME OF THRONES.
Good luck at the appointment. And I will take your weight loss disease with a delicious side of hot sauce any day.
2. Corinne | June 21st, 2011 at 10:52 pm
I, too, would like this weight loss disease. The last time I coughed until I vomited I lost 30 pounds…that would take care of all that awful running I have to do instead.
3. ahmielyn | June 21st, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Oh my gosh you should TOTALLY be watching Game of Thrones! It’s by far the best new TV series of the past few years. I might go so far as to declare it WINNER OF ALL THE TV AWARDS EVER.
4. Heather | June 21st, 2011 at 11:44 pm
Game of Thrones. YES. And read the book(s)!
5. Jessica | June 21st, 2011 at 11:48 pm
Ok, I know you said a lot of other things, but all I can focus on is Game of Thrones. You can watch it online? I must go check that out. I don’t have HBO yet, but I’d totally pay to watch it online now.
6. Melanie Kerton | June 22nd, 2011 at 12:10 am
I had the stomach flu and threw up everything for 2 days and ate nothing and still managed to GAIN 2lbs… therefore I have decided that somehow I am broken, everyone else loses weight when they are sick, I cant even drink water for 2 days and GAIN… WTH!
Good luck tomorrow and hope you all feel better soon
7. Jennie | June 22nd, 2011 at 1:59 am
I haven’t talked much about this show because it’s so raunchy, I wonder if people will think I’m kind of porny if I admit to loving it, but Shameless on Showtime is kind of awesome. Although I have a crush on the brother, WHO IS IN HIGH SCHOOL ON THE SHOW, so if not porny than totally disturbing, right?
Also, I am sure you are already watching Parks and Rec, but watch it, past season one, and LOVE IT AS I DO IF YOU AREN’T ALREADY.
(I was weirdly and randomly listening to The Cave as I read this.)
8. aly | June 22nd, 2011 at 8:37 am
OMG YES YES YES TO GAME OF THRONES. also, the books are hands down the best thing i’ve read in the past 5 years. please think about that. there have been some kick ass books inthe past 5 years, and yet! yet! i am confident with this proclaimation! THEY ARE THAT GOOD.
(and this wont be a stephen king-ish recommendation where you got suckered into “it”– which really? who did that to you?!!?!? that was just mean! spoiler alert– but seriously? all that for a fucking giant magic turtle and a gang bag? i was 14 when i read it and was pissed off then!)
9. akofaolain | June 22nd, 2011 at 9:47 am
I had the weight loss disease this past Winter! I was literally making lists of foods I wanted to eat when I could taste food again.
I agree with Jennie, Shameless (Showtime) is a great show!
10. TwoBusy | June 22nd, 2011 at 9:50 am
Good luck today. And count another vote for Game of Thrones, which I caught bits and pieces of and found completely goofy and then I forced myself to sit through the entire first episode and… hooked. Totally, irrevocably hooked.
(Unfortunately, Season One is only a handful of episodes, which means you’ll be searching for another series in a week.)
11. H | June 22nd, 2011 at 9:52 am
Good luck with your procedure!
12. Life of a Doctor's Wife | June 22nd, 2011 at 9:52 am
Mmmmm sriracha.
I watched The Killing and… enjoyed it. Lots of twists and turns and red herrings and stuff. Good acting. But some of the twists annoyed me. So I don’t know if I’m recommending it or not. Helpful, I know.
Hope you and Adam feel 100% better soon!
13. Mandee | June 22nd, 2011 at 10:26 am
Hope everything (sitter and procedure) go well today!
YES to the Game of Thrones! Yes, yes, yes!
I also love Treme – it’s slow and not very plot driven, but it makes me want to live in New Orleans based on the visuals alone.
Other than that, it’s a lot of silly USA shows in my house right not. All of them are fine for summer but less than compelling – In Plain Sight, Covert Affairs, Burn Notice, etc.
Looking forward to Breaking Bad coming back in July!
14. PinkieBling | June 22nd, 2011 at 10:36 am
Aw man, I *knew* I should have sent you the mug to lick. As far as the weight loss thing, a form of this does exist – Sensa. It’s those crystals you sprinkle on your food, have you seen them? They do … something … to your sense of smell/taste, to make your food less appealing. I’m almost tempted to try them (as I also have forty pounds to shed, PLUS the 10 you’ve already banished due to illness), but I’m just waiting for the side effects in a year or two – hey guess what, this shit ruins *all* your sense of smell/taste FOREVER! You know? And that would really suck. Anyway, good luck with the weight loss and the recovery, and I hope Adam is well soon, too.Sorry, I don’t have any TV recs. Good luck with that, too!
15. PinkieBling | June 22nd, 2011 at 10:40 am
OH, and of course, good luck with the … spelunking?
16. Natalie | June 22nd, 2011 at 10:43 am
Hope you get good news, and that the babysitter is a dream.
17. Elsha | June 22nd, 2011 at 11:56 am
My best week during biggest blogging loser was the week I had an awful cold. So yes, sickness was better than my very best efforts. Sad.
Good luck with the babysitter, and the uterus stuff!
18. Jessica | June 22nd, 2011 at 1:27 pm
I hope you’re at least getting a latte or something while you’re out, in addition to the doctor’s appointment…
Also, I hope you get good news!
19. beyond | June 22nd, 2011 at 1:51 pm
the killing! it’s excellent. (i also see what Life of a Doctor’s Wife is saying up there in her comment, but still, excellent.) we dvr-ed the whole series marathon the other day. three final episodes to watch tonight. yay!
20. Laura | June 22nd, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Supernatural–my new fave series. Cheesy, scary and fun.
21. Lara | June 22nd, 2011 at 2:47 pm
As someone who hopes (ohpleaseohplease) my 5,000 word essay is accepted by the Sinus Camp Participant Entry Committee, I would just like to say that the thing everyone needs to remember about Sinus Camp is that it is not just about a group of friends getting together and paying one friend a lot of money to hang out with them, it is about the SINUS COMMUNITY.
I, for one, have already benefited greatly from the community and your guidance, Jonna. Just last night, I was getting ready for bed and checked my feed reader and saw this post. I had FORGOTTEN TO TAKE MY ANTIBIOTICS. If not for this post, my infection could have become much worse.
I am living a better life because of the Sinus Camp Community. What a gift.
While I’m aware that How to Swallow a Pill is a topic at the upcoming Camp, and I probably did it wrong, I did take my pills last night, thanks to you, mighty Sinus Camp leader.
So, here’s where I thank you:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/purplelara/5859952623/
(in all seriousness, good luck with the appointments. Sending good thoughts in your direction).
22. KT | June 22nd, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Good luck today. I had the dye test a few months ago to make sure everything was okay with my tubes- the large pad they give you at the end was a little weird. But then again, you have a kid so you know all about that already.
23. Christine | June 22nd, 2011 at 5:03 pm
I am glad to hear that you are at least starting to feel a bit better and/or are at least not contagious! POOR Adam. Yeesh.
I would recommend the Killing, except after they toyed with my emotions and my intelligence on the finale well now I’m just angry. Really.
I will second the Shameless recommendation made above as I liked it despite not really wanting to. I watched five minutes of Game of Thrones and decided it was absurd, but I hear good things from those who watched more than the opening five minutes. BUT Breaking Bad comes back! EEE! Love.
Good luck with the dye test!
24. Christine | June 22nd, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Good luck!
25. -R- | June 23rd, 2011 at 2:02 pm
I hope the appointment went well.
I loved The Killing.
And I love Friday Night Lights, but I know you’re already watching it.
Second Jennie’s recommendation for Parks and Rec. This season and last were fantastic.
26. Maya | June 23rd, 2011 at 6:15 pm
I eat siracha like 6 year olds eat ketchup. It is sad. Thatis all.
27. Lynnette | June 23rd, 2011 at 9:55 pm
I hope the HSG was non-traumatic. I had pretty awful cramps about a half hour later, but I was given a valium by my doctor to take an hour before the procedure in addition to an ulcer’s worth of ibuprofen.
I’m with Jennie about Parks and Rec.
Lara wins commenting for the day.
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