Blow
June 27th, 2011
The weekend kicked off with thunderstorms and a 5 a.m. Sam wake-up, and honestly, if you’d told me years ago that someday I’d consider 7 a.m. to be sleeping in, I, like everyone else, would have laughed in your face! But when Adam got up with her Sunday while I slept in, I eyed him with envy, “You got 7:15!” I accused. “That’s so LUXURIOUS.”
Obviously, she’s no longer sleeping until 8 or later like she used to. Oh, those halcyon days of yore! I DO have a very important Life Tip, however: If you go to bed earlier, the mornings are more pleasant! Free advice from me to you!
I had a few bizarrely disjointed thoughts that wouldn’t leave my head this weekend that seem related, but I … I’m not sure they are, nor am I really positive of any takeaways up in here. But you know, these FEEL like lesson-learning situations, but I’m not sure they actually ARE.
THING THE FIRST
I used to work with a woman who claimed to be “heavy” in high school, and it really shaped who she was. Mind you, her pictures from that era were of a kid who was a size 12 or 14 at most, so it’s not like she was really all that heavy at all. But we’re all different, and I got the impression that for her, her weight really shaped her high school experience. And there was this GUY, you know, That Guy we all have? That guy she was always madly in love with, but was not all that into her, but was that unattainable GUY? The guy she hooked up with a few times, who was on the high school A-list, while she was … not, and oh God, I might as well be explaining that WATER IS WET, because you all know what I mean.
By the time I knew her, she was probably a size 4 sopping wet and honestly, she was (and I’m guessing still is) one of the most beautiful people I’d ever met in person. And she was smart! And funny! And all-around fantastic and a good, pure person and … God, she just had NO IDEA. None. And everywhere we went, these really smart, attractive, accomplished men would fall all over her, and she constantly — constantly! — rebuffed them, not because she wasn’t interested, but because on some level, she believed she wasn’t worthy. After all, she was the Fat Girl, right?
A few years later, who comes sniffing back around? That Guy, who is now so far from A-list, I don’t even know if he’s still in the alphabet. He was unemployed, overweight, generally as douchey as ever, but OH GOD, if things didn’t end up going in such a way that she MARRIED HIM, COULD YOU DIE? They’re married. It still makes me want to take boiled forks to my eyelids.
THING THE SECOND
I was listening to Kiss 108 — the allegedly hip, young-people’s station for you non-Bostonians — and Jennifer Lopez came on the radio (ON THE FLOOR OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP) and I realized that I could never be a pop star like her, because GOD, it means taking yourself seriously enough that you have to practice looking Serious and Sexy in the mirror, and these are things I could not do with a straight face. I love me some JLo on American Idol, and that song sure is, um, catchy, but if you watch her in ANY video, she’s always so GODDAMNED SERIOUS, with the Cheekbone Face and the whole thing, and … yeah.
Ke$ha, on the other hand, does NOT take herself seriously, and is painfully endearing in the process. However, she is also one concert away from peeing in her pants a la Fergie, because, well, she’s taken the whole “don’t be serious” thing just a SMIDGE too far. I don’t know about your world, but Ke$ha’s seems to include a lot more glitter than mine does, unless it’s of the craft variety.
I just completely lack the ability to take myself seriously. Completely.
And now that I’ve written it all down, wow, there is really nothing deep to take away from either of those things, except that you — well, we all, really — need to strike the perfect balance between taking yourself seriously enough and having the confidence to NOT marry the asshole, but not SO seriously/overconfident that you find yourself making JLo cheekbone faces in the mirror, right?
I DO think, however, that I have a tendency to do what my colleague did, which is to see myself ONE way, and one way only, and I often wonder how many opportunities I’m missing out on by not looking at other angles. I certainly don’t mean in the husband way — I did quite well there, thank you — but in OTHER ways. I have a tendency to dismiss things as “not me” or lack the guts to try something simply because I don’t think I deserve it, or because that’s not the way things have gone in the past. I think I’m often so afraid of going all JLo’s cheekbones on people that I don’t try for things outside of my comfort zone that might seem incongruous with who I thought I was.
But honestly, you guys, you KNOW Jennifer Lopez, like, PRACTICES HER FACES IN THE MIRROR and shit, and I just … come on.
Thus ends the disjointed weekend deep thoughts that are so absurdly disjointed and ridiculous that I am embarrassed for myself. But have a great Tuesday!
*Kesha. Yes, I am not kidding, I … I love her.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Gettin' thinky with it
29 Comments Add your own
1. Mary O | June 27th, 2011 at 11:40 pm
Hee hee. You totally pinpointed exactly why JLo drives me nuts. Can’t stand that lady.
But I liked this post… like it a LOT!
2. Lucy | June 28th, 2011 at 5:55 am
Yup, you’ve really got me thinking now! I was always the ugly idiot at school, I live my life being self-depreciating in case I offend anyone if I have an ounce of confidence, perhaps I should just relax a bit – perhaps it’s okay to be me and I’m not so bad after all.
3. pseudostoops | June 28th, 2011 at 8:40 am
She MARRIED him? Oy.
J.Lo totally practices serious face. And maybe I am being too prissy here, but isn’t she a little…mature to be singing about drinking and dancing all night long, in a way that is believable? I mean, woman has twins. I assume her nights are spent less “putting her drinks up” and more “putting her babies in the bed,” right?
4. Shelly | June 28th, 2011 at 8:50 am
OMG, she married him?! Oh, that’s awful. I had a similar moment with one of my friends recently. She obssessed over a guy in college, was constantly talking about him, constantly trying to get his attention, and it never worked. She eventually wised up and realized that he’s a pretentious idiot, thank God. But now, she has a friend who is obssessing over a guy who doesn’t like her, and she sees the ridiculousness of it all. Her comment to me was, “I don’t know how you put up with me in college.” And I just laughed and said, yeah, but we all go through that. My “that guy” was in high school and I was pretty much over it by the time I got to college, but we all have that phase. (Fun fact: My “that guy” grew up to run his family’s dairy farm! Actual, honest-to-god cows. Perhaps I dodged a bullett, there.)
5. jonniker | June 28th, 2011 at 8:55 am
Pseudostoops, GOD YES, I said the same thing recently. Not even Diddy continues to sing about clubbing until the break of dawn. Why does JLo insist on acting like she’s a party animal? She’s OVER FORTY and has CHILDREN.
6. li | June 28th, 2011 at 9:06 am
YES YES YES! i internally mock JLo as the crazy old lady that all the hip kids are laughing at in the club whenever I hear that silly song. She is too old. She should not be there. She doesn’t even realize how ridiculous she looks. Stop pretending to be all club kid cool. You actually ARE old enough to be their MOTHER.
7. Cherie Beyond | June 28th, 2011 at 10:18 am
It is a fine balance, and as I age I struggle with it mightily. Because it seems like that balance gets even more crucial as you get older. When someone is 23 and acting either too serious or too goofy, we expect that they will get enough life experience and someday grow out of it. But, I am now 36 and when one is 36 one should generally have enough confidence to have a handle on when to be serious and when to be not serious and I think I do but what if I’m wrong and I end up (metaphorically) marrying that guy?
8. bessie.viola | June 28th, 2011 at 10:26 am
I think that the comments have nailed what It is about J-Lo, because for all of her seriously-seriousness about her face and her career you KNOW SHE’S LYING IN HER SONGS. That just makes me not want to listen. Although I suppose I’m pigeonholing, since SURE women can go out and party after forty it’s just… I’m not even thirty just yet and I don’t even wanna. So. Doesn’t ring true, I guess is what I’m saying.
9. Ris | June 28th, 2011 at 10:48 am
Oy, she married him? Yikes. I was rather unattractive and nerdy in high school, fell for a Really Popular Boy who jerked me around and then ignored me, and now through the power of Facebook I see that he’s pudgy, balding, and dropped out of college. Thank you, karma.
10. PinkieBling | June 28th, 2011 at 10:51 am
Oh, your poor friend. I think your takeaway is exactly on point, and it’s a hard balance to strike (but really, what balance in life comes easily?). Favorites: “take a boiled fork to my eyelids” and “going all JLo’s cheekbones on people.” HAAA!!!
11. parodie | June 28th, 2011 at 10:55 am
This resonates so much I am now going to pour my heart into a blog comment… but, seriously, this is absolutely my life. In the past year (thanks to hard work, graduation, credentials, etc), I have been given reasonably significant power and authority (in my limited domain). But I still see myself as a “little girl” (one birthday away from 30! and yet), and so I don’t always handle it very well because I have trouble believing other people would take me seriously.
The crazy part is that the main reason people are unlikely to take me seriously is that I don’t take myself seriously. But how do I get out of this loop? Seeing myself differently is not actually that easy – it’s so insidious.
12. Reagan | June 28th, 2011 at 10:55 am
Haha- one of the only times I’ve recognized your song title!! (You’ve had some Britney song titles, too
I’ve pushed myself a little bit lately and it’s so fun to go from saying “Oh, I’m not creative…” to realizing, “Wait, maybe I AM creative!” We are definitely limited by the thoughts and phrases that we’ve practiced and said 1,000 times in life.
Also, I can’t take JLo very seriously anymore after those MC Hammer pants from her Idol performance. Oy.
13. Life of a Doctor's Wife | June 28th, 2011 at 11:19 am
She MARRIED him? Oh boy.
I liked these stories and the lesson you pulled from them. Sometimes I wonder, like you did, if I’m missing out by not looking at myself from other angles. I tend to think in terms of “I’m a person who doesn’t…” or “I’m a person who does…” and that can be limiting.
But on other days I think… Well, I KNOW MYSELF and that’s valuable, too right? I guess I’m constantly striving for a balance between pushing myself and knowing when NOT to push myself.
By the way, I loved contemplating the difference between JLo and KeSha.
14. Sarah | June 28th, 2011 at 11:34 am
I think I used to be a took-myself -too-seriously, made cheekbone faces at myself in the mirror kind of kid. Until I saw my senior pictures, and just how ridiculous that practiced serious face looked, and how much nicer an actual SMILE was. Now I primarily concentrate on smiling in such a way as to not create three chins.
15. Kristabella | June 28th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I totally get that. When I first lost a bunch of weight, I was the SAME way. I became way too promiscuous because guys were hitting on me! And wanted to hook up with me! And that had never happened!
It was a bad phase that I’m glad I’m out of.
16. Slim | June 28th, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Clearly, none of us can believe she married him. NOT HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO WORK, UNIVERSE.
You have seen the Star Trek/”Tick Tock” video, haven’t you?
17. Josefina | June 29th, 2011 at 11:49 am
I know what you mean about dismissing opportunities that seem not you or that you feel you don’t deserve or SOMETHING, along with the whole Taking One’s Self Seriously aspect. At times I’ve purposely tried that stuff, just to prove to myself that I CAN IF I WANT TO. Other times it takes more energy/mind-blowing (my own) than I can really handle. I don’t know exactly what to make of that.
18. slynnro | June 29th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
GUESS WHO BE GOING TO THE KE$HA CONCERT!
I am about to blow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow with excitement.
19. Annie | June 29th, 2011 at 9:13 pm
I’m annoyed that she thought she was “heavy” because she was a 12. Though, I guess if she’s a 4 now, maybe she was overweight at the time, because I’m a 12 and you can see my hip bones. I got tha’ baby birthin’ hips. But, anyway, I guess “heavy” is relative, but man… That messed her up enough to marry a douche bag? Oh, our society.
Love me some Ke$ha!
20. g~ | June 30th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
You know, this is a wee bit of a stretch but I often find myself browsing the shoe section of stores and being drawn to a certain type of shoe (the size 12 confidence-buster, if you will) and consciously fighting it to find a harmonious balance between clogs and 6″ J-Lo platform heels. Errr…maybe this analogy isn’t working for anyone but me but I am totally identifying with finding the balance.
21. http://www.asicschuhe.com/ | December 8th, 2011 at 3:47 am
Asics Schuhe ist die beste Laufschuhe,Beste Verarbeitungen, hochwertige Materialen und ein unverwechselbares Design machen ASICS GEL KINSEI 2 zum Liebhaber vieler Schuhfans, denn sie sind auch für den Alltag perfekt einsetzbar!
22. christian louboutin sale | December 16th, 2011 at 2:49 am
That you are consequently nice! I just adore realising stunning along with creative giveaways this way. They will really jazz up my own morning, many thanks greatly. http://www.luxurylouboutinsale.com/
23. http://www.mulberryoutletsc.co.uk/ | December 19th, 2011 at 4:08 am
If you are looking at purchasing on your own bags that are the perfect example for luxurious, modernity and trend then you definitely should check out the latest assortment of mulberry bags.http://www.mulberryoutletsc.co.uk/
24. North Face Fleece Clearance | December 23rd, 2011 at 1:54 am
It is well known that Mens North Face jackets are an all-around winter outerwear. It is the perfect outerwear in harsh weather conditions.
25. north face jackets sale | December 26th, 2011 at 3:21 am
Electronic commerce is another great thought that make shopping an easy and joyful thing. Nowadays, you can easily find various north face jackets on sale and choose the style you like.Winter is grim for human beings. However, human beings are so intelligent that they can create things that not only keep the cold away but also make wearers more elegant. north face jackets is one of human beings’ great thoughts.
26. discount north face jackets | January 8th, 2012 at 7:59 pm
A lot of women are actually enjoying not only the cold weather that the winter season is bringing each and every one of them, but also the opportunity that they have to dress up and be as fashionable as they can be.
27. north face khumbu | January 14th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
The article is very impressive, thank you for your share i like it so much
28. cheap uggs | January 18th, 2012 at 6:26 am
thank you for your share i like it so much
29. cheap uggs | January 18th, 2012 at 6:28 am
uggs on sale cheap bailey button Dong Xiaokui slept very cheap uggs go out around the wall off the wall really cheap uggs injury to the weather will change on the pain. Dai Yuanqing have a look of concern roxy uggs on sale no classic tall uggs on sale sat down next to him.
Leave a Comment
Some HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed