Some of These Days
August 3rd, 2011
Having a two year old is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done. I know, GROUNDBREAKING. But honestly, it is. They’re absurd, irrational little beings. Yesterday, for example, we had plans to go to the beach. Sam LOVES the beach. Loves it. “Babing suit? BABING SUIT?” is a common refrain around here. The day after we came back from North Carolina, she threw a giant tantrum because she couldn’t walk to the beach in ten minutes or less.
However, yesterday — the ONE DAY out of the hundred days this summer that she’s ASKED to go to the beach when we are ACTUALLY GOING TO THE BEACH — she announced, while buck naked on the couch, “I don’t WANNA go to the beach!” (This was obviously preceded by, “I don’t WANNA put on a diaper!” OKAY THEN. HOW ABOUT YOU NOT PEE ON THE COUCH?)
As for the beach, you know, fine, kid, but we are GOING TO THE BEACH. Except HAAA, we didn’t, because her beach partner and BFF fell and scraped her knee on the way to the car, refused to leave the couch HERSELF because she needed her boo-boo to feel better, and nothing would cure that except sitting with a warm Elmo ice pack on her knee and watching Mickey’s Clubhouse. So, you know, beach plan aborted, and they ran around screaming for two hours inside. Boo-boo was obviously cured.
This morning, she threw a tank-size tantrum because I wouldn’t let her drink my iced coffee. The GIANT ONE from Dunkin’ Donuts. Yes, child, let me load you with 3,000 milligrams of caffeine, ensuring that you refuse to sleep until the second grade.
And quirks! HER QUIRKS. You guys, she is obsessed with her frog boots, but for some reason she only associates them with a bowl of strawberries and blueberries. It’s … weird. “Mommy, berries, please!” Beat. “I NEED MAH BOOTS!” And there she is, booted and berried and completely happy. The reverse, for the record, is also true. “I wanna wear my boots!” *runs off, puts boots on* “MOMMY! I NEED MAH BERRIES!”
Ridiculous. I told you. RIDICULOUS.
But then — oh, then — she is the sweetest. It’s like mood swing central up in here. She loves to be tickled and snuggled and will say, “Mommy!” so softly and with such affection, I could die happy right there on the spot. Physical affection is her game, and I love it. I LOVE it. All down time is spent against me with as little space between us as possible. “Sit with me?” she asks on an hourly basis at least. “Sit with ME, Mommy!” And DUH, I DO. Moments later, she’s wiggling into position, moving my arm to the exact location she prefers it (on her hip) and sticking her foot in my face. “Rub mah foot? FOOT?” And like some kind of slave, I do. Always.
Tonight, oh holy God, she sat with Adam and told him how much she missed him today. Later, she took my face in her hands and said, “Oh, MOMMY. I love you.” I am typing this from beyond the grave, because that moment killed me. KILLED ME.
Five minutes later, she’s refusing to go to bed until she has “JUICE! SNACK! JUICEEEEE! SNACCCCCCK! NO NIGHT-NIGHT!” and hurling herself dangerously off the couch in frustration. When night-night did finally commence, she was asleep in approximately three seconds. The harder they protest, the harder they fall, those little contrarian crazy people.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bury myself in a 28-ounce glass of wine.
(That’s my kid! She’s so beautiful, isn’t she? I KNOW, THIS WHOLE ENTRY WAS SO INDULGENT. Photo taken by the mom of the aforementioned be-boo-boo’d toddler and one of Sam’s BFFs, the woman I mention ALL THE DAMN TIME, but come on, how talented is she? Megan, of Megan Jane Photography.)
Have a great weekend!
*Andrew Bird. So … has he ever been known to date anyone? Is he married? JUST ASKING, FOR MAYBE FANTASY PURPOSES.
Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs
40 Comments Add your own
1. mar | August 3rd, 2011 at 10:49 pm
Gorgeous, your girl.
2. Karly | August 3rd, 2011 at 11:26 pm
I’m so jealous that you get to hang out with Megan. She’s such an amazing photographer! And Sam is absolutely GORGEOUS!
3. Natalie | August 3rd, 2011 at 11:50 pm
That’s an awesome picture. She sounds adorable!
4. Erin | August 3rd, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Oh, Jonna. I just love you. You made me snort with laughter, and cry from the sweet tender moments. LOVE. My son is 15 months old, and I am seeing little hints of the ridiculous toddler quirks. Hilarious.
And, your baby is gorgeous. What a stunning photo. I feel like I should pay you for the entertainment. Thanks for sharing.
5. Bekki | August 4th, 2011 at 1:29 am
Oh, the “sit with me” breaks my heart because they (my nearly 3 year old twins) only ask when I’m using the TV as a distraction to get shit done. And I feel like the worst mom ever when I say “not right now guys.”
We had a tantrum in the bathroom of a public place that literally left me shaking and I had to put myself in time out in the car because I was just so frazzled by it. And yet, the stories that come out of their mouths, when they narrate their day or recount a show….my god, it is just the cutest flipping thing.
I have always held that parenting is a roller coaster, but until the last few months, the swings took weeks or months even. But now, the swings are hourly and I’m left out of breath and crazed. It’s so hard.
6. Erin | August 4th, 2011 at 1:40 am
I love hearing about Sam! So much crazy fun the toddlers have. The snuggling! The rain boots! Awesome! Gorgeous Sam.
7. Kate | August 4th, 2011 at 1:49 am
What an absolute dolly she is. Of course, you knew that.
There’s just something about little girls and their own brand of sweetness. I have an almost-6 year old and she still melts me. I hope I can remember some of this sweetness when she’s slamming doors and hating me because I won’t let her __________(fill in the blank).
8. Lynnette | August 4th, 2011 at 1:50 am
You have described so beautifully what it’s like to live with a two-year-old. Today I described myself as delerious – with both happiness and exhaustion. And she’s not even two until Monday.
9. Jessie | August 4th, 2011 at 8:34 am
They’re maddeningly wonderful, aren’t they? Being three has brought out the extremes in my child even more. I often hear, “Mommy, I want you!” meaning she wants some snuggles, and I, of course, give in as often as I am possible. (She often wants me while I’m nursing her sister, go figure.)
Andrew Bird – I may be imagining things, but I’m pretty sure he dated Mandy Moore for a little while. Off to Google this situation.
10. Jessie | August 4th, 2011 at 8:37 am
No, I was totally hallucinating that Andrew Bird/Mandy Moore thing.
11. Kate | August 4th, 2011 at 8:55 am
She is such a sweet sweet girl.
Despite the tendency toward irrationality and tantrums, I’m finding this age to be absolutely enchanting. I give in to nearly all demands as well.
xoxoxo
12. Jen | August 4th, 2011 at 8:56 am
She is so gorgeous. Which is probably a good thing
heh
13. Erica | August 4th, 2011 at 9:19 am
It’s like they know, on an instinctual level, that we need the unbearable sweetness to balance out the crazy.
My girl is the same way with the love. Her favorite thing is to crawl into bed with me in the morning and have “a snuggle party.” She snuggles her still sleep-warm body as close as she can to mine and sighs a deep sigh of contentment. It’s the very best time of every day. You know, until she pulls some dick move five minutes later and I wonder why I don’t close and lock my bedroom door at night.
14. Jenna | August 4th, 2011 at 9:29 am
Oh the two year old roller coaster. It sure is a wild ride!
My two year old will announce, apropos of nothing, “Daddy loves me so, so much” and “I love Mommy THIS MUCH” and the spontaneous declarations of love are always followed a few minutes later by equally loud declarations about “NO WIPE FACE MOMMY! NOOOOOO!” and “SNACK TIME! CACKERS IN ME MOUF! PFFFTTT!!”. It’s good that the highs are so high.
And that photo of Sam is so, so lovely.
15. Anne | August 4th, 2011 at 9:32 am
Man, your kid is so frickin awesome. I love hearing stories about her. I wish I could come over and hang out with you guys!
(SUPER cute picture, too.)
16. Lawyerish | August 4th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Sham! Sham!!!
Oh, I love her.
17. Therese | August 4th, 2011 at 10:04 am
Thanks for sharing, I’m glad to know I’m not alone in dealing with the craziness of a two-year old. My son sounds just like your daughter. He’s the most adorable, loveable and reasonable child one minute and the next….well, I don’t know but it’s crazy. I told my husband it’s like living with a hormonal teenage girl.
18. Christine | August 4th, 2011 at 10:30 am
Sam sounds awesomely adorable and also tiring. But man oh man, is she ever gorgeous. That face!
19. Li | August 4th, 2011 at 10:50 am
OK — gorgeous picture, gorgeous girl, great post!
20. jive turkey | August 4th, 2011 at 11:53 am
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And like cheap nike air max 2009 for sale said in the previous comment, your daughter is truly beautiful.
21. Denora | August 4th, 2011 at 12:41 pm
I have always ALWAYS wanted boys when I get around to having kids, but I swear every time I read about your daughter, the tiny little part of me that wants a girl grows a bit. She’s so freaking adorable, I don’t even know how you stand it.
22. Julie K | August 4th, 2011 at 1:14 pm
If you have no objection, I’m going to start using “I NEED MAH BOOTS” in a hyrid of ridiculous response/channeling Tammy Taylor whenever I feel the need. Because, really, who among us can be expected to function without all our gear?
23. HollyLynne | August 4th, 2011 at 1:32 pm
She is absolutley gorgeous.
My gorgeous boy is fifteen months and just starting to throw a tantrum here and there. It is comforting to think that at two there may still be tantrums, but there will probably be snuggly lovey moments too.
24. Wendi | August 4th, 2011 at 1:59 pm
So sweet!! For some reason, the berries and boots story made me think of the book Jamberry (one of my kids’ favorites — we have it saved in the hope chest now that they’re grown). I don’t remember, though, if the little boy in the book wears boots.
25. Jessica | August 4th, 2011 at 3:32 pm
My niece called her swim suit a “bangin’ suit” for a long time.
I love this age, as well. The lows are low, but he can kill me dead in two seconds flat with an impromptu kiss.
26. H | August 4th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
She is so gorgeous. I’m glad you’re enjoying the toddler years!
27. Corinne | August 4th, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Oh, Andrew Bird. As I am already married to a violinist I don’t need another – but OH. I’m pretty sure he transcends sex.
28. Page | August 4th, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Jonna, she’s just gorgeous. And her berries and boots made me want a pair of my own boots and a bowl of my very own berries. How freaking cute.
29. Danell | August 4th, 2011 at 9:37 pm
She is beautiful. And she always looks so….CLEAN. How do you do that?
30. Lucy | August 5th, 2011 at 6:23 am
Sam is SUCH a pretty little girl, just adorable. She sounds so loving too, what a precious kid.
31. Halloweenlover | August 5th, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Breathtaking. AND FOR THE RECORD, MEGAN IS INCREDIBLY TALENTED. Okay, I’m done. Toddlers are ridiculous and delicious at the same time.
32. Molly | August 6th, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Ah yes – my two year old boy will make me wish I knew how to hog tie a small feisty human but then he’ll run over to use his potty and say “I want to make you happy!” and it just kills me or he’ll say “I wanna give you a nice hug” and I’m like – wait aren’t you the one who threw a pull-up in the toilet 3 hours ago and now it looks like some giant alien slug lives in the toilet bowl?!
It is fun though and we are making some great memories.
33. Ginger | August 8th, 2011 at 1:19 am
I call toddlerhood schizophrenic. Because seriously.
And of course, she’s gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous.
34. Suebob | August 8th, 2011 at 11:15 am
They are funny little things, aren’t they? But imagine…she literally does not know what is possible in the world and what isn’t. She has to figure it out and now that she has a will, she has to see what she can make happen with it. She’s pushing every button and turning every knob she can – emotionally, physically – to find out the boundaries of the world.
35. the new girl | August 8th, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Those lips! THOSE LIPS!! I want to smooch her little face RIGHT OFF.
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