Somewhere a Clock is Ticking
August 25th, 2011
I’ve been cat sitting for a good friend of mine, and it has, oddly, made me feel better about hiring babysitters, because one of the most irrational fears I had about having someone in my home was that they would, uh, snoop around? And discover … well, probably nothing exciting, is the hilariously ironic part. I mean, even my bedside table drawers contain little more than some old knitting projects, hand lotion and an ancient pile of magazines. Anything of value/informationally harmful is locked in a fireproof box, and if they want to dig through our filing cabinets to find old copies of our water bill, by all means, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
But the thing is, I hire nice, upstanding, respectable babysitters who would never DO that, and yet it’s always been my fear. And there I was, in Jess’s house the other day, creeping through her rooms with such deference that I didn’t even want to look around, lest I see something I shouldn’t. Meanwhile, I am normally at her house so often, I might as well LIVE THERE, and don’t even think twice about rooting around her cabinets for a snack, but when I was there ALONE, I was petrified of … disturbing something or opening a drawer and having, I don’t know, a TAX RETURN fly out and READ ITSELF TO ME, thus leaving me with accidental knowledge of their inner workings that I did not want. I can’t even fathom LOOKING for those things, and I genuinely don’t know anyone who WOULD, much less the nice women who come and hang out with Sam.
Also, um, DING DONG HELLO, you guys, I’ve been using the library and I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT, IT IS SO AWESOME. I know I talked about this whole, um, request feature, but ah, the whole going to pick up FREE BOOKS that I just READ and then RETURN THEM when I am finished is … um, whoa. Yes, I know this concept is hardly revolutionary, but IT IS TO ME. I previously used the library only for older books that I fished from the shelves, but now? There is BOOK PLANNING. And people, I love nothing more than to PLAN. This is why BUDGETS MAKE ME HAPPY. And the library request system is like … like a BOOK BUDGET, kind of.
I do struggle with the fact that I’ve always like to use my discretionary income to support authors and bookstores, so this is … hard for me. But honestly, I read too damn much to be able to justify the cost, particularly when half the books I read are just throwaways (I’m looking angrily at you, Linger, with my LET-DOWN EYES). This way, however, I support the library and the right for everyone to have free access to good books. I particularly like to do this with my late fees, which are ALWAYS on books I get out for Sam, because I CANNOT REMEMBER which ones we own and which ones are the library’s.
And finally, I’ve been having several Bloody Beefs lately — prompted entirely by That Time of The Month, and I am ashamed to admit it, BUT IT IS THE TRUTH — about various things, typically money-related, because this is an area I feel like I HAVE CONTROL, so I become HYPER-FOCUSED ON IT, which is just ridiculous, because a) we’re fine; b) it is what it is, please, you show me an American family who has no financial worries whatsoever and I’ll show you … well, half of MetroWest, probably. Affluence is the name of their game, They of $300K Median Incomes. But whatever! THAT IS NOT THE NORM.
So there I am, having my monthly PMS-related freakout about — wait for it — the cost of college tuition. Which, yes, a worthy thing to freak out over, but you know, my kid starts PRESCHOOL NEXT WEEK. And I was so worked up about all of this that tonight, I announced to Adam that YES, FINE, Sam can live at home while she goes to Mass Bay Community College, it’s FINE. I said this as if it were FACT and GOING TO HAPPEN, because, according to my PMS-fueled calculations, a state school education is going to cost SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR, and I want another kid! Do YOU have an extra $150K lying around for ONE YEAR OF SCHOOL? I don’t think our 529 plan is going to grow THAT MUCH, do YOU?
(Picture this all said in a hysterical, this-must-be-handled-RIGHTNOW voice, if you will.)
And this, seriously, is where I love my husband so hard, because he puts up with exactly NONE of my bullshit and does nothing to fuel my anxiety, but instead, replied with:
“You know who we should ask about this. Gary.”
“Who’s Gary?”
“Our next door neighbor, the financial advisor. IN THE HOUSE WE LIVE IN SIXTEEN YEARS FROM NOW. Do you see how ridiculous this is now? I love you. Goodnight.”
Aaaand, fin.
*Snow Patrol
Entry Filed under: Adam,Books,The anxious anxiety
94 Comments Add your own
1. MakeDo | August 26th, 2011 at 12:23 am
As a librarian, I am thrilled you have found us. My Hold Shelf is my sacred place or something – and don’t worry about authors and bookstores. One, we libraries buy like 70-gajillion copies of a title so everyone can get to it, which the authors like. And I always use my library as a filter – to figure out which books I love and have to have and give to others – and then I visit my bookstore and buy in bulk. Everybody wins.
2. Ginger | August 26th, 2011 at 12:53 am
Gary’s gonna have his hands full when you guys move in.
(husbands that know how to diffuse the nonsense are the best).
And as MakeDo said, don’t discount the financial impact libraries have for authors. I’ve known books that were “made” by libraries getting behind them.
3. JCF | August 26th, 2011 at 1:38 am
I just had the EXACT same thought about libraries! I didn’t use the library hardly ever for my own books, because how can I browse when I have a 3yo, 2yo, and 1yo with me? The request feature is going to change my life, I tell you! Also, I always had tons of late fees in the past (because I check out 18 books for the kids and then forget the due date, but we just moved and our new library emails me 3 days before the due date with a list of titles! And I can renew online easily! Technology, I tell you!
4. mar | August 26th, 2011 at 8:08 am
Ahahaha! I love Adam!
Also, I’ve lived in this city 10 years now and it took me 5 years to discover the library. Plus,they just upped the number of holds you can have from 3 to 5; I’m in absolute heaven! (Shiver is on there because of you & I get to go pick up Hunger Games tonight!)
5. Ris | August 26th, 2011 at 8:48 am
I also use the library to help me decide which books I like enough to actually buy. I LOVE the request system. It’s like getting a present every time they email to say my book is on hold.
6. Li | August 26th, 2011 at 9:11 am
I LOVE ADAM. what a perfect answer!
ps – i also have college freakout
7. Maura | August 26th, 2011 at 9:47 am
Ask GARY. OMG. Perfect answer to all of my crazy questions. I might make myself a sign.
I… have a phobia about library books. I didn’t always. I was a tween library whore and read everything I could get my grubby hands on when I was younger. (P.S.A. to my mom, Danielle Steele is not appropriate for your innocent 6th grader).
Anyway, after that Seinfeld episode with George and the bathroom book… I’m skeeved out by thoughts of where these library books have been. (IN SOMEONE’S BATHROOM. MAYBE THEY DON’t WASH THEIR HANDS!!) *shudders*
My book buying habit is out of control, though, becasue we have nowhere to put them and I feel like buying books on my kindle is a bit of a waste. I’ll ask Gary.
8. H | August 26th, 2011 at 9:57 am
College. Don’t get me started. I have one who earned his degree in May and has a “real” job that only lasts until November. My other child is direction-less (but smart and ambitious) and living in the dorm (2 miles from me) because she wants (and should have) independence. We’re in that horrible spot in which we get no financial aid but struggle to pay, blah blah. I cried all the way to the mailbox to send that tuition check. There are millions of families in the same boat – a very leaky boat.
Adam is hilarious! I hope you stay safe and dry this weekend.
9. Andrea | August 26th, 2011 at 10:08 am
Its ok to freak out about the cost of college! Yes it is probably going to be a million dollars a year by then. But, as someone working with college students, and a $215 for what seems like life monthly student loan payment, my (unsolicited) advice is this…save what you can toward her college fund, making sure you are contributing far more generously to your own retirement fund of course (you can’t take a loan for retirement). There are so many options for her to pay for school when the time comes (job, scholarships, financial aid and loans), that even if it is expensive, your money plus the other options will go pretty far.
Or there’s always entering her in beauty *ahem* “scholarship” pageants and playing the lottery.
10. -Jen | August 26th, 2011 at 10:10 am
Another librarian who is all smiles about the request and hold shelf love.
11. KT | August 26th, 2011 at 10:35 am
HA HA HA HA I love your husband’s answer. Gary. Awesome.
12. Erica | August 26th, 2011 at 10:59 am
I am so glad you are using your library! I also love the request system, and usually don’t buy books unless my library system doesn’t have it or the hold list is 264849861 people long!
Most libraries also have dvd’s and cd’s you can also borrow, and some have digital audio books and books you can download to a reading device.
13. PinkieBling | August 26th, 2011 at 11:07 am
HAHAHAHA. So when you talked about it on Twitter, and I hijacked the convo to rant about my own school cost-related BS…turns out I’m ALSO PMS-ing. Bloody beefs? YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE the one I had yesterday. At work. I still want to die.
Your husband is awesome and hilarious, just like you.
Favorite: “…and having, I don’t know, a TAX RETURN fly out and READ ITSELF TO ME” – HAAAAA!
14. Lynnette | August 26th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Don’t worry about the supporting of authors. My daughter loved a book we borrowed SO MUCH that I ended up buying it and we read it every night. In fact, if you want to see it, it’s called Goodnight Sweet Pig by Linda Bailey, and it is ridiculously cute. I have never seen it in bookstores, and my local librarian just recommended it to me because she loved it.
I have donated a bunch of books to the library, and they were always gracious about receiving them. I’m just waiting for the day that they offer e-books.
15. Josefina | August 26th, 2011 at 11:42 am
Ha, Adam’s answer was fantastic. I think about the college issue, too. All the time. Years ago, I worked in the student loan department of a large bank, and at times I was astonished at the amount of debt parents were willing to take on to put their children through school. Debt they couldn’t afford–horrible, crippling debt which they literally BEGGED for the privilege to accumulate. I don’t know if I can express myself properly on this point, but I’ll try: I keep hoping that due to drastically rising costs there will be more alternatives when my children reach that point. I value education, I value my degree, but I want things to change. Aaaaand I deleted the rest of the rant; this will suffice.
I think very similar thoughts when I’m alone in someone else’s home. I really enjoyed reading that part of the post, especially the part about the tax return.
Unfortunately, I’m with Maura about the library books. I’ve had a bad run with our local library and have all but given up. I actually cleaned and disinfected a bunch of filthy books (too filthy for me to feel comfortable reading) before returning them. Yuck.
16. Jessica | August 26th, 2011 at 11:47 am
I am someone with 75K in college debt! It’s terrible! But, it’s also completely my own fault. I went to a private college, out of state with no scholarship. Had I been smarter, I would have gone to a state school and left with hardly a loan due to grants, scholarships, etc. It would have helped if I had something of a fund for college but I’m the first person in my family to go and they didn’t exactly know how to plan for my choice. I don’t regret it, but I do hope my children are a lot smarter when it comes time to pick a college.
I love borrowing books. My mom works at a library so I just tell her what I want and wait for her to bring it to me. It’s awesome!
17. sassymonkey | August 26th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Libraries also support authors. Buy checking out an author’s books at the library you are increasing the circulation numbers, which means the library will be more likely not only to buy that author’s books but books that are similar to it from author authors.
18. Life of a Doctor's Wife | August 26th, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Gary. Ha! Love it.
But I do not love the college tuition thing, and now I am also worrying about it, even though we HAVE NO KIDS. But my husband and I went to the same college, so obvs we want our (as yet non existent) child to go there. And tuition has gone up by THIRTY PERCENT in EIGHT YEARS. What the eff?!?! That is RIDICULOUS. I really can’t imagine that someone who gets the same English degree I got eight years ago is going to make 30% more than I did straight out of college. So… the tuition increase is INSANE.
19. Miranda | August 26th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
I’ve been chuckling about Gary all day now…
20. Carolyn J. | August 27th, 2011 at 11:12 am
Actually, Gary will probably ask you why you didn’t start thinking about it when Sam was little. So score one for you.
I am another library employee who reads your blog, who knew there were so many of us? Libraries tend to lose a person as a customer between the ages of 18-26 because they don’t have children, and have moved on from “needing” the library themselves. It is a challenge for libraries to keep adults coming back.
Libraries always need more patrons, especially of the reading-for-pleasure types.
Authors also love libraries – we’re very supportive of them, even before they publish.
21. Natalie | August 27th, 2011 at 11:49 am
I don’t like to spend money on books either! I don’t think I could get a kindle b/c every book is at least $10. I started putting books on hold at the library, and then I couldn’t read them fast enough! I like paperback swap and half price books.
22. Christine | August 27th, 2011 at 1:50 pm
The way you were worried about college is the way my husband worries about retirement. He is CrazyPants. But really, college tuition is just out of freaking control, and there doesn’t seem to be a good way to bring it back down to reality, especially as more and more professions require at least some college. (And we’ll leave law school alone, because, when I think about it I weep. I went to a state school, and had no undergrad debt, so I’m not that badly off, but the job market at least in Philly is the pits. Frankly, the way law schools keep enrolling more and more students is unconscionable.)
23. Jen | August 27th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
I love your husband’s response to your college tuition freakout. BWHAHAA. Can he come on Twitter and calm all our asses down???!
24. tracey - justanothermommy | August 28th, 2011 at 10:04 am
I have to go to the library on my hands and knees, begging for forgiveness for the late fees we have. When you homeschool, and go on vacation, and forget to return abou5 50 books? The fines RACK UP.
It’s bad. Reeeeal bad.
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