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September 15th, 2011
As marvelously predicted, Sam’s preschool day immediately fell to crap today for when I dropped her off, instead of offering the kiss and enthusiastic “BYYYYE!” that she typically shot my way (haaa, for what, two days? And yet, I’m all, you know, TYPICALLY), she clung to me like a spider monkey and — AND! — when I finally turned to leave, I looked back to find her sobbing with her head in her hands. That was … kind of eye-pokingly awful. I KNOW she’s fine as soon as I walk out the door, but to have the last image of her standing there crying is, again, EYE-POKINGLY AWFUL.
Of course, I arrived to pick her up and she was … completely fine. Of course. I mean, she went outside and painted and climbed and ate clams on the half-shell for her snack, or whatever. (How ELSE do you explain “teddy bears and clams,” HMMMM?) But God, it kills me to pick her up and have her lay her head on my shoulder for a very, very long time, as though I had forsaken her to be next in line for the reaping and if not for my arrival, she’d be headed to the arena to be eaten by genetically engineered wolves.
Meanwhile, I welcomed the reprieve to not only do exciting things like clean the fridge (holla!), but to give myself a damned BREAK, because you guys, my kid is into flashcards, and lo, it is very cute, it is also more annoying than one might think. I am loath to admit that my kid is into flashcards only because I feel like it makes me look like one of those crazy parents who is forcing her to learn Swahili in between diaper changes (“Can you say ‘mtoto’? MAH-TO-TO”), but a quick Twitter consult assures me that it is very common, and my plans to groom Sam for a lofty career screwing caps on toothpaste tubes are fully intact.
However, to give myself a break from the LITERALLY never-ending flashcards, I decided to whip out the paint this afternoon, and HAAAA YOU GUYS, HOW STUPID AM I? VERY.
“Mah HAIR! SO PRETTY!”
I just … well, it’s a good thing she’s in preschool, because HELL if I am doing THAT again, because, honestly, neither Sam nor I is a fan of the out of context bath (“I AM NOT GOING NIGHT-NIGHT!” Fine, kid, NO ONE IS MAKING YOU GO TO BED AT 4. BUT YOUR HAIR IS BLUE), and it took three apre-bath scrubbings to get the blue streaks off the tub, which, you know, was kind of helpful as I had “bathtub scrubbing” on my list of preschool chores ANYWAY, but just not RIGHT THEN. I also did not enjoy scrubbing the blue footprints leading to the bathroom, and I have no explanation for that, except that I do believe she painted her feet.
And with that, I’m going to do some work and read Divergent, which is AWESOME. AND, by the way, I can’t be the only person who wants to THROW UP when she sees the Denny’s commercial with the MACARONI AND CHEESE BURGER. AS IN, MACARONI AND CHEESE ON A BURGER. No. Just no. I’m all for gluttony, but I think that can be satisfied with a nice bloomin’ onion or maybe a special pack of Klondike bars, AM I RIGHT? JESUS.
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Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Books
126 Comments Add your own
1. Jessica | September 15th, 2011 at 11:03 pm
I keep trying to think of something to say about the burger (this is the first time I’ve heard of it) and I’m stuck on…huh? Why? How? Who eats that? Huh?
Also, my 2-year-old LOVES flashcards.
2. H | September 15th, 2011 at 11:11 pm
I haven’t seen the commercial and I guess I’m glad I haven’t. That sounds absolutely disgusting.
3. Melissa H | September 16th, 2011 at 1:25 am
Isn’t Divergent great? I suggested it to a FB friend and she read it and said it reminded her of Uglies so I got that book at the library and will start it tonight.
4. Ris | September 16th, 2011 at 8:43 am
Mac and Cheese Burger? That sounds…really bad. That sounds like it would be bad if a gourmet chef made it. Left in the hands of Denny’s I can only imagine the horror.
5. SwingCheese | September 16th, 2011 at 9:00 am
The idea of the mac and cheese burger doesn’t bother me. Probably because I’ve made a ground beef and macaroni and cheese mix before. I wouldn’t order it, but it seems logical.
Bravo to you for being brave enough to bust out the paints! I don’t go much beyond butcher paper taped to the floor and crayons. Which is probably why my child will never be the next Basquiat.
6. Life of a Doctor's Wife | September 16th, 2011 at 10:03 am
That photo of her is just so cute – she looks very “Wah? Why am I BLUE?”
I have not seen the mac n cheese burger commercial but the idea baffles me. Just logistically… how does the mac n cheese stay ON the burger? Eh. I suppose the food engineers at Denny’s have found a way to solidify it. Or pack it into the meat somehow. Ew.
7. carolyn | September 16th, 2011 at 11:37 am
Hunger Games reference FTW.
8. MELISSA | September 16th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I signed my 19-month-old up for a painting class at the park district for the 30 month and under set. The first activity? Giving the kids apples dipped in red paint to stamp on the paper. Do you know what every single kid did with that apple? They attempted to eat it. Apparently washable paint doesn’t taste that good because it was a room full of sobbing 2 year olds. AND the room had a carpet floor. AND there was only one sink. Ever try to get them 12 paint covered 2 year olds to wait line for the sink without touching anything?
I am not sure what I was thinking when I signed her up. I am REALLY not sure what the instructor was thinking teaching this class. She said she’s been doing this 10 years!
It’s a little comforting to know that this paint-myself stage is normal. Also, Sam can really rock the blue hair.
9. Gaby | September 16th, 2011 at 12:38 pm
Oh, that sandwich makes me ill every time it appears on my t.v. But then I think of the time Stephen Colbert showed a sandwich ad from Hardy’s, I believe, that sung the praises of their burger between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Burger + 2 grilled cheese sandwiches! Blech.
10. Christine | September 16th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Oh my GOD I love tee tiny blue Sam. I’m talking ridiculous amounts of love. Possibly because it brings me to some of the funniest moments of Arrested Development (blue handprints every where!) and shamefully also possible that I now have that absurdly annoying, “I’m Blue” song stuck in my head. Whatever, Love.
I have not seen a commercial for that sandwich, but I do fess to making a homemade sort of Hamburger helper, which is really nothing more than baked mac’n'cheese with a healthy amount of sauteed onions, a couple of chopped tomatoes, and some browned beef included. I would lie and say that I always serve it with a very healthy side salad, but feh.
11. Diane | September 16th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
We take the girls to CiCi’s Pizza sometimes, because it’s cheap and they like pizza and it’s not actually pizza but WHATEVER. One of the things they have there is macaroni and cheese pizza, and I don’t even know how they came up with this, but it looks just awful. Why would you put a cheese coated carb on top of cheese on top of a carb when neither of those things even REMOTELY goes together? It’s just, it’s disgusting, but they adore it. Putting it on a burger seems even worse, because it must squish out, right? Macaroni and cheese squishing out sounds like it makes a really really bad sound.
Keep in mind this is coming from someone who loves cold spaghetti sandwiches (yes, cold leftover spaghetti, two buttered slices of sandwich bread, sprinkle in some parmesan FROM THE CAN and slap those bad boys together. HEAVEN.)
12. jonniker | September 16th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
HAA, I don’t find macaroni and beef and cheese to be repulsive. It’s like a beefy macaroni meal, sans tomatoes. It’s EXACTLY what Diane said. The carb on top of a patty, wrapped in a carb.
And I have SEEN the mac & cheese pizza, Diane. SEEN IT.
I am going to PUKE MY FACE OFF at the spaghetti sandwich, however. I CANNOT. DIANE.
13. HollyLynne | September 16th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Pretty hair, indeed!
Rhys has been throwing me for a loop at morning daycare drop offs as well (he’s 16 months). 3-4 mornings in a row will be fine . . . I set him up in a high chair with some breakfast, toss his lunch bag in the fridge, put his backpack in his cubby, walk back to the high chair to find him puckered up for a goodbye kiss and waving bye bye. Every once in a while, though, he throws up his little arms and pleads “MAMA!!!” instead and it smashes my heart. I also come see him at lunchtime every day and the post lunch re-drop-off is a game of separation anxiety roulette as well.
BIG SIGH.
For the record, on bad drop off mornings, I wait on the stoop, out of sight until he stops crying. It never takes more than 30 seconds.
14. Doing My Best | September 16th, 2011 at 5:02 pm
I prefer letting them paint with pudding IN THE BATHTUB (mix up pudding, put child in the empty bathtub, give them some pudding in a bowl, give them a cookie sheet to “paint” on with fingers or a brush, and/or a piece of paper if they want, hose everything off when they’re done); it CAN (if you do not have an overly-creative devil-child) make for MUCH easier cleanup….and then I feel like SUCH a GOOD MOM for letting them do something so “creative” and “fun” =)!
15. EmilysHollow | September 16th, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Haaaaa ha ha. Mac and cheese burger. Is it made from Mac and Cheese LOAF? Please?
16. Olivia | September 19th, 2011 at 11:21 am
Definitely one of my favorite things about daycare is that they willingly do all of the messy activities and I can just relax at home with book reading and puzzles.
17. Barb | September 21st, 2011 at 12:32 am
Having never seen this Denny’s commercial, I had to look it up. Whatever you do, do not hit the nutritional information button. I think I had a small heart attack reading it. The fat! The sodium! The carbs! Oh, my.
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