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• 1. Lara  |  October 5th, 2011 at 11:00 pm

  You know I blame you entirely for Shiver and, well, I thought I could resist it, but I downloaded Linger today. DAMN IT I want to know what happens.

  What is very amusing about reading it on a Kindle (I think you said you borrowed your copy from the library) is you know those social highlight mark-ups you see? Where other people have highlighted passages they like? EVERY SONG is highlighted in Shiver. Every single one but nothing else and they have ALL been highlighted by HUNDREDS of people. HUNDREDS.

  I can’t help but imagine the teenagers highlighting this stuff (because honestly, who else would?) and I make that same face you are making.

• 2. Life of a Doctor's Wife  |  October 5th, 2011 at 11:23 pm

  I am so glad you are also talking about this topic because I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. It seems like pure random luck that I haven’t encountered a sociopath and, well, THIS is what’s good about being a freelancer: being able to hide from the sociopaths.

  Sam sounds adorable and charming as usual. And very much the antithesis of a sociopath.

  (I am secretly hoping your commenters will leave many comments about their own encounters with sociopaths so I can shudder from the safety of my living room and remind myself to never leave the house again ever.)

• 3. jonniker  |  October 5th, 2011 at 11:29 pm

  Oh I worked for and with a sociopath, and I am SO HOPING that my former colleague and now close friend (who comments here as Li — LI ARE YOU OUT THERE?) can vouch for just how crazy it was, because it was CRAZY. This person destroyed lives—LIVES! Relationships & careers were merely small-time collateral damage. It was, in a word, INSANE.

  BACK ME UP HERE, LI. It’s so funny because JUST the other day, I was emailing her and talking about how far we’d both come and how it was a marvel that we were so close, considering we met under the MOST AWFUL circumstances EVER.

  (Li has a five-week-old AND just went back to work, so I’m thinking my blog is NOT A PRIORITY FOR HER, and I can’t imagine why.)

• 4. Doing My Best  |  October 5th, 2011 at 11:44 pm

  Soooooooooo, do you have any tips for getting unentangled from a sociopath?

• 5. PinkieBling  |  October 5th, 2011 at 11:44 pm

  I think part of the reason I offered to lend you Forever was to motivate me to finish it. So cringe-inducing! Argh. At least I read it on the kindle – I heard the pb version uses red text?!?

  This is another of my multitude of fears about having kids. What if I bring the next Ted Bundy into the world? Although…I do think Bundy’s family was pretty fucked up. They think he was the product of incest, and he was raised thinking his mother was his sister. So, not the most normal environment, nor the most auspicious beginning.

  I do wonder how many of us will encounter a true sociopath in our lifetimes, in more than a trivial encounter. I’m looking forward to other commenters’ stories, too!

• 6. Swistle  |  October 6th, 2011 at 7:41 am

  I LAY AWAKE last night thinking about a few weirdnesses from one of my kids’ teachers, and thinking “OMG SOCIOPATH??” I think the most disturbing thing for me (other than the part where I evaluated myself, my husband, and each of my children carefully—”doesn’t set them aflame” HA HA O GOD) was hearing that the less “successful” (O GOD AGAIN) sociopaths tend to migrate to areas where they can control weaker individuals such as children, old people, and the mentally ill. That is…upsetting.

  Well, or actually I think the most disturbing part was realizing they could fake it. That we could get what seemed like GENUINE friend vibes from someone who was ACTUALLY a sociopath, and that we would only be able to see the true situation by evaluating the person’s behaviors and the effects those behaviors were having on others.

• 7. Swistle  |  October 6th, 2011 at 8:18 am

  Oh and, AND, that someone might be married to (or friends with, or a child of) a sociopath and STILL DESCRIBE THEM IN GLOWING TERMS, even though (or especially when) things are very bad indeed. Because they’ve been thoroughly convinced THEY’RE the one with something wrong with them. I had a good friend in college who was married to someone who was, if not an actual sociopath, an almighty insensitive inconsiderate mean verbally/psychologically-abusive JERK, but she used to talk about how AWESOME he was and how KIND and LOVING he was and how GOOD he was to her. Which confused me. But I should not have been confused, because I was right about him and her words were just camouflage. And apparently THAT TOO is normal around sociopaths: their victims will PRAISE THEM.

  People are weird. WEIRD. The way our minds work is kind of UPSETTING AND WEIRD.

• 8. Ris  |  October 6th, 2011 at 8:54 am

  I had a boss who, now that I think back on the situation, was definitely a sociopath. I remember pacing back and forth in my living room, hysterically upset and completely BAFFLED as to why she acted the way she did, and my boyfriend had to keep telling me “She’s not going to respond the way a regular human being would! You have to stop expecting her to be rational!” When I later realized she was, in fact, a sociopath, that made letting go of the whole situation muuuuch easier.

• 9. Life of a Doctor's Wife  |  October 6th, 2011 at 9:13 am

  It was bad enough when I was thinking of all these theoretical sociopaths walking around in the wild… but to realize, no, these are people’s BOSSES and kids’ TEACHERS and sick people’s CAREGIVERS… Horrifying. (Yes, I’m a little slow on the uptake here.)

  Jonna – how did you get out? How long did it take you to see this boss at face value?

• 10. Linnea  |  October 6th, 2011 at 9:25 am

  Yeah, my dad has the same kind of pancreatic cancer that Jobs had, and he’s 3 years into treatment. He’s doing really well, but this is the same cancer that killed Patrick Swayze, and that shook me up, and as much as I am a PC all the way girl, I love my iPod and totally appreciate everything that Steve did for computers and stuff…

  but DAMMIT do I hate this cancer

• 11. jonniker  |  October 6th, 2011 at 9:29 am

  LoaDW, well, I quit, but not after working there for five (!) long years. I was small potatoes for the first three or so years I worked there, so I didn’t have exposure to this woman until my fourth and fifth year. Even so, oh my God, this woman. THIS WOMAN.

  She still works in that particular industry, and I know people who, TO THIS DAY, will go to great lengths to avoid her seeing that they still have jobs, lest they become her target again. I’m not even kidding. They don’t want to put their names on documents she might see in public. IS INSANE.

  Yet? Still other people I know continue to work for her, year after year. They FOLLOW her to new ventures. Because she is charming and brilliant, and is also charming and brilliant enough to know that in order to succeed, she needs SOME people in her corner, so she’s very careful how she operates.

  Again. Is crazy.

  Oh Linnea, I’m so sorry for your stress, but I am so glad your dad is responding well. So hard. My sister had a pancreatic tumor earlier this year and it was very stressful. Much love to you.

• 12. Kristina  |  October 6th, 2011 at 10:41 am

  I am SO scared to read that book. I’ve been seeing the comments about it on Twitter and I’m terrified – I’m thinking that ignorance is bliss, you know?

  My 4 y/o LOVES “Got a Bunch of Bones” along with “Build me a Building” and the colors song and “Beautiful Sun” and OMFG I’m so sick of Bubble Guppies.

• 13. Kari  |  October 6th, 2011 at 12:15 pm

  You do not know me, but I was actually worried that something had happened to you to keep you from posting. God, I’m such a weirdo! Also, God bless anxiety medication. That is all.

• 14. Reading (and chickens)  |  October 6th, 2011 at 1:02 pm

  I’m too afraid to look at that book because yes, WHAT do you DO if your kid(s) is/are sociopaths? WHAT?

  And my three-year-old asked very politely today if he could go to preschool without pants. So.

• 15. Kerri Anne  |  October 6th, 2011 at 2:30 pm

  Sometimes (like right now) I want to leave eloquent and deep-thought-laden comments, but all I really have swimming to the forefront of my brain is: I like you and you make me laugh and now I’m going to buy some fancy red pens.

• 16. Li  |  October 6th, 2011 at 3:20 pm

  HERE I AM TO CONFIRM THE UNBELIEVABLE SOCIOPATHY OF THE SOCIOPATH FOR WHOM WE WORKED. Honestly, Ido not know how we are not more scarred and I can only tell you that my husband, who did not know me at the time we worked there, this i am MAKING STUFF UP when I tell him the most mundane things that don’t even phase me because they are NOTHING compared to the bad shit I can hardly bring myself to think about, much less talk about.

  In other news, I am glad you posted today, because despite having a five week old and being back at work, I do check multiple times a day!

• 17. Jessica  |  October 6th, 2011 at 4:02 pm

  It’s a pretty well known fact in our family that my son likes to be naked. Generally, it’s just the shorts and underwear that he discards post bathroom break, but I think that’s only because he’s not sure how to take his shirt off yet.

• 18. Jesabes  |  October 6th, 2011 at 8:08 pm

  I do that, too! I got really freaked out when Patrick Swayze died – he had pancreatic cancer, too, right?

  So now I apparently have to be worried about my kids’ teachers being sociopaths? Great.

• 19. EmilysHollow  |  October 6th, 2011 at 8:09 pm

  SOCIOPATHS! YES! And NOOOO.

  I have an Aunt who is one. The whole “pity plays?” OMG. She’s so good at it, it’s terrifying. And it’s not just that I don’t like this woman. She is a sociopath. Who was a nurse. Who had a boyfriend die mysteriously under her care. And…well, yeah. I honestly live with a bit of fear that she will track me down (she tries) (and likes to call my parents up and say things like “I just love you all so much. The kids are like my own. BTW, I BOUGHT A GUN.”

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• 21. Maria  |  October 7th, 2011 at 1:33 pm

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  I dated a sociopath. In college. I was engaged to him. I came thisclose to marrying him. And let me tell you, once you’ve dealt with one, you can see them coming a mile away. And you run, because as a normal, functioning human being, there is nothing else you can do. In fact, I’m currently posting as anonymous, so that if he did a search on my email address, no comment would come up. That is how far I would go to stay the hell off this guy’s radar.

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