Eat for Two
January 23rd, 2012
I feel as though I should be over this by now (haaaa, “over”), but nope, I still can’t get over the fact that I’m having two girls. Two girls! Two daughters! No matter what I’d be having, two children are bound to be packed with insanity, but there’s something about two daughters that’s both exhilarating and terrifying. Maybe it’s the teenage years (it so is) or the idea of having multiple females going through PMS at the same time. The expenses! The mean girls! (Please, don’t let my girls be mean girls. PLEASE.) The middle school years!
GIRLS. I am in so far over my head here. But I’m also so excited. GIRLS.
I have said before that I always thought I’d have boys, and I suppose that’s true only in the sense that it’s all I really saw modeled. My sister had two boys. My brother had two boys. Adam’s brother had two boys. Of course it would stand to reason that *I* would have two boys, because EVERYONE does.
The truth, though, is that deep down, I knew this was how it would be. If you’d asked me years ago, I would tell you that of course, I’m having daughters. I was a horror show of a teenage girl. I am not that girly (at all). There is nothing about me that indicates that I should be a good mother to little girls, but man, here I am. There I’ll be. In crazytown. But oh, I am so happy.
The upside is that I have zero plans to scrimp on my daughters’ clothing budgets. Well, Sam’s, anyway, because after all, it needs to LAST. RIGHT?
At any rate, I’ll tell you, I’m really done with being pregnant, and I feel like such a douche saying that because I wanted it — want it — so badly, but it turns out, even when you want something, it can still suck AND be terrifying and MANY OTHER NEGATIVE THINGS. I am thrilled every day, of course, but I am less than thrilled that I haven’t felt normally in MONTHS. I don’t remember what it’s like not to nurse low-grade nausea on a constant basis. Or to sneeze without peeing. I’m legitimately not sure if I peed every time I sneezed before I got pregnant. Was it always like this? I can’t even remember. I know my bladder lost some functionality post-birth, but was sneeze-peeing on the list of things that went south? Or am I doomed to a life of panty-liners? I DO NOT EVEN KNOW, YOU GUYS.
(I JUST SAID PANTY. HOLD ME.)
I was AlSO thinking, a la the sinus infection diet theory, that losing weight will be a CINCH after I have this baby, because my God, food isn’t even that appealing, RIGHT? What was I thinking? Why do people overeat? You can’t even eat that much in one sitting, and it doesn’t even TASTE good when you do! I have these absurd, ill-conceived fantasies of wearing teeny tiny jeans and T-shirts in extra small and nibbling daintily on healthy salads and roasted veggies within WEEKS of childbirth. And my hair will be magically grown-out and I will resemble Heidi Klum on her best day! Because, as it turns out, FOOD IS YUCKY, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE?
Riiiiight. Obviously I have blocked out the creepily delicious meal of hospital-prepared chicken marsala I devoured the night Sam was born. Y’all, I don’t even LIKE chicken marsala. And then, when I finished that, there was pizza Adam got me from the cafeteria. And the PANCAKES the next day. I felt like Jane Fonda in that pot scene in 9 to 5 as she sucks the pimiento out of a jar of green olives. “This is so wonderful. Everything tastes so WONDERFUL.”
You know why dieting is hard when I’m not pregnant? FOOD TASTES GOOD. Eating food is not a JOB, it is something to ENJOY. So perhaps I should lay off the smuggy pants attitude of “HOW HARD CAN DIETING BE?” as I watch people struggle with New Year’s resolutions to drop a few pounds. Because most people don’t have to stare down a bowl of Kashi GoLean, wondering whether eating it will make them feel better or worse? BETTER OR WORSE? No, they ENJOY that bowl of Kashi (or you know, whatever) and then think about having SECONDS. LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.
The saddest part of this whole thing is that weight loss is not the desired option, and even when I don’t want to eat, I HAVE to force myself to eat that damned bowl of Kashi GoLean. It’s like some sort of twisted version of hell! You can eat all you want, but it will taste terrible! OR! You have to eat a restricted diet and EVERYTHING WILL BE FABULOUS. You hear that, Satan? This is how you torture people. I assume you’ve got this in your arsenal already.
Wow, I am sorry for whining. What I am going to do now is snuggle my ass up to a body pillow and call this whole thing a DAY. But not before eating that bowl of cereal, natch.
Happy Tuesday!
*10,000 Maniacs
Entry Filed under: Pregnancy,Teh Second Baby
55 Comments Add your own
1. Blythe | January 24th, 2012 at 12:32 am
I always thought I would have a girl, and here I am, surrounded by dinosaur books and LEGOs and a little guy who stands up to pee. I think that’s the been the best surprise about having a kid for me – how it was totally different than I imagined it would be, and so much more fantastic.
Speaking of pee, I’m sorry to report that I am still living in a world of (ahem) pantiliners five years later, especially if I ever catch a chest cold. Cough suppressants save me on laundry, is what I’m saying. (HI INTERNET! NOW YOU KNOW!)
2. Jennie | January 24th, 2012 at 12:55 am
I threw up on the delivery table and not three hours later, I will never forget how delicious my chicken Caesar salad tasted, with a cupcake chaser. Might have been the most amazing meal of my life.
3. Steph | January 24th, 2012 at 1:29 am
I have no kids yet, but I’ve always had a feeling, maybe feeling is too strong, I would even say a GUESS, that I’ll have all boys. I think it’s because I grew up with two sisters, and we were/are inseparable, so I kind of feel like because I’d favor towards having girls, that I couldn’t possibly be that lucky. Not that I won’t be equally thrilled with a little boy, I just only KNOW girls. Things never, ever, go as I plan, so that’s why I’m assuming I will definitely have like, 20 boys or something!
4. crabby appleseed | January 24th, 2012 at 7:41 am
I have found postpartum cravings a thousand times more intense than pregnant cravings both times around, and MUCH harder to resist, because I am exhausted and emotional and overwhelmed and also kind of on house arrest, so why not eat myself sick?
Having two girls is awesome:) I don’t know anything else, but at 3 and almost 1, they are totally nuts about each other. Hanna Andersson and Jonny Boden are also really, really happy that I have two girls, as I have the exact same rationale about clothing.
5. Lori | January 24th, 2012 at 7:50 am
I’m 31 weeks along right now and I am so done, too. If there was a way I could fast forward the next 9 weeks, I’d do it. I’d feel guilty that I’d miss out on what’s going on with my other kids, but not too guilty. I’m the opposite of you, I find it impossible not to gain large amounts of weight when I’m pregnant — mostly due to eating incredibly large amounts of delicious food. I knew I was done with this pregnancy when I started telling my husband how much I’m looking forward to my postpartum diet plan.
6. Jesabes | January 24th, 2012 at 8:48 am
I also don’t remember how it was after one kid, but after two pantyliners are essential. In fact, I’ve been thinking I might need to switch to Poise liners instead of regular ones. Apparently my bladder is 80.
7. A. | January 24th, 2012 at 8:57 am
We’re hopefully not quite done having children and already my bladder is messed up. A cough, a sneeze, a hard laugh and I’m in trouble and that’s awful. For the rest of my life? Ugh. I’ll need that surgery that women over 40 get to fix that problem. But do your Kegels, right? Because that will fix EVERYTHING.
It’s comforting to read these comments because when I even sort of mention this pee problem to women I know IRL, they don’t seem to understand. Are they lying?
8. Ris | January 24th, 2012 at 9:01 am
I don’t have kids but I’ll probably get two boys, seeing as how I’m one of two girls. My poor dad is completely outnumbered (even the dog is a girl) but we sure had fun growing up. Now when we’re all together we get to share clothes and watch girly movies. It’s pretty much the best thing ever.
9. Claire | January 24th, 2012 at 9:18 am
It was only when you were pregnant with Sam that I learned that the 2nd trimester would not necessarily be the beautiful, wonderful experience that I’ve always heard it is supposed to be – where you eat pickles and ice cream until you can’t eat another bite because YUM-so-hungry-all- of-the-time-get-me-more-cheez-its-please.
I really feel awful that you’re going through this again with baby #2, but it was all totally worth it the first time, right? RIGHT? (See, i’m contemplating this whole have-a-baby thing and you’re kind of scaring me a little).
10. jonniker | January 24th, 2012 at 9:42 am
Oh Claire. It’s so worth it. I busted my ass to do this TWICE, are you kidding me? You give up a lot, sure, but honestly, you get a lot back. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. I promise. I wouldn’t.
11. Wendi | January 24th, 2012 at 10:15 am
Oh, I wish I’d had the ‘can’t eat’ thing when I was pregnant!! For me, the only thing that would stave off the nausea was eating something. If my stomach was empty, I would feel so, so sick. I gained weight from the minute I became pregnant, both times. I think weight gain was my biggest stressor, actually – I gained about 35-40 lbs with each pregnancy, and lost it all just fine afterwards, but I got grief from my doctor, my mother, coworkers, etc. and it agonized me.
Anyway–I think Kashi tastes like wood chips…maybe that’s why it’s hard for you to get it down?
Seriously though, nausea is no fun and I hope you get to love food again soon!
12. Elsha | January 24th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Oh yes so many things I would like to remember- is it possible for me to cough without peeing my pants? I feel like it used to be. Will I ever be able to get up a flight of stairs again without having to stop at the top and catch my breath for 10 minutes? Will I ever, EVER remember what it feels like to be rested and not tired? (Unfortunately, I don’t think that one’s gonna happen for another year or so. Sad.) And logically I know that when I’m not pregnant I don’t get heartburn, yet I can’t remember what it’s like not to eat about 30 tums a day.
13. mjb | January 24th, 2012 at 10:36 am
I forced myself to eat a bowl of cereal before my shower this morning because the rule has been that if I eat first thing, everything goes much smoother. So of course I puked it up after my shower. Brushing my teeth gets me every time. I have to go to the dentist Friday, and it’s not going to be pretty.
14. SwingCheese | January 24th, 2012 at 11:10 am
Oh, you’re bringing back so many pregnant memories!! The nausea! The peeing! Every time I got sick (and before i got a flu shot, I had a constant chest cold, for like, a month to 6 weeks), I got a cough, and I would pee. Just a little, but every! damn! time! And it has gone away, at least for me. I’m no longer pregnant, and I no longer pee when I laugh. Or sneeze. And most of the time, I can pull off coughing without peeing. Most of the time. So I guess what I’m saying is, it will get better? Hopefully!
15. mar | January 24th, 2012 at 11:10 am
I lost 8-9lbs first trimester (didn’t get past that point, so don’t know if I would’ve gone to either extreme w/ eating or not). I just remember being so disturbingly nauseated and thinking for ages on what might taste good. Then when I finally grasped that spaghetti sounded okay, by the time I left work, that craving was gone and everything sounded ugh again. There were very few windows where anything tasted acceptable.
16. Josefina | January 24th, 2012 at 11:13 am
Philly Cheesecake “Snack” Bars. Or as I called them postpartum, “A Meal” . A whole box is a meal. (Gross.) (But true.) (I’m not sure if I’m talking about my eating habits or the word “meal.”)
17. Maya | January 24th, 2012 at 2:03 pm
I can’t believe my mom had THREE of us!
Girls are the best! (other than boys
18. Blythe | January 24th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
A. -
They are totally lying.
19. A. | January 24th, 2012 at 3:08 pm
Thanks Blythe – I thought so.
20. HereWeGoAJen | January 24th, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Oh, my goodness, that first meal was so delicious. I don’t even remember what it was, but it was so good.
BUY ALL THE CLOTHES.
21. Jessica | January 24th, 2012 at 6:19 pm
I felt the same way when I got pregnant this time around. 1st trimester was horrible and I could not imagine eating and enjoying it ever again. Then around 15 weeks, things got better and I feel normal again, except for the huge belly. I had a lot of anxiety and stress about money and whatnot the first time we got pregnant and it’s nice to not be so stressed this time.
Also, I have totally peed my pants when I sneezed, but I’m still lax when it comes to kegels.
The BEST chicken strips I ever had were brought to me less than an hour after my son was born. And the omelet the next morning was equally amazing.
22. Sarah | January 24th, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Oh my yes. Mind you, I am on baby number four here, and an unexpected baby at that, but this time around I have felt about ZERO magic from the pregnancy experience. Just crabbiness and resentment about how unlike myself I feel, just like a tired, sick, petulant infant who can only think of my immediate bodily needs to gag or sleep or eat or, oh wait, no, gag again. I get heartburn, I get Braxton-Hicks from about the minute I hit the second trimester, I get awful acne that won’t be fixed or hidden… So. Grumpy. And I can’t for sure feel the baby move yet, so that’s worrying me. It’s the one thing that I do enjoy, for a few months, anyways, so come on baby, we’re knocking on sixteen weeks here, start kicking!
Anyways, I shouldn’t whine so much, ’cause at least for me the nausea has mostly abated unless I’m hungry. This is a vast improvement. I can smell coffee without dry heaving. Win!
Also, I know what you mean about thinking food will always seem repugnant, because I went through that train of thought last time and then an HOUR after I delivered my son, I was ordering a pizza and I can still remember how amazing it tasted. Also the celebratory dinner the hospital brought us before we left, complete with fudge cake. I was in heaven, after months of being either nauseous or so large that I never had room to feel hungry. So. Start planning now for all the wonderful things you want Adam/friends/relatives to make and bring you to eat after delivery! Screw calories. You’re making up for nine damn months of eating cardboard.
23. JudithNYC | January 24th, 2012 at 8:17 pm
I am one of the women who do not sneeze and leak pee, even at the ripe old age of 62. Might have to do with the fact that I had a c-section, but honestly I don’t know.
Also, I don’t think it’s weird to not like pregnancy. I envy but also puzzled by those women who love being pregnant. I hated every minute of my pregnancy. So much that I never repeated it. The only thing that I liked about it is that I knew I was getting a baby at the end (which turned out to be TWO!)
And, Jonniker, I think you will enjoy food again. LOL I had morning sickness until a few day after I had my twins. Except it was not morning sickness, it was all day hyperemesis gravida. After I started nursing I went into a feeding frenzy for about two months, then it kind of abated and I started eating normally.
24. Kate | January 24th, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Though I wish the process were easier for you, I am so, so excited for you all, and especially for Sam. My baby sister is 3 (almost 4) years younger than I am, and while we played and fought in equal measure as kids, she has been among my favorite people in the world since the day I left for college. We now live 15 minutes apart and I dread the day she will no longer be just down the road. Sisters, you know? Can’t live with ‘em, can’t even bear the thought of how much less full life would be without ‘em.
25. Anne | January 25th, 2012 at 8:41 am
Are you still puking, too, or just still feeling crappy? I’ve only thrown up half a dozen times (though the dry-heaving was at one point an hourly occurance, it is now down to three times a day tops), but I do share in the horror that food just doesn’t taste good. I have no desire to eat whatsoever. I am not a good self-force-feeder, either, as I’m down about six pounds at this point. The hell? I feel like I do nothing but eat and eat, I butter everything just to throw in extra calories, and the scale continues to tick slowly downwards. So bizarre.
26. jonniker | January 25th, 2012 at 9:09 am
Anne, I barf once every couple of days, and only at night. It was all day, every day, then just at night, and now only a couple of times a week at night. It’s MUCH easier, though I think if you asked a normal person if barfing every few days was easy, they’d laugh in your face, RIGHT?
27. Jen | January 25th, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I only struggled with food issues at the beginning of my pregnancies, thank GOD. But even so, DAMN if that first meal after giving birth isn’t the BEST. FOOD. EVER. EATEN. EVER. I could have eaten for days.
28. Jen | January 26th, 2012 at 9:39 pm
Here I am in the two girls camp with you, and I have to say I love it so far. Clothes are cuter, there is no pee flying everywhere in our bathroom, and I don’t even mind the princess stuff that much anymore. I will look forward to commiserating with you when they are teenagers though, because GOD HELP US.
Emerson’s birth was followed by a stale bagel and one of those little cups of apple juice, and even that tasted so darn GOOD. I cannot imagine what would have happened if they had brought me something like chicken marsala. I don’t even like mushrooms but I probably would have hoovered it.
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