Babys

February 16th, 2012

If you were looking for maternity yoga pants anywhere in the greater Boston area, be warned, I HAVE BOUGHT THEM ALL. For some reason it has ONLY JUST DAWNED ON ME, almost 26 weeks into this pregnancy, that the time of yoga pants outside of the home has come. I’ve never done this. Despite looking slovenly on hundreds of thousands of occasions, I have always had this feeling that leaving the house in yoga pants was verboten, akin to wearing sweatpants. I assumed I didn’t have the figure for them anyway!

SO MANY ASSUMPTIONS, DISPROVED. Also? I don’t care. We’ve established that pregnancy is a generally disgusting state of being for me, and since we reached a new low this week — that of angular cheilitis — and I’m smearing Lotrimin on my lips three times a day, let’s be real here. Should I be concerned about yoga pants? Should a person who regularly pees in a bladder protection garment, barfs all over town and smears JOCK ITCH cream on her FACE really be concerned about yoga pants in public? REALLY?

Besides, I’d forgotten that one of the small gifts of pregnancy — the only gift, really — is that once your belly eclipses your boobs, every single OTHER part of you looks delightfully tiny. For the first time in my life, I have an ass the size of an elf! A very large, elephantine elf, but compared to my belly, IT IS AN ELF’S BEHIND.

(Leave me to my illusions, friends.)

These are the things that make me wonder about people who claim to love pregnancy. If you love pregnancy, you have to tell me: Do these things just not HAPPEN to you? Do you not barf for nine months, pee through your pants and get YEAST INFECTIONS ON YOUR FACE? Or are you just made of tougher stuff than me?

Separately, and despite all of this horror, I often forget that I’m pregnant. I guess I’m just used to living this way, but sometimes I glance in the mirror and wonder WHEN my midsection got so FAT and my God, was I not paying any ATTENTION TO WHAT I EAT? Then I remember that oh, right, there’s a person in there (I HAVE TWO VAGINAS) and also, I barely eat, so obviously, I am pregnant.

Anyway, I have a question for you. What do you do for your kids’ birthdays? Sam’s birthday is March 7 6 (OMG, I got my OWN CHILD’S birthday wrong the first time), and we’ve only ever had a family party for Sam, and cupcakes for her little playgroup, but most of her friends have had capital-P Parties, with other kids and sometimes at outside locations. I don’t know, you guys, this is so hard for me because I just don’t see myself doing it, but then of course I FEEL GUILTY. And I don’t judge anyone who DOES fun/big parties for their littles at ALL — we love going to them — but I am generally a lazy mom, and also, she’s GOING TO BE THREE. Is she going to remember this? Or care? PROBABLY NOT.

(Small irony in this statement is that one of my first memories is of my third birthday party, held at — wait for it — Weiner King. Yes, Weiner King.)

So, ugh. I just don’t want to do it because it’s just not my personality to do so, but then I feel bad NOT doing it, like I’m missing my opportunity for her to have a good time, and everyone ELSE is doing it, but them I’m like SHE IS THREE, GET A GRIP, MY GOD.

At any rate, it’s time for my nightly salad of hummus, lettuce and cabbage with a drizzle of vinegar and some feta. Adam LOVES when I eat it in bed, as you can imagine.

Happy weekend!

*Bon Iver. I’m meh on the guy, but I try. Also, get it? Kind of like babies? BUT NOT AT ALL, REALLY.

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Entry Filed under: Beeber McSteebs,Pregnancy

85 Comments Add your own

  • 1. agirlandaboy  |  February 16th, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    I wouldn’t say I’m loving this pregnancy, but I certainly don’t mind it, and part of that is because (a) I don’t pee and barf all over and (b) I know enough people who DO that I find it hard to complain about the little things that bother me. Perspective and all that.

    Birthday parties–I also vividly remember my third birthday party, and that’s part of why I knew we needed to have a good one this year. We also are kind of Party People who know lots of other Party People, so really, a kid who’s having a birthday is more of an excuse than anything. That said, if my kid hated parties or crowds or whatever, we’d definitely scale it down so it was fun for him, since that’s kind of the point. And THAT said, thank god my kid is a crazy party animal because I like being able to channel my crafting tourettes into something I can pretend is practical.

  • 2. Jesabes  |  February 16th, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    I came over to say we’re not having a big party when Meg turns three in May, but Leah just made me all second guess-ey. I *was* planning on having a rockin’ family party, but no friends. For the family party I’m having a tea party and flat-out copying as much of Kelle Hampton as I can. (So…maybe half? It definitely won’t be in the WOODS.)

    As far as pregnancy, the one thing I felt cheated about was the fact I thought the rest of my body never ended up looking small. I retain water like crazy during pregnancy and look like a giant, puffy balloon. My ass was not elfin.

  • 3. Michelle  |  February 16th, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    I hated being pregnant each and every time, for different reasons each time. #1 I had horrible (HORRIBLE) acne all over my face, neck, chest and back. It was awful and I still have scars. #2 I had tendonitis and back pain and was limping around all over, while caring for an almost 3 year old, and with #3 (surprise) I had to have super painful weekly shots in the rear end to prevent preterm labor because the other two came too early, while caring for a preschooler and toddler. Oh, and skin tags, barfing and general yuckiness. So, yeah. Pregnancy is no fun. But the people I know who loved being pregnant? Nothing bad or weird ever happened to them. They just felt fine the whole time. Hang in there – you get a prize at the end!

  • 4. Josefina  |  February 16th, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Hmm. I leave the house in yoga pants all the time. However, where I live they are considered dress up clothes and bedroom slippers are perfectly appropriate footwear for an outing, so I think there must just be different standards where you are. Anyway, enjoy! It feels good, right?

    Hate throwing biggish birthday parties. I didn’t bother until my kids were in kindergarten and I got kind of guilted into it because the other kids were having them. A couple years later I regretted my decision to ever start (SUCH A PAAAAIN) and said we were doing certain milestone years only. I don’t know what those years are yet, by the way. NOT THIS YEAR. That’s for darned sure. We do a family thing, though.

  • 5. craftyashley  |  February 17th, 2012 at 12:09 am

    So now I will go hang my head for all the public-yoga-pant-wearing I have been doing… and will probably continue to do.

  • 6. Meghan  |  February 17th, 2012 at 12:26 am

    I have been obsessing over the birthday thing because Catherine turns 3 in April and I feel like we need to have a “real” party, but our place is too small to host and the weather in April too unreliable for something outside. So my idea is that the Y where she goes to daycare has a thing where you can rent out the gym for two hours and they provide a craft and I think decorations. The best part being that i wouldn’t have to clean up, and 2 hours sounds like a good time limit for a 3-year-old’s party. But then I wonder if we should do a separate family thing because hanging out with a bunch of 3-year-olds is not everyone’s cup o’ tea. Hell, it is hardly mine.

  • 7. Veronica  |  February 17th, 2012 at 1:00 am

    Pregnancy is awful. So far the only redeeming feature I’ve found in any of mine is the erotic dreams. That bit is okay.

  • 8. Amy K  |  February 17th, 2012 at 1:42 am

    I mostly enjoyed being pregnant, but I never puked or peed my pants (although if I ever decide to try it a second time, I’m sure I’ll be peeing my pants constantly). The worst thing I had to deal with was my pelvis popping out of alignment. You poor women with the nine months of puking deserve giant trophies.

  • 9. saly  |  February 17th, 2012 at 6:53 am

    I had 2 really shitty pregnancies- the first, I had a constant tickle in my throat that caused me to cough at random. As I got bigger, the coughing fits caused me to barf. Like, I would be sitting in a restaurant and suddenly spew chunks in to my hands. Glamour, right there. My 3rd, I had reflux and sciatica I from about 10 weeks on. With my second, I forgot I was pregnant all the time, hardly gained any weight and was just my usual self. I attribute this to the fact that my oldest was only 9 months old at the time. I’d have probably gone crazy if I had issues on top of THAT. (or, I was too busy with him to notice I was miserable).

    As for parties, I love big family parties, but we didn’t start with the friend parties until age 5. And even then, they are low key.

  • 10. Swistle  |  February 17th, 2012 at 7:30 am

    Pregnancy can definitely be pretty sucky. I only like a few parts of it. I remember when my first child was born, I lay in recovery thinking joyously not “My baby is here!” but rather “It’s OVER! I’m not PREGNANT anymore!”

    We let the kids have a big friends/location party at age 10. The other years, we have cake and presents at home, and my parents come over if they’re available.

  • 11. jonniker  |  February 17th, 2012 at 7:39 am

    No! No yoga pant judging on OTHER people!!! I always assumed that *I* would look bad, not OTHER people.

  • 12. Chris  |  February 17th, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I always felt guilty when pregnant because I felt/looked so great. If I had started earlier, I may have had more children. I felt bad because I knew women who had truly awful experiences being pregnant and they would ask if I was sick and I would say “Er, once? In the car? I felt a little nauseous.” and I didn’t want them to hate me.

    I am sorry you are having such a rough go of it. It will be so great when you get that second little girl.

  • 13. Meaghan  |  February 17th, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I am not a big party person. My daughter’s birthday is 4 days after Christmas and everyone is tuckered out by the holidays, the weather is usually crappy and my house is small. I didn’t feel like renting a place for a third birthday, either. This year Disney on Ice was in town the first couple of weeks of January and it was all focused on Tangled. Rapunzel is her princess of choice (mostly because it’s the only princess movie she’s seen), so we bought tickets to that, invited a friend and her mom and called it a success. Really, it was fantastic and I think I will continue to do something similar. In future years, I think Barnes & Noble has some sort of party program, as well as a craft store around here – so I’ll do something then, but I would like to keep birthday celebrations to smaller, event-based things.

  • 14. Carla Hinkle  |  February 17th, 2012 at 8:33 am

    When I was a kid I only had big parties with friends every few years. I do have very fond and distinct memories of those parties, though.

    With our own kids we have become Party People. Both girls have had big parties with lots of family AND friends every single year. I think it has become our default because we are a (relatively unobservant) interfaith family, but birthdays are a great common point so everyone can really get into it.

    That said Sami – he of the December 27 birthday! – has only had family parties in his two years. Next year when he’s in preschool and has friends I assume I’m going to have to figure out something.

  • 15. Kristin H  |  February 17th, 2012 at 8:38 am

    I get my son’s birthday wrong all the time. I’m glad I’m not alone in this.

    I do throw a party for my kids, and usually it’s their friends and our family. But my daughter’s b-day is usually on Memorial Day weekend and my son’s is Labor Day weekend, and it ends up being this huge shebang with my husband trimming bushes like a mad man and me trying to coordinate a cookout with the party and kids games and cake and presents and OH MY GOD IT IS TERRIBLE. It’s so stressful, and I’ve decided I’m not going to do it that way any longer. It’s either a little kids party, the end, or it’s a small family get together. See, by keeping it small, you haven’t set yourself up for disappointment later on. That, my friend, is very wise.

    Unrelated: I had a dream last night that you gave birth to a tiny little baby Yoda and named her Linda Jean. I am not even kidding about this.

  • 16. Katie  |  February 17th, 2012 at 9:21 am

    I am a pregnancy-lover over here. While I did have some nausea with both my pregnancies, it was over by 12 weeks, no barfing, no peeing and generally, I just felt fine. Go ahead and hate me. I loved feeling like I could eat ANYTHING I wanted and as much of it as I wanted and no one batted an eye. I am sad I will never be pregnant again, even though I am not really sad I will never have a newborn again.

    As for the party, my daughter turns 3 tomorrow and we are having a big-ish party, but just at our (tiny!) house. She is in daycare and the kids in her class have been inviting everyone to their parties, so I felt obligated. No planned activities, just ice cream sundaes and cake and playing with our toys and beer for the parents. My daughter is not really into sharing, so it could get ugly.

  • 17. A.  |  February 17th, 2012 at 9:27 am

    I had a relatively easy pregnancy and I still didn’t particularly enjoy myself, so if I had suffered the symptoms you do? Well, God bless you Jonna, you’re amazing.

    I don’t think you’re a lazy mom (or should feel guilty) for not wanting to throw a Big Party. For me, if a party is more than some chips and dip or pizza and balloons, then I’m out. It’s just too much. We had a bigger family birthday party for our boy’s 1st birthday (stressful), but this year, just the grandparents, the end.

  • 18. HereWeGoAJen  |  February 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am

    After I get past the first trimester of pregnancy, I am one of those people who is annoying to other pregnant people because I feel just fine. STOP ASKING ME HOW I AM FEELING, OKAY? I sleep fine, I eat fine, my back actually felt better while I was pregnant than normally, etc. I did get some wicked heartburn with Elizabeth and I stayed pregnant two weeks longer than everyone else, but really not that much to complain about. During the first trimester, I feel low level awful and have the crushing exhaustion. It’s really a shame that the first trimester is the one I’ve done repeatedly.

    For birthday parties, we invite the same people over that we do for a regular big playdate. But I suspect that not everyone regularly invites dozens of people over like I do. But I kind of just do a playdate with cake. I did a little more with theme and decorations this year, but I blame Pinterest for that, and I totally knew at the time that I was doing it for my own amusement and Elizabeth wouldn’t care at all. I don’t hire venues or ponies or anything. Oh, also I simplify it by having it during the week, so it is the same moms and kids we always play with. Next year we might have to do an afternoon one because a lot of Elizabeth’s friends will be starting PreK.

  • 19. Olivia  |  February 17th, 2012 at 9:42 am

    I have relatively easy pregnancies. No barfing, no jock itch, no major medical problems, and yet I do not love being pregnant. It’s not the worst, but I still get heart burn, flatulence, achy back, round ligament pain and carpal tunnel. That last one bugs the heck out of me. Why does my wrist hurt and my hand go numb when I’m pregnant? What kind of sci fi bullshit is this?

  • 20. Sarah  |  February 17th, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I always wonder if I’m missing out on some amazing secret other women know, or if I’m a bigger wuss about stuff, or WHAT, because there’s generally only been a month or so of each pregnancy that I could say I was “enjoying” and even then I just meant “I feel kinda-sorta normal most of the time,” not, “I am glowing with the otherwordly magic of creating a new life!” First one was the best in terms of mood, but I definitely had the least stress in my life then.
    That second trimester part is definitely the BEST, but I still don’t feel “healthy” and “wonderful” and “full of energy” like other people tell me they do. I just feel better than I did the first three months and I’m not contracting non-stop yet and not so huge that everything is a chore. And I’m not barfing.
    So yeah. Birth and baby is the big prize for me. And after four (well technically SEVEN) pregnancies, I conclude that I am not doing it wrong or anything, but that my body just dislikes pregnancy (as evidenced by the miscarriages and low hormone levels and preterm labor, I suppose.) I think women who enjoy it just happen to get lucky, for the most part.

  • 21. tehamy  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:18 am

    Ok, I have to admit it, I LOVE the second and third trimesters. I have horrendous 1st trimesters full of terrible nausea, weight loss and lots and lots of bleeding. It’s terribly stressful and if I’m being completely honest, the bleeding and stress if part of the reason we won’t have a third child. I can’t do it again. Of course, once I get past that stage, I adore pregnancy. Probably because it’s generally smooth sailing from there.

    As far as parties go, we have never had really invited any of the boys’ friends to their parties. We do family and our close friends. This year we will have a combine 4th birthday and 2nd birthday party (their birthdays are 9 days apart) and I’m tossing around the idea of a few friends.

  • 22. Ris  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:48 am

    When I was growing up, we only did big parties for certain birthdays (5, 10, 13, I think) and the other times we had cake at home with the family. It was just fine by me-cake! presents! everyone paying attention to me!-so I don’t feel I was deprived or anything.

  • 23. melaniek  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:50 am

    I hated pregnancy and I really didn’t have many issues, aside from being huge and grumpy…. with one pregnancy I had like 8 weeks of pinched nerves but other than that delight I was pretty lucky… I just hated not having control over my body.

    As for the kids parties, I still only do family parties and mine are 6 and 3 (soon to be 7 and 4) and honestly my kids have never cared… we go to everyone else’s parties but they never ask why theirs are different…. so until that day I am going with it!

  • 24. kakaty  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:52 am

    I loved my first pregnancy, the 2nd wasn’t as nice but I still enjoyed it. Except for the month I had a horrible chest cold and l peed myself everytime I coughed. Fun times.

    But I’m really here to say – screw the big party. I’m a firm “family party” person until at least age 5, and even then not every year. My daughter had her 1st friend party for her 5th and was old enough to 1)help, 2) enjoy it and, 3) thank everyone who came. Wait until she’s five.

  • 25. M  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I have realized there really women who have fantastic pregnancies. For example, no puking, heightened libido (so they tell me, who knew!), fawning husbands, tiny bellies, more luxurious locks, etcetera. Sigh. When I’m pregnant people start asking me if I’m due any minute with twins starting around 7 months. Or just “Oh my god, you’re enormous!” Let’s just say my vast belly is the least of my pregnancy problems. Why is pregnancy so long! 4 months I could handle, but 9?

    DO NOT DO THE BIG PARTY! I don’t think it’s worth it, definitely not at age 3. When my first turned 4 he asked for one. So I did. And will never do that again. (Sorry younger sib’s!). Everyone appeared to have a great time. But I nearly had a nervous break down. My husband and I had had one of the worst fights ever the morning before, over the party. I am so excited to go back to low-scale celebrations where I can actually visit with the guests rather than running around like a deranged maitre d’ and don’t have to write a bazillion thank you notes for the new pile of kid stuff we have unfortunately received. Cannot even imagine if I had been prego to boot. Ugh.

  • 26. Jess  |  February 17th, 2012 at 11:06 am

    I really and legitimately did not have any of those things during my pregnancy, other than a few weeks of barfing before I got my lap-band un-filled. I didn’t have ANY of the other terrible things you hear about. I hear that each pregnancy is worse than the previous, though, so next time around I will not be expecting any such luck.

    We had a capital-P Party for Callum’s first birthday (winter ONEderland) but I don’t think we’ll do such a thing again for several years at a minimum. This year’s party was for me, not him. Next year, maybe just family and a couple friends with toddlers? Nothing beyond that.

  • 27. Angela  |  February 17th, 2012 at 11:42 am

    I didn’t mind being pregnant at all, that I remember at least, but it was 5 years ago, and my memory has probably undergone the necessary erasing that allows women to have more than one child. :-)

    As for birthday parties, we had family parties up until age 4. We lived out of town, so we would come home to see our families and celebrate. We also had season football tickets, so we would coordinate my son’s party for a weekend when we would be in town for a game anyway. Poor kid had to play second fiddle to college football! Now we live back in our hometown, and he has lots of friends from daycare, we do a friend party one day and a family party the next. His 4th birthday was at a bounce house place, and it was fabulous. His 5th birthday party was a joint party with his best friend (they are 10 days apart, so it worked out great) at a gymnastics/swim gym, and it was a bit hectic since we invited the whole class to come. But, we asked that no one bring gifts, and only 1 person did, so it was a success!

  • 28. Halyn  |  February 17th, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    I liked pregnancy. Of course, I was only 19ish for the first one, and 24 for the second, and I think it’s easier on a youthful body. I had mild nausea when my stomach was empty, and a couple of foods were nausea triggers (Soba noodles, which I still cannot be around, and crab legs, which I got over. Bad thing was, I worked in a restaurant that featured Friday Night All You Can Eat Snow Crab. It really sucked to lose Friday night tips, but I just couldn’t hang.) I didn’t have the sneeze when you pee thing til close to the end, and in my second pregnancy, I had sciatica near the end.

    I really only disliked pregnancy for the last six weeks or so, because when one is five feet, one inch tall, there is no room for all the abdominal cavity stuff you need, PLUS six pounds of infant. I had constant heartburn, couldn’t take a full breath, and instead of a cute basketball belly, I simply increased in circumference until I couldn’t walk through a store without knocking things off the shelf.
    But all of that is pretty minor stuff, so yeah, I got off really lucky with pregnancy. Severe morning sickness, or bad sciatica or really anything that resulted in MONTHS of discomfort rather than weeks would have made my first pregnancy my last.

    For a three year old’s birthday party, I would be hesitant to set a big party precedent this early–do it now, and they will expect it later….you’ll have a young baby at the next birthday, and may not have the time/energy to put on a party. For me, school age is when I started doing more than family stuff for birthdays.

  • 29. Danell  |  February 17th, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I didn’t barf one single time during either pregnancy and yet I hated being pregnant more than anyone I have ever met. Hated. It. I felt…I don’t know, I think claustrophobic is e best way I can describe it. Claustrophobic from the inside out? Yet that didn’t stop me from being willing to do it twice.

    And then my second one was basically the same experience as you and Sam. The Screaming. The Sleep Deprivation. Oh god. No question we are done at two kids. I have the deepest admiration for you being able to go for a second after being a Pregnancy Nonenjoyer and Sam being a cryer/non sleeper. You rock. And I hope you get a sleeper the second go round…just so you get to experience that, too!

  • 30. Angela  |  February 17th, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    We did a “real” birthday party for the first time for R’s third birthday. We don’t have local family so the fa
    Ily party is kind of not a possibility. My ideal would be to reserve a spot at a park and let the kids run around and exhaust themselves, but since her birthday is in December, that ain’t happening. So we rented one of those kids’ gym places. Was awesome cause they did all the work and cleanup. We just brought snacks. The kids had a good time and the parents got a chance to chat. I’d probably do it again.

  • 31. PinkieBling  |  February 17th, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    No kids yet, but I think I would do a bash at the 1st birthday. Really it would be a giant celebration for ME for having survived pregnancy and an entire year of keeping a kid alive. Then I would probably wait until 5 for another all-out party. That’s the first party of mine that I remember, and it was awesome.

    Favorite line: I HAVE TWO VAGINAS! Also, it’s been a long time since I’ve run across the words JOCK ITCH, so I had to giggle quite a bit about that one.

  • 32. Melissa  |  February 17th, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    I love being pregnant. Even when I was sick with my daughter for 12-ish weeks, I love it. LOVE IT. I feel like I’m at my best while pregnant. Not sure why, but I do. My blood pressure goes down, I only gain a few pounds (I’m overweight, so…), my cholesterol does fabulous things. If I can stay pregnant (3 crappy-ass losses), I DO pregnant fantastically.

    My son will be 9 this year, and we are JUST now talking about having a other-than-your-family-birthday Party. We’ll see. I remain skeptical.

  • 33. EmilysHollow  |  February 17th, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    I had moments of loving pregnancy. But the puking, oh, yeah. The entire time. UGH. No peeing, though, which I was so terrified of. Farting loudly? Yes, in public places. That was rad.

    X will be 2 this summer, and I’m sorta meh about parties. I mean, when he’s older, sure, whatever, you and your dude friends can light your farts on fire in the basement whatever I don’t care just let me drink in peace. But he’s a baby still. So, I don’t care. I may go to a park? Let people come if they want to? But not, like, PLAN anything. Yay for summer birthdays, though, because minimum effort required here.

  • 34. Elsha  |  February 17th, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Jonna, I am here to tell you that people who love pregnancy? Do NOT go through what you go through. I LOVED being pregnant with Kalena and Will. I had hardly any nausea, and really not much discomfort at all. (Okay, I had kidney stones with Kalena, but that’s gonna suck no matter what, so I didn’t blame the pregnancy.) Anyway. This time? It has been one thing after another and I am so NOT loving it. And I haven’t had it nearly as bad as you!

    As for birthday parties, we still haven’t thrown a real one for Kalena. I’m not a big party person, and for now I’m planning to have family only parties until she requests a birthday party with friends. (Feels a little like cheating, but WHATEVER.)

  • 35. Deb  |  February 17th, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    I have a No Big Parties policy, because I can only see that if I start now, I will be contantly trying to outdo myself for the next hundred years, and I frankly don’t have the energy for that. Family only, small cake, a few pressies.

    My husband’s cousin asked me once when I was pregnant with my second child if didn’t I have SO MUCH ENERY during pregnancy! Why, she baked all day and her house was spotless! I attributed this to her being 25 as opposed to my 35, and heroically restrained myself from punching her in the throat.

  • 36. Jessica  |  February 17th, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    I haven’t had particularly hard pregnancies, certainly nothing like what you’ve dealt with, but I can’t say that I love it. Before I had a kid, I thought I would be one of those women that love it, and I’m not. I don’t feel particularly bonded to my babies until they are born, either. I feel loads better now in the 2nd trimester, but the 1st was no picnic and I don’t see the 3rd being easy!

    Two vaginas, FUNNY!

    My son turned three last year and we just had people over for a cook out with cake. Invited friends and family and hung out, nothing special. I don’t think Sam will feel sad or resentful later if you don’t go all out for her 3rd.

  • 37. Mrs. Wilson  |  February 17th, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I do not like being pregnant. At all. I do not understand those who do. I mean, I *LOVE* the end result, but the process? Not a fan.

    I also don’t like birthday parties. I didn’t throw one for my eldest until she was in Grade One. I have not yet thrown one for my four-year-old. They’ve both been completely happy with family parties. Those who do throw elaborate parties for small children? I admire them. They are better parents than I am.

  • 38. Erica  |  February 17th, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    Until gestational diabetes, the only problem I had through two pregnancies was lower back pain if I tried to bend over too much. But I really did feel fine otherwise. And I felt FINE with the GD, it was just a hovering threat that kept me away from pancakes.

    I’m not sure I even COULD go to the grocery store in anything other than yoga pants.

  • 39. velocibadgergirl  |  February 18th, 2012 at 2:17 am

    I loved pregnancy, I’ll admit it. But I was obscenely lucky and didn’t pee myself ever and only threw up twice. I feel a bit guilty about it, even now. I did get ridonkulously huge, though, and experienced the elf ass phenomenon myself.

    For parties, the standard in my family is to have all the aunts and cousins over for cake and presents. We also invite our close grownup friends and the kid’s closest playdate pals. It ends up being a pretty big crowd. When I was a kid, I think my mom started doing friends from school parties when I was around eight…we probably won’t wait that long. I figure when he starts school and his little classmates start inviting him to parties, we may end up reciprocating. We’ll see…he sure gets good presents from his aunties.

  • 40. Sam  |  February 18th, 2012 at 3:47 am

    Mine turned three last month, and we all felt like dried shit. So I told him that we were having a party. This consisted of:

    Dinner out with my mom (casual Mexican place)
    A homemade cake
    A few balloons at home
    A single Happy Bday banner (from last year)
    A few presents

    We sang happy birthday, ate cake, opened presents. He thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I spent the following day throwing up and shitting, sometimes both at once. (My sickness was unrelated and did nothing to ruin his delight at PARTY!! with my mother and our nuclear-ish family.) My assvice is: whatever you do, no matter how small, will delight her. Just make sure to talk it up and call it a party.

  • 41. Linnea  |  February 18th, 2012 at 9:43 am

    I had a very long and way too detailed comment here about the mysterious rash I developed after some tea-tree oil made its way into my bath, but then realized what I was doing, and stopped myself. You’re welcome.

    The gist of it was this: I’ve had a blessedly easy time with this pregnancy, other than the rash that 1) defied identification and 2) made my doctor exclaim “That looks awful!”

    oh and skin tags. I had some before, but now I have like 1,000 of them, and they all catch on something uncomfortable when I try to do stuff like wear clothes, which is lame.

    but that’s small potatoes and I still don’t know that I love being pregnant. I love feeling her move about (because it doesn’t hurt yet), but because I don’t have… a ROUNDNESS, I don’t see myself as all maternal-looking. So I do the same thing of “how did I get so FAT?!?!” oh… right…baby…

  • 42. AmyDoubleyou  |  February 18th, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    Pregnancy is always more fun for me looking back at it I think? Like now with a 6 month old I’m like, you know what, I could be ready to do that again (we are NOT, AT ALL, ACTUALLY ready yet for the record) but it just doesn’t seem that bad. I remember the cute belly and the sending Matt out for ice cream and the overly-niceness of everyone in public. But Matt assures me that I do not like it so much at the time and mostly complain about being so so so tired in the beginning then my hips trying to come apart from the rest of my body in the end. The middle is nice, though? And I never barf at all, or pee through many things, or get weird face stuff. So.

    As far as the birthday goes, do whatever will make Sam happy that day. Will having a huge party at Chuck E Cheese with little friends and family and party favors and shitty skee-ball blow her damn mind? Then do it. Will taking her to the zoo with just you and Adam make her happier? Then do that. Because no, she probably won’t remember, but you will and isn’t making them ridiculously happy the best part?

  • 43. Page  |  February 19th, 2012 at 12:13 am

    I, like Amy K., have no problem with pregnancy, as for the most part it has been very easy for me. A teensy bit of nausea at the start, very little weight gain and I have only puked, sneezed, peed and shat my pants in rapid succession, say, once.

    However, about a month and a half ago, my pubic symphysis went out of alignment and I accepted the horrible, splitting pain I have as something NORMAL because I just assumed something crappy had to happen somewhere along the way. I wish I had asked my doctor about it earlier, as there are definitely solutions to help the condition. Also, I hit the edema stage with 5 weeks left to go and it is not pleasant, but not unbearable. I’m more afraid than anything that the doc will try to put me on bed rest.

    Truly though, I feel BLESSED to have had it so mercifully easy, when I hear the stories of how terrible my friends’ pregnancies have been. I am so sorry that pregnancy has been so rough on you. And you go on and wear those yoga pants with pride, dear heart. i wish I could get away with them at work. I’ll continue to hitch up my hand-me-down jeans and dream of stretch material.

    I can’t wait for birthday parties, but in a way, I dread the shit out of them: it just feels like one has to top the next, and so on. I’d rather keep them casual, unlike my chosen profession seems to dictate.

  • 44. JMH  |  February 20th, 2012 at 8:26 am

    My kids didn’t have friend birthday parties until they were 5. I have also learned NOT to host the bigger parties at my house. I love having a party where I don’t have to clean my house before/after the party. I think the best ones were when we rented the pool at the YMCA. They all swam and played in the pool for an hour, and then we had snacks/cake/presents in another room for an hour and they all went home. It was great! I also loved the party at the bowling alley….anything to keep the kids moving and engaged is the way to go. I don’t do crafts, goody bags, etc. and they all have fun. My daughter is turning 11 and she wants to take 2 of her friends to a movie and out to dinner….perfect!

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  • 47. TwoBusy  |  February 21st, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Dude, all I can tell you is that the birthday party insanity has ramped up to ridiculous levels this year (as my girls’ friends turn 7). These aren’t just “we rented out a local gym for 90 mins so the kids can jump in a ball pit and then eat pizza” kind of things: these are full-on DESTINATION BIRTHDAY PARTIES that put to shame any event other than our wedding that I’ve ever been a part of in my entire (long and apparently dismal) life.

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  • 48. monica  |  February 22nd, 2012 at 6:03 pm

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  • 49. laziza  |  February 23rd, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    OK, don’t be mad at me, please, but I was one of those people who loved being pregnant both times. And, no, those things didn’t happen to me. I got the good part – I too had the ASS OF AN ELF – but without any of the ick factors. I think I threw up once? Maybe? I dunno – just made for breedin’ babies, I guess.

    For my son’s third birthday party, we invited a bunch of his friends to a nearby park. Balloons were the sole decoration. We had store-brought cupcakes and had Dominos pizza delivered TO the park. Spent a total of, like, $75? And they had a freaking BLAST. (Except for when the birthday boy got his arm wedged into the play structure and three of the dads had to work together to pry him out. That part sucked. The rest was delightful.)

  • 50. Carrie  |  February 23rd, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Your assumptions are correct. Those of us who love to be pregnant do NOT get pukey, only pee our pants when our bladders are full and we cough/sneeze/laugh, and do NOT get yeasty anything.

    Although I admit this pregnancy and the one before have had kind of sucky third trimesters with the kidney stone incident (I’D RATHER GO THRU LABOR), the back/hip/sciatica pain, and the just generally annoying heartburn.

    Ah yes, birthdays! When my other kids were little, I would just invite maybe two or three kids over and have a little game and cake. And no one blinked an eye. I even had a few “parties” where I showed up at our at-home day care with cake and said, “Enjoy!” The kids are too little to mind it not being a huge event and all pricey. They get cake, they are (usually) happy.

  • 51. Sarah  |  February 23rd, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    I didn’t LOVE pregnancy, but I guess I didn’t really mind it because I am one of the lucky ones who had very few ‘symptoms.’ Most of the time, I felt pretty much like myself. That said, as a general state of being I’d rather be NOT pregnant than pregnant. Pregnancy, to me, is still a means to an end.

    As for the birthday parties, I’m with you. I feel silly throwing a big she-bang for someone who’s just as happy playing with a piece of fuzz from the carpet. Plus, my kid tends to get shy in groups so I think a big party would be overwhelming for him (at least at this age). Parents have to ask themselves, am I throwing this party more for my child or for me? I do make exceptions for 1st birthday parties, which I think can rightfully be a celebration of the parents surviving Year One.

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    I do not LOVE being pregnant (see: peeing and barfing throughout), yet both times, a few months postpartum, I’ve decided that I REALLY miss being pregnant. Yes, I realize this makes me sound crazy. I don’t understand it either…

    You wear those yoga pants proudly! I used to never think it was okay to go out in public in them either (for myself, did not judge others), but now I laugh at that person, as I do it on occasion and just do not care.

  • 54. Carla  |  February 27th, 2012 at 11:56 am

    I really enjoyed myself last time. Last time I had boundless energy, required 3-4 hours LESS sleep each day and felt so great that DESPITE back pain, sciatica, allergies (that involved the don’t-pee-while-sneezing-sixteen-times-in-a-row challenge) and a teenage complexion, I was much better off overall.

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