I’m alive! I’m ALIVE! Look at me, all TYPING SOMETHING I’M NOT CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO DO! Or, you know, something that’s not making me miserable. Not that work makes me miserable! Au contraire! I love what I do, really, I do, but there was a bit too many things going on there at once, all DUE at once, and … well, no one needs to hear about any of this, really, except that I have three obvious pro tips for you:
1) There is such a thing as seeing too much True Blood. I had to re-watch the whole show from start to finish. Many times. You want to know what happened in any episode? What Bill was wearing? What Eric was wearing? Oh, just ask me! I’ll tell you in excessive detail! My favorite Eric outfit, if you were wondering, was the zip-up track suit he wore in the department store with some kind of, um, horn around his neck. Oh, it was the first episode where he debuted his new haircut and, wait, where are you going?
2) No matter how much work you have to do, writing in a moving vehicle is ill advised. As is taking no breaks whatsoever (except to Shred) and not leaving the house or seeing your friends or getting your BABY out of the house. If you do what I did, which was to NEVER LEAVE OR STOP WORKING, you find yourself coming completely undone, your baby coming undone and having your husband gently take you aside and suggest that you walk the dog to “see the trees” and get perspective. SEE THE TREES.
3) Again, folks, LEAVE THE HOUSE. TAKE A BREAK. DO NOT BE ME. LEEEEAAAAVVEEE THE HOOUUUUSSSEEE. Twitter is great, but it is NOT meant to be your only form of social interaction. Repeat, Twitter does not substitute for actual human friends and conversation. Like, AT ALL.
So that’s what you missed. My slow descent into madness. I’m slowly clawing my way back to normalcy. I’ll write more normal stuff when I start acting … normal again.
But! I have Book Lushes news! Voting is now open on the next book! Here’s the poll!
A brief weekend update to what I alluded to on my last entry, this time with purpose!
About a month ago, Jennie mentioned her company was doing an upcoming anthology on True Blood. And people, you KNOW how I feelaboutTrueBlood, considering it’s the only show I’ve seen in its entirety more than twice since the Golden Girls. Ergo, and perhaps totally unsurprisingly, she suggested I submit a topic to the editor, and I did, and surprisingly, they accepted it.
The first time my words will be in something bound and it’s about … vampires and sex. Fitting! Anyway, I’m obviously very excited and can now totally come out with it (and out with Jennie, now that she’s outed herself). We’re all out! And proud! Or something.
The point of this is that the anthology is announced (it’s being released in June, with at least two or three updates on the essay from me throughout the third season), and you can go vote on the cover.
If you’re wondering, by the way, if my essay is on the sexy beast that is Eric and why/how/whatthefuck Alexander Skarsgard was thinking with those purported silicone back implants, you’re wrong. My essay is about Bill. BILL! I know! I didn’t see that one coming either, but it seems I have STRONG FEELINGS on what Alan Ball and Stephen Moyer are doing to Bill, and by association, Sookie, and folks, it’s not good. (SOOKEH! BEEEEL!)
Separately, Smart Pop Books are fantastic, you guys, and I’m not just saying that. I’ve contributed to a lot of things here and there and just taken the money and ran without making a thing of it, because the product (other than my brilliant contribution, of course), has sucked. These, however? Are beyond awesome. If you’re a fan of Television Without Pity or any of the recapping sites, you’ll love these. They have all the wit and smarts, plus deeper analysis. I’m not sure what they were thinking when they agreed to let me write for them. My personal favorite, if you were wondering, is the Charmed one (oh a pun!), which makes the series seem smart and a total win for feminism, meaning I no longer beat myself up for all those hours I spent parked in front of TNT while pregnant. Charmed! Who knew? And Lost! The Lost one is great, too. I’m sure the rest of them are ALSO spectacular, but a) I haven’t gotten to read them all yet; and b) I’m not a fan of all the shows/products they cover, so some of them won’t mean that much to me yet.
I’m not kidding. There is an entire brilliant essay on why the producers of Charmed were BALLS OUT to kill off Prue and I ATE IT UP, because it was SO TRUE and suddenly I didn’t feel so cheated by the way they just left us all dangling there with the whole Shax Did-He-Or-Didn’t-He thing.
Anyway. That’s the scoop. I’m writing and posting now in a separate post not to make a big thing of it intentionally, but because the poll is only up for the weekend, and I want to know what you think. I have an opinion of course, but I’ll save it for the very end.